June 1, 2337

Death is easy to cope with.  If someone you know is dead, then you know that they're gone and there's nothing else you can do to help them.  All that's left is to move on and live.

How do you live knowing that someone is still alive?  Everyone in the military is injected with trackers once we are old enough to officially go on missions.  Chanyeol's tracker is still giving off its signal from what they've told me.  They know where he is but they can't get to him.  

Mrs. Park has finally been able to give me some information.  She came home with the news just yesterday that he's been held in a very secure location, one of the safe houses of a high profile leader of the Resistance.  Apparently our side is doing all that they can to gather intelligence before storming the place and setting it on fire.

Perhaps that would be the smarter way but it's sure as hell not how I would do it.

Mrs. Park tells me that they're thinking of sending a discreet message to him so he can gain something out of his time as a hostage.  My response to that was something that she already knows.  Despite his bumbling nature, Chanyeol is a trained soldier and a very good one.  We've all been  taught how to act in hostage situations and we all know how to gain intel if we're ever captured.  He would get hurt and cry for his mom but if they send a team out for a rescue soon, he'd come back safe overall.

The fact that they haven't sent out a rescue team is alarming.  Do they think he's disposable? Considering who his parents are, I don't think they do.

Captain Byun has me paired up with Do Kyungsoo in the meantime.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to explode soon.

June 2, 2337

I've gotten better at living but it's not the same.  The apartment is quiet.  There's not source of cheer or happiness anywhere and it just makes my chest ache everytime I think about it.  So I try not to think.  To do that, I spend time outside instead and try to enjoy the nice weather that comes with summer.

I come across bloodstains from time to time when I walk down the street and wonder whose those are instead.  It's a bit morbid to think about dead people but that satsifies me more than thinking about a missing person.  At least then I know I can truly mourn a person's absence.  I hope wherever Chanyeol is, that he's being treated as well as a hostage can be treated.  I hope he's thinking about how he can annoy me with some prank that he hasn't tried on me yet or a bad joke that would never make me laugh.  I think that if I ever see him again, I'll never complain about his silly antics again because right now I miss them.

The Captain remains as suspcious as ever.  I can tell he's doing his best to lay low for now in the wake of Chanyeol's situation.  He doesn't want anyone to know that he might have had something to do with it.  I pretend to be too wrapped up in my grief to notice anything when I'm at work to throw him off my scent.  He hasn't read my entries since Chanyeol disappeared because I haven't turned any of them in and apparently he's been too preoccupied to notice he hasn't been recieving reports on my mental state anymore.  As long as he doesn't know I'm watching him then it'll be easier to catch him in the act.

He knows how much I hate Do Kyungsoo and he's assigned the human to be my sparring partner for trainings when we're off duty.  That alone could be an attempt to distract me from my mission.  He's probably hoping that my hatred for Kyungsoo will start a whole new set of conflicts for me.  I won't fall for it.

June 3, 2337

I haven't left a note for the neighbor since all of this started.  Today I came home from work with a note on my door.

Hyunae,

I'm sorry.

-Kim M.

June 4, 2337

It's just past midnight and I've woken up to realize that there's something seriously wrong with my life.  Actually that's not true.  It's not my life that's wrong, it's the things that are happening in my life.  

When I woke up there was a layer of ice all over my skin, like I was a piece of fruit that has just been dipped in a fountain of chocolate fondue.  I managed to melt the ice around my fingers but the rest of it rendered me unable to move for about twenty minutes despite turning up the heating system from the remote control I keep near my bed.  I didn't feel cold but I was bound by my Element in a such a way I would have never been if I had been conscious.

It must be my reaction to all of the things that I had been unconsciously thinking about in the night.  I am not sure how the neighbor found out about Chanyeol.  Maybe it was the fact that Chanyeol's liveliness could not be heard through the thin walls anymore but the fact that whoever Kim M. is, knew something meant he had access to military information.  Chanyeol's capture had not been reported in the news out of respect for the Parks wishes.  Furthermore, Kim M. was supposed to be a recluse, someone that was hiding from the world and yet he still has the