I wanted the old Jackson back. The one who wasn’t afraid to tell me what he was thinking and yet the Jackson on the other side of my bedroom door had been deceiving me. Leading me to believe he’d been fine when all along he had been suffering in silence.

I wanted to take away that feeling, but what would that cost our friendship? How can two boys be together? What would people say and think and tell their friends about us?

I didn’t want him to be the ridicule of some joke. Or beaten to a pulp by ignorant boys.

The door next to ours opened. Yugyeom stepped out and was startled by my sitting on the floor.

“Oh God! what are you doing down there, Mark? did you and your boyfriend have a fight?” he said, sliding down on the wall opposite me and sitting on the floor.

“Oh, he’s not my- No, I’m just sitting here thinking things over,” I said, it’s probably best I don’t tell my entire life story to this boy I’ve just met.

“Hey, I don’t judge. In fact, I actually swing that way myself. Just because people don’t understand it, doesn’t make it wrong, you know?” He said.

To this I was quite stunned. Why would a boy I’d just met tell me something like this? I thought people would be so quick to judge and hate you for being that way.

“Aren’t you afraid to just tell anyone that you’re…” I asked trying to be coy about it.

“People are a lot more…educated now-a-days. They don’t shoot you in the head for liking the same gender anymore,” He laughed a little nervously. But I didn’t quite know why.

“I would have thought to keep it to yourself anyway, even if you were…that, then why would you display it?” To this Yugyeom gave me a smile. It didn’t seem to fit on his face.

“Says the one who was just kissing his boyfriend in the hallway!”

I could feel my face go very red and hot. I had to get away from this person! He was starting to freak me out. I stood up and opened my bedroom door. But I heard that Yugyeom boy say “You two look cute together by the way!”

What did he know? He’d been here less than half an hour and was already making judgments on something that hadn’t even happened yet. Did I want it to happen?

I hadn’t even thought about Jackson in that way.

The light was off. It was completely dark thanks to the pulled curtains. I could hear Junior snoring slightly in the direction of Jackson’s bed. Where was he? I thought he was in here.

I closed the door behind me and took a step forwards, slamming right into something. We fell, arms flailing, to the floor with a loud thud.

“Uhh…Mark,” groaned the something I’d walked into. It was Jackson! Oh God! I was on top of Jackson. 

His skin was so warm and soft. Wait! He was SHIRTLESS?

Fumbling to stand from embarrassment I jammed my knee right in to his stomach making him let out another groan.

“I’m so sorry Jackson!” Finally, back on my feet, I took his hand to help him up. From what I could see of his face, which wasn’t a lot, he looked to be in pain.

“It’s fine, really.” He straightened up to look at me. His hand was still in mine. He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand. It was kind of nice. I’d had more human interaction with Jackson in one day than I’d had with any girl in my entire life.

 I didn’t know what to do.