He closed the gap between us. but slowly. It was almost painful. I badly wanted that feeling again. His lips pressed to my skin. It didn’t matter where.

His lips looked so inviting. They felt like cherry blossom leaves gently dropping to the ground. I wanted to keep the feeling in a jar and save it forever.

When we broke apart, he looked into my eyes. His face so intense I had to look away.

“Was that your answer?” he asked still staring at me. I could feel his eyes on me. I felt my stomach lift high above my head. It was as if things just seemed to click.

“I don’t know,” I said. There was still the thought of what our friends would say in my head and I couldn’t shake the feeling that, if I did end up telling any of them, they would hate me forever. Even Junior.

Junior groaned in the bed across from us. I jumped up because I did not want to have to explain this situation to him even if he was gayer than a window.

“We should sort him out.” Jackson replied pulling himself up with the bed.

I nodded and stood, forgetting that the only thing between Jackson and my boyhood was the thin fabric of my boxers.

My face burned and I sank back to the floor slowly. Grabbing the nearest thing and pulling it over my head. It smelt of Jackson.

The cons of this is I melted into the smell slightly. He always smelt so good and the pros of this was Jackson was a bit musclier than me so his jumpers went past my thighs. Jackson smirked as I walked past him into the bathroom while he tended to Junior.

I spent the entire time in the shower with my fingers on my lips. I wondered what it would be like to kiss a girl, and if it would be the same as kissing Jackson.

When I got out of the bathroom it was lighter outside. It shone through the window and I could now clearly see just how messy our room was. There were towels all over the floor and an empty bucket next to Jackson’s bed. Jackson’s bedding was a mess: the under sheet had come off the top corners and the pillow was squished into the headboard.

Junior was now sitting up right for the first time since the other night. Jackson shot me a look as he entered the bathroom.

“How are you feeling J?” I asked, drying my hair with a towel.

“Did a train run over my head?” He asked. “I’m never drinking again.”

I laughed and started getting dressed. “You probably shouldn’t drink again if that’s what it does to you.”

Junior swung his legs over the edge of the bed and checked his phone. “Twenty-seven missed calls and forty texts. How long was I asleep for?”

“I’m guessing they’re all from BamBam.”

Junior made a noise which told me I was correct. I pulled on my trousers and rummaged through my wardrobe to find a clean t-shirt.

“He’s asking if he can buy us lunch as an apology. Wanna go?”

“Sure, can’t say no to free food.” I said and pulled the t-shirt over my head. It was half past eight. If I left for Uni’ now, I’d still be fifteen minutes early.

But the thought of having to watch Jackson get dressed woke something up inside me, so I grabbed my jacket and bag and said a quick goodbye to Junior.

I walked as slowly to class as I could without freezing my nose off. I rubbed my hands together, wishing I’d brought gloves. But I had been in so much of a rush to get away from Jackson that I hadn’t realised the frost on the window.

The lecture hall was completely empty when I arrived. I sat at the back and put my headphones in trying not to think about Jackson’s muscular body; or the water droplets left after a shower trace lines over them; or his damp blonde hair fall over his eyes.

I’m in too deep.

“Excuse me?”

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I didn’t see a petit girl walk through door. She was pretty, but I couldn’t tell if I thought she was attractive or if it was the typical face everyone thought was attractive.

“Oh, uhh…hi.” I said taking my headphone out. She looked really nervous.

“Hi Mark-Oppa, you probably don’t know me. My name is Kim Gi-Eun and I…um...I’m in this class, and well, I’ve been watching you for a while now…oh god, that’s not what I meant.” Her face flushed pink. “I mean to say that I think you’re really cool, and um, I like you.”

My mind was still on Jackson’s dripping abs that I didn’t even register her words.

“Oh um, wait, what?”

She was silent for a minute, and then stuttered over her words again.

“You do?” It was quite a shock. The fact that in the space of two days my best friend and a girl I didn’t know had confessed their feelings to me was too much.

“Would you like to go to lunch?” she asked looking down at her feet.

“Uh, well…I already have plans.” I wasn’t quite sure if wanted to pursue my complicated feelings for Jackson and end up having a problematic life, or if I should settle for a normal but unhappy life with this random girl.

“Why don’t you join me for lunch? I’m going with some friends, but I’m sure they won’t mind.” Why did I say that?

“Really?!” she looked so happy. Her face lit up and her cheeks, even more pink than before, creased with her smile. “I’m so happy, Mark-Oppa! Thank you, Could I have your number?”

I handed over my phone gormlessly. She did even seem to notice as she handed back my phone and skipped down to sit at the front.

I sat down and had to think about what I’d just done. Class went by without me noticing it. I couldn’t pay attention when my life was in crisis.

BamBam and Yugyeom met me after class.

“So, where do you want to go eat?” Bam asked us both. How was I supposed to break the news to them?

“Hey guys-”

Yugyeom interrupted me. “How about that café over the road?”

“Guys, listen-”

“We go there every day though.” BamBam replied to Yugyeom. Both of them completely ignoring me.

“Can you listen-”

“Okay, but their ham and cheese toasties are the best.”

“Guys!”

People in the hall way stopped and turned to look at me. I’d shouted. “Okay, Mark, no need to shout.”

“Sorry, is it okay if a friend comes along to lunch with us?”

“Of course it’s okay, who is it?”

Gi-Eun skipped over towards us. She smiled sweetly. “Hi Mark-Oppa! Are these your friends?”

Yugyeom and BamBam looked at each other. I could tell what they were thinking. It was practically written in the atmosphere.

“Yeah, BamBam and Yugyeom, this is Gi-Eun.”

I just wanted to shoot myself right in the head. I have made a terrible mistake.