*A/N: Updated 2 days in a row - be sure you've read Ch 11 before starting this one!*

Immediately following Ch 11 (think of it as part 2)…

Luhan’s official announcement that he’s leaving the group comes as less of a shock than Yifan’s was, but Jongin is still feeling messed up over it. The members had all whispered a bit behind closed doors, with Luhan dropping plenty of hints without outright telling them his exact exit plan, but nothing had been totally confirmed until today. Jongin is irritated that they’d tell the members only a few days prior to announcing it publicly, and he’s even more upset that they didn’t wait until they could all be in the same room: Kyungsoo’s at another Cart screening when they drop the news.

Jongin approaches Jaehyuk right after the meeting. “So does Kyungsoo already know?”

“What? Oh, no. I didn’t tell him this morning, figured it wouldn’t be good to send him in to the screening with that weighing on him.”

“Then who’s going to tell him?”

“I hadn’t really thought about it. I’ll do it later tonight, I suppose,” Jaehyuk replies dismissively.

“No, I’ll do it,” sighs Jongin. He doesn’t really want to be the bearer of bad news to Kyungsoo, but he’s not confident Jaehyuk will be sensitive enough in delivering it. Plus, this way maybe he can make it up to Kyungsoo for not sticking around with him during the Yifan news. Yes, this time, he’ll be strong and help the other as opposed to running away, and hopefully he’ll be able to prevent the singer from pulling away like he did last time. Jongin doesn’t think he could handle the older’s absence again…

‘If you’re going to be any use at all, you need to get yourself right first. No dumping your baggage on Kyungsoo,’ he decides. A quick text to Krystal, and half an hour later, they’re back in the Room of Sorrows.

“Don’t get me wrong, I like hanging out with you, but damn do we need to stop meeting under these kinds of circumstances,” jokes Krystal as she pulls him into a hug the moment he walks in.

“I don’t know about you, but I feel like I’m all out of tears for this year. I mean… ING HELL. When are we going to catch a break!?” Jongin returns the hug briefly and then steps back, contemplating. “This room is depressing, and I don’t want to get weepy this time if I can help it. I need… I dunno… I need to scream or something instead.”

“Oh, that I can relate to,” Krystal says with fire flashing in her eyes. Clearly, the news about her sister from last week still has her worked up. Jongin has an “aha” moment and grasps her by the wrist.

“Come on, I’ve got an idea.” Before the girl gets a chance to respond, he’s tugging her out of the room and starting to jog down the corridor toward the stairwell. She catches onto the urgency and hustles to keep up with him. Jongin is taking the stairs two at a time, belatedly realizing that might not be so easy for Krystal to do, but she’s right on his heels, double-timing it up the steps. It feels good to run, each step helping with their anger. Up and up they go, until there are no more stairs to climb. Jongin busts through the exit door and they stumble out onto the rooftop.

He’s breathing heavily, taking in the view. ‘From up here, you can really feel like you’re away from the world,’ he muses. Strong wind whips through his hair as he closes his eyes for a moment and enjoys the autumn sun on his face.

Krystal’s standing next to him, trying to catch her breath. “It’s beautiful,” she says, just loud enough to be heard over the wind, gazing at him with soft eyes.  

He smiles back. “Yeah, it is. But that’s not why we’re here. This place is high enough up that combined with the road noise down below and the wind, I’m pretty sure we’re safe from being overheard... I think it’s time for a big, ugly, primal yell. What do you say?”

She looks at him in disbelief for a moment. “You’re crazy,” Krystal tosses her hair, trying to get the long strands out of her face but to no avail given the swirling winds. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… okay. Let’s do it.”

“On the count of three: one… two… three!” Jongin takes a deep breath, tips his head back, and unleashes the loudest bellow he can muster. Krystal doesn’t disappoint him, squeezing her eyes shut and screeching at the top of her lungs as well. They scream until their breaths run out and they’re both doubled over with their hands on their knees. Jongin pops his eyes open at the same time Krystal is opening hers, and when their eyes meet they both dissolve into fits of laughter.

“That was surprisingly therapeutic,” she says with a smirk.

“You should know by now that my impulses often have great results,” Jongin chides. He sits down and lets his thoughts spill naturally now that he’s opened the flood gates of emotions. “I’m mad that we’re losing another member, but I understand why Luhan wants to leave. I’m worried the critics and the fans will say that EXO’s falling apart when I believe we’re still strong as ever, musically. And I’m sad… I’m really sad that I won’t get to see Luhan, probably ever again. You know the company won’t ever condone it, and sneaking around seems like a bad idea, so I really feel like this is it: I’ll never see Yifan or Luhan again. With Yifan, I didn’t even get to say goodbye. With Luhan… how do you say goodbye to someone knowing it will literally be for forever?” He can’t help the tears that are now forming in his eyes.

“I hadn’t thought about it that way before. I’m lucky, I suppose, because at least Jinri and Jessica are still in SM, so it’s not taboo to be friends with them, and they didn’t leave the country…” Krystal crouches down and huddles close, wrapping an arm around him as she averts her eyes from his falling tears to give him a bit of privacy in his mourning. “You’re going to make it through this, though. You’re so strong, Jongin. I really admire that about you.”

“I don’t feel strong, but thanks,” he replies, wiping his face on his sleeve. A few quiet minutes go by like t