Charmingusta! Your cheesecake is ready!

of purple sky and the stars we hold

Description

jungkook wasn't one to have his guard down when it came to things, people or any existence besides himself; but when it came to taehyung, he started pouring ink on papers to tell a different story—a story of a boy with belief, faith, and love.

Foreword

this was heavily inspired by shawn mendes--never be alone and taehyung's scene in i need you :)

thank you for dropping by!

review #1 credits to CutieSica101 from WHIMSICAL; a review shop

review #2 credits to BlackRosesTears from LIGHTSABER REVIEW SHOP

review #3 credits to Stoic Bread from TRAVERSE SHOP - REVIEW AND PROOFREED

For charmingusta:

Title (4/5) - How original is your title and how much does it relate to the story?

It's pretty but I...I don't get it. But it's pretty!

Description/Forward (10/10) - how much did it catch my attention and relate to the story?

It was short but so is the drabble so no problems here

Plot (20/20) -

Originality - how unique and different is your story?

It's certainly something different than I typically read. It's kind of like a poem.

Believable - in your story's world, how much do I believe this is what is happening?

Yes. I don't understand what happens but...yes..?

Characters (28/30) -
Voice - how strong is your narrative voice/the character's voice?

Your writing voice is very poetic I like it
One quick thing: Taehyung’s urgent message takes place too fast. I would like a little more build up. A little more of a conversation. It would be more powerful that way and just BAM something happens

Development - how much does the character grow in the story?

I don't think there is supposed to be much of it and that's okay. Drabble typically don't have them

Personality - how alive do they feel?

They feel alive to me!

Setting (10/10) - how well-built and represented is your setting in the story?

There isn't much setting but again it isn't really needed

Mechanics (15/15) -
Flow - how does the story pace itself and move along?

I loved the flow. It was perfect. Especially the song lyrics and messages it's ugh it was flawless

Grammar/Vocab - how many errors were there?

No problems here

Misc. (9/10)
Enjoyability - how much did I enjoy your story?

I AM SO HEALTHFULLY CONFUSED AND I LOVE IT 10/10 MATE

Satisfactory - am I satisfied with the way it is progressing/ended?

DID TAEHYUNG DIE I THINK HE DIED DID HE DIE I JUST UGHHHH I'M SATISFIED BUT I WANT TO UNDERSTAND BUT AT THE SAME TIME I DONT

Total (96/100)

THIS IS HOW YOU WRITE A DRABBLE. :D I want more like this from you. Or maybe not. Make it stand alone so it stand out more.

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Comments

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Amalya #1 May 30, 2016 09:45:03

Chapter 15: Hello! I'm so sorry this has taken me as long as it has to pick up and comment on the poster. O.o Please let the artist know I really do appreciate it. And I very much enjoy the results. It's not as dark as the first image and I really appreciate the step away from that. I like the red text for Friday since it gives off this kind of horror vibe, and that's excellent for the purposes of this story. It's not an actual horror but it does have horror elements I'd say. The city in the background is awesome and I really like that clock in the foreground with the quote just sitting in the face there. Very nice touch! Admittedly, I was unsure about L.Joe's picture at first, but it has since grown on me. I like the way he's actually taking his glasses off (I can think of plenty of symbolism for that ;) haha). Changjo and Cap are pretty excellent though. I will say. That look on Changjo's face is perfect, and that streak of red in his hair is quite fitting, I must say. I like the skulls in the background of the foggy mist just hanging over everything and it all gives off an appropriately dystopian feeling. So thank you again to YongShiShiGuk. I will finally pick up and credit the shop! Thank you! <3