My hands itched to turn on my phone, but I controlled myself. I did not want to see all the news articles flooding in. Hate from others is the one last thing I want to deal with at this point in time, when I already hate myself enough. "Tao, the press conference will be held in three days." My new manager told me gruffly as he looked up from his mobile phone. 

"Your blond hair needs some touch up. I have no idea how your old stylist could stand seeing you with such dry skin!" The female stylist gasped in horror. "We have to bring you to the salon right now before the press conference." The female stylist immediately directs the driver to the salon affiliated with SM. I felt so tired that I didn't even to fight back or disagree. I just nodded, and closed my eyes to take a small nap. 

I was nudged awake by someone tapping me, and putting my sunglasses on for me. "We are here, Tao. I have checked the premises of the salon, and no one is in there. You don't have to worry about meeting anyone." Groggily, I try to get out of the car. I nearly stumbled, but my manager hoisted me up and placed me on my wheelchair. A part of me was in disbelief. I was injured, and so tired, yet the only thing they worried about was my external appearance. I was wheeled into the familiar salon. The last time I came here was for the purpose of dying my hair blond for the Call Me Baby promotions. 

"Hm.. Should we go for a pop of colour and change his hair colour? Or should we just touch up the roots?" My stylist was conversing with the hairdresser. "We can't really have you look too flashy, so maybe we'll go back to dark red? Or black?" My stylist was thinking hard to herself. The hairdresser suggested that from the yellow blond hair I currently have, I should dye it to an ice white colour. My stylist agreed, and I hissed when the hairdresser drenched my locks with a pungent smelling chemical. A few hours passed before I spotted a new hair colour, and was wheeled into the next room to do my skincare routine. 

Even though I felt comfortable, and was pampered during the facial, I can't help but think that I was being moulded back into another one of those money making machines. But then again, I'll be working as a music producer first. I don't have to face huge crowds just yet, and all I have to do now is to endure and look good for the press conference. Of course I'm tired, but I cannot let down those who invested so much in me. I left the salon feeling weary and tired on the inside, but looking more charming and well groomed. Wherever I go, there is always a huge crowd. They consist of the paparazzi, haters and my fans. I kept my head down as my manager shoved at the crowded while wheeling me. I hope this dies down soon. I don't want to live like this. To be cornered and pushed against the wall. To the point when I couldn't even breathe. 

The entire car ride was a blur, with my stylist rambling to my publicist. My publicist wanted a photoshoot to try to improve my reputation. That's what she said, but it was evident that the company wanted this photoshoot done to show that I'm on good terms with the company, and that the company is treating me well. My manager bypassed the fans waiting outside the hospital, and immediately wheeled me back to my ward. It was peaceful and quiet in my ward. The peace and quiet was not for long before a few other people of my crew came in with snacks, wearing this obnoxiously loud pink shirt, and congratulating me on joining back the company. I was silent and nearly felt like throwing up because of their pretentious fake smiles. I kindly asked my manager to get them to leave to allow me some rest. My manager denied me of that, but eventually relented when he saw me trying to keep myself awake.

I was then left alone in peace for around an hour. The door opens once again. Except this time it was pretty quiet. I was steeling myself for loud visitors, but this time, there was only one person who came in. "Zitao!" I jolt, and I stopped feeling sleepy when I saw the visitor.

"Lu-ge!" It was Luhan. He was wearing denim jeans and a simple black shirt. He had a snapback and a mask on. "How did you even get in here?" 

"Yixing helped. You weren't responding to my messages, and I got worried. What happened, Zitao?" He moved to sit on the chair beside the bed. 

"I don't know, Lu-ge. I don't know if I made the right decision." I rubbed my face with my sleeve harshly, feeling a small sense of triumph at thinking about how my stylist will feel if she found out that I was treating my delicate skin in this way. "They were offering me things that I never thought they could bring themselves to. The management really looked like it was changing. Also, the scent I encountered when I entered the building, Lu-ge. Suho-hyung.. He had them keep the citrus air fresheners. Somehow I really miss them so much, and though this doesn't make sense, I felt so at home when I went in."

"Zitao.." Luhan took off his mask. "Our innocent baby.. I really hope this works out for you. I think Yifan is going crazy. He thinks you're doing something really stupid, and well... He's pretty mad at you." Luhan bit his lip in hesitance. "He doesn't understand why you'll do it. I'm glad Yixing will be there to protect you. He promised that he will try his best to shield and defend you." 

What have I done...? Things has just got so much messier. Turning on my phone, I see my social media being spammed by so many different messages. Many International fans expressed happiness, and they hoped that Luhan and Kris would follow suit. Many also expressed their worry. However, despite my rusty Korean, I could still make out those hateful and vulgar messages hurled at me by local fans. At least this time, things will be better, right...?

A/N : Sorry for the slow progression. This fic is pretty slow building, but the plot will pick up soon enough. Thanks for reading!