You didn’t want to go back to the apartment yet, you would wait it out till morning. You couldn’t see their faces after what had just happened. You had let them see you cry. Weakness

            You decided to go the library, thank God that the café there was open 24/7.

           You looked around to see that you had ran yourself to the middle of nowhere. You really weren’t thinking.

           “Idiot.” You murmured to yourself.

            You used your phone to get directions back to the nearest bus stop. And your body was beginning to feel the toll of what you just put yourself through. You had just ran nonstop at full speed for an hour.

            Your legs were aching and cramping up, coupled with a permanent state of being out of breath. It was still too dark to see for sure, but were sure that that fall you took at high speed really tore you up. Your whole left side felt like it was on fire.

            It took you about a half an hour to find a bus station, which you waited at. When you got on the bus driver smiled at you. You didn’t smile back.

            It took around thirty minutes to get to campus. Wow, you had really ran far. He dropped you off with a smile again, that you still refused to return.

           Don’t get attached to people, you reminded yourself, don’t be soft, remember?

            The first thing you did in the library was go to the bathroom and look at yourself in the full length mirror.

            Truly, you looked like .

            Your hair was matted and frizzy from running in the rain. The left side of your t-shirt was splotched with blood. You lifted it up to see the scrapes where you fell. Your skin was peeling away and bloody. The left side of your jaw and neck along with half of your cheek was cracked with dried blood as well. A bit of it was on the side of your left nostril and tip of your nose. You looked down to see your feet utterly destroyed. You had been running for an hour on a mixture of payment and gravel. It had definitely done some damage. You didn’t need to lift your feet up to know that the bottom of them were dark crimson as well.

           Your left ear had it the worst. Every inch of it was covered in dried and fresh blood. You were sure that your ear was the first thing to make impact with the ground. Your eyes were slightly still red and your cheeks were splotchy and red.

            The eyes that were staring back at you in the mirror didn’t register as your own. Those eyes seemed dead. No sparkle or sign of life behind them. Like the eyes of a porcelain doll; lifeless.

           Good.

           You took some paper towels and got them wet to wipe away the crusted blood. It was painful, but it you would do a better job when the sun rose. It was already almost two in the morning and you were beat. The pure adrenaline that you had been running off of was dying down.

           After you cleaned yourself up, you went to the reading room. Its name described itself. It was a small room used for students who wanted it absolutely quiet. People often took naps there. When you went in there, there were only two people in the slow-lit room. One of whom was asleep on his textbook.

           You found a window seat in the back and wasted no time lying down on it. You body was so drained from the overexertion that you put yourself through that  It didn’t take long to fall asleep.

           You woke up to someone one shaking you. It was the janitor.

           “Thought you might want to be up now.” She said. You looked outside out the bright window and then to the clock. It was nine. You were surprised and how well you slept considering the night you had.

           When you got back to your apartment, you took a minute to prepare yourself before you walked in the door. Reminding yourself of the promise that you made the previous night. Knowing that DK and Hoshi were probably on the other side waiting for answers.

           You took a deep breath.

           You turned the handle and walked in. You just stared straight ahead, not allowing your eyes no wander around the room. But you saw Hoshi out of your peripheral vision sitting at the table.

           “DK!” Hoshi yelled, “SHE’S BACK. Where have you- HEY wait! Come back.” You didn’t waste anytime. You walked straight back into your room. Not giving him the time of day.

            You closed the door after you to see Woozi at his normal position on his desk. He looked up when you walked in. You looked at him.

            You both turned away at almost instantly, at the same time.

            “HEY!” Hoshi yelled before he barged in the door that you had closed. You acted as if you didn’t hear him as you sat down at your desk. “What happened? You didn’t come back last night.”

            You put on your headphones to give him the message.

            “HEY! HEY!” He yelled.

            “What’s up with her?” This was DK’s voice.

            “Don’t ask me.” Woozi snapped.

            “What did you do?”

            “I told you. None of your business.”

            “If you continue this, she’s really going to get us kicked out.” You felt a pang in your chest. You ignored this, must be heartburn or something.

            “Just leave me alone. I’ve got a deadline here! You try knocking out three songs in a week.”

            You heard some mumbling and then the door clicking shut.

            “So this is the strategy you’re going with?” Woozi asked quietly, his voice still as dull as ever.

            You pretended you didn’t hear him and nodded your heed to the imaginary music.

            “Hey, I know you can hear me, idiot. Your ‘phones aren’t even connected to anything genius.”

            You looked up too see him pointing at the end trail of your headphones, which was lying on the ground at your feet. 

            “How long are you going to keep this up?” He asked sounding completely interested.

            You glared at him. “Till the end of the semester.” You spat back at him.

            He turned back around to face his computer. “No use in being mad at me, you know.”

“Get back to your work. Leave me be.”

            Hoshi and DK did not give up their advances to you. At first they just tried talking to you whenever you left the room. More like they were talking at you. You didn’t respond to them.

           But then the talking became yelling. You assumed that they figured that yelling would be harder to ignore than talking.  Hoshi yelled at you when you were trying to grab cheese-its. DK chimed in when you attempted to go to the bathroom yelling apologizes for whatever Woozi had said. But you just ignored them all the same.

           Over the next few days, their tactics became more and more insane. Hoshi tried dancing wildly to get you to crack. And DK started spouting gibberish in an attempt to as well.

           You saw right through this. They weren’t doing this because they cared about you. They were doing this because they wanted to fix whatever Woozi had said to reduce the tension. To keep their sorry asses in the house.

           Their intentions didn’t bother you anymore. They were nothing to you.

           But, they were getting harder to ignore, so you had to put music in your headphones at full blast whenever you left your room.

           But they had prepared a counterattack.

           You were making dinner and had just finished when Hoshi and DK blocked the doorway using their bodies.  You didn’t make eye contact when you attempted to plow through them but they didn’t budge.

           “Talk.” DK more asked than demanded.

           You tried to ignore them again and tried to push past them again, but they remained immovable.

           “Just for a minute.” Hoshi said.

           You didn’t look at them when you said. “If you don’t move now, I will complain to the housing department and get all three of you kicked out for physical assault.” You didn’t even recognize your own voice. It was so hollow and dead, reminding you of Woozi’s.

           The immediateness at which they jumped out of your way just further proved what Woozi had told you.

           You stormed back to the room. Woozi shot you a glance when you walked in.

           “It’s not going to work.” He said.

           You just shot him a look.

           “They see it as a challenge now. You know?”
            You grunted in response.

           Woozi shot you a worrying look before returning to his work.

           Woozi turned right. For a few days, Hoshi and DK were being nothing but annoying. They tried their very hardest to get you to budge. Some of their tactics involved jump scares, outbursts of screaming, and tripping you.

           You only spoke to them twice, repeating the same threat of kicking them out. Both times they froze and ceased such efforts for the rest of the day. But it didn’t exactly stop them from not doing it the next day.

           Joshua kept calling you, too. You never answered but he made sure to leave voicemails.  Hoshi and DK seemed to be trying to ‘reach out’ to you more for their own personal entertainment, however Joshua did not. He seemed confused, and the messages he left were clunky and awkward. Even word vomiting his way through five minutes of a voicemail.

           When you listened to one of them, you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to the rest and you deleted all the remaining ones. Hearing his kind voice made you feel empathetic.

           You knew that Joshua did nothing wrong parse. Woozi did tell you that at first Joshua had no idea about Hoshi’s and DK’s little fake out. But still, he was getting in the way. Whenever you saw that he texted you felt your emotional barrier start to waver.

           And you needed to shut that down fast. You did not go an entire week of successfully and emotionlessly ignoring those idiots you lived with for it all to be destroyed by some stupid guitar nerd.

           Even thinking these thoughts made your head start to pound. You needed to stay strong. You needed to-

           BIINGG. You looked down at your phone. A text from Joshua. Speak of the devil.

           I’ll be there in five.            

           You gasped. Be here? Like in the apartment, here? You immediately grabbed your coat and scrambled to get some things together.

           You needed to get out now. It was hard enough to not respond to his texts let alone seeing him in person.

           Where should you go? The coffee shop? No that’s too predictable. The library would be off limits as well. You would hide out in the Art building. Yes. There surely would be an empty studio that you could take cover in until he left.

           Woozi noticed you panicking and you could see him resisting a smirk.

           You bolted out of the room, still putting on your jacket as you ran to the door.

           “Know I just know your avoiding me.” A voice said. You stopped mid-sprint to see Joshua leaning casually on your dinner table. He waved his phone in his hand to you.

           “How did you get in.”

           “Hoshi let me in, of course.”

           You froze. Why did you just engage in conversation? Damn it. You stiffened and you your heels and started back to your bedroom.

           “Whoa, wait. Hold up.” He said, trying to walk after you. But that just made you pick up speed. You managed to fling yourself in your room and shut to door behind you. But at the last second Joshua shoved his stupid foot in the door.

           You pressed all of your body weight against it.

           “Hold up!” Joshua said, trying made the gap wider by pushing his shoe further in.

           Woozi looked up, startled by the sudden noise.

           “Joshua?” Woozi asked, very confused. “What are you-“ But then he caught sight of you, who had one foot on the bed to use as leverage to push up against the door.

           “What the are you doing?” Woozi mouthed to you, gesturing wildly.

           “Dude! Let me in.”

           You shook your head and shot Woozi and pleading look. You really didn’t want to talk to him. “Don’t” You mouthed back .

           “Why are you here?” Woozi asked the question that you had been wondering yourself.

           “Hoshi called me. He wanted me to figure out what’s been going on.”

           You scoffed. Of course that’s why he’s here.
            “At least he’s honest.” Woozi shrugged.

           You stepped away from the door. The door flung open, and Joshua almost fell down. He had also been pressing his body weight against the door

           “Go.” You said, not wanting to say anything more.

           “Why have you been ignoring my calls? Hoshi and DK have been-” You didn’t listen any further. You just put your headphones in. Of course that’s why he came. You shouldn’t expect anything more.

           The headphones were ripped from your ears in a second.

           “What the hell? What’s wrong with you?” Joshua had a look of disgust on his face. “Why can’t you just talk to me?

           You said nothing but just stared blankly in front of you, unseeing.

           “Hello? Are you even going to answer me?”

           Nothing.

           “So this is what you’ve been doing to Hoshi and DK. I see now.” He sounded a bit angry.

           “Yea.” Woozi answered for you.

           “What did you say to her?” Joshua snapped at him.

           “Nothing.” Woozi replied.

           “Obviously it was something. Because she’s acting- “

           “Don’t talk about me like I’m not here.” You said dully, void of any emotion.

           “Now you answer. Care to tell me what the hell is the matter?” Joshua was getting angry. “You don’t return my calls or my texts. Even though I’ve sure I’ve send a hundred of them. The last time I talked to you was when you answered the phone that night you disappeared and all I could hear was you hyperventilating and cr-“

           “Stop.” You interrupted him. “Go.”

           “I don’t understand you.” He said. “Its been a week. What could this have said to make you so upset.” Joshua turned to Woozi. “Sorry man, but- “

           “Whatever.” Woozi said.

           You had already spoken to much. The response was on the tip of your tongue, aching to get out. But you had to swallow it back down. Don’t let him in, remember what you promised yourself to do.

           “I think you should go man” Woozi said.

           Joshua lingered a bit, you could feel his eyes fixed on you. It took a minute before he nodded out. “Tell Hoshi I tried my best, or whatever.” Then he turned to you. “Call me if you ever want to have a civilized conversation like an adult.”

           It was only until you heard the front door closing that you were able to relax.
            “I know what your doing.” Woozi said, “Its not going to work.”

           “What do you know?” You snapped.

           “A lot surprisingly. We’re the same, remember”

           “We aren’t the same.” You scoffed.

           “Hoshi and DK is one thing. But Joshua…?”

           “I just-” You realized you were engaging in conversation again. But you were okay with this. Since there was absolutely a zero percent change that you could ever develop an emotional attachment to Woozi.

           “You just what?”

           “I just no longer want to be friends with them.”

           “I repeat: Hoshi and DK are one thing but Joshua-“

           “I’m done talking to you now.” You said bluntly, and you pressed play on the music for your headphones.

           After a week had passed, Hoshi and DK had almost given up on their efforts. The humor of it faded quickly to them when you were unresponsive. Joshua in turn, stopped trying to contact you as well.

           This was for the best.

           Before you met them, your past roommates and you had gotten along well, but in a kind of professional manner. You had perfected the kind caring exterior while still maintaining an emotional yard length away at all times.

           One night you came back from a late night at the library to find that the boys had their friends over. You knew this even before you walked in, the noise was extremely loud. So you had prepared yourself.

            You took a deep breath and then you entered the apartment and speed walked it directly to your room.

            “Hey! Wait.. where-“ The voice started off as a friendly greeting but then died in confusion. You recognized the voice as Dino’s.

            You were tempted to turn back around but you overcame the urge.  

            You spent the whole night trying to sleep. But you couldn’t. The sound of Joshua’s, Woozi’s and Dino’s laugh made it impossible to clear your mind.

Yea! Hope you gusy like it- i will be posting more frequently now that exams are over. Thank you SOOO much for those who wished me luck on them, it really helped me get throught it.

You guys know the bad Mumford and Sons? Whenever I listen to the song "The Cave" I always think of this story. (HINT HINT HINT)

You can't ever say I don't give you hints....

D.R.R