Ch 24 – Volatile Evening Weather

(immediately following Ch 23)

“You promised me once that you’d never give me another friendly kiss.”

“I know,” he says as he leans in…

When Jongin’s lips brush against Krystal’s, it’s feather light before he gathers the courage to actually press them all the way together. She responds in turn, gently leaning into the chaste kiss which lasts only a few seconds.

Jongin catches a whiff of her lilac perfume as he slowly pulls back, keeping his eyes closed for the moment. The feeling that lingers on his lips is like… like everything he associates with Krystal. Warm. Safe. Easy. There’s no urgency, no sudden loss of control, no fireworks. But it’s still pleasant, and when he opens his eyes to see hers alive with adoration, Jongin can’t help but return her smile.

“You’re leaving for Japan tomorrow?” he asks softly as he straightens up but keeps his hand on her nape, gently her hair.

Krystal nods, blushing a little at the continued contact. Jongin slowly withdraws his hand before speaking.

“Well, let’s take some time to think about things while you’re gone. Is that okay? Then maybe, if we both want to, maybe we can go back to the restaurant in a couple of weeks when you’re back in town?” He knows he’s stalling right now, but hopes his reasoning appears sound.

“Yeah,” she agrees. She removes his coat to return it to him and starts to go, grabbing his arm when he makes to hop out of the car. “You don’t have to open my door here. You’ve been more than chivalrous,” she says with a grin. As she slides out of the car, she ducks down to say farewell. “I had a good time, Jongin. Thanks for taking me out. And I promise I’ll think about it carefully… but you already know I’d love to go out again.” She drops her gaze as her cheeks heat up. “I’ll text you while I’m away. G’night, Nini.”

He wishes her goodnight in return and watches her scamper away with excited steps, probably not realizing he’s watching. He waits until she disappears into her dorm before throwing his head back against the driver’s seat and staring at the ceiling. It was a classic, textbook date: there was good conversation, he laughed, he genuinely enjoyed her company, as always. Even the kiss was nice, he supposes. Simple, but nice. And yet… he can’t help but compare things with his first date with Kyungsoo. Both dates themselves were wonderful, but at the end of the night, he almost couldn’t bear to let the older boy go. The memory of Kyungsoo’s peach sake in their ardent kiss outside his hotel door makes Jongin’s mouth water involuntarily. Oh, what he wouldn’t give to just drown himself in the singer’s taste again.

‘But that’s not an option,’ a voice coldly reminds him. ‘Kyungsoo is done with you, remember? He’s not interested anymore.’ He needs to let go of that, to consider Krystal on her own merits. Not to mention, his and Kyungsoo’s ‘first date’ was actually years after their first kiss, so maybe it was just going to take some time for him and Krystal to reach a similar chemistry? (‘Yeah,’ he scoffs internally, ‘because chemistry was such a problem the first time you kissed him, when you both couldn’t get your hands or lips off each other for half an hour, only breaking apart because you had to be ON STAGE again.’) Ugh, was he always going to be comparing the two of them? How unfair. Jongin groans, slouching forward on the steering wheel.

‘Maybe this is all a bad idea,’ he muses.

‘Okay, I know what sounds better. Let’s hop in a time machine and go back a few months to where you don’t your boyfriend in front of swarms of photographers, and then higher-ups don’t start mistrusting you, like Soo had warned you would happen, and maybe, just maybe, you can cling onto the boy who likes you a little while longer while you continue to be hopelessly in love with him and maybe try to smother him into submission. All while trying not to detonate your careers, of course. Sound swell? Moron. Too bad, there’s no time machine,’ a sarcastic inner voice spits at him. ‘Or you could be grateful that there's a wonderful girl whom you care about that actually cares about you, too, and move.on.’

He wishes he knew when the aching storm inside will have finally run its course.

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Kyungsoo wants to believe he’s managing alright. Jongin’s been distant off stage, but that’s to be expected still. They’re generally doing okay on stage, but then little things happen that make the singer miserable all over again. It’s almost the end of February now. At their concert in Jakarta, they’re doing their opening greetings when Kai leans in and starts whispering intimately into Suho’s ear. In an instant, Kyungsoo’s transported back to early 2014, when he purposefully let Suho cuddle up to him on a cold, outdoor stage to spark Jongin’s jealousy…

He had been rewarded with a passionate makeout session in the dorm’s bathroom that night. The shower had been to drown out noise and ended up steaming up the whole room. Jongin had so generously started helping Kyungsoo out of his clothes as they attacked each other’s lips, discarding his sweatshirt and tank on the floor in a heap while the older was perched on the sink. He had wrapped his legs around the tall boy and dug his heels into his hips to keep him flushed against him as their tongues hungrily explored each other’s mouths. Jongin’s hands roamed the milky expanse of his back, possessively covering every inch of him with his touch. Who knows what might have happened if Minseok hadn’t knocked on the door and complained loudly, “Hey, who locked it? There’s a ‘no locking the bathroom door’ policy around here! Too many bodies and too few facilities for locks!”

They had broken apart in a flash, Kyungsoo stumbling over to the tub while yelling out, “Sorry, hyung!  I’m in the shower!” He yanked his pants and underwear off in one swift motion to get under the stream of water, quickly getting soaked to match his side of the story. When Jongin failed to speak up, the elder had to pop his head out from behind the curtain and widen his eyes at him, urging him to talk and pointing to the toilet, hoping he’d get the picture.

The younger boy was stopped in his tracks, staring with his mouth open where Kyungsoo’s form had been just a few moments prior, but he finally shook himself out of his trance with the singer’s gesticulating and called back. “My bad, Minseok-hyung – I had to pee and someone was already in the shower, so I figured it was full in here. I’m coming.” He gave Kyungsoo one last look with a big pout and regretful sigh before tearing himself away.

“Good boy,” Kyungsoo had teased, cheekily.

Jongin flushed the toilet in retort, purposefully making the shower water run cold and earning an undignified yelp from the singer in the shower, before unlocking the door and leaving so Minseok could wash up. They never tried to fool around in the dorm bathroom again after that close call…

All of that is a distant memory, Kyungsoo realizes, as he stares forlornly at Kai’s hyper-close contact with their leader. His own jealousy bubbles up as he presses his lips into a hard line, sad that he hasn’t received such fond whispers from Jongin in awhile. ‘Which is for the best,’ he reminds himself. But he still wonders if Jongin would feel that familiar flare of jealousy or not if he saw Kyungsoo being so close with another man.

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Krystal keeps her promise to text while she’s gone, sending Jongin selcas from various Japanese landmarks when they’re sight-seeing. She doesn’t ask about whether or not he’s made up his mind on them going out again, but she does send him some more-than-friendly messages like “I miss you” and “Can’t stop thinking about you every time we see fried chicken.” The attention makes Jongin feel great: He feels needed, and her commitment to talking with him every night even after a busy day is touching. He finds himself always looking forward to her messages and makes sure to respond in a timely fashion. Their back and forth evening text sessions create this virtual, homey atmosphere, where it almost seems like they’re nestled in chairs next to each other in front of a fireplace, sharing the end of their days together over a cup of warm tea. It’s a comforting routine. The whole experience is helping Jongin imagine an actual relationship with the girl; it might not be exciting, but the calming vibe he gets from being with her certainly still holds some appeal. Besides, after so much regular communication, it’d feel wrong to just let it drop at this point, like he’d be leading her on. He decides he’s got to give another date at least a shot.

Jongin
You’re back on the 29th, right?

Krystal
Yep, we get back mid-day, I think.

Jongin
Are you free to go out that night?

Krystal
Absolutely :)
Can’t wait.

He considers talking to Taemin about the whole situation, but decides against it rather quickly. Their mutual friend had been so adamant that Jongin give the girl a shot. ‘All he’s going to say is “It’s about time!” and “Go for it, you’re perfect for each other!”’ Deep down, Jongin knows he doesn’t want to hear such encouragements. Maybe because he’s scared. Maybe because he doesn’t have a good excuse not to follow such advice, but he finds his heart fighting it regardless…

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Sasaengs are camped outside the dorm this evening when Kyungsoo tries to leave, delaying him as he has to wait for other tenants to leave via a less used exit so he can sneak out with them undetected.  By the time he arrives at the appointed restaurant, Jo Insung and Song Joongki are already seated at a private table against the window in the back corner of the room. He bows a full 90 degrees as he approaches them. “I’m sorry if I’m late,” he apologizes.

“Kyungsoo-ah! Don’t be silly. You’re right on time: we just ended up in a cab that was anxious to break as many traffic laws as possible to get us here in record time,” Insung jokes as he pats the seat next to him in the booth. “Come here.”

As the singer slides into the booth, his friend gives him a big hug. “Thanks so much for inviting me, hyung. So good to see you again, Joongki-sunbae.”

“Too many manners. We need to get some alcohol in you so you’ll loosen up,” Joongki says, shaking his finger at him with a bemused smirk on his face. They all laugh as he orders several bottles of Soju for the table.

Kyungsoo has a good time over dinner, listening intently to his sunbaes talk about recent projects and industry rumors. He always tries to make sure he doesn’t interject too much when he’s with his famous actor friends, but they drag a few stories out of him as well.

The meal is winding down when Insung claps him on the back and asks him frankly, “So, D.O, how’s the idol life? You ready to give up the scrunity and ridiculous standards of teenage girls and join the acting ranks full-time yet?” He says it with a wink, but the truth in his words has Kyungsoo sighing with his polite smile.

“No, you know how it is. I’m locked into my contract for a while yet, and I do still love singing. Plus, I’d never leave EXO while we’re still an active group. I couldn’t do that to my members,” he says honestly. ‘Especially not to one particular member who’s always been worried that’s what I’d do…’

“Ahhh, our little Kyungsoo is so loyal and responsible. You’re a man among boys, Kyungsoo-ah,” says Joongki fondly.

“I just don’t know how you live like you do. I mean, certainly, we have our fair share of stalker paparazzi, but it’s nothing compared to what you face. And the possessiveness of your fans! I mean, how do you even date?” Insung asks, genuine curiosity on his face.

Kyungsoo swallows thickly. This is not a topic he’s prepared to discuss, and the hurt from the terrible meetings with the VP starts to bubble up. “Um, you don’t, is the easiest answer, honestly.” He downs the rest of his soju and stares at the label. This one’s got a higher alcohol proof than most others, and he can feel a buzz taking over. Good, he needs it.

“We’ll be your protection squad if you ever need help with that. But you’re young – you don’t have to worry about dating for a few more years anyway. Insung didn’t even have a public relationship until he was 31, ignore him,” ribs Joongki.

Insung throws a napkin at the other actor, chuckling as he checks his phone. “Yeah, but I’ve had plenty more behind the scenes, including my current lady. Oh! I’ve got to run. Kwangsoo and I have plans to meet at a club on the other side of Hongdae. Want to come?” he invites the other two.

“No, I’ve got an early morning meeting. You can go if you want, Kyungsoo. I’ll take care of the bill,” Jooonki says kindly.

“Oh, no I’ll stay and keep you company. Clubs aren’t really my thing.”

“Says the young 20-something who’s a professional singer and dancer. Insung, you might need to re-evaluate your life choices!” Joongki quips.

They all shar