(somedays when my fingers are tired, I do wish for a device that can type out my thoughts gah.)

Gary frowned as he read the note sent by the messenger pigeon. Jihyo walked in and saw him frown, so she asked him, “What’s wrong, Hee Gun?”

“Nothing,” he said, crushing up the paper and sliding it in his pocket. “Go to sleep,” he told her, brushing her off.

If it was the Jihyo in the past, she would have let it go. But she was different now. She wanted to know, so she didn’t stop questioning.

“It’s definitely not nothing,” she answered, walking up to him. “What’s wrong?” she asked again, more gently.

Gary was conflicted. He wanted to tell her, but he didn’t want to worry her.

“First rule of the palace, remember? Don’t ask more than what you should know,” he said.

Jihyo sighed, hurt by what he said. “I just wanted to help,” she said softly. He used to always tell her his problems. She didn’t know why this should be any different.

Gary turned away, obviously avoiding her. “Just rest, we’re setting off early tomorrow.”

Jihyo frowned, angry and hurt, but she left anyway.

The next morning, before the sun even rose, Gary woke up the troops and the children.

“This is the last stretch to the palace. If we speed up, we can reach the palace by noon. You will be given time to wash up, and also have new clothes to wear and food to eat, so let’s hurry up, alright?” he told the children. They cheered and Gary smiled. Jihyo smiled as she watched him. This was so different from their time.

She waited for Gary to climb up the horse with her. They usually rode together. The horse was his, because he was the leader. He let Jihyo ride with him, he said it was because the journey was tiring and she needed to conserve energy to treat the injured children. Not like anyone would question the leader anyway.

Gary didn’t go up, as usual. He told a subordinate to tell Jihyo.

“Leader Kang said that he wouldn’t be using the horse today. He wants to lead the children for the last stretch. You know how to ride a horse, right?” he asked.

Jihyo looked lost. They went on many trips together, but Gary never wanted ‘to lead the children for the last stretch’. He always rode with her. Just what is it what I’ve said wrongly? She thought to herself.

“Physician Song?” the soldier asked again.

“Eung?” she asked.

“You can ride the horse by yourself right? Or would you want me to lead the horse for you?”

“Eo. I can ride it myself,” she answered. Gary taught her.

They reached the palace by noon, just as Gary predicted. Jihyo knew Gary was always busy when they returned to the palace because he had to settle the administrative things, so she went off by herself to find Suk Jin.

“Head Physician!” she called out to him happily.

“Jihyo!” he replied, excited to see her as well. “You’re back early!” he commented, surprised. She always came to find him after each trip, but most of the time she would arrive in the evening.

“Eo, Leader Kang rushed back today,” she said, trying not to get reminded of his cold treatment towards her.

“Ah… must be due to his new posting,” Suk Jin let it slip before he could stop himself.

“New posting?” Jihyo asked.

“What new things did you learn this time?” Suk Jin asked, trying to divert her attention. Jihyo pressed on. “What new posting?” she asked again.

Suk Jin sighed. “If you need to know…” he began. But Jihyo cut him off. “I know, I know, ‘if I need to know, I’d be told, right? But no one is ever telling me anything!” she almost snapped out of frustration.

“Tell me, please.”

“He’s posted to the northern borders,” Sukjin finally relented, like how a father eventually gives in to his daughter. “The king wants to stop the rebels uprising, so he deployed more manpower there. That’s all Jae Suk told me.”

Jihyo stared at Suk Jin in shock. Stop the rebels was just a nicer term for civil war. “It wouldn’t be too dangerous, right?” she asked.

“I don’t know…” he answered.

“When will he leave?”

“I don’t know… Jae Suk didn’t tell me that.”

Jihyo sat on the chair, silently staring into space. That must be what the note was all about. That’s why he didn’t tell me? He didn’t want me to worry? As a soldier, you never know if there’s a next year. Those words he said now rang in her ears. She was worried for him. So worried. So worried that she wanted to run after him right now and beg him not to go. But all she could do is just stare into space.

“Jihyo…” Suk Jin began cautiously. She looked up at him. “Are you… perhaps… in love with him?”

“I…” she muttered, n