There was a time in her life when Kim told herself that she would never fall in love again. She had known how it felt to be hurt and from then on, she had kept her heart in fences.

She was good at it until she met him…

Kim let out a sigh as she tried to absorb the ambiance of the venue. In the background plays a string quartet rendition of one of her favorite wedding songs, I Do. She let her sight linger on the beautifully adorned roof of the chapel and noted how the white cloth billowing above made the ambiance seem heavenly. Her gaze then slowly trailed to the altar where fresh blooms complemented perfectly the gold-painted chairs where the bride and the groom will sit during the ceremonies. She knew that this is the culmination of all the preparations that she’s done for the past months but she still felt a little jittery about all these.

“Kaya mo yan Kim. Tira-tira!” Kim said to herself encouragingly as she took a long, deep breath and focused her vision to the man she’s going to marry standing in front about 10 meters away from where she was. Just the sight of him made her knees buckle but the moment their eyes met, her heart swelled with joy.

And then Gerald bestowed on her THE smile. And everything else became a blur. She just realized a second later that she was already walking down the aisle. Slowly, gracefully, she closed the gap between her and her groom. Never losing eye contact, she could see that his eyes were getting a little misty. That thought triggered her much kept tears to well freely from her perfectly made up eyes. Running mascaras or ruined make up were the least of her concerns at that moment. For her, this was a dream come true.

She felt as if she just floated all the way and when Gerald took her by the hand, she felt like she would combust anytime. When she was with him, she knows she’s safe, she’s home… Gerald was holding her gaze and together, they walked towards the altar. God help her, she really felt like she would faint anytime and before she could even compose herself, Kim missed a step going up.

“Cut!” It was only when the director yelled that Kim realized that she was just in a world of make-believe. True, Gerald and she were getting married but only for the TV show that they were doing. She felt like she just woke up from a beautiful dream.

“Kim, are you okay?” Gerald asked in a worried voice. Still a bit dazed, she nodded absentmindedly. “You’re shaking, are you sure you’re okay?” Kim knew that she needed to collect herself and make an excuse quickly. She didn’t want Gerald to have a clue on what was going on with her.

“Okay lang ako. Natapakan ko lang kasi itong gown ko sa sobrang haba kaya ako natapilok.” She said avoiding Gerald’s eyes.

“Kim, okay ka lang ba? Do you need anything?” their director asked as he rushed to them. “Yes, direk. Sorry po.”

“It’s okay, I understand how you feel.” “Po?” Kim asked nervously. “I understand na pagod ka na. Don’t worry, My Girl is almost done.” The director explained much to her relief. She really thought that he had noticed what the truth behind the matter was.

“Sige, pahinga muna kayo.” Then he turned to the cast and crew and called out, “Everyone, let’s take a break!” Kim took a seat and looked around. She was still avoiding Gerald’s eyes, afraid that he might be able to tell.

“Wait here.” Gerald said as he stood up.

When he left, Kim bit her lower lip and started mumbling words to herself. “Sabi ko naman kasi sa’yo, Kim, shooting lang to, okay? Carried away ka naman diyan! Yan tuloy! Muntik ka na mabuko!” “Hoy!”

“Cathy naman eh! Gulatin ba ako?” Kim said when she saw Cathy grinning. “At bakit ganyan ang ngiti mo?”

“Kasi cute!” Kim rolled her eyes. “Anong cute? Cute ka dyan! Natapilok na nga yung tao, cute pa rin?” She shook her head at her friend’s remark. “Eh cute naman talaga kayong dalawa ni Gerald. Para talaga kayong totoong kinakasal. Yun nga lang, natapilok ang bride. Hmmm, bakit ka nga ba natapilok?”

“Eh kasi…” Kim started to speak but when she saw Gerald coming back with a glass of water and a fan in hand, she lost her trail of words.

“Kasi, super excited siya sa kasal namin at hindi siya makapaghintay na mag “I DO”, Gerald cut in. “Di’ba Kim, hindi ka nga rin nakatulog kagabi di ba?”

“Kapal ng mukha mo! Hindi kaya…” Kim tried her best to redeem herself as she gave his left cheek a soft slap.

“Uuuyy! Inamin!” Cathy teased. “Bakit ka hindi nakatulog? Siguro iniisip mo na sana totoong kasal na lang to no?” “Wag nyo nga akong pagtulungan diyan! FYI, super himbing ang tulog ko kagabi no? Siyempre, iniisip ko lang na totoong kasal to para mas effective yung magiging acting ko. Ganun lang yun!” was her defense.

“Well…”Cathy remarked. “If you put it that way.”

“Oo nga naman, Cathy. Ganun lang yun. Ako nga rin eh!” Gerald quipped.

Kim was puzzled. Could it be that Gerald was also not able to sleep? Could it be because, like her, Gerald was also excited and nervous about this whole thing?

Truth be known, Gerald and Cathy were right. Kim was really not able to sleep the night before. She had been tossing and turning all night, she was restless and yet, she had a short but wonderful dream, all because Gerald was in it.

“Talagang iniisip ko din na totoong kasal na ito para mas ma-internalize ko lahat.” Gerald added much to Kim’s disappointment. Then he turned to Kim and chided, “Ano Kim effective ba? Groom na groom ang dating no?” Gerald’s statement crushed her hopeful heart.

So, ganun nga lang talaga yun, she thought to herself. “Whatever you say…Sige na nga, mag re retouch nga lang ako. Babu!” Cathy her heels and sashayed her way to the cast’s dressing area.

“O here, I brought you a drink.” Gerald handed her the glass of water and started fanning her. She really needed that. She gulped down the water that somehow relaxed her but she felt Gerald’s intent gaze boring into her making her heart beat at the highest speed possible. When she was walking down the aisle earlier, everything seemed so real.

The excitement of people around them, the look he was giving her earlier very similar to that of a devoted husband-to-be and most especially the way her heart fluttered in time with her every step towards him.

“Gaga ka talaga, Kimmy! Sinasabi ko sa’yo, don’t ever hope! Huwag kang mag-iisip ng ikasasama ng loob mo. Alam mo namang ikaw lang ang nag-iisp ng ganun eh.” Kim mumbled to herself.

“May sinasabi ka ba?” She heard Gerald ask.

“Ha? Wala wala.” She denied. “Ako na.” She tried to take the fan from Gerald.

“No, hindi pwede, ang groom dapat ang nagpapaypay sa bride niya.” “Susme! Sino ba namang di kikiligin sa mokong na ito?”, Kim thought. What in the world was Gerald doing to her? No matter how she tried not to give a different meaning to his endearing actions, she couldn’t help it. And even if she denies it to herself, bawat bagay na gawin ni Gerald, talagang nagpapakilig sa kanya.

The simplest touch from this guy made her swoon. Buti na lang matibay-tibay ang katawan nya kung hindi nabagok na sya malamang dahil sa tuwing kasama n’ya si Ge di lumilipas ang araw na wala syang “swooning” moment.

“Do you need anything else? Okay ka na ba talaga” Gerald asked again. “Wala naman… thanks Ge.” Was all she could say. She couldn’t really tell if she was okay and so she simply thanked him.

“You’re welcome.” Gerald winked and God, it made her heart go wild for the umpteenth time. “Anything for you.” He added.

Shortly after, the production assistant called in all the cast and crew to resume the taping. After 10 long hours the director concluded the second to the last sequence for the wedding scene. For Kim, the past 10 hours had been an emotional roller-coaster ride. Adding her lack of sleep and physical exhaustion for the past months, she helplessly gave in to a bout of tears that she’s been keeping at bay since the first sequence.

“O tapos na ang take.” He said as he turned to her and realized that she was in tears. “Why are you crying?”

“Nadala lang kasi ako dun sa eksena.” Kim answered flatly. There was no way that she could deny her tears, Gerald had already caught her in the act. “This is nothing.”

“Are you sure?” He looked at her inquiringly while handing her a fresh, neatly folded hanky.

“Yup. Salamat.” Kim tried her best to get hold of her emotions. She tried to dry up the traces of tears with the hanky that Gerald gave her, then she gave him a sideways look and a small smile.

“Ano bang mapipintas ko sa Bisoy na ito? Haay... pati panyo ang bango-bango.” She thought.

“Kimmy, are you hungry?” Obviously concerned, Gerald kept on her back slowly as if to appease her.

“Eto na naman po tayo… Lord, bakit naman nung nagsabog kayo ng kabaitan sa mundo parang pinasalo mong sadya kay Gerald?”, Kim questioned the Creator silently.

“Medyo.” Kim answered without looking and without any word from Gerald, he scooped her off her feet. “Gerald ano ka ba! Saan mo ako dadalhin? Put me down, please!”

“Kim, wag kang malikot, mabibitwan kita! Umuulan o, maputik pa, baka madumihan ang gown mo.”

Naman eh!

Kim didn’t want to give any meaning to what Gerald was doing for her but then again, something in her heart, wanted to hope again, to believe. Could it be? Could it really be? Without even realizing it, she just found herself snuggled close to Gerald, kung pwede nga lang, wag nang umikot ang mundo. It felt really good to be in his arms and bask in the attention that he was showering her. She nuzzled her face close to his neck and breathed in his scent. Ang bango! Amoy baby talaga.

“Pagod ka na ano?” Gerald asked as he walked her towards the tent where the dinner was set. “Ha? Sorry.” Feeling like a 3-year old caught with one hand inside the cookie jar, Kim pulled away in embarrassment.

“Pagod ka na nga…” Gerald concluded. “Don’t worry, isang take na lang and then tapos na tayo.” Somehow, she could not process the thought.

“Tapos na tayo?” She felt like crying. “Ano ka ba?” Gerald laughed. “What I mean is, isang take na lang and then tapos na tayong mag tape so pwede na tayong umuwi.” He patiently explained while beaming at her.

“Ah, okay.” She bit her lower lip. Today was indeed their last day of taping and though Gerald and her had another series to do, she still felt like crying. She would miss him for sure. It would still take two or more weeks before they could start taping for the new show.

“Hindi naman ako napapagod kapag kasama kita eh.” She thought. “Hindi ako napapagod kasi kasal ko.”

“Aha!” Kim closed her eyes when she realized what she just mumbled. “Sabi ko na nga ba eh!” May tinatago ka ba sa akin?” Gerald asked teasingly as he put her down and pulled a chair for her to sit.

“Wala naman akong sinasabi ah.” Kim answered in defense. “Meron. I heard that.” Gerald insisted.

“Wala nga eh!”

“Meron eh! Ikaw Kim ha, naglilihim ka na sa akin. Kala ko ba, walang secrets? Umupo ka lang dyan, saglit lang ako,” Gerald then walked away to get some food for her.

Kim couldn’t deny the fact that he was the best ka-loveteam to have not only because he had always taken good care of her but he also really tries to understand her little quirks. Case in point was her crying marathon earlier.

“Magkaibigan naman tayo di ba?” Gerald continued as he handed Kim her food and sat beside her.

Reality bites.

“Ge…”

“Ganoon pala gusto mo pag kinasal ka na. Hindi mo naman sinasabi sa akin eh. Don’t worry, you just have to make sure na ipakilala mo muna sa akin ang pakakasalan mo para masabihan ko na buhatin ka din. Para sigurado that he’ll carry you over the threshold.” Gerald smiled.

Her initial reaction to his remark was to let out a sigh of relief. That was so close. Akala n’ya nabuking na s’ya ni Bisoy. But the good feeling was immediately replaced with heart-wrenching pain as understanding dawned on her. Did she hear it right? Did Gerald say that someday she’ll marry someone but that someone will definitely not be him?!

“Talaga! Lahat naman kaming mga babae ganito ang pangarap eh, bakit ba?” She retorted. Trying her best to hide the disappointment in her voice.

“Okay. Pero for now, you need to eat a lot, as in lahat yan kakainin mo okay?” He said pointing to her plate that was full of food. “At yung vitamins mo mamaya, wag mong kakalimutan.”

That was Gerald, always the concerned and sweet friend to her. Kim, despite the hurt, couldn’t help but smile at his thoughtfulness. In the middle of having dinner, Gerald’s phone rang and so he excused himself so he could take the call.

Kim could still see him at a respectable distance. Every time he smiles, she found herself smiling as well, dreaming dreams of him…

“Sorry!” Gerald apologized when he came back. “O tapos ka na? Have some more.”

“Ge, hindi ko na talaga kaya. Ang dami mo na kaya pinakain sa akin,” Kim complained but deep inside, she’s really giddy with all the attention and concern he was showering her with.

“Okay sige, pero vitamins mo mamaya ha?”

“Yes boss!” Kim grinned at him like a toddler. Then she focused her attention in finishing the tall glass of pineapple juice that Gerald handed to her earlier.

“Ah Kim,” Gerald cleared his throat. Halfway through the juice, he interrupted. “Can I ask you something?”

She almost choked at that.

“Ano yun?” She asked nervously, why does Gerald sound so serious?

“Ano bang magandang gift for a girl? Ikaw, anong magugustuhan mo kaya?”

What in the world is Gerald talking about? “Ako? Ha a eh, depende.” Kim could feel her brain cells working double time. Trying to keep up with the pace her heart was beating at that moment.

Syet! Eto na ata ang moment na hinihintay n’ya.

“Depends on what?” Gerald probed on, one eyebrow lifted.

“Sa okasyon.” Kim answered demurely. She started fidgeting with her fingers, an obvious sign that the conversation was, in the least, unsettling for her.

Kim, hinga ng malalim. Di ka pwedeng himatayin ngayon…

“Ahhh… E kung walang okasyon, tapos gusto ko lang siyang regaluhan?” Gerald supplemented.

This is it Kim, THIS IS IT!

Kim once again was having a difficult time looking straight into his eyes. She felt the deep crimson creeping on her cheeks.

Could it be that Gerald was talking about her?

“Depende din sa babae.” was Kim’s short answer.

God please sana di naman masyadong obvious ang blush ko. Kim prayed silently.

“Eh kung sporty yung girl?” Gerald probed.

Sporty? Her luminescence obviously went down a notch.

“Sporty at wide reader din.” Gerald went on. Oblivious of Kim’s sudden cross expression.

That was when Gerald’s words registered on her mind. Sporty and wide-reader. She was none of the above. It only meant one thing, Gerald was not talking about her. Her expression was then downright dark and brooding.

“Kim? Are you okay?” Gerald asked.

“Ha?” Kim hardly heard him. She could only hear the heavy, rhythmic thump of her bruised heart.

“Kasi, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this. There’s this girl…”

Gerald started to explain and Kim refused to hear what he was talking about. It felt like being splashed on with a bucket of cold water. She was so stupid! With a trembling hand, she took her glass and drank it up. She didn’t want Gerald to see her crying but really, hear heart was now drowning in tears.

“Kim? What’s wrong?” She didn’t answer.

“Are you okay?” She nodded.

“Bakit ka namumutla?” concern was then evident in Gerald’s voice.

“Wala to. Don’t mind me.” Kim stood up. She needed to go somewhere else immediately. She needed to be alone, if only so she could cry and wallow in self-pity.

How stupid and crazy could she be all these years?

“Where are you going?” “I have to get ready for the next take. Excuse me.” Kim abruptly stood up and gathered the long trail of her dress.

Right after she turned her back at Gerald, tears started to fall. The only thought running through her mind was to get as far away from Gerald as possible.

“Kimmy, wait di mo pa sinasagot yung tanong ko.” Gerald tried to follow her but she was just too fast for him. She had known Gerald for so long now and they had always been good friend, the best of friends actually. They have shared everything, talked about trivial matters to serious ones. They talked about their families, dreams, wishes and longings. He tells her everything and she tells him everything, except for the truth on how she really feels for him. If only she had not crossed the line, things would have been okay. If only she had not allowed herself to fall in love with him…

Yes, Kim was in love with her best friend and that was the problem.