Jackson washes his face with cold water, trying to wipe away the redness of his eyes. He smiles a bit in the mirror, trying to place the grin everyone knows back. It’s kind of hard to listen to your brain when your heart is telling you to do cry your eyes out.

He decided that should spend a day home, thinking about things and trying to clean his soul and his brain as well.

Jackson asked Jaebum to let him rest for the day because he isn’t feeling well. Mark tried to question him, but the other eventually dragged him away.

Now, staying alone in their room, his world comes crashing down. There are so many things that don’t much. There are a million things that Jackson thinks of at once, and he can’t find any illuminating to his thoughts.

He listened to his brother version, but maybe somewhere in there, his brother exaggerating about Mark. True, Jackson doesn’t know Mark as Jayden knows him, but from what Jackson had seen, Mark is a very beautiful person from the inside out. He can’t just accept what his brother told him. Ok, Mark maybe liked Jayden before, but Mark isn’t the type of person who will lean Jackson on as a replacement for his brother.

So what if Mark loves Jayden a long time ago, now he likes Jackson. No, Mark won’t just like Jackson because of his looks, right?

Jackson takes his pillow from under his head and places it on his face, letting out a scream. He kicks his feet on the bed and stands up. He can’t live like that. There are a lot of missing puzzles that Jackson needs to find out.

When the members came from practice that evening, Mark came running through the door with a bag in his hands. “Jackson, are you better? I would have come earlier but the other didn’t let me.” Mark says in a rush, placing his palm over Jackson’s forehead. “You don’t have a fever.”

Jackson watches the older eyes concerning about him, and something inside him snaps. “What do you think about Jayden?”

Mark looks confused at the beginning but recovers fast, he takes a seat beside Jackson on the bed and hands him the bag. “I bought you something to eat.”

Jackson takes the bag from Mark and unpacks it slowly, trying to maintain his tears. It’s hard to be so close to Mark and knowing that he maybe doesn’t have the feeling for him as Jackson trough. It’s so painful, but so sweet as well. Jackson and conflicted feelings right now. He troughs that he cleared his head, but in the end, he realized that it’s more complicated than this.

“You want to know my opinion about Jayden?” Mark asks.

Jackson's head snaps to look at Mark, and what he sees there isn’t what he expected. He expected to see fear or maybe nonchalantly, but instead he seems concern.

“Jayden is a good boy,” Mark says taking a sandwich from the bag Jackson unpacked and places it in the younger hands. “He loves what he does and when he loves he does it too intense. Jayden gets hurt very easily; you have to be careful what you say to him or how you say it.”

“He is a soft heart even if he tries to act macho.” Jackson laughs between his bites.

“Yes, we become best friends because we did understand each other very well; we both went away from home with a dream, we both were homesick and most important I always could talk to him about everything.”

Jackson listens as Mark says all those good things about his brother, but he doesn’t feel jealous. He can read the fondness in Mark’s voice; it’s the same as Jackson will talk about Mino. It’s strange and comforting.

“But you don’t get along,”

“Yah, because I-“ Mark stops at there. Jackson wonders if this is it and Mark will tell him everything. The older is looking somewhere on the wall, you can clearly see a debating on his eyes now. “I don’t know if I should tell you this.”

Jackson prepared for this morning since morning. He wanted to confront Mark, he wanted to demand answers, but now, he just stays small and hoped that Mark won’t tell him what he doesn’t want to hear.

It’s so scary of how in this time Jackson managed to fall for Mark so hard, but again, love doesn’t ask you what you want, but it’s still terrifying.

“Jayden will always be special to me, even if he stopped to acknowledge me.”

“He is ignoring you, isn’t the other way around?” Jackson asks with his mouth full of food. Jayden told him that Mark stopped to talk to him. Who should he believe then?

“Look, I trust you,” Mark takes a deep breath and finally he turns to look at Ja