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 To: Hae Ryong

Subject: Lesson in Positions

                Noona, do you want to know what’s really funny? Neighbors are.
                Today Joon Jae and I decided to move the bedroom furniture around to make it so we had more space. One of our neighbors stopped by a little after we’d been working so hard. A package of his was accidently delivered to our house. It was really too funny. The neighbors are very imaginative. I was expecting them to be considering the situation, but it did happen pretty fast. I’m not sure if Joon Jae realizes, but the gossip flows very easily in these apartments.
                It must be nice to be so unaffected by it, don’t you think? It makes me wonder if he was like that during high school. I bet he was…walking around looking all cool not caring about anything anyone says. I wonder he was popular. I think there’s an album around somewhere, so maybe I’ll get to find out.
                If I remember you were popular then. I hope Joon Jae wasn’t, or else I will have been left behind, haha. Stop being so popular now too, then maybe I can catch up to you both! Oh, also don’t forget you said you were going to take me out sooner or later to the clubs! I’m not really looking for anyone, unlike someone, but I definitely want to go soon! I think being in this house is making me run in circles mentally! SOS!
                ~Takuya

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 [INBOX] – [DRAFT MESSAGE]

 To: Hae Ryong

Subject: Lesson in Positions

                Noona, truly it’s very amusing me to me. Our neighbors are as mentally active as I hoped. I didn’t think living in an apartment could be this fun.
                The neighbor’s perspectives are just as I would have imagined. Even though I honestly did tell Joon Jae to leave the vitamin wrappers lying around to clean up later, I didn’t even realize what they looked like until later. Oh, the thoughts that must have passed through the man’s mind! I could read it all. It was too perfect. I had been thinking it wouldn’t be any fun to have a secret lover no one knew about (because it would be too much like dating someone in the closet still), so I was thinking up ways to jog the idea in their heads. I never expected the wrappers and our sweating to do the trick. You should have seen this neighbor’s face and how he stumbled over his words! It really worked too well; I know you would have died from laughing at how funny the scene was.
                What was even funnier was Joon Jae. I doubt he even realized it, but he may have charmed his way into the heart of another man yet again. He seems to be really good at that, it almost makes me worry! I could tell our neighbor’s heart was fluttering when he was helping Joon Jae and I with the other furniture. He even ended up staying for almost two hours! Joon Jae didn’t mind at all though, he just kept on being his cool chic self. He looked so handsome and manly moving the furniture and handing out his cute smile. It was really dreamy actually! I’m almost thankful I get to live with him; it gives me the upper hand against all the hearts he charms. But then again, this may start being a problem soon too. He has his way of making being his roommate dangerous for the heart.
                Other than that incident, he ended up causing me to slip up again. You know I don’t get shy easily, right? I really, really don’t, but I almost died from that butterfly feeling! This isn’t the first time it’s happened with someone I decided to make my lover, but Joon Jae makes it really difficult. Kind of like he is good at creating that tickling anticipating kind of love feeling.
                I meant to play with him again today, using as much contact as I could. I wanted to see how he would react to it, since it felt like he had gotten more aware and use to of my physical presence, so I made today the lesson in positions. Or at least it was supposed to be…
                The plan was to just let our bodies touch sometimes, like little thing like “accidental” knee brushes that linger too long, but I couldn’t even follow through on the plan because of earlier. I wanted to think it didn’t affect me too much since I gave myself time to calm down and regain my senses, but I think he really outdid me today.
                The fresh smell of his shampoo coming from his hair…the faint scent of toothpaste coming off his breath…the overlappying of his dark lashes...the slight shine on his nose from his facial cleanse earlier, these are things I can remember very easily when I think about how close he got to me. I didn’t even close my eyes or give myself away when he asked if I had been playing with him, but I still couldn’t move and got all stiff. I didn’t even get to breathe much before our heads touched. I thought I could stand my ground, but in the end he made it really difficult and I couldn’t stop myself from sinking to the floor when he left my little space bubble. I never expected Joon Jae to get me back at me or actually flirt or anything yet considering how he seems to be, but it felt like he was really serious in that moment. It felt like more than just flirting. More than just playing these dangerous pranks.
                I think Joon Jae’s love must be like this, very serious because he wants to be bold with people he will love and have them know he is serious for and with them, but also very lively because he can find it in himself to be spontaneous aat times and has that take-your-breath-away kind of feeling always in the atmosphere. It makes my heart beat faster if only just a little bit and makes me think so far Joon Jae looks the most attractive when he likes someone.  
                I wonder if he’ll decide to let himself like me willingly… I won’t really know until I know, but until then (if that happens) I really want to be taken seriously by Joon Jae every once in a while. I like getting to and wooing him, but seeing him be serious with me feels really nice…like something I should cherish sometimes for a little while.
                Just until I get ready to leave…until then I want to see how serious Joon Jae’s heart can get. I just hope I can take it without getting too serious myself. He’s a stronger opponent than I originally thought and I don’t think I could handle it if it was a real relationship. Right now he feels too different…like it’d be dangerous if I let myself fall in love and start something bigger than the both of us. Which is why I wrote in the once in a while.
                Anyway, time to go. I told Joon Jae I would only take a small break. I’ll email again. Sorry for getting so serious. I’ve been thinking too much lately. I guess it won’t matter since you won’t see these anyway. Still, bye for now! I'm going to move heavy furniture and steal peeks at the sweating Joon Jae.~
                ~Takuya

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