“Oh my gosh if they are going to take any longer, I will eat my beanie.” Joshua groaned.

            You had no idea that just getting blood samples back would take this long. The nurse had come in to apologize, saying that there was a lot of urgent blood work that needed to be done that day. And since yours wasn’t exactly an emergency, yours got put to the bottom of the list.

            You sent Joshua had run down to the cafeteria to see what they had. And when he returned, he came back with boxes of Chinese food.

            “Cafeteria food was severely disappointing. But they had a Chinese restaurant across the street, so why not?” He had explained to you as he set down the boxes on your bed.

            He came back with a large rice and a wonton soup for you. “I didn’t know what you liked so I figured the basic would be good.”

            He, however had bought himself a large shrimp fried rice, which you were very jealous of. You kept trying to lean over your bed to steal some with your chopsticks, but he had strange lightning fast reflexives. This was strange because you’ve seen the boy throw a football. He certainly didn’t have these good of reflexives when you saw him break his glasses due to a football to the face.

            “I bought you food, and you aren’t even eating it.” He whined, while trying to repress a joking smile. “I smell ungrateful.”

            “You smell to much white rice” You said jabbing it sadly with your fork. “Just give me one shrimp.” You tried to pout.

            “That is the ugliest puppy face I’ve ever seen.” He said, throwing a shrimp on your plate.

            “But it worked.” You smiled eating the shrimp.

            “Consider it charity.” He mumbled, through a mouthful of food.

            You should feel guilty, letting yourself talk to someone again. But you couldn’t help indulging yourself. And that’s exactly what this was, a cheat.  Like how girls cheat on their diets. It doesn’t mean that the diet was ending, they were just indulging yourself.

            And this is what this is; an indulgent. You weren’t ending your promise completely; you were just cheating. Taking a break.  And after you were done at the hospital, things would go back to normal. You would go back to ignoring him, but for now you didn’t want to think about it. You just wanted to pretend that everything was okay again.

            “The sun is almost setting.” You said through a mouthful of food. Pointing out the small window. Joshua looked over his shoulder to where you were pointing.

            “Ah, I forgot I have to call someone to pick us up.” He said, pulling out his phone.

            “Don’t you have your car?” You asked.

            “I came with you here in the ambulance, my car is still downtown at the guitar store.”

            Joshua called Coups, but he didn’t answer. Joshua commented that he might be overworked at the bike shop. Joshua contemplated calling Jeonghan, but he said that Jeonghan would covering his shift at the store, so he wouldn’t answer his phone.

            Joshua commented that out of his thirteen friends from high school, only a handful of them lived within suitable driving distance. He was worried if he called them and asked them for the favor, it would burden them.

            That fact that Joshua never questioned that his friends would pick him up or not, was telling. He knew that they would, no matter how far away.

            He knew for certain that his friends would pick him up, so he decided not to tell them. He told you that he was worried they would drop what they were doing just to come get him. And he didn’t want to put the pressure on them like that.

            Man, what you would give for a friendship like that.

            Joshua was about four attempted calls in when someone picked up.

            “Hello? Oh man, are you doing anything right now?” Joshua asked. “No? Sweet! Okay.. well I need you to help me out. I promise I’ll treat you to dinner if you do this for me. Okay? I need you to go the the guitar shop and bring my car to the hospital.”

            You heard a yell and Joshua winced away from the phone. “I’m not the one hurt, calm down. I just went with someone in the ambulance and I left my car there, and now we have no way back into town.”

            The person talked for a minute and then Joshua smiled. “Yes, I have an extra set of keys in the staff room. I owe you one, seriously. I’ll text you when we get discharged. Thanks.”

            Joshua hung up. “So I got a ride.”

            “Do I know him?” You asked.

            “Well I called Hoshi and DK,” He started. “But they didn’t answer so…”
            “No! Why did you have to ruin this? Things were going so well.” You rested your head on the pillow behind you.
            “Come on, you seriously can’t dislike him that much.” Joshua groaned.

            You glared at him, holding up your bandaged hand. The nurse had been kind enough to put some healing ointment on it. The nurse said that burnt wasn’t severe, but that the ointment would help relieve the moderate discomfort. You should be drawing good in a few. “Besides, its mutual.”

            He opened his mouth with a face that said he was going to disagree, but he shut it quickly. “Okay, I’ll give you that one. Why can’t you guys just get along?”

            “The everything about him just screams for me to punch him in the face.”

            “An impulse you should repress.” Joshua added quickly.

            “Ah, I’m over punching him. It really didn’t do anything. Besides I’m sure it did more harm to me than him. My knuckles were hurting for days after that.” You said defeated, but then you stiffened up considerably. “He’s not even worth hitting anyway.”

            Joshua snorted as he tried to swallow down his laughter. “Funny, Woozi said the same thing about you.”

            “He’s just afraid to be beaten by a girl.” You said huffily, ignoring what Joshua had just said.

            The nurse returned to tell you that your blood samples had all come back negative. The doctor after that, came in and prescribed you with an antibiotic. The doctor then told Joshua in great length of how he was supposed to take care of his sister while she was ill.

            Joshua, having the worst poker face ever, looked as if a gun was being held to his head the entire time. He looked as if he believed that the doctor could smell the genetics off of him.  Ready for the doctor to pounce on him at anytime.

            Thankfully, you were there to save his sorry to say “My brother is a bit anxious around strangers.” Even though It was a lie, it wasn’t until after you said it that you realized the truth in it.

            The nurse left, saying that she would return with the paperwork and your antibiotic.

            “How long do you think they will be this time?” Joshua groaned. He was almost asleep in his chair.

            “Half an hour?” You guessed.

            But to your surprise the nurse came back within ten minutes with the paperwork and a bottle full of pills.

            “Make sure your parents keep a close eye on her. Her progression for the first few days are essential.” The nurse explained how if you got better within the first few days that meant the antibiotics were working. If not, she said that you needed to call the doctor to try a different prescription.

You slid out of bed and when your bare bandaged feet touched the ground you hissed from the cold contact of the tiles. Joshua immediately jumped up from his seat, obviously mistaking your hiss of surprise as one for pain.

            “Are you okay?” Joshua asked, grabbing your elbow to support you.

            Out of instinct, you drove your elbow into his stomach. He let out a yell and you gasped in surprise.

            “Why? Why did you do that?” Joshua groaned hoarsely, leaning over holding his stomach. “I was just helping you… oh, and on a full stomach too.”

            “Sorry, sorry!” You said, more shocked than Joshua at your actions.

            “Those are some killer instincts you got there. What were you in the navy for a period of time?”

            “Something like that.” You replied. “I am so sorry.”

            Joshua straightened himself out with a pained expression, and looked at you cautiously. “Remind me to never get you angry, holy crap that hurt.”

            Joshua insisted on him wheeling you out in the wheel chair. You told him you were fine and that you could walk perfectly fine but he insisted. He said that it made him look more manly while he was doing it. He commented that the nurses would think he was “oh so caring and hot.” But you couldn’t help but laugh when he said that.

            You agreed to let him do it. When he wheeled you all the way to the exit, Joshua called Woozi to let him know you both were ready to get picked up.

            “Woozi said it will be about a half an hour. He has to take a bus downtown to get my car and then drive it here.”

            “I must say, I don’t think the wheelchair technique worked. I saw no nurses gazing at you lovingly.”

            “You just didn’t see them.” He scoffed. “I made some steamy eye contact with one nurse.”

            You snorted. Steamy eye contact, wow.

            Joshua helped you out of the wheelchair and you both sat on a couch next to exit while watching for Joshua’s car to pull up.

            “I don’t want this to end, you know.” Joshua said seriously. “Us…talking.”

            You stared down at your hands, unable to meet his gaze.

            “I mean, it was fun, right? I had fun.” Joshua nudged you with his elbow. Trying to get you to smile.

            “I was fun but-” You were not smiling.

            “Why does there always have to a ‘but’ with you? It was fun! You admitted it, so why do you have to complicate things? If it was fun and you want to do it again, then you should. End of story.”

            You knew what he was trying to do. “I told you. I can’t do that.”

            “Why not?” Joshua sounded a bit angry. “Huh?”

            “Just because.” You heard Joshua groan. “This was a one time deal only. I told you once we leave that door, things are going back to normal.” You pointed at the exit of the hospital.

            “Your normal. Not my normal. This right here.” He pointed at the couch on which you two were talking. “Is my normal. Because ‘normal’ is communication.”

            “I told you at the beginning that it would be like this. So don’t act so upset, I told you this would happen.” You said defensively.

            “I thought you would change your mind!” He said throwing his hands up in the air. “I thought that maybe you would see that I’m not a bad friend.”

            You groaned. He was still under the impression that you were ignoring him because you were angry at him for some reason.

            “I wish you would just let me know what happened so we can fix it. It’s not healthy to hold a grudge.” Ever the psychology major, Joshua.

            “I’m not holding a grudge over you.”

            “But your angry with me.”

            “I’m not angry with you either.”

            “Then why the hell are you doing this? You are so confusing. Back there, in the room. It was like everything was normal again. We were laughing and joking and you seemed fine. Why can’t that just continue three more steps.” He pointed to exit door less than a foot away from both of you.

            “I made a promise to myself.”

            “That you wouldn’t talk to me?” Joshua’s looked confused. His eyebrows were lowered over his eyes. “Just tell me what I did!”

            “You did nothing! It’s my problem not yours.”

            “Well its affecting me. “Joshua said. “So all that time, in there, you never thought about changing your mind? Even for a second? You never thought that maybe-” Joshua looked at your stone cold face. “I see.” He said quietly. “You only think about yourself don’t you?”

            “You don’t think that this might be hurting me? Heck, I got in the ambulance with you and stayed with you here for almost nine hours and now you’re just tossing me to the curb?”

            “Joshua. I don’t know what to say.”
            “Well better say it now, because apparently this will be the last time we talk. Unless, of course you want to change that.” He spat sarcastically.

            “I can’t-“
            “Hell no. Seriously?  Is this it? You plan on doing this forever? So is this the last time we will ever talk?” He said with wide wyes.

            “Most likely.”

            “You’re unbelievable.”

            “Josh,” You said quietly. “Listen, you seriously did nothing wrong. I just… need some space, that’s all.”

            “Space? More like isolation.” Joshua spat, and then he snapped his fingers and turned to you. “But that’s what you want, isn’t it!” He said with a voice of realization. “What you said earlier, ‘I don’t need anyone else’s help.’” He quoted you. “What you really meant was ‘I don’t need anyone’ right?”

            You blushed. “And if that’s true?”

            “Then that’s completely absurd! Is that why your pushing me away? Because you think you can just do everything on your own?” He said loudly.

            “I can do everything on my own!” You half yelled back. “You’re right, I don’t need anyone else!”

            “Your going to live a sad life if you continue this.” Joshua said. “Pushing people out and everything.”

            “It’s for the best.”

            “For who? Who in this situation wins?! Certainly not you or anyone else in this picture.”

            “I’m done talking about this.” With every word you felt your heart beat faster. No no, this is why you avoided Joshua in the first place.

            “Well, I am not.” Joshua said. “Why are you shutting people out? Is it because you think that having friends is weak?”

            “No. Stop talking.”

            “Or maybe you think that we aren’t good enough for you? Is that it?”

            “NO! Stop talking!”

            “When what is it?” Joshua was half yelling now. “Help me understand.”

            You stood up suddenly. You needed to get away from Joshua, you knew he wouldn’t let this go. You needed to get away, but where? There was nowhere to go.

            Your body was shaking, and your head was pounding again. Every inch of your concentration was focused on repressing.

            Don’t think too much about what he is saying. Ignore it, keep everything shoved down.

            Joshua stood up. “Why can’t you just tell me?”

            “Because you aren’t my friend!” You yelled at him.

            He seemed to freeze. He flinched at your words as if they bit him as you said it. He stood there, frozen, the words still processing in his mind.

            But you couldn’t stop yourself. “None of you are my friends. You never were!”

            And in that moment you saw an expression on Joshua’s face. The same expression that you wore the night that Woozi told you about Hoshi and DK. The same defeated type of sadness crept over his face.

            He took a step back from you, letting his hand drop from your shoulder.

            “Okay,” He said, barely audible for you to hear him. “At least your honest.”

            You were tempted to feel bad, but you stopped yourself. What? It was true. You had decided that night when you ran and got all scrapped up that you didn’t need friends. You had no friends, they were irrelevant.

            Joshua included. No matter how much you wished that this didn’t apply to him, it had to. Him especially.

            “I know that you’re just saying this. You don’t mean it.” Joshua said his face still fallen. “But be a bit nicer, would ya?”

            The innocence in his words stabbed you like a wet knife.

            “Woozi’s here.” Joshua said, as a you heard a car honking outside. You wanted to quickly say something to Joshua before you went in the car but you couldn’t think of anything.

            Joshua helped you into the front seat of the car, silently. When Woozi saw you he turned around to look at Joshua in the back seat. “Really?” Woozi spat. “This is the ‘friend’? Why didn’t you tell me?”
            “If I had told you, would you have even come?” Joshua countered.

            “Oh course, I would’ve come for you. But this thing” He motioned toward you. “would’ve stayed here.” Get out of my car.” Woozi spat at you.

            “It’s my car actually.” Joshua said, putting his hand on your shoulder.

            Woozi groaned as he put the car in drive and pulled out. “But why does she have to be in the front seat?”

            The whole ride back into town was silent. Woozi casually made comments to Joshua, who merely grunted in response.

            “Okay, what’s up with you two?” Woozi hissed a red light. “You couldn’t make it more obvious that something is wrong.” He turned to you, “Are you terminally ill or something?”

            “No, she was just in the hospital because of an infected wound. But missy here, is still giving me the silent treatment.” Joshua answered. “That’s what. But we were talking fine a half an hour ago.”

 Shut up, you wanted to say. Don’t bring Woozi into this….3

            “You’re still ignoring him after he went into the ambulance with you?” Woozi said, glancing at you. This made you nervous, he should keep his eyes on the road. The car was in a dangerous intersection. “Cold- blooded.” He hissed.

            Even though you’ve allowed yourself to speak to Woozi previously, you couldn’t defend yourself right now with Joshua in the car. You could hear Joshua already; Wait, him? You are talking to him and not me? But you hate him! Exactly, Joshua.

            You were silent the whole way, and when you got in town, Joshua dropped you off at the bus stop, telling you that he needed to stop by the guitar store before he headed home.

            You got on the bus with Woozi and you sat down on a seat. Surprisingly, Woozi sat next to you.

            “How long are you really going got keep this up?” Woozi asked.

            “I told you this earlier, till the end of the semester.” You said quietly, looking out into the darkness through the window.

            He turned to you, you could feel his eyes on the back of your head. But you just continued to avoid his gaze. “Why exactly is it till the end of the semester. What’s so special about then?” He sounded suspicious.

            You sighed, knowing that lying to him would do you no good. He would see right through it. “Because at the end of the semester, I’m leaving.”

            “You’re moving out?” Woozi’s eyes were wide.

            “Yes. Don’t act too happy about it or I’ll punch you.” You turned your head to the side to briefly glare at him.

            “So, that’s it? You’re just giving up?”

            “I’m not giving up…”

            “Its sure sounds like it. Like your running away from your problems.”

            “I’m not running away! I just don’t think this place is for me.”

            “Then where are you going to live then?”

            “What does it matter to you?” You snapped.

            “Because your hurting my friend. Did you even see his face? Seriously, he went to the hospital with you, why can’t you just talk to the guy?”

            “It’s more complicated than you think.”

            “Well right now, all I know is that you-” Woozi shoved you harshly into the window, your head hit the plane of glass. “-are causing my best friend some extra right now that he doesn’t need.”

            “Hey, don’t push me around, I just got out of the hospital!”

            “You can’t blame anyone but yourself! You let your wounds get this bad, and now you want my pity- “ 

            “I don’t want your pity.” You growled under your breath, leaning in close to him.

            “Yea, sorry. I’ll just leave that to Hoshi and DK.” Woozi said.

            You felt a spark start to ignite in your chest. “If we weren’t in public I would punch you.”

            “Careful, I bite back.”
            You huffed and turned your back on him.

            The rest of the bus ride was silent, both of your sat with your bodies opposing one another. You had pressed yourself as far as you could against the window and Woozi had half of his hanging of of the other end of the seat. With the space between you, a whole person could’ve sat between you.

            When the bus stopped off at campus, Woozi got off first. And you expected him to take off jogging. To get as away from you before you could even get off. There were three people in-between you two in line to get off the bus, so there was more than enough time, for him to get a head start away from you.

            But when you got off you saw Woozi waiting for you. “You just had to let three people pass in front of you, didn’t you?” He scoffed as you both started walking to your apartment.

            You didn’t respond.

            “You know, you could just, I don’t know…apologize to Joshua.” Woozi offered.

            “I’m not apologizing.”

            “But you want to.” Woozi pointed out, you looked at him in surprise.

            “How did you-“

            “Similar minds.” He said, “You and I. We both want to say we’re sorry but we don’t exactly know how to get across what we mean. Or we do now how, and our pride gets in the way.” His voice was unusually hesitant.

            You stared at him in bewilderment. You ignored that fact that everything he just said was correct, you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. “That makes no sense.”

            “It makes perfect sense and you know it. You just don’t want me know I’m right. And you know how I know that? Because I do the same.”

            “I also happen to know that now you are just being obnoxious. Once is almost cool, twice is boring. Three times it gets on my nerves.”

            “Well, I won’t stop until you admit that I’m right.”

            You laughed. “Over my dead body.”

            “How did I know you were going to say that?” Woozi shot you a lopsided grin.

            “Stop smoking.” You sharply diverted the conversation. “You smoked one before you came, didn’t you?”

            This time he looked at you in surprise. “How did you know that.”

            “Because we’re the same­- no, you idiot. Your clothes reek of cigarette smoke. I don’t want to choke in my sleep because someone decided to have four cigarettes in a row.”

            “I had three.” 

            “Like that makes a difference.”

Thanks for reading as always. The next chapter you guys will get kind of a resloution.

:)