I woke up with a groan. I glanced at the clock in my room, it was seven in the morning. I had approximately an hour to prepare. I swung my legs out of bed, but stopped due to the sharp pain. I have yet to get used to not being able to put strength in my legs. I reached for the crutches by my bed. The doctor had given me crutches to use. He told me that it was okay for me to use the crutches for short distances. Slowly, I hoisted myself up, and hobbled awkwardly to the bathroom. My manager placed a chair in the bathroom, so that I could freshen up while sitting down. 

My manager had pancakes prepared for breakfast when I got to the living room. He helped me put on clothes my stylist coordinated for me. It was a simple pair of sandy beige bermudas, and a green dress shirt. My heart swelled in excitement as I took out my boxes of accessories. I kept the beaded bracelet that Yifan-ge gave on, and placed another bracelet (which Kris has as well) on. I also wore my signature single cross earring. Chuckling to myself, I placed a few studs on my other ear holes. Finally, I felt like myself. It has been a long time since I wore these accessories. A text message ended my thought process. I unlocked my phone, and checked my messages. 

From : Yifan-ge

Good morning, Zitao! Today is another day of filming for me... I'm still wearing the bracelet, and I hope you are too! Have a pleasant day, and I'll text you again once filming is done! 

I bet I was smiling like an idiot. Kris sent me a message, with a selfie attached to it. He was also starting to wear his ear studs again. I wonder what fans would say. Would they speculate? Sometimes, the fun part of being a celebrity is to keep people guessing, and play around a little. 

"Tao, the company car is here. You have to go." Hearing my manager's footsteps slowly approaching my room, I locked my phone immediately. It wouldn't be good for him to know that I'm in contact with Kris. My manager walked in, and helped me on the wheelchair, and wheeled me to the car. The trip to the company was silent. It was during this period of silence that I start to get nervous again. I mean, what if I see all my seniors today? What if I see them again? I don't think that I'm mentally prepared for this. I couldn't run too. I was wheelchair bounded! Before I could get even more worried, the car stopped in front of the building.

I sighed, as I put on a pair of shades. As usual, there was a horde of fans waiting outside the company. These fans wait outside the company in hopes of catching a glimpse of any idol entering the company. My manager left the car first, and helped me on my wheelchair. The fans start muttering among themselves. Some even reached to touch me. My manager glared at them, and yelled, "Don't touch him! He's injured." He hurriedly wheels me inside the company.

"Tao, I have some paperwork to handle. Can you go to the studio yourself? It's at the fourth floor, room three." He passed me a set of keys. "The company will send someone up later to brief you on your job scope. Give me a call once you're done and I'll get the driver to pick you up." With that, he walked away. Great, I'm now alone. I bet my manager didn't even have any paperwork to handle. He was probably going to make a daily report about me to the superiors or something. I was praying extremely hard that I would not bump into anyone. I slowly wheeled myself to the lift, keeping myself busy with my phone.  

Ding

The lift doors open. I sighed in relief when I saw no one inside. Slowly, I wheeled myself into the lift. I did not want to go to the fourth floor at all. It was where the recording studios were held (where I'll be working for now, I assume), and where the practice rooms were held (gosh, I hope I don't bump into anyone familiar). I groaned when I left the lift, as I immediately heard people talking. There was no way I could sneak pass them, because I was on my wheelchair. I decided to just brave it, and hopefully those people were not anyone familiar. From the dark vision I was given because of my sunglasses, I noted that three boys were walking towards the lift. If I was not wrong, they belonged to the rookies. What admirable dreams. I used to have them. To debut in a group, and become popular with them. Things just changed, I guess. 

Secretly, I cursed under my breath, It was all my stylist's fault for giving me such an attention grabbing hair colour. Those boys stopped talking among themselves and started to stare at me. I felt a little uncomfortable. "Excuse me..." I muttered under my breath, as the boys parted like the red sea to let me pass. They were still gaping at me. I was starting to feel annoyed. "You won't debut if you don't work hard. Stop staring and focus your attention somewhere else." I admitted that I was being overly harsh, but can't they just give me a break? Gosh, I didn't come back just to become a zoological display! They stiffened, but stopped staring and walked away. 

I stopped right outside a door with a '4' indicated outside. With the key my manager gave me, I unlocked the door. I was greeted by darkness. I strained myself as I fumbled around for the light switch. I was given a fully equipped studio, with a keyboard, piano and other technological devices needed to make music. I was really excited. I snapped a picture and attached it to the message I was typing to send to Yifan.

To : Yifan-ge

Back to the company, but they gave me a nice studio! I'll work hard today and make good songs. All the best for today, ge! 

I immediately started to familiarise myself with the equipment available. A note was on the table, which took me a great while to decipher as my Korean was not that good to begin with. It was written that I was to make songs everyday, and compose a debut song for a new group that will be debuting soon. I lean back on my wheelchair. Hm... To write a song, first I must have an inspiration. At this moment, I felt like writing a ballad. I was sieving through my memories, and thinking what I should write. My mind drifted off to Kris. His perfect smile, perfect laugh, perfect everything... He is my muse. I felt as if I was almost possessed, and my fingers started to get to work on the piano before me. 

19 Years Old 

Haven’t been in contact for a long while

Living all alone

Everytime I write a song, I think about my life experiences. My fingers dashed across the piano keys, and I started making this beautiful melody.

Faking strength on the surface

But the heart’s already been cut to pieces