Ch 26(ii) – Warm But Choppy Winds

Another day, another Pure Love stage greeting. This morning, Kyungsoo is feeling particularly grouchy while in the make-up chair but he tries not to let his foul mood show while the staff member does her best to conceal his undereye circles. “Late night?” she asks genially.

“Not exactly.” He was actually back in the dorm and in bed before midnight, even though he’d gone out to dinner and drinks with his actor friends. The real culprit for his current state was the sleep he hadn’t gotten while replaying the scene in that dessert shop over and over in his mind, starting with Krystal’s unguarded laugh. How Jongin had reciprocated the girl’s ice cream assault with his own so naturally. How they teased and flirted in the same manner. How well-suited they looked together. Kyungsoo shakes his head in an attempt to clear it. Thoughts and feelings tumble violently in his mind, bruising his insides and making himself sore, physically and emotionally. “Sorry I need so much work done,” he says with an apologetic frown to the makeup artist.

“Don’t worry about it. Do you want to keep your glasses again today? They’re better for your tired eyes, you know, and might help reflect light away, too.” Daintly, she slides them on his face and smooths the frames along the side of his head, letting her fingernails graze his shaved sides. “Plus, you look super cute in them,” she whispers with a cheeky wink.

“Ah, yeah, I’ll wear the glasses again,” he replies with a light flush. She probably interprets the pink dusting on his cheeks to shyness when in actuality, the singer just feels second-hand embarrassment for her. ‘Poor thing has no idea she’s barking up the wrong tree… I wonder how often Jongin’s coordi noonas hit on him… STOP IT.’ Kyungsoo rubs his temples with his fingertips as he tries to quit torturing himself. ‘What Jongin does in his free time is none of your business anymore,’ he reminds himself forlornly.

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The next few weeks pass by quietly. While Kyungsoo isn’t actively avoiding the dancer, he certainly hasn’t seen him much in between his acting schedules. Perhaps Jongin is avoiding him. Or maybe he’s being too self-centered: perhaps Jongin is just busy with friends. Or girlfriends. Or whatever. In the dark of night when he can’t sleep due to all the questions running through his head, Kyungsoo keeps making meals and storing them in individual-sized servings. He’s actually had to buy more storage containers recently; the members are all so busy with individual schedules that few are home during the day to consume as much as he’s producing.

Early one morning when he’s overslept his 6am alarm, he startles at seeing Jongin in the kitchen, uncharacteristically awake before sunrise. The dancer nods his head in greeting while yawning and leaning on the counter in front of the microwave as it whirs. “Hey,” Jongin rasps out with a scratchy morning voice. He’s still in pajama pants and bare-chested, his typical ‘just-rolled-out-of-bed appearance’ threatening the singer’s sanity. Kyungsoo chokes out a “Good morning” and moves to toward the foyer to find his shoes right as the microwave beeps off.

“Eat your breakfast first,” Jongin calls from the kitchen, extending the bowl of kimchi spaghetti he’d just finished reheating.

Kyungsoo stills, surprised, and looks up at him. “I don’t usually eat these days before my early morning appointments,” he says, hesitantly, making no move to take the bowl. “Never enough time.”

“I’ve noticed. I think it’s pretty weird you cook all this food yet you never eat it,” Jongin replies with an eyebrow raised in challenge.

Kyungsoo swallows, knowing that directly denying his food prep habits would be more suspicious than just admitting them. “I’m just stress cooking lately. I-I don’t care who eats it,” he lies.

“Sure you don’t,” the younger replies with a disbelieving face as he pulls the bowl back, now convinced the elder won’t accept it. Jongin takes a big bite, slurping the noodles into his mouth and savoring it with a light hum while looking him dead in the eye. Like he’s totally calling the older out on his bull, yet openly indulging him at the same time.

“I gotta go. Have a good day,” Kyungsoo whirls around and rushes out the door to prevent Jongin from seeing his reaction. He can’t help the smile that blooms on his face as he rushes down to the garage for the van that’s waiting for him.

“You’re in a good mood this morning. That’s a nice change,” Jaehyuk greets him as he settles in and buckles up.

The singer hums in agreement. “He’s eating the food I’ve been making,” he blurts out.

Jaehyuk snorts and Kyungsoo thinks he spots an amused eyeroll. “Well, it’s good to take pleasure in the little things, I guess,” he says with a sincere smile at him through the rearview mirror.

Kyungsoo doesn’t expect the manager to understand, leaning against the window with a contented grin and enjoying the sun starting to peek over the horizon. ‘He’s letting me love him in the limited way I can…’

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After their early morning conversation in the kitchen, Jongin starts making occasional efforts to interact with him again, catching Kyungsoo off-guard. During their concert in Malaysia, D.O. feels someone sneak attack and tickle him during “3.6.5.” Convinced it’s Chanyeol, he blindly turns to punch the giant only to discover a giggling Kai running away (though not fast enough to dodge the hit). ‘Whoops,’ the singer feels a small twinge of guilt before shoving it aside, reminding himself that publicly, he shouldn’t treat Kai all that differently than he does the other members, and goodness knows he’d punch any one of them for such a move.

But such rationales still don’t sit right with his heart. Later, he jogs to catch up with Kai and gets in a gentle ‘revenge tickle’ that he hopes, in some stupid way, conveys his apology for being rougher than usual with the dancer.

Perhaps emboldened by the positive interaction, Jongin approaches him later backstage. “Hey, can you check out my shoulder for me?” the dancer asks with a pained expression, rolling his arm in the socket gingerly.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo frowns in concern and takes hold of the arm gently as the younger carefully s his shirt and slides the sleeve off his shoulder, exposing the golden mocha skin of his neck, shoulder, and a bit of his chest if the older looks at the right angle. (He tries not to, he really does.) Kyungsoo gulps as he inspects the area. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know, I’m worried about a nasty bruise. See, some feisty elf overreacted to a simple tickle and punched the out of me,” Jongin says dramatically before cracking a huge grin.

Kyungsoo’s jaw drops open as his eyes flare. “You are shameless, Kim Jongin. I should hit you again for this,” he threatens, hand moving on its own accord to pinch the sensitive skin near the taller’s hip and causing the boy to squeak in response to the ticklish gesture. Rather than jumping away, though, the dancer ends up turning into the intimate touch and bumps against Kyunsoo’s chest as he folds in half with a laugh. The elder catches him around the shoulders with the hand that’s not still lingering on his hip, and keeps the dancer from falling to floor. Jongin looks up at him with the most endearing eye smile, and Kyungsoo feels the corners of his mouth tug upward as he drinks in Jongin’s gorgeous face and dazzling smile.

Jaehyuk materializes by their sides suddenly and interrupts in a severe tone. “Kyungsoo, can I have a word with you.”

Like he’s been poked with a hot iron, the singer quickly lifts the dancer back upright and releases him from his arms. Obviously annoyed, Jongin glares at the manager. “Don’t you have anything better to do with your time right now, like, I don’t know, your actual job, or is babysitting Soo now the number one bullet point in your job description?”

Before Jaehyuk can retort, one of the stagehands pops into the room and asks for clarification on which props are supposed to be packed up with the travel team and which are to be disposed of on site. “Watch it, Jongin,” the manager grumbles before turning to go help sort out the confusion with the stagehand. Kyungsoo doesn’t miss the disgruntled look Jaehyuk throws his way before leaving the room.

As Jongin mutters something unflattering at Jaehyuk’s retreating figure, Kyungsoo suddenly feels awful for the manager who’s been his only confidant in this whole mess. And guilty, for letting things continue to get to the point where Jaehyuk has to step in and meddle. Feeling obligated to speak up, the singer addresses Jongin calmly. “Hey, leave Jaehyuk alone, alright? He’s not a bad guy.”

“Sure he’s not,” comes the sarcastic response.

Kyungsoo tries again, firmly. “No really. You don’t understand.”

“How CAN I when you won’t tell me what’s going on?”Jongin accuses, getting heated but trying to calm back down. He speaks in hushed broken thoughts. “One minute, it’s like… but then he pops up and—”

Stunned, Kyungsoo’s not sure what to say but he never gets a chance, anyway.

“Gather in guys!” Junmyeon summons the members for a concert debrief. With an irritated sigh, the dancer walks away first, leaving the older chastising himself again for being weak and showing Jongin too much of his true colors. Having proven that his heart can’t be trusted to hold back anymore, Kyungsoo vows to slide back into the shadows and stop confusing the poor boy. It’s a shame he’s such a crappy actor when it counts.

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The Exo’luxion tour is finally over. Approaching a period of relative freedom from their usually hectic schedules, most of the members are lounging in the dorm, swapping plans for the next two weeks. “Wait a minute – what’s this?” Baekhyun commands everyone’s attention with that familiar mischievous lilt in his voice. “New rumors surface about EXO’s Kai and f(x)’s Krystal: they’re dating and have even adopted a cat together!”

Minseok hoots and climbs over the back of the couch to read the webpage Baek’s pulled up. Kyungsoo tries to keep his breathing steady and opts to clean up the dinner table rather than join the commotion. He turns his back to the common room as he flits back and forth in the open concept kitchen, keeping his pained face concealed from view.

Chanyeol scoffs in the common room. “That’s dumb. They’re just friends,” Kyungsoo overhears the giant dismiss the gossip.

“Well let’s ask him. Oh, JONGIN!” yells Jongdae in the direction of their shared bedroom.

“I think our roomie has already slipped out,” Junmyeon says, emerging from the room alone.

“Where’d he go?” asks Minseok.

Sehun shifts on the floor to avoid the newcomers in the room as he plays on his phone. “He told me he was meeting up with Krystal tonight,” he says disinterestedly. “OUCH! What the , Yeol, why’d you kick—“

“Let’s go out tonight, Sehun. We never go out,” Chanyeol declares.

“We ALWAYS go out, what are you talking about,” the maknae replies flatly.

“Yeah, but not with Kyungsoo. Soo! Join us! We know you don’t have any work stuff to do, so no excuses,” the giant says with a goofy grin, leaning his head around the wall to make eye contact with the singer in the kitchen.

“I-I don’t know, Yeol. I was thinking about turning in early,” he says lamely. ‘Because goodness knows you need those extra hours of not sleeping, wrestl