Kyungsoo opens his eyes, squinting at the harsh ray of light blinding his vision.  

He blinks until his eyes adjusts to the brightness. He slowly lifts himself up and lean on the headboard. 

The memories flashes in his mind as if taunting him to remember. 

His eyes get teary and he starts to tremble uncontrollably. 

He suddenly feels so dirty, worst than a trash. 

Filthy 

Tainted 

One thought crosses his mind and he wills himself to not cry harder. 

Jongin 

I'm so sorry Jongin. I'm too filthy for you now. 

He feels ashamed of himself. 

I lost what I treasured the most. 

Is living worth it after this? 

He eyes the knife used to cut fruits. 

Maybe. 

Maybe not.  

                                                 •~•

"Please, just let me see him." 

Kai begs,

Sehun sighs, "It's not like I'm doing this on purpose Kai but I don't think you shoul-" 

"Please, I'm begging you. Only this time Sehun-ah." 

Kai kneels on the floor, attracting attention towards them. 

"Enough Kai, get up!" 

"Only if you let me see him. Please." 

"Alright. Just please, he's not in a stable condition. Don't be surprise if he starts crying." 

                                                  •~•

"Soo?" 

Silence 

"Baby? I'm here." 

Kai search for his favourite boy in the dark room. 

He finds him asleep peacefully on his bed, only the sound of machines beeping are breaking the silence. 

He stands beside the fragile boy and holds his hand, smiling at how easily the fit together. 

"Kyungsoo, you do know I love you right? If only I could turn back time, I would only choose to stay away from you. Bringing you close to me, only will harm you more. But even if I said that, I wouldn't have the courage to do it. I can't win a battle with my heart. I can't win a battle that I know I'll lose. I'm sorry this had to happen to you. I would gladly take your place love, and take all of your pain away. I'm sorry I had to do this but after this, you will never see me again. Please remember only the sweet memories. I love you until forever comes." 

Kai gently releases his hand from Kyungsoo's and put both of his hand on the side of the petite boy's head. 

He pecks Kyungsoo's forehead gently, a stray tear escape his eye and drops on the smaller boy's forehead. 

"Forgive me." 

He lifts his hand but frowns when he touches something cold. He glances to his side and freezes. 

Blood?

A/N: I'm sorry! The update this time is really ty. I got really stuck at writer's block. Bear with me? I promise the next update would be more promising.