Kris can't sleep.   It's nearly midnight and he's still wide awake, staring at the pale wood of Tao's top bunk, his face blank. No. He didn't feel that way about Tao. He had never felt that way about him, never felt that way about any guy. He was supposed to- he had to- his thoughts become less and less sensible as he sighs loudly, letting a moment of acceptance overcome him.   Letting himself, for a moment, admit what he feels for the younger boy. But only a moment. That moment is enough though as exhaustion overcomes him and he falls asleep. He knows he sleeps for quite a while because there's light in the room when he hears Tao's voice soft against his ear,   "Kris?"   His eyes snap open and he sits up, nearly hitting his head on the bed frame as he sees Tao sitting on the edge of his bed, bent over slightly. When he turns his head Kris can see his cheeks shining in the half-light, the dark shadows under his eyes stark onyx against his pale cheeks. He's crying, his breathing uneven, his eyes closed, his shoulders shaking slightly. Kris gasps softly and scoots over so he's sitting next to Tao, putting an arm around his shoulders instantly.   'Tao? Panda, what's wrong?'   He's surprised at the patience and even affection in his voice but lets it slide, he's caught up in the moment, that's all, nothing more. Tao sniffs, his breath ragged as he speaks in broken sentences,   "I...just...really....miss...my...parents...I-"   Kris cuts off his pitiful explanation by putting a finger to his lips, feeling both relieved and sad,   'Tao, it's okay to miss your parents. We're all here for you though, you're not alone...'   Tao stops crying slowly, leaning against Kris, his dark hair tickling Kris's neck. He pauses suddenly and looks over at Kris, his eyes intense. Kris sees him tilt his head slightly, feels him move closer, closing the gap between them but he doesn't stop him. They're so close Kris can see each of Tao's eyelashes clearly. If he wanted to stop, it's now or never. He lets his eyes flutter closed and gives up as he feels Tao's lips press against his own. His heart is beating faster than ever and he feels like lightning is running up and down his skin. He wants Tao closer, wants more of him.   But something is making noise, like an alarm, it's annoying and Kris wants to stop it. He reaches out, hits his clock, and wakes up. It was a dream. It was just a dream. None of it was real. He lays there for a few minutes, panting, his cheeks flushed, his heart beating so fast it's like he's not breathing at all. How could he have had a dream like that?   How could he dream about kissing Tao, touching him? No. This was wrong. All wrong, so wrong. Kris painfully calms the desperate beat of his heart and gets to his feet, pulling on a deep red colored sweater and jeans. He glances up and realizes Tao is already gone, his bed neatly made, one of his jackets draped casually over the bed post. He must have forgotten it.   Kris picks it up and notices absentmindedly that it smells like peppermint and the ocean; that it smells like Tao. He rolls his eyes, running a hand roughly through his hair. What was his problem? Okay, so maybe he was attracted to Tao a little bit, but no way was there ever going to be anything between them. Not ever. He makes up his mind and walks down the stairs, about to say he's going to leave for class early when he simultaneously realizes that it's both the weekend and Christmas break.   Only three days until Christmas. He walks into the kitchen to find the rest of the household's members already sitting around it; Suho brushing hair out of Lay's eyes, Xiumin sleeping on Chen's shoulder, and Tao smiling and laughing with Baekhyun while Chanyeol looks on in amusement. Kris feels a jolt of jealousy and stuffs it down, sitting at the vacant seat at the end of the table and holding out Tao's jacket to him without a word, allowing his face to go completely blank.    'I believe you forgot this.'   Tao stops laughing for a moment and looks up, his eyes bright with happiness. He looks so beautiful. Kris mentally curses himself and pulls out of his thoughts as he hears Tao's voice,   "Thanks. I knew I forgot something. Wouldn't want to be cold today...."   Kris arches an eyebrow, sending a meaningful look towards Suho, the general event coordinator of their 'family'.   'Why, what's so important about today?'   Suho blushes slightly but recovers easily, a wide grin on his face,   'I forgot to tell you last night, you went to bed so early; we're going Christmas shopping today. You know, getting a tree and decorations and everything. I thought it'd be something fun to do for Tao's first Christmas in Korea.'   It takes everything in Kris not to smile, but he swallows it down, his lips curving up only slightly,   'That does sound like fun. I'm in.'   Kris eats quietly, watching the others and joining in conversation here and there. He catches Chen looking at him and feels a brief pang of guilt for how he acted yesterday. He'll have to apologize. Tao announces he's going to go get his shoes from upstairs and Baekhyun goes with him to fix his eyeliner. The rest of them are bringing dishes to the sink, cleaning up before they go. Kris is just setting a bowl down on the counter when he hears Chen's voice behind him.   'It's Tao, isn't it. How long have you been in love with him exactly?'   Chen adjusts his stance, crossing his arms, seeming to become more arrogant by the second.   'Are you gonna admit it this time, or just deny it. But that's what your good at, isn't it Yi Fan? Denying the truth, running from your responsibilities-'   Kris whirls around and knocks the glass from