Tao is aware when he wakes up that he's not at home.

The roomy bed and silken sheets certainly aren't his own.

Neither is the shirt he's wearing or the pillow he's resting his head on.

Pale sunlight is thrown in shafts across the room, one landing directly in Tao's eye and blinding him momentarily.

He groans and rolls onto his stomach, burying his face into a pillow that smelled like wood and the ocean and something slightly sweet. Like apples.

Tao pulls his knees up to his chest, pulling the thick blankets tighter around his body and sighing softly in contentment.

He lays there for a few minutes, nearly falling asleep when he feels the bed shift, the covers pulled from his neck down to his waist.

Tao groans in protest, sitting up and rubbing his eyes before opening them.

Oh yeah. That's right....

Laying a few inches away from him is Kris.

He's on his back, one arm thrown over his face, his silver hair messy.

He's not wearing a shirt or pants and Tao can see the edges of his black and red underwear.

He's gorgeous.

Now this, this definitely was Tao's.

Kris is breathing slowly, his eyelids fluttering every once in a while as he dreams.

Tao takes a moment to admire him, the sharp sculpted muscles of his arms, his abs, the definite lines of his hips.

Kris had been so good to him lately.

He was always around when Tao needed him and had suggested they take a night, just the two of them, to relax and have some fun.

So here they were, sprawled across the bed of a hotel room that Tao couldn't remember arriving at.

He must have had more to drink last night than he remembered.

His mouth tastes bitter and gross, the vinegary taste of saké still on his lips.

Memories seem to return in snippets, an image of Kris laughing, holding bottles by the neck and pushing one into Tao's hand.

He remembers pressing his face against the cold metal wall of an elevator, the world spinning as he watched numbers tick by on the screen informing them with floor they were on.

There's a sharp pain spiking at the base of Tao's skull and he gasps softly as he sits up straighter, a wave of nausea hitting him.

He hadn't been this hungover in a long time.

Tao turns his attention back to Kris who is still sleeping, his head tilted to the side so that Tao can see red bite marks on his neck.

Did he do that...?

More memories return and Tao remembers how hard he bit Kris, how it'd made moan.

Tao nearly smiles, swallowing even though it hurts, his throat burning from the alcoholic taste.

Kris makes a soft sound, his hands moving ever so slightly as he sighs, tilting his head down so that silver hair falls into his eyes.

He is, and always will be, the most beautiful boy Tao has ever seen.

Whether it's his thick eyelashes, golden eyes, or the fact that his eyebrows are complete perfection.

Maybe it's his amazing body, his strong arms and his jawline that could cut glass.

Then again, it could be how good he looked in a suit, how good he looked in a leather jacket, or more than that, how good he looked in nothing at all.

Tao smirks softly, growing tired of watching Kris sleep.

He lifts himself up easily, closing the small space between him and Kris and straddling his hips.

Tao bends gracefully to press a soft kiss to Kris's collarbone,

"How are you still sleeping?"

His voice sounds rough even to his own ears, definitely hungover.

Kris groans in annoyance, shifting slightly under Tao's weight.

He goes still at the pressure of Tao's lips, leaning into Tao with a contented sigh,

'Mm.....Tao.....'

Tao sits up, leaning back so that he's sitting on Kris's lap.

He's about to chastise his boyfriend for sleeping in when Kris winces, causing Tao to arch an eyebrow at him,

"You in pain?"

Kris looks up at him dubiously, the hair falling over his face making him look so y that Tao almost smiles,

'You were pretty rough last night.....'

Tao laughs softly, tilting his head and pushing out his bottom lip in the way he knew Kris couldn't resist,

"What did I do?"

Kris gestures to the mark on his neck, his voice almost amused now,

'Let's just say that my neck isn't the only thing you bit....'

Tao can't help the grin that spreads across his face, laughter shaking his body as he leans towards Kris, 

"I'm sorry! I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Kris shakes his head, a slow smile curving his lips as he tucks hair behind Tao's ear,

'You were pretty drunk....'

Tao pulls away from Kris's touch, wanting to play hard to get,

"I was not!"

Kris laughs softly, pushing Tao back the shoulders and pinning him to the bed by his wrists.

All the air goes out of Tao's lungs, Kris's beauty taking his breath away as he smirks, his voice high-pitched and mimicking,

''Kris, we should go to Canada!' 'Kris, isn't that where you're from??' 'Canada would be a great place to visit!' 'Lots of maple syrup!''

Tao has to resist blushing, his voice low and embarrassed,

"I didn't say that!"

Kris laughs softly, brushing his hand against Tao's cheek with a gentle affection that makes Tao's heart swell,

'You said other things too....but I won't repeat that.....'

Tao sighs in exasperation, letting his body relax under Kris's,

"You're the worst...."

This only seems to make his boyfriend smile more, a affection filling his eyes that made Tao want to look away,

'I love you too....'

Kris leans closer and fits their lips together almost hesitantly.

Even though they've kissed so many times, it feels different.

Tao expects Kris to taste gross, like alcohol and hangover, but he doesn't.

His lips taste sweet like strawberries and cinnamon, like good memories.

Tao kisses him back just as gently, bringing up a hand to curve it against the harsh angles of his jaw.

It tastes like a kiss goodbye.

Kris's kisses get deeper as he runs a hand up Tao's thigh.

His touch is so soft and gentle that Tao nearly smiles, crossing both arms behind Kris's neck and pulling them closer so that his shoulders are pressed against Kris's bare ones.

This is how it should be, just the two of them, stuck in their own time capsule.

Because this was what that felt like.

Right now, Tao wasn't worrying about anything, wasn't thinking about anything except that Kris smelled like coffee and that he wanted to smell that smell for the rest of his life.

Kris pulls away slowly, lingering for a moment, his lips barely touching Tao's.

He seems like he's hesitating, debating something.

Tao arches an eyebrow at him, his voice slightly muffled by Kris's lips,

"What is it?"

Kris's eyes make their way back to his and suddenly Tao feels a bit weak in the knees.

The deep golden color seems to bore right into his soul, the flecks of copper brown seeming even more metallic in the low light,

'Xiumin should have called by now....'

Chen had made the decision last night that he wanted to face his diagnosis, whether good or bad, alone. That he'd tell Xiumin and the others later.

Right now, he was probably meeting with his doctors.

Xiumin had promised he'd call when he heard from Chen.

Tao glances over at the clock, the numbers 11:27 staring back at him.

He lets a small smile curve his lips as he turns back to Kris, pushing a hand through his silver hair,

"Hey....it's only 11:30....stop worrying...."

He kisses Kris again, but it feels different now. Less genuine. The moment had passed. 

Tao eventually gives up, falling back against the bed with a soft thud, pulling himself out from under Kris and getting to his feet.

This probably isn't a good idea because as soon as he stands, he gets hit with a head rush and feels about to throw up.

He puts a hand to his stomach, sending Kris a sad smile as he shuffles off to the bathroom.

It's cold and everything seems so hard, so artificial.

Nothing in this bathroom was real. Nothing in the world was real.

Tao tears his mind away from the metaphorical resonance of fake bathrooms and falls to his knees on the pale blue tile.

It doesn't take that long.

He leans over the terribly artificial porcelain toilet, feeling as if his head is folding in on itself while his body is simultaneously being run over by a train.

Eventually, he gags, the sharp burn of alcohol and the odd texture of whatever food he'd eaten yesterday making a liquefied and rather unpleasant reappearance.

He knows he should wipe his mouth, get up, and move on with his life.

But something feels significant about this. About the fact that he felt like , regretting his decisions. That he was alone, in pain.

Maybe it was because it brought back bad memories or because this was what his future could be like.

Eventually, Tao reaches for the lever to flush the toilet, struggling to his feet and leaning on the counter.

He blinks a few times, turning on the tap and splashing cold water on his face, on his hair, rubbing the remnants of saké and phō off of his mouth.

Tao stands there for a moment, letting the water run, the immense feeling to throw up again making him shake.

He doesn't remember the last time he was this hung over.

It's because of all the happening in their lives.

Tao never drinks like this. Usually, he'll have one bottle of saké, but last night, he remembers ordering a fourth.

It wasn't like he was an alcoholic or anything, he just liked to drown his sorrows in a bottle. 

After a few minutes, Kris knocks on the bathroom door, the concern in his voice making Tao want to smile,

'Tao Panda? Are you okay?'

Tao clears his throat, but it doesn't help, his voice still twice as rough and deep as it usually is,

"I'm fine, Galaxy...."

There's a pause, Kris's voice slightly confused,

'What did you just call me?'

Tao nearly smiles as he leans heavily against the counter, his consciousness fading slightly as dark spots appear in his vision,

"Isn't that what your teammates call you?"

Another pause. 

'Well yeah but you're not my teammate, Tao....you're my boyfriend.....'

Tao doesn't respond, wanting to, but feeling choked as he slumps rather ungracefully to his knees, his voice soft,

"Kris.......I'm pretty sick....."

There's silence for a moment before Tao hears a shuffling of feet,

'Tao....I'm coming in.....'

Suddenly the wish for Kris not to see him so sick, so pitiful, was so intense, forcing the effect of normality into his voice,

"No! Don't come in....I....I'm ....."

There's a soft chuckle from the other side of the door and Tao can hear the smirk in his voice,

'I've seen you before, Zitao.....'

Tao sighs softly, leaning his head back against the cabinet under the sink,

"If you have to come in....."

He lets his eyes fall closed as he hears the shifting of the doorknob and the heavy thuds of Kris's feet as he walks over to where Tao is.

He kneels slowly, petting Tao's hair a few times,

'Xiumin called while you were in here.....Chen wants to see all of us right now.....'

Tao doesn't feel strong enough to face people, strong enough to face Chen and whatever news he had.

But somehow, he finds himself nodding, forcing a small smile to curve his lips,

"Just let me wash up a bit, okay?"

Kris nods, standing up and reaching down to help Tao to his feet.

Tao nearly stumbles, leaning into Kris as he tries to catch his breath.

Kris doesn't say anything and Tao is grateful. This is pitiful and he knows it. 

After a moment, Kris clears his throat, his voice soft in a not over-sympathetic way that he knew Tao hated,

'You want some help?'

Tao doesn't reply, afraid to open his mouth and have more come out than just words.