Warning: Some trigger elements

           The van pulled into the darkened apartment lot; Mingyu and Wonwoo got out with the rest. The dark clouds remained stuck on the sky; it wasn’t raining anymore.

            “Can we crash on the floor?” Mingyu said quietly to Woozi, once the four of you had climbed out. In the background, Coups was rummaging through the passenger side compartment. Under the single glow of the interior lights of the van, he muttered avidly to himself; desperately searching for stray cigarette that Woozi may have left behind. His red-eyes, frazzled expression and shaky hands made you momentarily forget that Coups didn’t even smoke.

            Woozi nodded soundlessly. Three of you made your way to the apartment and through the security door.

            “I’m assuming talking about things-“ Woozi started, squeaking echoing as he trudged up the stairs. Water pooled out from under Woozi’s drenched sneakers with every step.

            “Not interested,” You grunted, pushing your sticking hair away from your face.

            “Okay then.”

“I have half a mind to lock Hoshi out of the apartment,” You shot a look down a Hoshi, trailing a few stairwells behind with DK.

            “It’s not entirely his fault,” Woozi said.

            “Leaving a sixteen-year-old boy in the woods while its raining….” You gritted.

            “Everyone has been on edge since Joshua…you know.” Woozi said.

            “And what about Joshua? What is going to happen he finds out about Dino running away?”

            Your bare feet carried you as fast as they could up the stairs, ignoring the pinching pain from the flecks of gravel dug into the bottoms of your feet. In the intensity of the situation, you had forgotten your shoes at the school.

            “You are talking a lot for someone who didn’t want to talk.” Woozi muttered.

“If I could just call that gang leader right now, I would more than welcome a fight.” You hand clasped together, trying to shake the adrenaline off. “I need something to export all this energy.”

            “Bad habits lead to reoccurring bad decisions.” Woozi said warningly, and you swung open the appartment door.

            “Dino has to come back, right?” You headed straight for your room. “He has to.”

            “He will. Coups still has his stuff at the apartment.” Woozi said, following you. He closed  the room door behind you. He hoisted himself up on the bed with a wet squish. His eyes dropped to his dampening bed sheets and quickly jumped off.

“I should go back.” You more said to yourself.

            “If Dino doesn’t want to be found you won’t be able to find him. He used to run away all the time.”

            “He did?”

            “When Hoshi first took him in, Dino used to be gone for days at a time. Believe me, he’ll be fine.”

            “Still. I can’t believe Hoshi just let him go!” You grunted, slamming a fist on a desk.

            “DK and Hoshi have been friends since they were babies,” Woozi admitted. “Hoshi has always been protective.”

            “But Dino-” A grunt left your lips as you leaned over your desk. “I don’t want to talk about Dino anymore. I think I’ll go insane.” You pulled at your split ends. “I can’t believe you did nothing.”
            “It’s not a foreign sight. Dino runs away all time.”

            You sat down at your desk and put your forehead on the wood. “Why is everything going to ?” Your eyebrows furrowed over closed eyes. Your curled mouth let out an exasperated whine. “Everything is going to .”

            “You want a song?” Woozi picked up a towel along with his guitar. He put the towel around his neck and pulled his chair nearer to you, resting his instrument on his knee.

            “Of course.” You said. As if that was even a question.

           This had become routine, ever since Woozi played the night you couldn’t sleep. Woozi often played for you, often multiple times during daylight as well. You were useless when it came to giving feedback. But listening to Woozi’s melodies soothed you, and playing them calmed Woozi. Both of you were getting considerable better nights sleep.

            “Show me that one that you’ve been working on,” You said. “Maybe that one from class.”

            Woozi rolled his eyes. The air in the room was considerably lighter now. “No, the professor keeps telling me that the tempo is off.” Woozi attempted a smile. “Like he even knows what tempo is best for a song.”

            You grinned just for the sake of it. “The composer knows best.”

 

 

 

 

           It had only been an hour of listening to Woozi’s melody before the sound abruptly halted. You sat up in bed.

           Woozi was leaning back in the chair, head lolled back to rest against the wall. His hand dangled at his side. The abandoned guitar on the floor grazed his index finger. His eyes were closed.

            You got out of bed and wrapped one arm around Woozi’s middle back, the other on the underside of his knees. You picked him up and dropped him on his bed. “My desk is not your bed.” You whispered, rolling him over to his backside.

             In the living room, Mingyu was curled up on the couch, breathing shallowly in a peaceful. Wonwoo laid on the floor in a sleeping bag. The room was lit under the one weak light softly glowing from the kitchen. Your rubbed your tired eyes, a bang of jealous hit you. How could they sleep? Did they hold no guilt over Dino’s disappearance?

            Glancing down, the screen of your phone showed no new notifications. Your fingers itched with anxiety to check your phone every ten minutes. If Dino decided to change his mind, you wouldn’t want to miss the call. The light casting deep shadows under your eyes.

            You opened your contacts and pressed number two and called. The phone rang as you sunk down against one of the cabinet doors. You sat on the kitchen floor, bringing your knees to your chest.

            The ringing stopped.

            “Hey, this is Joshua Hong. I’m sorry that I can’t take your calls right now. But leave me a message and I might get back to you-“

            There was laughter in the background. “I’m Joshua Hong, I’m so cool and professional.” A voice mimicked Joshua’s monotone.

            “Shut up. Stop interrupting this.  Can’t I do this without you saying something?” Joshua’s voice was faint before he returned. You could hear the smile in his voice. “Anyway, leave a message. Coolio, have an awesome day!”

            Beep.

            You sat in the weak kitchen light, alone. Mingyu’s soft snoring in the background. The rest of the apartment quiet.

            “H-hey Josh,” You stuttered, leaning your head back on the cabinet, legs crisscrossed. Your fingers played with the hem of your shorts. “You should call me back. I know I’ve left like a million messages by now but…” Your voice broke off. You cleared your throat, and winced.

            “Just call me back, okay? I mean, if you are even listening. I’m pretty sure you just abandoned this phone in a ditch somewhere but it’s nice to think that you are getting these. I’m not just talking to thin air?”

            You looked back at the two unconscious figures in the living room. “I would say call me back, but I know you won’t…but please? I miss you. It’s been too long and you can’t ignore me forever. Talk to the guys at least.”

            “I’ve said this all before.” You groaned, rubbing your head. “Dino’s basketball game was tonight. It was alright I guess besides the fact that Dino’s God-knows-where right now.” If you closed your eyes you could pretend you were talking with him. “How are you? Hopefully alright. I’m good, I guess. Just a little tired. I think I might go looking for Dino tomorrow. I don’t even know where I would start. Maybe the coffee shop? You don’t come there anymore. I used to see you all the time but now-“

            “To listen to your message, press one. To rerecord press two. If you-“

            You quickly hung up. Suddenly, your eyelids were heavier. There was nothing else to care about anymore. If Dino was to come back, he would wait until morning. Joshua would never return your calls. Woozi was asleep.

            You fell asleep on the kitchen floor.

            The next morning, you awoke to your phone buzzing on the hard wood kitchen floor. You pushed yourself off of the ground, still feeling murky from the night before. The number had no caller ID.

            You picked it up, rubbing your eyes.  “Hello?”

            A female voice picked up, calling you by your name and asking if it was you. It took you a second to clear your tired mind and mumble back a response.

            “Yes, this is her.” You answered.

            “This is Andrea.” A soft voice said.

            You yawned, rolling your shoulders back. Your muscles were tense from sleeping on the kitchen floor.  “Andrea?”

            “You dropped Dino off at class once?” Her voice was high, on edge.

            “Oh, yea. That was me.” You said in a low morning tone.

            “I’m sorry to disturb you but Cheol isn’t answering his phone, and you were the last person left in his contacts.”

            “What?” Your stomach dropped on instinct. Something wasn’t right, you knew it. “What is going on? What’s wrong?”

            “I’m at the hospital now-“

            Your fingers loss grip, the phone slid from your limp fingers and clattered to the floor.

            The glow of the phone illuminated your tense face as the voice finished the sentence. Just soft enough so the sentence could sting your ears. 

           Your throat tensed. Your lips parted slightly and bellowed a ripping scream. Your hands came to your reddening face, teeth flashing in the growling yell. Your nose crinkled, eyes squeezed shut.

           Breathe. Breathe.

           You stood up, grasping at the edge of the counter for life.

           “Hello?”

           “What is going on?” DK and Woozi were in the kitchen, wide eyes and panicked, disoriented from being awoken.

           You couldn’t construct a sentence, the thoughts were whizzing in your head to fast to pick the right words. “Teacher. Called. Dino. Help.” You gasped.

           DK bent down and picked up the phone. “Hello?” He paused and then his shoulders relaxed. He shot you a questioning look. “Oh, it’s just Dino’s teacher.” He waved a hand in dismissal.

           His hand froze mid-air. Eyes widening, lips parting. He pressed a hand to his forehead. “What? WHAT? How? Is he-“ The voice cut DK off. “Of course, we will be right down”

           DK set the phone on the counter. His eyes glazing over, breathing heavily.

           “What?” Woozi asked in high pitched voice. “WHAT?”           

           “D-dino, he-“ DK swallowed hard. “he’s in the hospital.”

           “What? How?” Mingyu spluttered from the living room.

           “H-he-,” DK looked at you, fleetingly before looking down at his shoes. “Attempted suicide.”

 

 

           You didn’t remember how you got the hospital only that suddenly you were there. No one wasted time properly parking the van. The group abandoned the van on side of the hospital. Everyone jumped out before Coups had even put it in park and started running for the entrance.

           Coups skidded to the front desk first. “Chan, Lee.” He yelled through bated breath. Everyone came up behind him, leaning over the desk desperately.  

           The lady typed something on the computer before looking up. “Are you family?”

           “Yes.” Coups said aggressively. “I’m his guardian.”
            She eyed the rest of the group. “We’re all his guardians.” Coups snapped impatiently.

           The woman nodded and pressed a button that buzzed the door open. “The patient is in room thirty-four b.”

           The boys broke out into a sprint again, skidding at turns but never stopping. Everyone was clad in their pajamas. Mingyu and Hoshi were still in their boxers. Wonwoo in a robe. You and Woozi were in the clothes from last night.

           Coups burst through the the door labeled ‘Hallway B’. The group of seven bolted past everything in a whirr; past nurses, stations and other rooms. No one turned their head to look behind, everyone was running so quickly they were almost tripping over themselves.

           You passed room thirty.

           Everyone plowed past nurses, who extended their hands to pause for a question. Woozi yelled at one. The group didn’t stop.

           Room thirty-one.

           Everyone was wheezing.  Their legs went faster than their lungs could keep up. Hoshi and Coups’ led the group in what looked like a battle charge formation.

           Room thirty-two.

           Woozi was swearing under his quick breath. All eyes were fixed on the room a few seconds away. A nurse was standing the doorway, talking to another nurse looking worried. Without a word, the entire group picked up the already incredible pace.

           Room thirty-three.

           No one said anything. Everyone gasped for air to fill their burning limbs, they only ran faster once their limbs were satisfied.

           You stopped running.

           Room thirty-four.

           The rest of the group whizzed ahead of you. They pushed each other aside, a chaotic series of shoves and grunts as each one of them tried to fit themselves through the narrow doorway. Coups slipped in first first, sweat beading down his face. Hoshi squeezed past Mingyu to get through second. Wonwoo was last.

           Your legs shook from the overexertion. Throat burned as you collapsed on the ground, limbs trembling. The clean hospital floor morphed at your dizziness. You were on your hands and knees, breathing so heavily your back shook.

           “Are you Dino’s guardian?” A professional sounding voice said from inside the room. It was hard to hear past the pounding in your ears.

           “Yes.” The voice was both Hoshi’s and Coups. Gasps and heavy heaving echoed from the room.

           There was silence. “Yes, I am.” This time it was only Coups. “What is going on? Is everything alright?” Coups was breathless, panicked.

           “Oh, God.” You heard Wonwoo gasp under his strained breath. “Oh God, Dino!”

           “I am Doctor Travis. This morning Dino was found in the school by his teacher. She accompanied  Dino in the ambulance on the way here.”

           “We know that!” Woozi’s impatient voice was scorched.

           “Dino self harmed himself sometime last night. He managed to cut a vital vein on his wrist. He lost a lot of blood, but it looks like after a few bags he’ll be fine.”

           “We were told the situation was severe.” Hoshi’s voice gasped out.

           “In the ambulance it was.” The doctor said calmly. “His teacher found him in a pool of his own blood. You can imagine the uncertainty at that time. We were unsure how much blood had been lost, or if there was any other damage. But now, we know it is self-inflicted and he is stabilized.”

           “Thank you, Doctor.” Coups said quickly. “Thank you.”

           “He is okay?” Mingyu said strained.

           “We plan that he will make a full recovery.” The doctor reassured.

           “When can we take him home?” DK said.

           A nurse bent over you, looking worried at your state on the floor. You gathered yourself up, one hand clenching your chest and motioned that you were fine. You walked to door thirty-four and pressed yourself to the wall.  The door frame grazed your pinky.

           “That is the complication.” The doctor said hesitantly. “I would tell you all to sit down, but there aren’t enough seats.” The doctor cleared this throat. “Dino woke up a while ago, and he went into a rage. He had to be restrained.”

           “You tied him to the bed?!” Mingyu yelled in shock.

           “The patient was threatening our staff.” The doctor said seriously. “We had to give him some relaxers to calm him down. He should wake up in a few hours.”

           The entire group let out a groan. “I am so sorry, sir.” Wonwoo said.

           You had never heard any of the boys be polite to anyone before.

           “Dino just sometimes gets like that. I’m sure once he wakes up he will be more than apologetic.” Hoshi said quickly.

           “That is the thing.” The doctor paused. “After the incident. I looked into Dino’s past records and I uncovered some notes from past counselors, teachers and police reports. The counselors, which all have high levels of education made an unofficial diagnosis about Dino that I feel still reigns accurate.”

           “What diagnosis?”

           “Boarder Line Personality Disorder.”

           You gasped, as did everyone in the room.

           “P-personality Disorder?”

           “Dino doesn’t have-“
            “Bull!”

           “You are mistaken-“

            “The counselors didn’t even tell me that and I was the one who took him to those meetings.” Hoshi yelled.

           “The notes described that the patient was unwilling to cooperate. From the records, Dino only went twice so it was indefinite whether or not the diagnosis was correct.” The doctor’s voice was firm.

           “So, it’s not for sure?”

           “Borderline personality disorder is characterized by intensive mood swings, severe or sometimes melodramatic reactions to things, impulsive or dangerous behaviors and intense and often inappropriate anger.” The doctor stated. “From Dino’s records of fights and police reports, as well as concerning notes from his teachers, I believe that Dino is more than a just simply a troubled child.”

           As he read off the symptoms you found yourself checking them off in your head. All them described Dino. The back of your eyes started to burn.

           “Borderline Personality Disorder is often highly tied with Depression and self harm, and in this case, both are true.”

           “So what?” Hoshi was defensive. “Are you going to put him on medication?”
            “In my personal opinion, it would be unwise to put Dino on medication. He is too young for the strong medication that someone with his severity of the illness would require. BPD is hard to treat, but since we caught it young it is more than possible for him recover. I would recommend residential treatment.”

           “Residential treatment?” Mingyu said. “What does that mean?”

           “Residential means he would live there.” The doctor said calmly.

           “It’s a psychiatric ward!” Hoshi yelled. “He’s only sixteen!”

           “It is not. This place specializes in mood disorders and it only accepts teenage patients. Dino will be with people his own age, getting help from specialists.”

           “No way!” Hoshi said loudly. “Absolutely not!”

           “Do you recommend it, Doctor?” Coups asked seriously, cutting Hoshi off.

           The doctor sighed. “In my professional opinion, yes. Dino has already characterized self-destructive behavior. If he continues without treatment, he will only worsen. Over time, he will become a serious danger to himself.”

           “You have to understand, we got into a big fight last night. Dino doesn’t have his BPD , no really! He was just upset-“ Hoshi spoke as if he was trying to bargain with the doctor.

           “Like I said, BPD is characterized by extreme reactions to things. Big fight or not, a person attempting suicide after a fight is not a normal reaction.”  The doctor stated, strong willed. “Besides, he shows other signs.”

           “I’m not convinced.” Mingyu spoke up.

           “When Dino arrived, in order to administer blood into his system, we had to take of his sweatshirt to put IV’S into his veins. Several signs showed us that this was not the only time he has self-harmed. In fact, some of them were fairly recent. See for yourself, if you don’t’ believe me.”

           Steps were heard disappearing further into the room. “Damn it, Dino!” Woozi yelled.

           “But Dino isn’t suicidal. He just is going through hormones-“

           “BPD is often mischaracterized as such. A person with BPD can be completely happy one minute and then they snap. When they do, they can seem like a complete different person- full of rage and depression. Dino may not be a danger to himself when you see him. But when he snaps, he most definitely is.”

           The whole group was silent. The heavy breathing slowing down.

           No matter how much your chest screamed to disagree, your mind knew it was true. Everything the doctor was saying sounded like Dino. He was describing Dino’s actions perfectly.

           “You recommend he goes to that residential program?” Coups said strictly.

           “Yes, the program is highly praised. He will be treated without medication, but instead through counseling and other holistic ways.”
            “Will he have to stop his schooling?” Coups asked.

           “No. He can take classes online.” The doctor said.

           “We can visit him?” Coups said.

           “You aren’t seriously considering this.” Hoshi said in disbelief.

           “Of course,” The doctor said. “We have visiting hours. Now, all we need is a guardian’s approval. He can be transferred straight from here. The center there will have a separate interview with Dino and his guardian to ensure that he does have BDP. After that, treatment can start immediately.”

           DK let out a heavy sigh. “I knew that Dino was messed up…but I didn’t know it was a condition.”

           “Do I have the guardians permission?”

           “No.”

           “Yes.”

           Hoshi and Coups spoke at the same time.

           “Dino only has one foster parent listed.” The doctor drew out the words, flipping through some papers. “A, Choi Seungcheol?”

           “That is me.” Coups said.

           Your lips parted. Coups? A foster parent? You always thought that Hoshi was the legal guardian, but it was Coups?

           “I give my permission.” Coups said sternly.

           “Coups, you can’t!” Hoshi said. “He’s a kid.”

           “He needs help.”

           “I’ll come back with some forms for you to fill out.” The doctor said.

           “Wait,” Woozi interjected. “How long till he wakes up?”

           “Maybe twenty minutes?” The doctor said, “The sedative was just administered forty minutes ago.”

           The doctor passed you as he walked out of the room. You were still pressed to the wall.

           Shaky hands ran through your hair. Dino? Have Borderline Personality Disorder? It made complete sense in a way that made your left ache. He was staying away? In the treatment center? You should be happy for him, he was would get better, but still. Dino would be away from everyone one.

           “Coups!” Hoshi raised his voice. “You can’t do this!”

           “I am legally his guardian!” Coups said firmly. “Dino needs help! He might be able to finally get better.”

           “Nothing is wrong with him.”

           “A lot is wrong with him! The kid needs to heal.” Coups said in exasperation. “This will give him that chance to finally get over everything he needs to.”

“He has us!”

           “We aren’t professionals!” Coups yelled. “You heard him, they aren’t even going to give him meds. It’s completely holistic.”

           “Like you are going to-.”

           “You don’t have a choice.” Coups said roughly.

           “Come on, guys?” Hoshi was begging. “Anyone?”

           “Dino needs help, Hoshi.” DK said quietly.

           “This place could make him…normal. Like, all the time, not just sometimes.” Wonwoo said.

            Hoshi grunted, “screw all of you!” He said loudly. “Dino isn’t sick.”

            “Then where are we, Hoshi?” Woozi yelled. “We are in a hospital! People don’t go to hospitals because they are fine. Dino tried to kill himself!”

            “He didn’t-“

            “You are deluding yourself.” Woozi said bluntly.

            “I need a walk.” Hoshi said heatedly.

            Hoshi stormed out of the room, bumping into you in his haste.  He looked at you. His eyes were red and weary. “Don’t tell me you agree with them to?”

            You nodded slowly.

            “God damn it,” Hoshi grunted, looking up, biting his lip. “These places are brainwashing everyone.” Hoshi stormed away before you could say anything; red face crunched up and  lip pouting.

            You pressed your eyes shut. A grunt rolled over your lips as your fingertips pressed against your forehead. Everything seems surreal.

            “Do you want to see him?” DK was peaking out the doorway, looking at you with soft eyes. DK was still sporting a black eye from the night before. His nose was red and if you looked at it for long enough, it looked crooked.

            “He looks bad, doesn’t he?” You said, staring straight in front of you.

            “Fairly.” DK said, shrugging with defeated expression.

            “Maybe later.” You said. When you saw Joshua in that condition, it took a week to get the image out of your head. You sighed heavily.

            There was no look of grievance in DK’s face. “I assumed you would be mad at him for….” You glanced at his purpling eye.

            “Unlike everyone else around here I don’t really get mad.” DK said simply. “I’ll save the anger for the professionals- you and Woozi.”

            “It’s appreciated.” You mumbled.

            “No. I knew Dino didn’t really mean it.” DK sighed. “Also, I’ve seen him fight before. He could’ve done something a lot more serious.”

            There was a sniffle and someone from inside the room broke into a whimper. DK cranked his neck into the room. “Hey, give the kid some space.” DK said.
            “He doesn’t need space!” A nasally voice whined aggressively. “He’s unconscious, you idiot!”

            DK stepped into the room again. “Don’t touch him. Wait till the doctors-“
            You started walking away. The skin on your arms pricked with numbness. If you ignored it, you could convince yourself it wasn’t happening. Soon you were running.

            This wasn’t happening. Why didn’t you see it sooner? Why didn’t anyone notice it before? Obviously his actions were more than just teenage hormones? Before, you related to him; he acted a lot like you when you were a kid. What does that mean now that Dino is going to be taken away. Nothing was wrong with you. No, do you have some kind of illness? They wouldn’t send you away like Dino.

            You were halfway down the hallway when someone called after you. Ignoring it, your  feet pounded forward. The voice drew closer; You ran faster and the figure mimicked your speed.

            “Stop!” He yelled “Wait!”

            He was gaining on you, but you were already in the lobby. You darted out the main doors, past the receptionist. The brisk air filled your lungs. The last person you wanted to talk to Woozi.

            You spotted a cab and ran to it, pounding on the passenger seat window. “Hello?” You yelled desperately. “Ride?”

            “I’m waiting on someone else, lady.” The man grunted.

            You let out an exasperated sigh. A hand grabbed your shoulder. “Where are you going?” Woozi skidding to a halt next to the taxi, breathing heavily.

            You glared at the taxi. “Apparently nowhere.”

            “Lets go back inside,” Woozi tugged on your sleeve. “You need to see Dino.”

            “I don’t want to see him.” You said firmly, banging on the yellow taxi door. “I want to leave.” The taxi driver gave you a disgruntled look before pulling forward, away from your reach.

            “Let’s go back inside.” Woozi repeated, softly. His eyes looked like they were drowning.

            “Please, just leave me alone.” You sighed in annoyance. “I know you want to talk-“

            “I won’t talk if you don’t want to.” Woozi said seriously.

            “-but I don’t need a counselor right-” You stopped, soaking in his words. “Oh.”

            “Come on.” Woozi whispered. “Running away won’t do anything.”

            You glanced at the taxi. “You shouldn’t have followed me.”

            “I think that he may be watching us.” Woozi eyes scanned the horizon. “We should all stick together just to be safe.”

            “You think the boss is here?” You said quietly.

            “That or one of his henchman,” Woozi muttered lowly, “Come on.”

You walked back through the doors with Woozi. The two of you approached the receptionist. She looked up at Woozi and smiled. “You here to see your grandpa?”

            She obviously had not seen Woozi amongst the mass of people that flooded in minutes ago. “No,” Woozi said, adjusting his shoulders uncomfortably. “Lee, Chan.”

            “Seeing someone else today?” The woman behind the desk smiled kindly as she buzzed open the door. “I’ll tell Mr. Leon you’ll stop by another time. This Sunday as always?”

            “Yes. Thank you.” Woozi said stiffly.

            “Goodbye, Ji-“

            “Bye.” Woozi interrupted her and quickly started down the hallway. You jogged for a minute after him before you caught up.

            “Your grandpa is here?”

            Woozi glanced at you with hard expression. “Yes.”

            “I thought that those Sunday walks were for inspiration. I never knew you used that hour to come to the hospital.”

            “You know how you don’t want to talk about things?” Woozi said. “Consider the feeling mutual.”

            You didn’t say anything, eyes trained on the white hospital floor as you slowly made your way back to Dino’s hospital.

            Woozi wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “You don’t want to see him?” He whispered. His expression was soft, looking as if his face had been beaten down by the rough circumstances.

            “No.” You whispered, hard expression relaxing. Woozi’s defenses were down. Never had you seen him so utterly defeated before. His eyes were dropping down under dark circles. His posture was slumped as he walked. His gaze had lost the spark. Seeing him look this way made you soften. “Are you okay?”

            Woozi looked grim. “Dino will be getting the help he needs.” He said. “You heard the doctor, all of the symptoms fit Dino perfectly.”

            “I think we all knew something was up.” You mumbled. “It’s just no one talked about it.” There was foreboding tone in your voice

            “You aren’t the same as Dino.” Woozi said seriously.

            He had read your mind. “It seems like we are similar. Maybe I am crazy too.”

            “Don’t be absurd.” His tone was determined. “You don’t have BPD.”

            “What if I do?” You grabbed him and turned him to you. You couldn’t hide the consuming worry on your face “He seems like me-“

            “Dino snaps for no reason.” Woozi tried to lighten the situation but his face still remained solemn. “You snap because I am an . Besides you haven’t gotten angry in months.”

            “I can’t shake the feeling.”

            “You are reading too much into it.” Woozi told you determinedly. “You don’t have a mental illness. Joshua would’ve already said something.”

            “Well, Joshua didn’t say anything about Dino.” You muttered.

            “He did.” Woozi said, a dark look in his eye.

            “What?”         

            “About a year ago, Joshua confronted Hoshi. Joshua was sure that Dino had some kind of mood disorder. Hoshi didn’t believe him.”

            “If Hoshi would’ve listened then we wouldn’t be in the hospital right now.”

            “Maybe.” Woozi droned. “But you don’t have to worry. If you had something, Joshua would’ve noticed by now.”

            The two of you walked closer to the door.  Mingyu and Wonwoo were sitting outside of the room. Both of them were on opposite sides of the wall and looking straight down at the floor. Mingyu had his head in his hands, mumbling to himself. Both of them looked up as you approached.

            “Are you going inside?” Mingyu said humorlessly.

            You shook your head. “I’ll wait till he wakes up.” You lied.

            Mingyu nodded lifelessly.

            “Is Dino going home first?” Woozi asked.

            Wonwoo shook his head. “Coups is doing some final things with the doctors but it looks like not. A direct transfer.”

            Woozi sighed. “Does he need someone to go get his stuff? He will need clothes, right?”

            Mingyu shrugged. “Does it matter? They will have him in  hospital gowns anyway.” He said bitterly.

            “It won’t be like that.” You said. “It’s residential treatment center- not a psych ward.”

            Mingyu glared at you. “It was a joke.” He said roughly, “You know, something to make light of the situation?” He looked at you like you were an idiot.

            “I doubt Dino would’ve laughed at that.” You said.

            The hallway fell into silence

            Dino woke up around twenty minutes later. The doctor advised the group to go in and greet Dino to ensure calmness before breaking the news.

            The group all gathered around the door, inching to go inside. You slowly slipped away from the crowd and back into the hallway. Coups looked back at you. “You are coming in?” His gaze was determined.

            “I lied,” You said honestly. “I’m not coming in.”

            “It would mean a lot to Dino,” Coups said, eyes turned downward.

            “I can’t-“

            “Consider it a personal favor,” Coups said. He had deep lines under his eyes.

            You sighed heavily. A pointer finger slowly curled around your wrist from behind you. Your breath caught for a minute, you weren’t aware that Woozi was behind you. “It would help.” Woozi said.

            “I thought you were on my side.” You growled at him.

            “When am I ever on your side?” He gave you a knowing look.

            All the boys surrounded the entrance door, looking back at you. Peer pressure had never worked before, but you assumed if it was for Dino….

            You joined in the lineup and Wonwoo opened the door.

            Pillows propped Dino up in a hospital bed. Beeping sounds came from the machine Dino’s IV trailed to. A single blanket was draped over him. His left arm rested top of the blanket- entire left forearm bandaged. His face was a sickly shade of monotone white. His eyes were hardly open.

            “Dino.” Coups whispered, approaching the bedside. His thick finger swept Dino’s bangs away from his sweaty forehead.

            “T-they put me to sleep.” Dino murmured slowly. He was fighting to keep his eyes open. “The nurse gave me a shot.”

            “She did.” Coups croaked. His shoulders were trembling. “But it’s okay now.”

            “I’m sorry.” Dino whined, his eyes struggling to stay open.

            The group soundlessly took a step away from Coups, all diverting their eyes away from the personal scene. You suddenly became fascinated with shoelaces on your sneakers.

            “No,” Coups eyes were twitching, nostrils flaring and crinkled. “Everything is all good.”

            Hoshi entered late, looking frazzled. His eyes trailed over Dino’s half conscious form and tried to approach the bed, but Coups put his arm out. Dino’s eyelids heavily feel to a close- a fleck of blood on his eyebrow.

           “Why are you here?” Dino moaned in a hoarse voice, words slurring together. The anesthetic hadn’t completely worn off, you doubted if Dino had any idea that any one else besides Coups was in the room.

            Coups brows lowered. “You’re hurt-“

            “Once I’m out-“ A weak cough escaped Dino’s pale lips. “I promise I’ll get my stuff.”

            “You aren’t moving out.” Coups said.

            Dino’s eyes opened slightly. “I’ll be out of your hair.”

            “You are fine.” Coups said with a stronger voice than his expression portrayed.

            Dino insisted, his head swaying from side to side on the pillow. “I know places I can go. I’ve been through it all before.”

            “Damn it, Dino” Coups yelled through his b eyes. “I said everything IS FINE.”

            The yell jolted Dino conscious mind out of the drugs. His eyes popped open, taking in one deep breath. He slowly looked over the group standing in the background. He glanced back at Coups and sat up slowly. “What are you doing here?” Dino groaned.

            “What do you think?” Coups said, clearing his throat and putting a hand on his eye. When he pulled his hand away from his face, his face was serious, his shoulders stable.

            “You didn’t-“ Dino looked down sharply to his bandaged arm. He leant back on the pillows, gritted his teeth.

            “When were you going to tell us?” Coups demanded.

            “I wasn’t.” Dino said under his breath.

            “What were you using all this time?” Coups muttered, jaw clenched. “What?” He repeated more forcefully.

            “The kitchen knife.”

            “When?”

            “When you were asleep.” Dino muttered, no hint of shame in his voice.

            “You should of told… one of us. If not me…someone.”

            “Like I was going to that.” Dino’s brow furrowed. He didn’t seem at all troubled at the situation. He looked at Coups like Coups had himself put the knife in his hands.

            “You should’ve.” DK emerged from the back, his nostrils crusted with red.

            “You guys are making a big deal out of nothing.” Dino shrugged, his eyes traveled to the IV in his arm and up the red plastic tube to the bag of blood. “Get me out of this, I want to get back home.”

            “You aren’t taking this seriously.” Coups said, his hand turned white on the railing of Dino’s hospital bed.

            “There is nothing to take seriously.” Dino waved his hand. “Come on-“
            “You are hurting yourself!” Mingyu said.

            “Its not a big deal.” Dino said back. “I’ve been doing it for a while.”

            “How long?” Coups said quietly through his teeth..

            “It doesn’t matter-“

            “Answer the ing question, Dino!” You heard your voice before you realized you said it. Dino looked at you for a moment, mouth parted slightly.

            “More than a year.” Dino looked at you wearily.

            Wonwoo let out an exasperated gasp, Mingyu quickly sat down in the chair next to him. A nails dug into your forearm. Woozi was clinging, looking choked.

            “You are overreacting.” Dino said.

            “No, we aren’t!” Coups was yelling. “This is serious, you could’ve died!”

            “But I didn’t.” Dino yelled back, sitting up in bed and glaring at Coups.

            “You could’ve.”

            “But I didn’t.”
            “You could’ve died.”

            “It wouldn’t be so bad if I did.” Dino said it before he could swallow the words.

Woozi hissed from behind you, “.” Another set of fingernails was added to your arm.

            “You’ve tried to kill-“ Your voice choked out.

            “Yes.” Dino said shortly, looking straight at you. “Most street kids have.”

            “Stop calling yourself a street kid.“ You snapped. “, Dino. Just act like you care about this at least!”

            “Why?” Mingyu erupted from the back. “You were happy! You were always smiling and laughing.“

            “And?” Dino snapped, lips pulled back to flash his teeth. “That means nothing.”

            “It should mean something. People who aren’t happy just don’t-“

            “I was happy but then sometimes I wasn’t!” Dino yelled. “I can’t describe it. I just feel so…disconnected. Like I have two different sides….”

            Suddenly the air in the room felt thicker. Everyone averted their gaze away from Dino, exchanging knowing glances with each other. Your arm pierced with pain under Woozi’s sharp finger nailed grip. You put your hand on top of his and pulled his fingers away from you. He latched back onto you, tighter this time.

            “Stop acting so grim,” Dino looked at the tense expressions in disgust. “Come on, call the doctor- get me out of here.”           

            “No.” Coups said simply.

            “Don’t worry,” Dino scoffed, lip pulled up in a snarl. “I won’t come back to the apartment. I’ll get my stuff and then I will be out of your hair.”

            “Dino,” Coups spared a glance at Hoshi, who was lingering in the doorway. “We need to tell you something.”

Guys, this may need to be said but DO NOT self harm...please.  It seriously does nothing to help- talk to your parents or a teacher about it. There is nothing wrong with getting help with mental health issues.

I've only got around 5 more chapters left....WHAAAA

Answer this in the comments- "How do you think this story will end? Happy? Sad? Will everyone be friends? Romance?"
Let me know in the comments and i will respond! :)