Ch 16 – High Winds at Night

Immediately following Ch 15:

Jongin and Kyungsoo end up avoiding each other during the SMTOWN concerts in Japan. The one night they could have tried to steal away alone, they spend going out to dinner as a big group with the other members. Everyone is eager to catch up with Kyungsoo, swarming around him and fighting over sitting next to him. Jongin doesn’t bother entering the fray, still upset from their phone call a few days prior. He takes a seat at the other end of the table as Jongdae demands stories from the accomplished “actor” in their midst. Kyungsoo’s eyes immediately flicker to him as the others laugh at the joke; Jongin elects to drink rather than comment. This way, he figures as he chugs the sake, they can’t tell he’s the only who thinks calling Soo an actor instead of a singer isn’t funny.

When they get back to the hotel, Jongin heads straight to the bed he’s been sharing with Sehun, excusing himself from the group by claiming he’s had too much to drink and needs to sleep it off. In reality, he hasn’t had that much but wants to be alone. Though part of Jongin wants to reach out and make amends, part of him remains irritated that Kyungsoo prioritized work and being polite to his colleagues over messaging him like he’d promised. It especially stung because Jongin has been putting Kyungsoo first, just naturally, ahead of his relationships with people he’d known for years and years; yet, here, complete strangers easily trumped commitments the singer had made to him. Did Kyungsoo just not care about him as much as he cared about the older?

The younger boy knows he went too far in his accusations against Kyungsoo regarding leaving EXO, but he is still hung up on how the other boy cut into him, too, about the future. ‘He’s right, though: you are projecting your fears on him a bit. You’re worried about what’s going to happen after EXO and need to face reality there,’ his inner voice states plainly. Truth hurts, especially when delivered in such an insensitive fashion from the person he admires most.

‘I’m not good at variety, I’m probably not a good enough singer to go solo, my acting opportunities are going to be limited… modeling’s probably my one shot,’ he thinks with a sigh. ‘I’ve got to get more serious about it once I get back to Seoul…’ he considers as he drifts off to sleep.

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“I’m going to check on Jongin and make sure he’s alright,” Kyungsoo excuses himself from the living area and heads into the nearby bedroom. He’s not sure what he expected to happen when he landed in Tokyo; he figured he and Jongin would be a bit awkward at first but end up patching things up relatively quickly. He definitely didn’t think they’d go this whole day without speaking.

He sighs and runs his hand agitatedly through his hair. ‘You never have been good at saying ‘I’m sorry,’ but just go do it!’ he yells at himself. Kyungsoo knows he screwed up by not keeping his promise to call or text, even if he gets zero bars out in Goheung. Jongin was right, he should’ve at least texted in the van on his way to or from the city center those other times. Taking a deep breath, he opens the bedroom door and spots Jongin passed out on the bed. He curses at himself, knowing that it could have been THEIR bed to share if he’d traveled with the group and landed at the same time. Switching beds now would be super suspicious (not that Jongin was interested in being anywhere near him at the moment). Maybe the younger did have good reason to be upset with him flying in on his own…

Kyungsoo approaches the sleeping boy quietly to avoid disturbing him. He checks and doesn’t see a trashcan nearby, so he fetches one to put by his bedside just in case he needs it in the middle of the night. Crouching by the bed, he reaches out and rests a palm on the dancer’s forehead, feeling for any sign of fever. Relieved that his temperature seems normal, he starts to carefully trace Jongin’s handsome features, from his eyebrow arches to his strong jaw. The boy stays passed out, breathing softly and steadily, so Kyungsoo elects to just whisper to him and hope it somehow sinks into his subconscious. “I’m sorry I didn’t keep my promise… You shouldn’t drink too much, Nini. Take care of yourself… I wish I was around to do it for you right now. It’s just another month, and then I’ll be back again and seeing you every day. You know how much you mean to me, don’t you?”

The sound of the door creaking open causes him to jerk his hand away and sit further back on his heels. Sehun enters the room and nods at Kyungsoo. “Hey, how’s our friend doing there?”

“Fine, sleeping hard and dead to the world it seems,” he replies, rising to his feet. “I’ll get out of here so you can rest, too. See you in the morning, Sehun.”

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The next night after the concert, Kyungsoo has to go straight to the airport to get back to the Pure Love shoot. He says his goodbyes to the members but dawdles for a moment looking at Jongin with melancholy eyes, not sure what to say. He opens his arms wide to him, instead, and prays the younger boy will accept it. The dancer approaches and reciprocates the hug, firmer than he normally would, lingering longer than is necessary with his fingertips clinging to the older boy’s back as he slowly draws away. While it’s not a full reconciliation, the older hopes it’s a start to patching things up.

“I’ll do my best to call you while I’m there. I’ll make a special trip to the city one night if I have to,” Kyungsoo says with his beautiful wide orbs full of concern.

“Okay, and if not, I know you’ll be there for our next concert in Beijing in two weeks.” Jongin’s choosing his words carefully since there are others around, but Kyungsoo can feel the trust he’s trying to put into those words, that he really believes in the older boy. “I already know you’re flying in separately – and I understand. See you then, hyung.”

There’s hesitancy on both sides as Kyungsoo walks away to the van. He wishes he had more time to truly make-up with the other, but he takes heart that at least it seems like they’re on a path to recovery.

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Back in Seoul, Jongin gets to work quickly looking for modeling opportunities. He ends up calling Krystal to see how she’s had some of her endorsements set up.

“You know, it’s funny you should call about that right now. I’m supposed to be doing a shoot for W Korea magazine next week, and I think they’re looking for some male models to do it with me.”

“Really? Do you think they’d consider me?”

“Duh, of course they would. You’re Kai from EXO; they’d probably trip over themselves trying to secure you. You need to have more confidence. I’ve seen your work: you’re a stellar model.”

Jongin blushes on the other end of the line. “Thanks… wait what do you mean, ‘you’ve seen my work?’ Are you stalking me online? Are you a secret fan?” he jokes.

“It’s not stalking to watch out for people you care about and support them. And I’m not a secret fan, I’m an open one,” she replies matter-of-factly, but her voice trails off a little at the end, making her sound a little less confident and more… shy than Jongin’s used to hearing from her.

“O-Okay. Well thanks. Who should I contact over there?”

“Just have your manager do it. That’s typically how these things work.”

“No,” Jongin insists. “I want to be actively involved in managing my solo work. I need to learn the ins and outs of the process so I can make good decisions later on, too. I’d like to contact them first, then bring Jaehyuk in to help me manage the contract and stuff. Unless that’s too weird.”

“Aww, look at you, growing up and taking control of your future.” He’d be peeved by the condescension from Krystal except that her tone carries a very real amount of admiration mixed in with her teasing. And so he just laughs easily instead, knowing that this is just Krystal’s manner of praising without making it awkward.

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Jongin can’t believe his luck as he’s on set the next week with Krystal and Taemin to do the photoshoot. It’s like a reunion of sorts, since the three friends hadn’t spent time alone together in years. As they’re getting ready in hair and make-up, Jongin scowls, checking his phone and not finding any new messages. Yesterday, the older boy had made good on his promise to call, but Jongin’s phone was dead, so he only had a short voicemail that Kyungsoo had recorded before the call had been dropped on his end due to high winds interfering with the connection.

“Hey, I miss you so much,” the older boy said. “I think about how much you’d like the water here and being out on the boat. Maybe when we finally get a break we can—“ Jongin had replayed the message several times, soaking up the deep, dulcet voice and his caring words. He then texted back but has no way of knowing if it’d been received. He’s hoping he’d have gotten something back by now.

“What’s with the mopey face while checking your phone every few minutes?” Taemin asks from a neighboring make-up chair.

“Oh, just seeing if Kyungsoo had messaged me back. He’s filming out in Jeollado, and reception is crap. He’s only contacted me twice since he moved out there weeks ago.” He can’t help the pout that slips out.

Krystal laughs at him from her chair where two women are curling her hair. “Good for him! I heard about that and think it’s awesome he’s doing a lead role already. Listen to you whine, though. Like you have any room to complain about friends not calling: you didn’t call either one of us for weeks on end for quite a while, and you were in Seoul the whole time.”

“Yeah, how can you be so put out when you’ve done worse to us?” pipes up Taemin. “And if you’re like this with friends not staying in close contact, can you imagine how needy you’d be as a boyfriend? You sound so surly, you’d think it’s your girlfriend who’s out of town giving you the cold shoulder.” He chuckles at his own joke, but Krystal doesn’t laugh, shooting Jongin a serious look and gauging his reaction.

Taemin’s dig shouldn’t get to him, but Jongin can’t help it: he’s angry and upset. Angry that he can’t retort since his relationship is a secret, and upset because the comment validates his annoyance that his boyfriend really should be contacting him more. He swallows it down and tries to change the topic. “Whatever, I’m here now with you guys, right? So let’s make the most of today. I have missed you, even if I’ve at keeping in touch in recent months.”

Krystal’s hair is finished, and she gets out of her chair to come stand behind Jongin’s, resting her hands on his shoulders. “Agreed. Let’s shoot the best damn photospread they’ve ever had,” she says with a smile. Taemin gets summoned to wardrobe and bounds off cheering “bring it on!”

When he’s gone, Krystal leans down to speak quietly in Jongin’s ear. “Don’t let him bother you. I know you’re just really loyal, and I think it’s really sweet that you care so much. And… any girl would be crazy lucky to have you as a needy boyfriend.” Her final words come out in a rush and then she’s gone to wardrobe before Jongin can react.

‘What… what was that.’ If she’d used her typical haughty or detached tone, he wouldn’t think too much of her words, but Krystal actually sounded… vulnerable. And was she blushing as she left or was that just her make-up? He’s so confused, and he needs time to process this but now he’s getting called to wardrobe, too.

After he’s dressed in his first outfit, he’s waiting with Taemin while Krystal has some individual shots taken. He can’t help himself: he needs Taemin’s help to figure this out.

“Hey, Tae. Has Krystal been any different around you lately?”

“Hmm? Different how?”

Jongin tries to put his finger on what’s different, with last week’s phone call and the odd dressing room behavior. “Um, I don’t know. Like, more willing to compliment you openly?”

Taemin huffs with amusement. “Ha! Definitely not. I think I’ve gotten maybe two words of praise from her, both said with heavy sarcasm, thrown my way in the past year. But you on the other hand… I will say that she’s had nothing but nice things to say about you whenever I talk to her.”

“What, really?” Jongin’s surprise