His hand against the wall, firmly pressed and his body leaning closer, eye gleaming with challenge and excitement. Jackson’s heart is beating wildly, but he doesn’t want to show it, he has too much pride to let Mark know how his proximity has turned his heartbeat into a roar in his ears, that his whole body is tingling. No, Jackson is controlling himself and trying his best to look unfazed, as if nothing is happening and that the fact Mark Tuan is invading his personal space while doing a wall trap is insignificant.

 Mark smirks, leaning a bit closer but Jackson doesn’t even blink, in fact he lifts his chin, challenging the older back.

Dark eyes dart to Jackson’s lips for three heartbeats before they are back, locked with the younger’s and then Mark whispers: “What if I kiss you now?”

Jackson tries to remember how they got to that moment, when things changed so much to the point he doesn’t mind if Mark kisses him. No, scratch that, Jackson wants Mark to kiss him, like now. 

It’s almost impossible to pinpoint when their dynamic changed, perhaps it began when they were told to be close.

◦ ◦ ◦

When they were all trainees, they got along but at the end of the day, everyone was the other’s enemy. They were all competing for the same thing: debuting. For Jackson, every other trainee was someone he had to defeat, someone he had to surpass to become the best. He had sacrificed so much to accomplish the dream of becoming an idol, he couldn’t be lousy. He had left behind his life and future as a fencer, his family was left back in Hong Kong and he had come, all alone, to follow his dream.

Jackson was a social person, he befriended them easily and had fun with everyone, although he also had many issues trying to learn the social norms and such, not to mention the language. However, even if they became friends, they were also people Jackson couldn’t take for granted and relax. Being friends didn’t mean they would go easy on him.

JYPE was a company who brought many foreigns, so Jackson wasn’t the only one struggling with Korean, there were other kids like him. Mark Tuan was a bit older than Jackson, from LA so they had English in common. At first, that was why they got close, because they could communicate and Mark, just like Jackson, didn’t feel confident with his Korean so it was a relief and a breath of fresh air being able to communicate without getting a headache.

But Mark and Jackson were pole opposites. While Jackson was loud and social and obnoxious, Mark was quiet, observant and calm. Not that Mark couldn’t be loud and hyper, but that wasn’t how he normally acted with people he didn’t know, like Jackson did. 

At first, they were happy to be put in the same group together to debut, but with them came other five boys and like that, they realised they had more in common with other members. Jackson got on famously with BamBam, also Jinyoung and Jaebum. Mark clearly felt more comfortable with Jinyoung so, naturally, Jackson and Mark grew apart, even if the others didn’t notice it or minded. The two boys were made to share rooms because everyone assumed they were the closest two. 

They weren’t that close.

Upon debuting, fans also assumed they were the closest just because they got on, but Jackson got on with everyone, the o