One night, as per usual, Xiumin was drinking in the kitchen. He stopped going to the bar because he was running out of money. He had to borrow money from s and he started to feel bad. So instead, he had to stop drinking to save up enough to buy his own pack. He had to, but didn't. He once spotted champagne in one of the closets. They usually celebrate events while drinking champagne but, recently there was nothing to celebrate and so, Xiumin thought it'd be a good idea to drink it. But now, he had his own pack that he hid well enough for none of the other members to have suspected it. He always has to wait for all the members to sleep. It usually takes until around 2 in the morning when he's certain. This time, he must have been careless. He was eager to drink. He didn't make sure they were all asleep and it was only 11. He came in, opened the fridge door and instead of his secret way to pull out his drink so that no one sees it, he simply grabbed it and pulled it out. It hit almost everything in the fridge and some of the stuff fell out. He ignored them as he started chugging his bottle. He chugged it quickly, he didn't even breathe. He kept at it until it finished. He threw it and it broke as it hit the floor. He pulled out another bottle. He didn't chug it this time. He couldn't. He simply drank it normally as he went to his usual seat on the table. He set the bottle on the table. He wasn't drunk yet. He started to cry. Firstly, because chugging the entire bottle was hurting him. Secondly, because he wished he didn't have to resort to drinking. He cried until he felt he could drink again. He took a slow sip, worried he might burn his heart. Around an hour later, he heard someone open the door. He heard them. One of them went upstairs. He heard the other one walk towards the kitchen. "Xiumin?" Luhan called as he noticed him. Xiumin was way drunk at this point. "Happy birthday." He casually said. Luhan walked closer and gasped when he saw the bottle. "I thought you stopped drinking!" Xiumin was staring at him. Luhan worriedly returned his gaze. "Are you drunk?" Xiumin smirked, a sign to let him know he was right. "Did you have fun?" He wondered. "Yeah..." Luhan decided to answer. Xiumin's expression looked worst and Luhan thought he might have picked the wrong option. "Are you okay, Xiumin?" Luhan tried to console. "No." Xiumin said, straightforward. "I'm horrible. I'm always horrible!" He yelled and then became quiet. "Um, how come it's different?" Luhan wondered. Xiumin looked up at him. "I mean, you're more depressing than the last time you were drunk." Luhan clarified. Xiumin dryly scoffed. "I wasn't drunk last time, I was lying." Luhan widened his eyes. "Why are you drinking in the first place?" Luhan asked. Xiumin didn't answer him. He stared at his bottle wondering when he'll be able to take the next sip. "Yah, you're not hurt are you?" Luhan asked him. Xiumin didn't answer; he was mentally stopping himself from grabbing the bottle. "Minseok." That's when Xiumin grabbed the bottle and began drinking it, without any thought of stopping. "Stop!" Luhan tried to yell. When that didn't work, he grabbed Xiumin's hand and tried to stop him. He kept on pulling it, determined to stop him. Xiumin was also pulling as hard as he can. Luhan finally let go, when he saw tears forming in Xiumin's eyes. Xiumin took one look at Luhan before going back to drinking. That look lasted a second but felt like a minute. It was long and piercing, it was as if Xiumin sent Luhan a message through that stare. Once he was finished with the drink, he threw it aside, and it broke. He got up, staring into Luhan's eyes, and walked up to him. Luhan had the same worried, nervous look on him the whole time. "It's...not because of me, is it?" Luhan nervously wondered. Xiumin glared at him. "It's always because of you." Luhan widened his eyes. "W-what do you mean?" Xiumin looked into Luhan's beautiful eyes for a full minute before shifting his gaze unto the boy's lips. He stared at them and was almost content until he saw them quiver. He couldn't help himself; he forced his lips onto Luhan's. Luhan widened his eyes as wide as they go. Xiumin pressed harder, putting his hands on Luhan's shoulders. Luhan finally pushed him off and started breathing heavily. "W-what are you d-doing...?" He asked with a shaky voice. Xiumin his lips. "You tasted better than I thought..." Xiumin said, creeping Luhan out even more. "Oh, Luhan. You must be stupid if you didn't realize this before." Xiumin told him. "R-realize w-what...?" Luhan asked, his body shaking from fear. Xiumin rolled his eyes. "Really? Even after I kissed you, you're still oblivious?" Xiumin scoffed. Luhan was becoming visibly paler every minute. "Luhan..." He started, noticing his uneasiness. "I've always loved you." He finally confessed. Luhan fell on the floor as soon as he said that. He was still shaking. "You don't like it." Xiumin pointed out. Luhan didn't say anything; he looked as if he was trying to forget what just happened. Xiumin went over to the fridge to pull out another bottle. Luhan slowly got up and ran away. He ran to the stairs and slowly went up, still slightly shaking. He didn't even think, he just went into his room and prayed Xiumin doesn't follow him. He layed on his bed, still shaken from fear. He let Kris' familiar snores calm him down. After a while of being in a situation he's used to, he fell asleep.

Luhan woke up and the first thing he did was check if Xiumin was in his bed. Xiumin usually woke up earlier than him so he normally shouldn't be there, but he checked anyway. He sighed when he didn't find him. He got up and went to the bathroom. Luckily, there was no one in there. He got himself ready and went downstairs. He walked as slow as possible to the kitchen, hoping he doesn't run into someone. He peeked in and sighed in relief when he couldn't find him. He entered and cautiously sat down. He was beginning to suspect everyone. “Luhan!” Sehun greeted as soon as he saw him. Luhan gave him a short smile before going back to looking at everyone. “Oh, you two spent the whole day together, right?” Suho asked them. “Uh-huh!” Sehun answered cheerfully. “So what’d you do?” And with that, the main topic became Luhan’s birthday. With time, more members came in to have breakfast. None of them were Xiumin but, that's not who Luhan was waiting for. He purposely took a lot of time to finish his food. Eventually, most of the members were done and Kris and Lay had entered. Kris usually ate quickly so, Luhan just waited for him to finish. Finally, Luhan had who he wanted. Lay. Luhan wanted to speak with Lay. "Can I ask you something?" Luhan whispered suspiciously. Lay looked up curiously. "Are you gay?" He continued to whisper. Lay was a bit shocked at first. "Why, all of a sudden?" He wondered. "Just...please, answer truthfully." Luhan pleaded. "Umm, no. I don't think so. I mean, last time I checked, I was straight." Lay constructed. Luhan sighed for the third time. "Why?" Lay asked him. "...I don't know if I should tell you." Luhan thought for a while. "Okay, I'll tell you." Luhan decided. "Someone who I've trusted for a long time turned out to be gay." Luhan told him as if it was the most shocking thing ever. Lay blinked once because Luhan yelled in his face before he could blink a second time. "For me!" Lay widened his eyes. "Oh..." Luhan nodded seriously. "That's...shocking?" Luhan kept nodding. "Mmhm. What should I do?" He asked. "Well, definitely don't treat him differently." Lay told him. Luhan asked him what he meant and he thought a little. "Since you're weirded out, you're probably going to ignore him and treat him badly, right?" Luhan nodded. "Don't. That's the worst thing you could do." Lay advised him. "But, it's his fault for--" Lay interrupted him. "No, no, it's not. It's not his fault. It's never anyone's fault when someone falls in love." Lay said sternly. "He didn't fall in love. He couldn't have possibly fallen in love. How is it possible?" Luhan wondered. "Luhan, have you ever fallen in love?" Lay asked him. "No." Luhan simply answered. "It's hard. It's never easy. You don't choose who you fall in love with. It just happens so; it's very possible for a guy to fall in love with another guy." Lay told him. Luhan nodded in comprehension until something occurred to him. "How do you know this? Are you in love?" Lay smiled. "But, that means..." Luhan started but Lay shook his head. "I'm not gay, Luhan. I just fell in love with a guy once. I stopped myself though. That love wasn't meant to be so I moved on." Lay told him. "With who?" Luhan asked him, suddenly interested. "I'm not comfortable saying." Luhan nodded in understanding. "Anyway, thanks. That helped a lot." Luhan thanked him and Lay smiled. "I'm still a little weird though; I probably won't talk to him." Luhan admitted. "Spare him a hello and goodbye at least." Luhan nodded. Kyungsoo entered the kitchen. "Are you two done eating?" He asked and Luhan stuffed the last of his food into his mouth and left. "I'm not done." Lay told him. He didn't have to; his plate was still mostly full. Kyungsoo nodded anyway as he started to wash the other dishes. "Ah, I can take care of that." Lay told him. "No, you don't have to." Kyungsoo told him. "No, I want to." Lay said and Kyungsoo gave in. "Alright, if you want." Kyungsoo said as he dried his hands and walked out. A while later, Suho entered the kitchen. "Where's Kyungsoo?" He asked. "He just left." Lay told him. Suho nodded and exited. Lay swallowed and got up. His plate wasn't completely empty but he threw out the remains before he started washing the dishes.

Luhan was kind of happy he didn't know where Xiumin was but he was starting to get concerned. He was probably out, possibly drinking. And it was most likely his fault. Luhan thought of telling him it doesn't change anything and that he wants their friendship to remain but that would be a lie. It does change everything and he knew their friendship would never be the same. He just didn't want Xiumin to be upset on account of him. What did he bring himself into? Why did Xiumin have to go and fall for him? Why did he confess and make things awkward? Luhan still wished that never happened. The talk with Lay changed his perspective a little but, it was still weird for him. Later that night, everyone was asleep and Luhan went to the kitchen. He peeked in and saw Xiumin trying to pull out a bottle out of the fridge. I knew he'd be here... Luhan thought. "Why won't it come out!?" Xiumin whined through gritted teeth. Luhan grabbed the bottle, shocking Xiumin to the point of falling. He took it out with ease. Embarrassed, Xiumin looked away. He looked up and saw Luhan holding it against his chest. "I'm not going to give this to you." Luhan said, aggravating Xiumin. He glared at Luhan as he got up and pulled the bottle his way. Luhan pulled just as hard. "Give it to me!" Xiumin yelled. "No! I won't give it to you!" Luhan yelled back. They struggled until Suho came in. "What's going on here?" He started but then widened his eyes at the scene. "Waa-- are you guys fighting over alcohol?!" He yelled and ran to stop them. "It's Xiumin! He's drinking and I'm stopping him!" Luhan yelled. "Is that true?" Suho asked Xiumin. "No, he's a liar! He's the depressed one and I'm stopping him." Xiumin yelled back. Suho gasped. "Luhan! There is no reason for you to be depressed!" He scolded as he hugged him. "What? But he's lying right now!" Luhan tried to convince him. Right then, Xiumin pulled the bottle out of Luhan's grip and ran out. "Look! He took the bottle!" Luhan accused as he pointed to Xiumin who was running away but, when Suho looked, he was gone. He kept rubbing Luhan's back in consolation. 

Suho led Luhan to his room and watched him lay down. "Now, you will sleep peacefully and you will wake up with good spirits, got it? You will wake up, tomorrow?" Suho kept repeating until Luhan finally answered positively. When Luhan woke up, he almost forgot about last night until Suho came in with the same smile on his face. "Oh you're awake? Come and have breakfast!" He motioned with his hand until Luhan finally got up and followed him. When Luhan sat down, he was annoyed as he saw everything on his plate in the shape of a smiley face. He glared at Suho who just smiled. "Eat up!" He expressed. "Don't choke! Promise me you won't choke?" Suho warned and waited patiently for a response. Everyone noticed the situation and were equally curious. "What's up?" Kyungsoo wondered and everyone waited to hear the reply. Suho noticed the attention and wrapped his arms around Luhan's neck as he sighed. "Our LuLu hyung has fallen into depression..!" He told them with exaggerated, but meaningful sadness. Everyone looked surprised. "I'm not depressed..." Luhan muttered. "He's in denial too!" Suho continued. "Don't worry, hyung. After breakfast, we'll go to the park and look at puppies. No one can be sad looking at puppies." Suho told him, patting his back. Luhan looked at Sehun and mouthed 'help me'. Sehun nodded. "Actually, hyung and I have plans." Sehun told Suho. "Oh, that's okay too. As long as he's happy." Luhan sighed.

Luhan and Sehun were walking around town right now. "So, Xiumin hyung is the one who's depressed?" Sehun confirmed after Luhan had explained the situation to him. Luhan nodded. "He just lied." The two walked around for a while.

Later, they came back to the dorm. They entered the kitchen and saw Suho spilling something into the sink. "What are you doing?" Luhan asked him. He turned slightly and they saw what they were. "You won't be drinking anymore. I found where you hid them." He said as he continued to spill them. Suddenly they heard a scream. It was Xiumin. He ran to Suho yelling: "No! What are you doing!?" Suho just lifted his hands a little. "Do you have any idea how much I paid for those!?" He yelled again. "You paid for them?" Suho confusingly asked. "Of course! You think I'd waste that much money on someone else!?" He was still yelling. "So that means..." Suho realized. "Yes! It's true! They're mine, I'm the one drinking and I'm the one depressed! Just stop spilling them!" He continued to yell as he tried to take the bottles from Suho. "What's with all the yelling?" Baekhyun wondered as he and Chanyeol entered the kitchen. "Xiumin hyung is drinking and I'm trying to help." Suho told them. "I thought it was Luhan?" Chanyeol thought but he wasn't heard since Baekhyun yelled as he ran to Xiumin, hugging him. "You're drinking, wae~!? Why didn't you tell me you were upset? I thought we were friends!" Xiumin blushed lightly as he let go of the bottles. "I'm fine, Baekhyun. Don't worry about me..." Xiumin told him but Baekhyun just glared. "Don't lie, hyung." Xiumin sighed as he watched Suho continue. "Why did you lie?" Suho asked him. "Isn't it obvious? I didn't want to have to go through that long talk I know you're going to give about how I should be happy because depression can lead to worst things." Suho blinked once. "How did you know--" he started but was interrupted. "I heard you giving it to Chen a few months ago..." He admits. Suho blinked a second time. "Xiumin you're going to tell me all of your troubles, got it?" Baekhyun ordered as he wiggled a finger which he then used to poke the older's cheek. Xiumin was still hopelessly watching Suho. "Please...just one bottle?" He pleaded. Suho looked at him. He stopped spilling the bottle in his hand to look at Xiumin better. "You're really sad, aren't you?" He realized. Xiumin didn't say anything; he just bit his lower lip. Suho straightened himself and continued spilling. "No, I am not going to leave you anything." Suho said sternly. Xiumin felt something go off inside of him as he grabbed the bottle out of Suho's hand as fast as he could and ran out. Luckily, Chanyeol, who was near the door, caught him. "Let me go!" Xiumin yelled. Chanyeol ignored him. Baekhyun looked angry and Suho looked disappointed. Suho was on his way to grab the bottle and take it back. Xiumin noticed and immediately chugged the bottle shocking everyone. When he finished he started breathing heavily since there was still a lot in the bottle. "Wow, I guess you're serious about the bottles." Suho said, taken aback. Chanyeol let go of Xiumin. Suho went to the drinks and grabbed them. Xiumin looked at him. "One bottle." Suho repeated. "That was one bottle." Xiumin glared at him and ran away. "Xiumin!" Baekhyun yelled, running after him. Chanyeol followed. Sehun looked at Luhan who looked angry. Luhan stormed out and went upstairs. Sehun reluctantly followed him.

At the top of the stairs, Luhan stopped and turned to Sehun. "You don't have to come, Sehunnie. I'm just going to talk to someone." He told him. "Oh, okay." Sehun said innocently as he walked towards his room. Luhan went to Chen and Lay's room door and knocked. Sehun wondered what he would be doing there before closing the door to his room. Lay opened and Luhan went in. "I can't, Lay. I can't." Luhan expressed angrily. "Can't what?" Lay asked. "I think I might hate him." Luhan told him. Lay sighed. "You should have seen the way he acted, ugh." Lay shook his head as Luhan began telling him what happened. He walked over to sit on the bed. "Like, who does that!? Right? Please tell me I'm right!" Luhan pleaded as he looked Lay in the eyes. "You're right?" Luhan sighed. "I'm right to hate him too, right?" Luhan asked him. "Well..." Lay started. "Come on. You still think he's in the right?" Lay shook his head. "I'm not saying he's doing the right thing. I'm just saying you shouldn't hate him." Lay told him. "I feel like I'm going to yell at him the next time I see him." Luhan admitted. "Then ignore him. Ignoring is better than yelling at him." Lay said. Luhan nodded.

As the door was heard opening, Luhan went over to see who it was. It was who he expected. Chanyeol, Baekhyun, and Xiumin. The latter was looking down. The two others each had a hand on his shoulders. "Luhan hyung." Baekhyun called as he saw him. Luhan walked over to them. "Xiumin has something he'd like to say." Luhan waited to hear what would come out of his mouth. Nothing. Baekhyun pinched him. "Yah, did you forget already?" Baekhyun whispered to Xiumin. “You don’t hate him, right?” Chanyeol asked as Baekhyun pinched Xiumin while whispering: "Remember, remember, remember." They waited with anticipation. "No, I don't hate him." They all sighed. Realizing how awkward this looked, Baekhyun stopped pinching him and gave Luhan an awkward smile. "He wanted to apologize." He told him. Luhan raised an eyebrow. "For the way he acted." Chanyeol let him know. "It was totally uncool." Baekhyun nodded. "And that he would like for you to put it behind and stay his friend." Baekhyun finished. "Apology accepted." Luhan told them, to which they reacted happily to. "I'm afraid I can't put something like this behind, it's too shocking." He continued and they lost their smiles, knowing what's to come next. "I'm afraid we can't stay the same." Luhan apologized. Xiumin nodded. Baekhyun rubbed his shoulder. They smiled (awkwardly) to him as they dragged Xiumin upstairs. Luhan politely smiled back. When they were out of earshot, Lay revealed himself from behind the couch. He had been laying on it the whole time, listening. Luhan sighed deeply. "That was tough..." He expressed. "Good job. You didn't yell!" Lay congratulated him. "I had to lie..." Luhan admit. "Hmm?" Lay wondered. "I do actually hate him..." Luhan whispered quietly. "It's good that you lied then." He told him.

Kai stomped into Sehun's room. He had long ago made up his mind and he wasn't changing it now. Sehun looked up from his phone, slight annoyance was evident. "What is it now?" Kai tried to not let it bother him. He mentally formed his first few sentences, thinking it'd be easier this way. "I have something to tell you." He firmly said. Sehun eyed him, waiting for whatever it is. "This will come as a bit of a shock. I hope it doesn't change much. Please don't hate me for it." Kai pleaded seriously. "Is this about...?" Sehun was about to ask but then decided not to interrupt. "The person I like is..." Kai suddenly stopped. Something was pulling at him, stopping him from saying that one word. Kai's eyes watered. He willed himself not to cry. He was going to do this. Nothing will stop him. Sehun stared at him expectantly. "I like..." Kai started repeating his words and that's when Sehun knew he was never going to say it. "It's..." Sehun shook his head. He stood up, surprising Kai. "Is it me?" Sehun suddenly whispered in Kai's ear, sending shivers down his spine. Kai's tears fell as he slowly nodded. Sehun suddenly looked at Kai differently. He hugged him for consolation. "I'm sorry... I was being selfish. I shouldn't have broken our friendship because of that. It's dumb. You should be able to keep who you like a secret, I shouldn't force you to tell me. The important part in me trusting you is you keeping my secrets safe not you telling me your secrets. I'm sorry for only thinking of myself." Sehun deeply apologized. Kai cried in his shoulder. After a while of trying to get Kai to stop crying, Sehun tried something else. "Kai." Sehun called. "I don't hate you. Please don't think I do. I never did and this doesn't change anything. Well, it does but not negatively, I swear!" Sehun tried to convince him. "I'm sorry." Kai suddenly apologized. "I shouldn't be crying. There really isn't a single reason for me to be crying." He said as he slowly lifted his head, making eye contact with Sehun. "Don't worry about it. Cry all you want." Sehun said as he pushed Kai's head back into the crook of his neck, rubbing it. "No, really." Kai said, lifting his head back up. "You're dealing with my feelings well so, I should be thankful." Kai claimed. "If that's how you want to look at it..." Sehun thought. "I'll still tell you things, but I won't be too specific and I'll try not to talk about Luhan too much." Sehun told him, rubbing his back. "Of course, I still want to help you. But, don't look at this like you can't tell me anything. You can still talk about him. What else do you have to talk about?" Kai told him. "Okay, if you're okay with it." Sehun agreed.

So, What do you think? BTW the second paragraph here, when Sehun tells them all how they spent Luhan's birthday, it's the same time as the chapter "Confusing Emotions" i wrote. When Kai runs out to cry. I didn't mention it because it was in Luhan's perspective and he didn't care to notice something like that. 

So, i hope Luhan's reaction makes sense to you guys. He is a homophobe but you shouldn't be angry at that though it's understandable. You're also probably curious about Lay's falling in love with a guy, right? I think i'll mention it later. But basically, he thought there's no way he could fall in love with a guy and stopped himself before it got out of hand because of the same reason everyone had (i.e.: Xiumin, Sehun, and Chanyeol( they plus Kai(who has no problem with being gay) are all gay so far (except Sehun) IDK if anyone else will be gay.))

Oh and i'm pretty sure i've never mentioned this before but Chanyeol and Sehun became best friends during trainee days and so did Baekhyun and Xiumin. So, that's why they both have a good relationship with Sehun and Xiumin. Obviously, Sehun and Xiumin aren't friends. They could have been but Xiumin's jealousy ruined their chances.

I think that's it. Any questions? Please look forward to the next chapter.

I'm going to keep asking until i get help:

http://www.asianfanfics.com/chat/view_room/14696/0/new-story