I remember briefly slipping in and out of consciousness. I could hear sirens, and screams from all around me. 

"You'll be okay, Mr Huang. Please do not worry." A professional, yet reassuring voice comforted me in Korean. I felt like replying back, but I was too tired to even open my mouth. I felt lightheaded, and I succumbed to darkness soon after. 

I was floating in space, all alone in my own world, before I was into a beautiful dream that turned into a nightmare. I went back in time, and remembered being bullied by some other trainees. "Who do you think you are?" They pushed me. It was with my wushu background that I did not fall. "Why are you looking at us like this? Do you think that you are all mighty just because you skipped a few classes?" I stood my ground, but I was faltering slightly due to my lack in command of the Korean language.

"Leave him alone." A calming presence stood behind me. It was him. "Rather than bully him, all of you should be practicing and doing your best." He looks at them sternly. The other boys quickly bowed, and left, but not before hurling some offensive slurs at me. I sighed, before making my way to the dance studio to practice. 

"Are you alright?" His long legs caught up to me, and he asked me gently in Chinese. "If you need any help, don't hesitate to ask me. I'll not hesitate to help a fellow countryman in need." I think that was the moment I fell in love with him. I nodded shyly, before leaving. From that day onwards, I tagged along wherever he went, and talked to him only. When I found out that I'll be debuting with him, I was so happy. I was able to see him everyday, interact with him everyday and work hard on achieving my dreams. That was all I ever wanted.

Suddenly, the scene took a disturbing turn. I was immediately into the situation when he left. My heart felt as if it was being ripped out of my chest, when I found out that he left without telling me. I was left all alone. Just when I thought I found someone I could trust, I was abandonned once again. It hurts. It hurts so much. I could recall how quiet the dorm was, and how upset everyone was. I remember vaguely how worried Suho was when he saw me all quiet and emotionless. He even brought up the topic of seeing a therapist, as my mood wasn't changing for a few weeks. I remember crying and bawling into my sheets. It's so painful. Please, oh please, get me out of this nightmare. I can't- please- I can't- 

I jolt awake to beeping monitors, and clean white sheets. A nurse rushed in when the monitor detected that I was awake. "You're awake, Mr Huang. Please do not move. I'll go call the doctor immediately." I was tired and I found my throat so parched that I couldn't even talk. 

A man wearing a white coat walks in with two nurses. "Mr Huang, it's a pleasure to see you awake. You have been in deep sleep for around three days since the car accident. I'll check your vitals, and update you on your condition soon." He takes out medical equipments to check on my body. I looked at a nurse, and then at the TV right in front of the hospital suite. Thankfully she got the message and went to turn on the television for me. At this moment, the news was on television.

"Former EXO member, Huang Zitao got into a car accident two days ago at 2:36am not long after the court hearing. His passionate fans are currently being barricaded out of the hospital, as many has tried to trespassed into the hospital to catch a glimpse of their idol." The camera pans out to capture a bunch of girls holding flowers and screaming desperately. "Another former EXO member, Luhan, was seen in Korea just this morning. It is unclear why he made the trip to Korea, but it is speculated that he is here to visit Huang Zitao, and also for his court hearing which will take place in two weeks."

The nurse gently dribbles water down my throat, and I find the energy to take my phone. 

From : Lu-ge

Zitao, I know that you probably can't reply to me right now, but I'll be reaching Korea soon. I was originally supposed to come in another week's time, but I have decided to come visit you. I hope that you're alright. If you're thinking of him right now, know that he's quite worried too. He actually sent me a text to ask about your wellbeing.

He's worried...? He's worried about me...? Will he actually come visit me if I was even more injured? Is there a chance for me to hold a proper conversation with him again? Hope gives me a pleasant feeling. I felt more uplifted than I ever did for a few months. Also, Luhan is coming! He's coming to see me. A part of me wonders if my former members heard about this, and if they are worried about me. I can imagine Suho pacing around his room. But then again, probably not. Why would they care about an outcast like me? Another part of me wonders if my former company is cackling in sadistic glee at my news. I'll probably be out of action for a month with me injuries. My fans.. I have to see them! They have been here for two days, worrying about me and hoping to see me. I have to oblige. 

"My fans. I need to go." I say softly to the doctor, and I attempt to swing my legs out of bed. But then I find something wrong. When I tried to move my legs, I feel an excruciating pain. Even more painful than my previous injuries. A sense of dread overwhelms me. 

"Hey doctor... What is wrong with me? Why does it hurt so bad?" 

"It's your ligaments and tendons which was injured because of the car accident. You also have Osteochondritis dissecans, in which a piece of your bone or cartilage inside your joint loses blood supply and dies. It is most unfortunate, but you'll be confined to the wheelchair for over seven months. Also, you won't be able to dance much for a good year so that you can recover." The doctor continues taking notes.

What..? Did I hear the doctor correctly? My legs are my life! Not being able to even stand for seven months, and not being able to dance for a year is basically career suicide! I can't even stand on my own now, for seven months. My life. My life will be taken away from me for one year! I can't even promote or have concerts in China for a year. Without publicity, I'm going to fade out, and my fans will forget all about me. This will increase the distance between me and him. Also, what happens now? What's the point of having a lawsuit with my former company, if it means that I'm trapped in this unfortunate circumstance for over a year, having no more standing in the entertainment industry in China. Both winning and losing at this point are both negative for me.

Maybe, I'm truly destined to be forgotten. To be alone. Maybe, just maybe, I shouldn't try anymore. 

A/N : Just a small update! It's so sad and angsty.. :( I promise I'll try to change things for Zitao soon! Please do leave comments, and thank you for reading! :)