You woke up still feeling slightly feverish; hot and sweating. While at the same time, feeling strangely cold.  

            . You thought, but you know you didn’t mean it. You were too drained to even care about your state of health. Living was beginning to become draining in itself.

            Maybe you just needed to get out of the apartment. Maybe then you would start to feel better. You had been stuck in his cycle of going to bed to class then back to bed. You could ‘t even pinpoint a time when you went somewhere outside of campus. You thought that maybe getting outside and somewhere new might help you feel better.

You slid out of bed, and saw Woozi asleep at his desk.

            His music equipment was surrounding him and his still had his headphones on. Sheet music was still grasped in his left hand, the music program still pulled up on his computer. He looked like he had stayed up all night making music.

            You grabbed a few things and threw them in your purse before quietly sneaking out, not wanting Hoshi or DK to try to corner you again. Then again, Hoshi wouldn’t.

After the last encounter with Hoshi, Hoshi had stopped even trying to talk to you. In fact, he was more happy to play your game of pretending that they didn’t exist. You went into your kitchen one day, to see Hoshi making dinner. He didn’t speak to you, or even acknowledge that you existed.

            You took the bus downtown this time. You felt too dizzy to walk for that long. Even on the bus, you were shaking with chills even though you were sweating feverishly.

            The coffee shop was welcoming as always, but somehow when you entered this time it felt more drained. The warmth that emitted from the building now felt more like cold greys. This place normally made you feel happy… but now…. you just felt numb.

            You got in line, hoping that a tea would sooth your painful stomach and pounding head.

            A guy got in line behind you. He tripped over the table near where you were in the line and almost fell. He let out a ‘urf’ as he caught himself on you. His chest collided with your back.. If you didn’t brace yourself on the edge of another nearby table, you both would’ve fallen down. You both wavered for a minute, surprised at your fast reflexes.

            “S-sorry.” A soft voice stuttered.

            . No not no, You don’t have the energy to deal with this.

            You ignored him, hoping he wouldn’t notice you. You stared straight ahead.

            “A-are you ok-kay? It was on a-accident.” His soft spoken voice fumbling around.

            You said nothing.

            “I asked i-if you were-“ He tapped you on the shoulder and he got a look at your profile.

            His shy exterior faded. “Oh, its you. Never mind then.”

            You hissed and shrugged your shoulder and his hand that had been resting on it fell away.

            You groaned, shivering slightly. You were feeling horrible and did not need him right now.

            “How can you be cold? You’re wearing like five jackets.” Joshua said, standing next to you in line now.

            You ignored him, as you should.

            “Woah, you aren’t looking so good? Are you okay?” He said, apparently unbothered at your attempts to pretend he didn’t exist. You felt your eyes examining your face. You pulled your hood down further.

            You caught a glimpse of yourself on the mirror that was hanging across the shop. You couldn’t see much except for the fact that you looked pale. Through the mirror, you saw Joshua was wearing a polo shirt that had a nametag attached to it. He must be on break from the guitar shop.

            Good, it would give him a limited amount of time to annoy you.

            You felt another sting in your stomach, and the ringing in your left ear began to grow louder.

            You clenched your teeth, trying not to show any signs of discomfort externally.  Joshua’s eyes were trained on you.

            “Dude, I-“

            The cashier called next and you were too happy to step away from the possibility of conversation. You ordered your  tea and sat down at the nearest fat chair in the corner, choosing this one because it wasn’t surrounded by any other chairs. So even if Joshua wanted sit next to you, he couldn’t.

            You were going to leave anyway, your head was pounding and you felt the room getting hotter. They must’ve kicked the thermostat a few notches up. Surely.

            You could hear Joshua stumbling and stuttering through his order. His quiet voice barely audible against the backdrop of music and conversation.

            Seeing it now, what Woozi said last time really clicked for you. He really did seem a different person, he even held himself differently. His resting face had even changed to one of anxiousness, instead of the cool smirk that you knew.

            You took off a few of your jackets before prompted putting your hoodie back on.

            Joshua began to walk your way, you turned, pretending that you hadn’t been observing him.

            He took the nearest armchair and drug it next to yours before sitting down leisurely. His entire mannerisms had just changed in a split second. 

            “There’s a bit of a wait.” He smirked. “They’re understaffed.”

            You crossed your legs and stared out the window to your right.

            “Wow, look at you being all cool. Pretending to be mute? Or deaf? Or are you doing a double whammy right now?”

            You wished he would stop talking, your head was pounding. The scene outside was starting to become fuzzy, as if you were looking at it through foggy glass. The ringing in your ears was growing, and becoming painful now. You felt like your stomach would rip open from the pain.

            You doubled over and held your head in your hands. How hot did they keep the temperature in this place? You felt as if the heat was suffocating you.

            You ripped off your outer jacket, only the hoodie remaining now. But you felt no relief, it was as if the heat was trapped inside your body.

            “Woah, Woah.” Joshua seemed to be talking to you in the tunnel, his voice was distant and distorted.   “You don’t look so good.”

            You were sweating so much that your hair was sticking to forehead.

            You needed to get out of here, get back to the apartment and lie down or something.

            You stood up and the whole restaurant seemed to shake around you. The floor was moving in waves under your feet. Joshua’s concerned face was weaving in and out of your plane of vision. Your eyes were unable to decide where gravity was.

            Your weak legs gave way; you feel but you caught something on the way down.

            Your distorted vision was freckled with splotches of white. People were shouting and yelling but you felt like they were doing so while you were underwater. They’re faces were morphed and their words were incomprehensible.  They seemed so far away.

            Your mind cleared of all thought, as darkness started to creep in your vision.

            “STAY WITH ME.” You could hear a voice above all of the others, but you just let yourself be taken away by the void.

            You could hear yelling still, but it was getting farther away now. The voices all merging into one big drone. You could hear loud noises, a fire truck maybe admits the various sounds, but  you no longer cared.

            You felt people’s hands on you, shaking you and trying to talk to you. Why couldn’t they leave you alone? Couldn’t they see you wanted to sleep?

            But it didn’t take long for the noises to be drowned out by the consuming silence.

            The mindlessness devoured you. And you let it take over, with no resistance.

           The soundless darkness was disrupted by the most horrific smell.

           Something in you was jolted and all of your senses came back to you in burst. You heard yourself yell from surprise. The light was too bright for your eyes to adjust. You started to panic, your heart pounding from your chest.

           You jumped upright. And suddenly, everything came into view.

           Two men were looking at you. You looked around rapidly to see that you were in the back of a truck, no, ambulance. One of the men was throwing something in the trash and you saw it was smelling salts.

           “WHERE AM-“ You were yelling. How did you get here? Your head was pounding and you felt a sharp pain on your side. You suddenly felt dizzy and wanted to lie back down.

            “Her pupils are no longer dilated.” You heard one the men say to the other. And the other man began inspecting you while jotting things down in his notes.

            Two pairs of hands then forced you so you were fully sitting up. You tried to lift your head up, but even your head felt like it was made of stone. Why couldn’t they have just left you sleeping?

            “Can you tell me your name?” He asked slowly.

            You tried to speak but your tongue felt dry and rigid, now

            “Can you tell me how old you are?”

            “Twenty!” You croaked, feeling more panicked than ever now that you could speak. “Where am i?” You yelled, you looked straight ahead and saw through the windows on the back. You were on the highway and driving fast. Now that you were aware of everything, you could hear sirens, the crackling sound of a talking radio, and  a loud rhythmic beeping noise.

            “You’re in an ambulance. You passed out.”

            You looked up to see one the of the men in scrubs adjusting some machine to your left. You looked and followed the trail to see that it was connected to you. An IV was sticking in your arm, filling you with clear liquid. This machine was the source of the beeping noise.

            “W-what?” You groaned, feeling lightheaded and dizzy.    

            The men then began to ask you various questions. They asked you if your chest hurt. No. They asked you if you felt loss of feeling in your limbs. No.

            They asked you so many questions, and the man to your right jotted something down after ever answer you gave.

            “So here’s the option you have.” One of the men said seriously. “You can go to the hospital and get yourself checked out, or now that your conscious you have the right to refuse treatment.”

            “Treatment for what?” You asked. “I just passed out because I have the flu or something. I’m fine.”
            “You might have passed out because of the infection of your wounds.” He pointed down. You looked to see that the the paramedics had rolled up your shirt to expose the rough and raw flesh on the left side of your stomach. You looked down to also see that they had taken off your shoes, they apparently had found the same wounds on them as well.

            “The infection of your wounds, since there are so many of them,” He gestured to your left ear as well. “caused your body of overheat. Your immune system can’t fight this off on its own without antibiotics.” He looked at your seriously. “As a professional, I would recommend proceeding to the ER for treatment.”

            “And if I don’t?” You asked, scared for the answer.

            “The infection is bound to spread, and you most likely will pass out again.”

            You bit your lip, thinking about it. You really should go, but you didn’t want to. Your head was hurting and you shouldn’t think straight. You really wished they would turn of the siren, or that darn machine so you could think clearly.

            “You would need to give me your answer fairly quickly, we are almost at the hospital.”

            “What do you need to think about! Go to the hospital!” A voice spoke up loudly.

            You looked up to see that a person was sitting in the seat next to the paramedic.

            “Joshua? What are you doing here?” You asked with hide eyes, you jumped a bit.

            “You passed out! What was I supposed to do? Let you go alone?” He said.

            The paramedic brought you attention back to him. “We need you to make a choice.”

            “How long will I be there?” You asked.

            “I couldn’t tell you. The doctor will probably want to get blood work done just to rule out any other factors.” The other paramedic reached over you to grab the arm that didn’t have an IV in it. He put a blood pressure cuff over your forearm and began to take your blood pressure while the other was talking to you. “It is unlikely that you would stay overnight. After the blood work would rule other possible diagnoses out, you will probably just receive an antibiotic and then we would discharge you.”

            You tried to think critically but Joshua keep shaking your ankle and mouthing, with the frustration like an anxious mother, “GO. TO. THE. HOSPITAL.”

            You gave in. “Take me to the hospital.” The paramedic then gave you some papers to sign, agreeing to let them treat you.  After you signed those he gave you some other forms to fill out your general information. He explained that it would be quicker to get those done here instead of at the hospital.

            “What is that” You pointed to the IV bag full of clear liquid that you were hooked up to, as you filled in your insurance information.

            “Saline. Just water to get your body hydrated.” He said shortly. “Is there any dangerous situation that you are in to cause such an injury.” He said this robotically, and you could tell he said this to all of his patients. “Abusive relationship? Work injury?”

            You were about to answer but heard the other paramedic ask Joshua. “Is there any history of heart problems in your family?” Joshua looked shocked at the sudden question and froze instantly, a look of blind dread on his face.

            “No.” You answered the paramedic you were talking to, then you tapped the paramedic that was cornering Joshua. “No, we don’t have heart problems.”

            Both of the paramedics looked down to jot your answer down of their clipboards. And Joshua nudged your ankle discretely.

            “Brother.” He mouthed, and he pointed at himself.

            Your jaw dropped. “You told them you were my brother?” You mouthed back.

            He smiled uneasily. “How do you think I got here?” He pointed at his seat in the ambulance.

            What an idiot. 

            “History of asthma or breathing related problems?” The paramedic asked Joshua again, not looking up from his keyboard. Joshua looked up to you with wide eyes.

            You shook your head, ever so slightly.

            “No.” Joshua answered, but his ‘no’ was stated more as if he was asking the paramedic a question, not as if he was telling him a face. The paramedic looked up, and gave Joshua a questioning look. Joshua

            “Are you sure?” The paramedic asked seriously.

            Joshua laughed nervously. “Yes.” He said in a strangely high pitched voice.

            The paramedic just started expectantly at him, obviously confused.

            “I mean, I was saying yes to no. I wasn’t saying no to no.” Joshua spat out quickly. “I mean, I was saying yes when I said no. So the ‘no’ was right. I was agreeing with the no. I am sure of that, because I am her brother obviously. So therefore I know- “

            “There’s no breathing problems in my family.” You interrupted Joshua before his rambling became unstoppable. “Excuse my brother, he’s a little… well, you know.”

            After that, the paramedic stopped directing his questions towards Joshua, and just asked them to you directly. .

            When you got the the hospital, the paramedics recommended that you be wheeled in the entrance. You tried to tell them that you were doing fine but they insisted. You assumed it must be procedure or something. So you got in a chair and Joshua pushed you.

            They put you in a ‘room.’ You could hardly call it a room due to the fact that the only thing separating you from other patients were curtains. The area was small. Just big enough to fit a bed, an IV and two chairs.

            The doctor came in and explained to you what the first responders had already told you in the ambulance. Once she was done, the doctor stood up from his chair, and clapped her hands. “Alrighty then, the nurse will be in in about a half an hour to get started on blood work.”

            The doctor left and the nurse stayed behind, pressing buttons to the machine that they had connected you too.

            Man did you feel like . You were starting to feel better after the liquids they gave you.

            The nurse then left, and you were alone with Joshua.

            “You told them I was your sister?” Was the first thing you could say.

            “I thought that if I wasn’t family they wouldn’t allow me to go in the ambulance, so I lied. But I googled it-” He waved his phone with a lopsided smile. “they let anyone sit in the back of those things.”

            “I can’t believe you lied.”

            “It was instinctive. You were unconscious and they were taking you away and he just asked me we were related. And I said yes.”

            “Joshua Hong a liar?” You gasped sarcastically. “And here I was thinking you were flawless.”

            “I am flawless.” He grinned.  “How did you get those wounds?” He pointed.

            “A few weeks ago.” You said, “I fell on gravel.”

            “First you burnt your hand, and now this. Rough first semester.”

            “Maybe I could have them look at my hand while I’m here.”

            “But you didn’t think to sanitize them? Any of them?” He sounded scolding now, pointed at your now bandaged wounds.

            “Yes, mom.” You groaned. “I did sanitize it.”

            “Apparently not very well.” He huffed. “What did you sanitize it with?”

            You wined as you said this, anticipating his response “Well, uh. Funny story actually.” You laughed uneasily. “I cleaned it with….uh, paper towels and water?” Your voice became quiet.

            His brows met in the middle of his forehead. “What? How can you call that sanitation? That does nothing!”

            “I was going to do a better job, but then I just…forgot.”

            “How can you forget to clean wounds? If I was scrapped up that bad it would be on the top of my priority list.” He said incredulously. “How can you be so smart but so stupid and the same time?”

            “Your acting like my mom.”

            “I’m acting like your brother-”He shot you a wink.

            You were starting to feel cold and you spotted another folded up blanket at your feet. You tried to move to reach it but as you bent over to reach it the wounds in your stomach creased. You hissed in pain, but you pushed through the discomfort anyway.

            Joshua jumped up from his chair and got the blanket before you could reach it. “What are you doing? The doctor said that you need to avoid reopening your wounds. Lay back down, you’ll hurt yourself.” He laid the blanket over you.

            “I can do it.” You said in rebellion, but you had already given in and had laid down.

            “Your stubbornness is what got you here.” He gestured to your bandaged feet. “You need to let people help you once and a while.” He started rummaging through the cabinet next to your bed.

            “I don’t need anyone else’s help.”

            “That mentality will get you hospitalized again.” He pulled out another blanket from the cabinet and started to unfold that one as well.

            “I’m good now, thanks.” You stopped him. He groaned, he had already unfolded the blanket. He laid it on your bed and started to fold it up again.
            “Do you need any water?” He looked at you seriously. “Food? Or something?”

             “No, I’ll be fine. I’ll live.”

            “I wasn’t asking if you were going to live I was asking if you were comfortable. “

            “I will be fine. “You reassured him, almost aggressively.

            “I’m just worried.” He said honestly, and he looked it. “It’s not everyday someone collapses while trying to ignore you.”

            Oh . You had completely forgotten that you were supposed to be ignoring him. You had been having a casual conversation with him, acting like you did before.

            What do you do now? You can’t suddenly start pretending he doesn’t exist just because he mentioned it, that would be too much of an abrupt change, and he might catch on.

            “Oh, don’t you dare start ignoring me now. No, way man. Come on! I came with you to the hospital, I at least deserve a decent conversation. Also, you can’t ignore a guy who lied to professionals for you.”

            “I never asked you to lie to professionals.” You repressed a smirk.

            “Well, you were unconscious, so you couldn’t exactly ask for much at the time.” He said dryly.

            You laughed at his joke. “See!” He said pointing to you while you chuckled. “I made you laugh.”

            “Okay fine.” You gave in. “I won’t ignore you in the hospital.”

            He started to smile but then it quickly disappeared. “In the hospital?” He quoted you.

            You couldn’t look him in the eye, you looked down at your hands as you said, “Once we leave the hospital, things should return to normal.”                  

            “The ‘you pretending I don’t exist’ normal? Or the ‘normal’ normal?” His face was falling with every word you spoke.

            You didn’t answer him; you didn’t want to say it aloud.

            “Don’t say anything. I think I got my answer.” He looked at you with drooping eyes, but he tried to smile all the same “But we got till then, don’t we? Let’ make the best of it.” He pulled the chair closer to your bed.

            The sight optimism at which dragged the chair closer to you set a fire in your chest. You ignored the feeling. Must heartburn or something.

            “So are you going to tell me exactly why you are ignoring me.”

            “Now your pushing it.” You said, trying to sound kind and failing

            The nurse came back in and she drew your blood. Joshua wheeled himself out of the nurse’s way, and watched queasily as she drew your blood.

            “Look away.” You told him. “You look like your going to be sick.”

            And Joshua looked in horror as the nurse drew your blood, but he seemed to be unable to tear his gaze away from the sight. “Doesn’t it hurt?” He asked.

            “Not really. Dude-”You threw a pen at him, that hit him in the face. “Stop looking.”

            The nurse left with the vials of blood she had taken, and said that she would return once she had gotten the results back

            But before she left, the nurse turned to Joshua who was investigating the machine that you were hooked up to with great interest.

“And you, make sure she gets some food in her and lots of liquids. If the swelling in her wounds increases, you need to contact us immediately.” You assumed she was talking about after you left.

            Joshes looked confused. “Oh, I won’t be taking care of her.” He said.

            “Well, tell your parents that. She needs to take it easy for quite some time. I would also avoid walking long lengths for a few weeks, it would make it harder for the wounds on her feet to heal”

            Joshua looked surprised for a minute, which he tried to cover up poorly with a smile. “Oh, yea our parents. I’ll make sure they get the message.” He couldn’t stop the corners of his mouth from curling up

            You could’ve hit him. Does he have to make it any more obvious that you weren’t siblings?

            “Brothers.” You scoffed at the nurse, trying to look annoyed. “They don’t ever want to do anything.”

            The nurse just smiled courteously and left.

            “How are your midterms going?” Joshua asked, trying to make conversation.

            “Officially horrible.” You groaned snuggling up with your blankets.

            Joshua nodded. “Yea, Woozi told me that you were failing-“

            “I am not!” You snapped defensively. “Well, kinda. They are going down, I’m only failing one class.”

            He grimaced. “Your failing one class?

            “Lets not talk about that.” You said. “Besides that, you believed Woozi?”

            “Yea?” He said confused. “Why?”

            “Don’t trust what he says.” You warned him. “He’s a lair.”

            “He may be a jerk. But he’s never lied.” Joshua said earnestly. “He’s honest.  If ever want brutal honesty, I know where to go.”
            “He’s never lied to you?” You asked skeptically. “I don’t believe that for a second.”

            “He did once.” He smirked. And you looked at him expectantly Once in junior year.” He smiled. “I had liked this one girl for a few years, and I was trying to build up the courage to ask her to prom. Woozi told me that she was gay, and demanded that I ‘get over her’.” He laughed. “She wasn’t gay, of course. When I found out that she wasn’t I asked her to prom and got outright rejected. Oh man, I was crushed. She told me something along the lines of ‘I have higher standards than you.’”

           He laughed harder. Apparently, the memory didn’t phase him anymore. “When Woozi saw me that night I was devastated because of it. He told me that he only lied to try to steer me away from danger. I was angry at the time. but I get it now.”

            “But he’s never lied to you... just because?”

            “Woozi doesn’t lie. He tells people how he sees them. If he lied to you, he probably believed the lie himself. “

           He paused for a minute. “Why? Did he lie to you or something?”

           You shrugged not wanting to talk about Woozi anymore. Joshua adjusted his shirt and you saw that he still had his nametag on.

           “Oh my God, aren’t you supposed to be at work?” You said pointing at the nametag on his chest.

            He looked down. “Oh yea, When I called them from inside an ambulance, they were more than understanding.”

            “You didn’t have to come.” You said

            “I don’t know what kind of person who think I am, but I don’t exactly leave passed out friends alone.” He joked flashing a smile.

            “I would’ve been with professionals.” You said.

             “But what if it was something serious? You would’ve been all alone.” He responded in a similar serious tone.

            “That’s why I would’ve been fine. I would’ve been alone.”

            He looked at you with pity in his eyes. “Is that what you think? That you don’t need anyone? You will live a sad life if you live your life that way.”

            “Not really.” You said, not meeting his eyes.

            “Would it make you feel better if I left?” He adjusted himself on the seat, ready to leave at your response.

            “No,” You said quietly. “Now that you’re here, you should stay. You can leave me alone once we are out of the hospital, but until then…stay”

            He smirked.

            “I dunno,” He leaned back in the chair, so that only two legs were touching the ground. “Talking with you for an hour? It’ll be difficult, talk about boring.”

           Hey guys its author here :).

           Sooo update on the story... yesterday I stayed up till 4 am making an detailed outline of the story, I've known the whole plot from the beggining but I didn't know exactly how many chapters. Turns out there are around 35, give or take a few. I'm nervous writing that much because I don't want to let you guys down. Its my first story here, (or anywhere) and I am shocked at the support I am gettting.

           If I ever start to lack in my quality or consistancy along the way I want you guys to let me know. Your feedback really drives me, and whether good or bad I always use it to improve.

           Sorry for the horrifically long author note. <3