March 21, 2337

I am the lieutenant to Captain Byun so maybe I shouldn’t have let it get this far but I’m also a nineteen-year-old girl.  When a nineteen-year-old girl’s family is insulted, you can be sure she’s going to lash out and demand justice any way she knows how.  I knew what I was doing when I punched Do Kyungsoo in the face and then proceed to beat the living out of him.  I wanted him to suffer for calling my parents cowards.  After all, Do Kyungsoo is a human and because of that he doesn’t know a thing about what my parents had to go through.  Chanyeol broke up the fight before I did any major damage to the officer, like he does every single time I stir up trouble.  He’s always trying to make sure I don’t get myself killed, which I’m forever thankful for. 

Anyway, the point of writing this down is because Captain Byun thinks I have anger issues.   He’s ordered me to keep a journal of my thoughts and emotions because he thinks it’ll be better than taking out my frustrations on people.  In addition to this, he’s making me take another psych evaluation for any sign of mental imbalances.  He doesn’t really seem to understand that people are the reason I get angry and I see no reason as to why I can’t directly confront the source.

I half want to punch Captain Byun in the face for my punishment.  I’ve been taken off the armory’s guard duty.  He’s put me back in the classroom to teach the cadets our history.  I hate being back in the training center and he knows that so I’m assuming that’s why he’s done this.  It’s only been one year and seven months since I joined the military having completed my training.  Since then, I’ve worked my way up through the unit, mostly due to a few deaths, but nobody questions my skills.

I hope the punishment goes by fast.  I don’t want to be cooped up in a classroom anymore. 

I need to fight.

March 22, 2337

Chanyeol and I argue a lot but that’s also what keeps us close.  Whenever we fight we tell each other about the most offensive thoughts we have about each other deep down inside us, believing that if we care about each other, we can endure it.   For some people, hiding their own discomfort for the people they care about is the right way to live in peace.  I don’t think that’s a good way to live.  Grievances are supposed to heard and compromises are supposed to be made.  How else can people become the best they can be?

Normally we fight about the important things but yesterday Chanyeol and I fought over something ridiculous.

I could remember lifting my hand, watching as the frost spread like a web across the windowpane noting that the sight matched quite well with the atmosphere on the other side.   When I’d looked out that window all I could see was death and rain.  Bodies were littered through the streets with no one brave enough to claim them.  Thankfully people like me didn’t need to draw blood to kill but I only felt that way because Chanyeol would have vomited on me if he saw it.  I didn’t mind if I made anyone bleed, especially if they deserved it, which they did most of the time.

Chanyeol had said something to me to make me turn around and face him. 

Despite having grown up around Chanyeol’s cheerful personality, it wasn’t hard to forget that we lived in a dangerous world.  All I had to do was look out the window.

At the time I grinned at him and rolled my eyes at his peculiar obsession with our neighbor.  Ever since we moved into an apartment on the other side of the city, away from his parents, it’s been a running joke between us that a ghost lived in the apartment at the end of the hall.   According to the landlord, a man lives there and he's supposedly an Elemental but I know that can't be possible.  All Elementals were required to join the military and serve under the Commander.

“I stole his milk again,” Chanyeol had told me.

The neighbor never seemed to mind that his milk was frequently stolen because he’d never once come out to complain about it.  Before that particular day, I’d never thought about our neighbor more than the duration of a conversation in which we had fun speculating as to what he must look like or what kind of a person he was.  It occurred to me that the neighbor was far from normal or perhaps he was hiding something.

I didn’t want to be overly suspicious but I think it was my training that had me wondering if that neighbor was who he said he was.  Chanyeol flew back and threw a fireball at me just then because I had let my thoughts run faster than reason and as a result the whole apartment had covered over in a thin layer of frost.  I’d once again used my powers unconsciously.

“I didn’t think you’d be mad over one bottle of stolen milk,” Chanyeol commented.

“I’m not,” I had said.  “I was just thinking about the neighbor.  What if he never comes out because he has something to hide?  What if he’s a part of the Resistance?”

The neighbor probably isn’t that important and I know for a fact I tend to be a paranoid person.  I just can’t shake the feeling that something bad might happen.  It doesn’t matter if we’ve been living in that apartment for a year and seven months.  The best attacks are the ones that are planned over a long period of time and they also happen to be the most deadly.  I’m going to keep my eye out for more about the neighbor but in the mean time I’ll be getting some rest.

I have to teach a bunch of teenagers some of our history tomorrow.  I have to teach them why we’re fighting these battles.  Maybe it will inspire them enough that it won’t be such a bad thing after all.

March 26, 2337

I’m not used to keeping a diary so I skipped a few days.  Besides, it’s not like I need to recount my key thoughts and emotions everyday.  Not every day I live will be interesting and completely life changing.  Captain Byun thinks maybe if we grew up in the times of our parents then maybe things would more intense for us so we should consider ourselves lucky.  I can’t be sure, but it sounded as if he held some resentment for the Commander in the tone of his voice when he spoke.  I really hope not.  I like Captain Byun so to see him being written off for treason would be a shame.

I’ve been teaching the kids our history for the past for days.  The older kids already know our history but it’s the younger ones I’m teaching; the ones those are still young enough to need their parents to guide them.  Th