it was eerily calm and almost everything all at once when he caught a glimpse of jimin's eyes with his smile directed at him, sitting across him in the café.

inspired by crush by yuna featuring usher :)

poster credits to shin-oppa from

review #1 credits to Sentimental_Android from Finding Neverland

For charmingusta:

Title (4/5) - How original is your title and how much does it relate to the story?

• I think I get it. I mean, I don't totally get it, but it is related to falling down for someone I think? It isn't too clear to me how it is related because I only think I get it, so I am just going to dock one point

Description/Forward (8/10) - how much did it catch my attention and relate to the story?

• It is short but so is the story so..however it does state what clearly happens in the drabble which is good and bad. Good that it is clear what happens, but bad that I already know what's going to happen? Your poster is so cute I love how he is looking at him so precious -squees- It makes me want to read the story so they did a good job with that

Plot (11/20) -
Originality - how unique and different is your story?

• Sadly, it isn’t that original. It isn’t a new concept to see your crush and get little fluttery feelings but :( However:

Believable - in your story's world, how much do I believe this is what is happening?

• It is very believable. And precious. Did I mention precious? It was such a cute simple drabble. There isn’t much plot, so points do need to be docked in this category. And I do want more from it. It is so short I wanna read more. I want to see them interact, I want to see the two cuties all blushing and cute together, and I’m disappointed I didn’t get that.

Characters (18/30) -
Voice - how strong is your narrative voice/the character's voice?

• Your writing voice is just as precious as the story <3

• However the characters don’t speak and I wish they had a voice, although I get maybe that was the point. So...I can only take away so many points for that.

Development - how much does the character grow in the story?

• It’s a drabble. It’s short. They don’t develop, but I don’t expect them to. As I already said, I wish they talked. But that wasn’t your point.

Personality - how alive do they feel?

• They felt a little bit alive. It’s hard to be alive in a short story. You have to do it quick and fast that it’s almost missed. But they were okay as characters. They weren’t groundbreaking, but they were simply adorable.

Setting (8/10) - how well-built and represented is your setting in the story?

• I don’t think you needed setting and what you had was fine. It was about the characters, not the setting.

Mechanics (12/15) -
Flow - how does the story pace itself and move along?

• Pretty dang good

Grammar/Vocab - how many errors were there?

• Couple of errors, but I know it isn’t your native language, so I will be forgiving. I can’t write in another language so I admire everyone that can (I know I failed Spanish haha) But still there were some errors here and there with grammar and sentence structure but, eh, whatever XD

Misc. (10/10)
Enjoyability - how much did I enjoy your story?

• I enjoyed it. It was a little short, but you meant it to be short. I just keep saying I wanted more, but only because I did?? I’m trying to find something new to say but that’s all I have. Sequel with them together please!

Satisfactory - am I satisfied with the way it is progressing/ended?

• I WANT MORE I WANNA SEE THEM INTERACT but I already said that haha

Total (71/100)

• It seems low but only because it’s so short. Short stuff is hard. But don’t let it fool you. I liked it a lot. If anything, it was a refreshing story that just needed a little bit more to it to be more satisfying.

• I also adore your gifs. I love that we get to see Jimin too and at the end see how Yoongi looked. It is just -squees again- they're so cute!! I love the addition of them