I decided to go back home after the interview. I called my boss, Jae Hyun to inform him and he gave me the permission. Only Joon Young and Sun Hee will continue their journey to the next assignment. I'm glad that they understand the situation that I'm going through right now. Even during the interview, Sun Hee was professional enough to handle the awkward situation especially when Hoseok keeps on glaring at Joon Young. Why? Remember he says I left him for another guy? He meant Joon Young. 

Reason? Back when I was in Busan, I spend more time with Joon Young while Hoseok was busy with his trainee life but Sun Hee was with us too since she was my housemate. But she was with a different division while Joon Young and I were partners. I always question myself why do I always end up being paired with a guy instead of girl. And I realized Joon Young was a lot like Yongguk. He was calm, a very good listener and sometimes can be considered as a crack head. His voice is very deep and did I tell you that he was a good singer? 

Hoseok felt threaten whenever I mention Joon Young's name. When I first introduced them both, I can sensed that Hoseok didn't like him but he didn't want to admit. His possessive side started to show up again and he gets mad at me over petty things like why I didn't pick up his call or why didn't I answer his text message. Like how am I supposed to do that when I was busy concentrating with my assignments? This internship is the key to my future and if I didn't do well, there's no point I studied so hard.

And we would end up fighting even though I've explained everything to him. I'm getting tired and stressed with almost everything. Sun Hee will be the one who witness me crying until I fell asleep and woke up the next day with panda eyes. All those fights makes me emotionally unstable and it started to affect my behavior. I didn't have the appetite to eat, I'm losing my sleep and I became very quiet. Sun Hee and Joon Young was so worried about me.

Until one day, Hoseok caught me in the arms of Joon Young. He thought I was cheating on him but he didn't know that I actually fainted and Joon Young was helping me while Sun Hee was looking for a doctor. What happens the rest is history. Because of that, I decided to continue my training with them at the States. At the same time, I wanna be far away from Hoseok. I just couldn't take it anymore.

Nothing hurts more when the person you love turns out hurting you the most. I'm glad Joon Young and Sun Hee never left my side when I'm at my darkest moment. Friendship isn't about who you've known longest, it's about who came and never left your side.

Yoongi on the other hand, when he found out what happen between me and Hoseok, was pretty mad and upset. He even threaten to beat the out of the guy but I told him not to lay a finger at him. And he didn't even had the chance to meet Hoseok in person. So he had a lot of things to be upset too.

When Yoongi was selected as a trainee, he came over to my old apartment at Mapo-Gu and live there a few months before moving to the dorm with his group members. On his last day of stay, he stumble upon a box that I left inside my closet. He decided to take a look and he was shock to know that my ex-boyfriend was one of his group members. Small world huh? But until now, Yoongi keep his identity from Hoseok just to protect me.

God my head hurts so much when I remembered what happens in the past. But Yoongi always told me this.

"Don't cry over the past, it's gone. Don't stress about the future, it hasn't arrived. Live in the present and make it beautiful."

Maybe I shoud start listening to their new album. Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa - The Most Beautiful Moment in Life. 

I fell asleep while listening to BTS album. Seriously, most of their songs really does have an impact to me. It's like their song speak to me. The boys are really talented. But when I look at the lyrics, especially Hoseok's part, I couldn't help but feeling hurt, sad and I just had a feeling that he wrote his part himself. I studied his lyrics and it does gives me chill especially in these 3 songs.

I Need You.

You can’t do this to me
All of the things you said are like a mask
It hides the truth and rips me apart
It pierces me, I’m going crazy, I hate this
Take it all away, I hate you

Hold Me Tight

Your arms, your warmth, your heart
I want to see it all, I beg you
This moment, even the warm flower scented wind
Even the sky without a single cloud
Everything feels cold
and I’m even scared of the clear sky
If you’re not here, I’m just a corpse,
so how can I breathe?
It hurts, I’m always cry cry cry
I’m going crazy, exhausted without you
I think of you without stopping
I hate it all, I hate every single day
It makes me cry, ring ding dong
If there’s a chance, I’ll catch you
I’m running, it’s starting, count down
I’m ready to be cut by your rose-like embrace
as I hold you again

Butterfly

It’s like a wind that gently me
It’s like a dust that gently drifts along
You’re there but for some reason, I can’t reach you, stop
You, who’s like a dream is a butterfly high to me.

After finish listening to the songs, I pick up their album and suddenly, something fell out from the CD cover. 

"What is this?" I pick it up from the floor and it turns out to be a letter written by one of the members. Judging from the hand writing, I knew who wrote it. None other than Hoseok.

Carefully, I unfold the letter and began to read it

Dear Hana,

There is no word that could describe how much I miss you. I'm still not over you.  I kno