In the wee hours of the evening, Kim remained awake. She was just looking at the crescent moon that hung low in the dark sky. Could it be that Gerald was also doing the same thing? It had been one of their favorite things to do and Kim sighed as she thought that she would also have to get used to not having him around.

Unfortunately for her, she had reached a point where she couldn’t imagine a future without him but she knows that a future with him is close to impossible. She had to bear with the bitter truth that he doesn’t feel the same way towards her.

“This is going to be the last time that I will cry because of you.” Kim said as tears rolled down her cheeks. She looked at his picture that was on her cell phone. “Because after tonight, I am finally letting you go.”

She traced his face with her fingers. She would miss him a lot but this was something that she needed to do, not only for herself but for Gerald as well. In fairness to him, he never really told her that he loved her. There was not even the slightest chance that he felt the same way she does. She had misunderstood everything and there was no one else to blame but her. If only she hadn’t crossed the line.

“Goodbye Gerald.” She sniffed as she started to delete everything that would remind her of him.

“You what?”

“Ate Imee, please.” Kim sounded helpless. She looked around and sensed the questioning look on the faces of the people around them. She just told her handler that she had decided on something.

“I’m sorry, nabigla lang ako.” Imee lowered her voice and pulled Kim into a room. “Seryoso ka ba? I mean, this could still be fixed.”

“I’ve made up my mind, Ate.”

Imee, who had been her handler from day one, gave her hand a gentle but assuring squeeze. “Is this what would make you happy?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “This is hurting me at the same time but this is something that I had to do.”

“Kung ako lang ang tatanungin mo, I don’t like the idea. You and Gerald have come a long way together, sayang naman but among other things, I want you to be at peace. I want you to be happy.”

“Kim, why don’t you sit down and we’ll talk about it.” Her manager told her a few minutes ago. She had come to see her personally and told her about her decision. “Baka naman nabigla ka lang,”

Kim immediately shook her head. Her heart was crushing deep inside but she had to remain firm. This was not the time to chicken out.

“I’m sorry Miss P. I’ve made up my mind.” She said, avoiding her manager’s stern look.

“Okay, but would you at least like to let me know why this is all so sudden? Nag-away ba kayo ni Ge?”

“Gerald and I…were...” Kim bit her lower lip as she struggled to find the right words to sound convincing enough. “It’s nothing personal, Miss P. I just want a change. Ayoko ho muna ng love team. Besides, I know Gerald would agree.” Kim ranted with the hope that she didn’t sound so defensive.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Alam na ba to ni Ge?”

“Hindi pa but I hope he wouldn’t mind. Career move lang talaga.” She lied.

Miss P didn’t seem to be convinced at all but she didn’t want her talents to do something that they are no longer happy of. She treats them as her own children and wanted them to grow as individuals.

Letting out a sigh, she took Kim by the hand. “You know what, sayang talaga ang nasimulan nyo na ni Ge. Maraming tao ang malulungkot and I am one of them but if this is what will make you happy, then…” Unable to finish her sentence, she hugged Kim instead.

“Thank you, Miss P. I’m sorry.” Kim said softly as she hugged her manager back, her tears almost giving in. “I’m sure Gerald would be a great actor by himself. He is. Magaling naman talaga siya, with or without me.”

“I still don’t agree with you but I think I can learn how to understand.”

“Miss P…” Kim could no longer hold her tears.

“I just want you to be happy and if you need someone to talk to, remember that aside from being your manager, I am also your friend, okay?”

Kim thought about what her manager had told her. Her decision didn’t make her happy at all. She was sad to have arrived at that decision but then again, what can a poor heart do?

That night, she knelt by her bedside and poured her heart in prayer. At first, she felt sick and stupid not having the right words to say. She just cried and cried and then asked for the Lord to strengthen her. She also prayed that their fans would understand. She knew that it would hurt them as much as it was hurting her. Gerald and she have grown to love their fans and they have become their closest friends so more than anybody else, she hoped that they would understand. Last but not the least, she prayed for Gerald. Kim knew that it would hurt him too and he would probably be mad at her. Gerald might hate her but she asked the Lord that Gerald would be able to carry on and stay happy.

“Kim…”

The moment she saw Gerald the following evening, Kim felt her palms sweating and her knees buckling. Judging on the look on Gerald’s face, Kim could tell that he already knew.

“Hi.” She managed to say and then she looked down. She just could not look into his eyes.

“Bakit?” Gerald asked, his voice was low that Kim didn’t know what to make of it. She had expected him to be angry. He can even curse her and she would accept everything. She thought it would help her let go of the feelings she had in her heart but instead, Gerald was acting the other way around and Kim just wanted to hug him and say sorry. Kim felt that she had lost her tongue for she could not say anything.

Kim sat down in one of the garden seats and choked back the tears that threatened to fall. This was harder than she had imagined it to be.

“I’m sorry, Ge. It’s nothing against you.” She began.

“Nothing against me? Is that why you are breaking up with the love team because it’s nothing against me?” Gerald interrupted. “Why?”

Kim felt like she was inside a courtroom and she had to tell the truth but she doubt if she was ready to do so.

“Kim, please. Magsalita ka naman.” Gerald pressed on after a moment of silence. His eyes were full of questions. There was disappointment and sadness in them. “Have I done anything wrong? Galit ka ba sa akin?”

“No Ge. You didn’t do anything wrong at hindi rin ako galit sayo.”

“Then why are you breaking up with the love team? Okay naman tayo di’ba?”

“You’ll be fine without me, Gerald.” Kim flatly told him. “You will excel even without me, alam naman natin yun di’ba?”

“What are you talking about? I’m not after the fame!” Gerald let out an exasperated sigh. He wasn’t sure whether he should be offended or not. “I’m concerned about the friendship. May problema ba tayo?”

“I already told you that it’s nothing personal.” Kim was still trying to avoid his eyes. She just could not look at them or else…

She turned her back at Gerald but the latter was quick to hold her arms.

“Then tell me what this is all about! Don’t you think I deserve a valid explanation?”

God knows how much she had tried to control her emotions but now, it had almost reached the brim. With her back still turned against Gerald, Kim spoke with her eyes closed.

“I’ve grown past the love team, Ge. I wanted to try something new.” She mustered all the courage she could possibly have that time and faced him with all her might but her heart crushed the moment she saw him crying. “And you deserve it too. Believe me, this is going to be good for both of us.” She added, her tears almost giving in.

“If that’s the case then why haven’t you told me first? Bakit wala ka man lang nababanggit?” Frustration was imminent in his voice and the strong grasp he had of her arm.

At that point, Kim got tongue tied once again. She didn’t know what else to say.

“Let me go, Ge.” She tried to move away from him and walked a few inches from where he was standing.

“Kim please…”

For the second time that evening, Gerald wasn’t sure whether he would be offended by Kim’s confession that she had grown past their love team. It was a big blow on Gerald’s part that had been faking her enthusiasm towards their on-screen partnership for who knows how long but her honesty is something he appreciates. What he can’t grasp though is the rationale for her sudden decision.

“I’m sorry, Gerald.”

“Don’t be, Kim. You still have a choice. You’ve always had a choice. I just wished that you had told me before anybody else knew.” He said as he sat down.

Again, there was a moment of silence. The stillness of the moment was killing both of them.

Coming back from his personal musings, Gerald decided to break the ice…

“Kim, aside from what you’ve told me, is there anything else that I should know about? May nagawa ba ako na ikinagalit or ikinasama ng loob mo?”

Kim dared not answer, was she ready for this?

“You’ve been avoiding me for days and you’re not answering any of my calls. Hindi ako sanay ng ganito. I thought we were friends but why do I have this feeling na pati yun, gusto mo na ring ibalewala?”

Kim felt a pang in her heart. She had been feeling guilty and disloyal to Gerald but she knew that the more they remained the kind of friends that they were, the more it would hurt in the long run.

“I’m sorry Ge…”

“Sorry! Sorry! Is that all you have to say? Kim at this point, I don’t need your apologies. I just need you to let me know once and for all kung ano ba talagang dahilan. That’s the least you can do for me.”

At that point, Kim knew what she had to do. She had always been told that the truth would set anyone free and right now, telling Gerald the whole truth could either make or break the friendship. Either way, Gerald had to know.

“Fine!” Kim couldn’t contain her emotions any longer. She had kept this long enough and maybe, just maybe, letting this whole thing out would help her move on. Her tears started to fall like rain the moment she looked at him.

“Kim? Why are you crying?” There was worry and concern in Gerald’s voice.

“Gerald, this is hurting me more than it is hurting you. You see, this has been hurting me all along. Hindi ko na to kaya.”

“What are you talking about?” Gerald walked towards her but she stepped back.

“Please don’t. Wag mo akong lalapitan, Ge.” She begged, afraid that his touch would just weaken her resolve.

“This has been hurting you all along? I’ve been hurting you all along? Is that what you are trying to tell me? Bakit?” Confused as he was, Gerald couldn’t help but cry as well.

“Ge…”

“Dahil ba makulit ako? Dahil ba naiinis ka na sa mga jokes ko?”

Kim shook her head. Those things were a part of Gerald and she loved him nonetheless.

“Then why? Kim, in the first place, you know we’re the best of friends and you can always tell me anything.”

“Yun na nga ang problema eh! Magkaibigan tayo and as you would have it, the best of friends!” Kim swallowed the lump in and faked a strong front.

“Aren’t we?”

“Yes we are! And so you see Gerald, I could not afford to risk that friendship. Ayoko din na maapektuhan ang trabaho natin dahil lang sa…”

“Dahil sa ano?” Gerald interrupted.

“Dahil sa pagmamahal ko sa’yo!” Kim was herself surprised to have given it to him straight.

Now, it was Gerald’s turn to be tongue tied. His heart skipped a few beats only to beat frantically in only a few seconds later. His head grew heavy at the sudden confession.

Kim took this moment to say her piece. She figured that after tonight, she wouldn’t have a need to say anything because this was the night that she was letting him go.

“You heard me right, Ge.” She said as she wiped her tears. “I had fallen in love with you. I had fallen in love with my best friend. And that’s stupid, right? I am stupid!”

“Kim…” Gerald wanted to say something but it seemed like his conversational skills were now limited to just one word.

“You don’t really have to say anything. I would understand kung magalit ka sa akin. Kung ayaw mo na ako makita after tonight, okay lang.”

Gerald just couldn’t say anything. So this is what it was all about, he thought to himself.

Kim thought that when Gerald didn’t say anything, it meant that he was mad and he didn’t like what she had told him. That was all the more, a reason for her to let go.

“Now, you really need my apologies. I’m sorry for being unfair to you, Ge. I’m sorry na pati ang love team natin, kailangan ko na din na i give up. I want you to be happy and yes, you can really be happy without me. So…so just go.”

Gerald didn’t trust himself to speak. He glanced at her then quickly dropped his eyes again.

Kim had spoken sincerely and he wanted to believe her, he really did. He wanted to believe that he could be happy without her. He just wasn’t sure if he ever would.

Still trying to digest everything he’d heard, Gerald spun on his heels and followed her request for him to go.