Chapter V:

“Yeon Young, don’t listen to her.” But I can’t. “Yeon Young. I really have to go. “Don’t forget what I told you.” I know, let me think.

“I’ll be Oppa in the mean time.” He knows what I meant.

I can’t believe it. Is it true? Is it really my fault? Why he died? Oppa, tell me the truth, is it my fault?

I was running, running as far as I could. I’m not crying but it all wonder my head. I wasn’t meant to smile, I don’t deserve happiness. Back stabbing my brother, almost breaking my brother’s promise. It’s all inside my head. Why is destiny so cruel and selfish on me?

I reach the cemetery that quick and have decided to never go back to school. I need to talk to my brother. I was half-way there and I can sense smile on my face. “Oppa.” Tears now started running as I reach his place. I sat down on the clean green grass. Near the stone where his name was written. “Oppa….” I was happy-crying because it felt good being with him. I buried my face under my knees and close my eyes.

Dream:

“Yeon Young.” Oppa’s voice? I felt someone beside me and when I face him, Oppa was now beside me.

“Oppa? What are you doing here?” I asked in a stun way.

“You don’t want to see me anymore?” even though he’s smiling, I know he’s disappointed to what I have said.

“Anio, Oppa. Yah! Don’t be like that. I was just kidding.” Half of the sentence was in a very low voice.

“You’re growing up.” Patting my head and making me rest on his shoulder. I didn’t bother removing mysle to that position cause I know how much I have miss it.

“I’m about the same age as you are now.” It was partially a joke. He was 19 back then.

“I’m already 23, not just because I’m gone doesn’t mean I don’t age.” We are happy laughing now. I know this is just dream but I don’t seem want to wake up anymore.

“Arayo.” I place myself on a straight position. I sense his seriousness inside.

“Are you happy?” hm, seems like he didn’t change at all.

“Let me ask you.” I don’t want it to end up in a solemn way. “Am I happy?”

“Hm? I think…. You… are… happy…” with a happy smile. “What are you pouting for?” he already read my mind.

“Anio.” I have to pause. “Oppa,”

“You’re inlove right? How can you no be happy?” me? Inlove? No! “Even if you don’t answer, I’m your brother. I am looking at you from there.” Pointing in the sky. “I know you like him.” Why does he know so much?

“Oppa, it’s not like that.” I can’t even look at him. “Are you mad?”

“Of course not. I’m happy.” I can finally reassure. “Remember our promise?” When we were young, you told me, “When I’m happy you have to be happy. When you’re sad I have to make you smile.” It’s the lamest promise, I know but he did really promise me that,

“Someone’s calling for. Wake up now.” He kisses me in the forehead. “We’ll talk again. I’ll always be in your dreams to make sure you won’t bear in mind that nightmare anymore.”

“Yeon Yong, wake up. What are you doing here? It’s still early.” It was just Hye Ji-Unnie.

“Ow, I cut classes.” again.

“You’re going to get in trouble again.” It’s okay.

“Unnie, did you ever-” what Sung Rin said has stack in my mind.

“Did I ever?” I can still say ‘nothing’.

“Did you ever blame me for Oppa’s death?” scared, anxious, afraid, anticipating.

“Why would you think that?” that’s not the respond I needed. “Of course-” paused “not” that long gap almost killed me. “Why would I?” her smile made me happy.

“What did you bring?” I saw some stuff from her.

“Blanket, some food and books.” I quickly stood up and help her with the stuffs. “Help me?” why won’t I?

After helping her with making it look like a picnic her phone rang, “Dongsaeng, stay here for a bit. I need to answer this.” I said okay and she left.

“Kim.” Pause “Kyu.” Pause “Jong.” Reading it like a small kid. “Bogoshipda. Kyu Jong-Oppa.”

I really want him back not because of the promise but because of him. But what about Hyun Joong-Oppa? Am I really falling for him?