I watch Hanbin’s chest heaving gently upwards and then downwards.

His presence at the corner of this room feels almost routine nowadays.

I promised myself that I would be stronger than this, but the walls that I built shakes dangerously whenever Hanbin comes around. I don’t even know why.

When my eyes travel back up to Hanbin’s face, he is already awake and is intently watching me.

“You’re awake,” I mutter, pushing myself into a sitting position.

“I couldn’t really sleep. It was too cold last night,” he states casually.

I glance down, noticing his coat still enclosing my body underneath my blankets. I start taking it off but he stops me, saying, “It’s fine. You were shivering all night.”

“Thanks,” I say, guiltily. Why am I caught in this situation again? Why is Hanbin always there when I’m falling apart?

I’ve lived months crying without a saviour and I came out fine. Now with Hanbin, I’m starting to hope he arrives with a cape like a superhero whenever a bad thing occurs. This is bad.

Real life isn’t this sweet. I know that by experience.

“I don’t understand why you’re so nice to me, Hanbin,” I tell him, sighing defeatedly.

“I told you already,” he says with a determined expression.

I look at him expectantly.

“You’re like a sister to me,” he continues, giving me a smile at the end of the sentence.

My stomach lurches in disappointment. “Sister?” I repeat, incredulous. Well…okay…

“Great,” I say without much enthusiasm. “I need to get changed…so…”

He makes his way out of my room. Before leaving, he halts under the doorway.

“Take care of yourself, okay,” he says gravely. I look up at him in wonder.

“Alright, sister?”

I can’t stop myself from rolling my eyes. “Get out of my room please.”

***

“It was so amazing!” Min exclaims as she clings to my arm like a helpless child. “Thank you so much!”

“No problem…” I mutter dispiritedly.

I’m glad she had so much fun watching GOT7 but I feel remorseful for not accompanying Munhee there myself. My options were limited though.

“I think Munhee had fun too,” Min added, noticing my dejected aura. “We bought light sticks and everything. We were screaming to every word!”

Now she’s pushing it and making me jealous.

“Alright, alright,” I say, unlocking her tight grip from my arm. “That’s great.”

“It’s the best birthday present I could possibly ask for,” Min says dreamily, putting her hands in a praying position. “You’re the best, girl.”

Somehow, I feel that flipping my hair at this moment would be appropriate but I hold myself back.

“How did you manage to get a ticket?” she asks unexpectedly. “Not just one, but two!”

“It was…a…gift,” I manage to answer on a whim. “Don’t ask me where that person got it. Happy birthday, Min.”

“You’re sweet!”

She stands on her toes and gives me a peck on my cheek. I blush, suddenly realizing how often people have been kissing me lately.

As she walks away, a hidden memory floats into my consciousness. Hanbin kissed my forehead last night.

What was that about?

I’m like a sister to him.

That must be it. That must be what brothers usually do.

The bell rings, signalling that I’m late for detention so I run as fast as I can.

I find myself reaching an empty room.

The teacher is absent again. She only checks up a couple of times randomly to ensure we attend detention but doesn’t even bother to sit in the class with us.

I let out a sigh of despair. It’s so unsafe to be hanging around Jun Ryeol without supervision. He might do something illegal and I wouldn’t be able to stop him. He’s an impossible man.

I’ve never met anyone like him before and in no way do I mean that as a good thing.

I glance out of the windows and catch a couple cuddling each other. The boyfriend leans over and kisses his girlfriend’s forehead.

“Oi,” Jun Ryeol calls out, grabbing my attention from the start.

If he hates me so much, why does he even talk to me?

“Why do you look so pink?” he comments with an annoyed expression.

What does he mean? I’m wearing the typical school uniform. I look at my outfit and then back up at him curiously.

“I meant your cheeks, pinky.” He pokes my cheek harshly with a pencil.

“Stop that,” I tell him, irked.

“What did you say?” Jun Ryeol changes from playful to angry in a matter of seconds. “Did you say something to me?”

I zip my mouth, avoiding his crazy eyes. He’s insane. That’s what I want to tell him.

***

“I’m taking a break,” Jun Ryeol declares, abruptly standing up. “This classroom is suffocating.”

I don’t even bother glancing at him, fearing that it might incite an unnecessary response from him.

As he passes by me, he flicks his index finger on my forehead and I wince in pain silently.

Jun Ryeol laughs loudly before walking out.

This is horrible. I thought the world had given me the worst on a plate but I have yet to meet a cruel man such as Jun Ryeol in my life.

He is plain evil with not an ounce of kindness in his bones.

A thick book is dropped on my desk, missing my fingers by a few inches.

A disgruntled Sunmi stares back at me when I look up.

“You’ve gone through it?” I ask, raising my eyebrows.

“I’ve been looking for you the whole day,” she says, fanning herself. “I can’t believe you’re in detention.”

“Tell me something,” she says, eyeing my questioningly. “Do you have an idea what this is?” She points to the book Hanbin gave me.

I’m not sure what she means by that.

“It’s a financial book…?” I reply, clueless.

She continues to stare at me suspiciously.

“You really don’t know, do you?”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“Throw this book away,” she instructs sternly. “This isn’t yours, right? Throw it far, far away.” She turns to leave but I chase after her.

“What do you mean? Wait!”

“Hide it! Don’t keep it!” she replies, flustered when I pull her sleeves. “Whoever owns this book committed a crime!”

My fingers loosen from her sleeves in shock.

“I don’t know to what extent and I’m too afraid to find out,” she admits in a murmur. “Listen to my advice and don’t dabble in things like this.” She strides away out of the class quickly, not giving me a chance for my surprise to subside.

I’m about to follow her when a figure standing outside beside the door asks, “What’s that about?”

Instantly, I spin around and go to collect the book from my desk.

Jun Ryeol watches me as I fumble around, trying to get the thick book to fit my backpack.

My hands are quivering, afraid of what Jun Ryeol might do to me in curiousity but he remains in his position.

“Weren’t you planning to take a breather?” I bravely ask him when he continues to stare.

He merely shrugs before going out of the room.

***

Jackson must be angry or really busy because he hasn’t contacted me since last night.

What am I thinking? He might have not noticed that I wasn’t there in the first place. Why would he? He was too busy performing.

Munhee, on the other hand, is clearly exhausted from the night out. I’ll give her time to recover before I approach her. I also need to prepare myself to beg for her forgiveness.

All she wanted was a night with me and I couldn’t give her that.

Why can’t I live life the way I want to? Why is that so hard?

I drop my backpack on the pavement and stare at YG building.

What am I supposed to do about Hanbin’s dad’s account book now?

Sunmi seemed really serious back then about what she said.

If this really belongs to his father, doesn’t that imply that his father did something? But what did he do? Why did Sunmi leave me hanging?

She could have just told me everything. I can decide what to do myself.

Why was she acting so dramatic?

Someone nudges my back.

I turn around to see Jiyong dressed flamboyantly in a glitter suit, standing behind me.

“What are you doing out here in broad daylight?” I ask. "You're going to turn someone blind with that suit."

“What are you doing? I was right in front of you and you didn’t notice,” he retorts back.

My attention is on something far more important.

“Are you ignoring me now?” he presses when I don’t reply.

“My mind is occupied right now, Jiyong.” I pick up my backpack. I run my eyes down the street before remembering that street beside the building where Hanbin kissed me.

I mean, my forehead.

That’s where I threw all my parents’ letter.

I sprint down to the road and groan in frustration when there’s no trace of any letters left lying around.

“!” I stomp my feet angrily on the ground. “Why!”

“Are you okay?” Jiyong catches up to me. He glances around. “Is there something wrong?”

“My letters!” I pull on my hair aggressively. “My letters!!”

I shouldn’t have let my emotions overcome me. Now I’ll never know what my parents had to say. I slam my head against the wall repeatedly, annoyed by my stupid self.

Once I’ve calmed down, Jiyong comes closer to me.

“Do you…want to go out for ice cream?” Jiyong suggests hesitantly.

I glance at him blankly.

“It sounds like a great idea, right?” he asks doubtfully.

“Don’t you remember how our last ice cream outing went?” I remind him, breaking into a small smile.

“Well, this time we’ll go somewhere where I won’t be accused of being a ert.”

***

YG cafeteria.

That’s where he brought me.

“Aunty, make us two bowls of ice cream please. Jumbo size of every flavours you have,” he orders from the table.

“Aren’t you overdoing it?” I mutter, looking at the hardworking aunties in the kitchen just nodding gleefully at his request. “I just need one flavour of ice cream.”

“Can’t you let a guy show off for a bit?” he says, irritated.

I chuckle. He smiles when he notices my mood lifting up a bit.

“You feeling better now?” he asks, leaning back in his chair.

“I’m fine.”

“You didn’t look fine earlier.”

“Well, I’m fine now,” I say but my lips are still downturned. I can’t believe I threw away the letters without consideration last night. How reckless of me.

“Don’t worry, Jiyong ah,” an aunty says, carrying two gigantic bowls of ice cream consisting of various flavours on a tray. “She’ll be fine once she eats this. Right, dear?”

“Thank you,” I say gratefully.

She pats my head, winking at me. “I like the mango flavour the best.”

“Oh, thank you,” I bow to her. "I'll enjoy it."

“Such a sweet girl,” she mutters to herself.

“Jiyong, you should bring more sweet girls up here,” she teases him, making him disconcerted.

“She’s just a friend,” he replies swiftly.

“I didn’t say otherwise,” she quips back.

Wow, for an aunty, she sure is smart.

“Well, whatever. Just dig in.”

I look at the colourful ice cream.

Matcha? Mango? Chocolate? Vanilla? Coconut? Raspberry?

For a short time, my only worry is to decide which spoonful of ice cream I plan to shove into my mouth.