Seungkwan groans. 

WHAT THE DID HE ING THINK 

"As promised, here's your phone" Vernon put the phone table between them, his face is still so gloomy that Seungkwan's insides start panicking "You can leave, you got your phone" Vernon didn't look at him when he said that lifelessly. Just suddenly he miss a little bit on how Vernon's beautiful orbs stare at him.

"Thanks" Seungkwan manage to say without stuttering. He stood up, and walks his way to the door. 

"Bye Boo" 

"You know, I'm free tomorrow we can meet up at the cafe at 9:00 in the morning"

Seungkwan is sure it was not him who said it, because the normal Seungkwan would never initiate absurd things. This is not how Seungkwan should do,he don't do actions without analysing it's consequence. He is not impulsive. Never. Except now.

"Which cafe?"

"You know it!" 

It's 5 minutes before 9, but he doesn't have the energy to bring to even stand up then head to their meeting place. He is all dress and ready to go, but the nervousness he feels is killing him. He don't know how to communicate with Vernon again. He still can't believe Vernon still hasn't give up, after all his rejections, he still see Vernon's cheeky grin greeting him. Before, he even proclaims himself an expert running away from him but now he can't do it. He still at dealing with people who likes him romantically. He dealing with feelings regarding to this. A year without Vernon should have made Seungkwan's defenses stronger, how did it turns out the opposite?

His obnoxious ringtone breaks the silent apartment, he was grinning so much answering hoping that his work would help him escape.

"Hello?"

"Babee~"

Oh boy, how wrong he is.

"Shut up, and how did you get my number?" He grips his hair in frustation, and why does Vernon always figure out how to do things better than him. This is insane. He is insane.

"Babe I know you're smart, figure it out"

"Mingyu?" This one person he is sure Vernon would use to extract this information, of course, he wants to play cupid.

"Its almost 9 don't make yourself too beautiful okay?"

His door bell rings, and he stand up to get it. The annoying teasing voice of his gives back the sassiness Seungkwan have.

"I'm planning not to g-" Getting a phone call is just the start of Vernon's ways to give Seungkwan a heart attack. Vernon is there still holding the phone in his left ear, and that -eating grin he always wears, and looking as handsome as even in simple clothes. (Which of course Seungkwan will never admit)

"Well, that's how my boo looks when he says he is not coming" 

Seungkwan clothes are simple, he wears his botton up polo and ripped jeans. Because he still want to look formal but the same time not, Seungkwan doesn't dwell on much on what he wears actually. Except this time, he wants to prove he is different from before. 

The more he stare at Vernon, the more he don't understand why he still didn't give up. Seungkwan face is nothing compared to Vernon, he is smart and have an overflowing charisma. Vernon have it all, but why do he still roots for Seungkwan who is always behind the scenes? A lot of people are more beautiful than him, even better. It doesn't make sense thus he continues to rejects.

Vernon pursuing him is a big joke, Seungkwan have been trying to avoid. 

The real deal here is, Seungkwan is scared to fall in love. He do not want to experience what other people do, he don't want to get through what Mingyu have gone through. He don't want to be controlled, the skinships even irritates him. He don't want to celebrate monthsary, anniversary or even going to a date. He don't want to get into fights because he forgot to response to a text or return a call, he don't want to meet the other person mandatory because it is what it is. He don't want to get jealous, he don't want to feel anxiety of maybe someone out there would snatch the other person in a snap. He don't want to experience a heartbreak, that he suddenly loss of reason to live, to continue yearning for other person who do not care anymore. He don't want lose his self, his dignity, or sacrifice anything just for the other. Falling in love is scarier than dying.