Things had gone all wrong after he talked to him.

Yunho had arrived at Unimon minutes before any other royal prince had. Queen Jessica was there but she was not near the birthday boy. She was treating this day as another time to speak about political matters which she did do. Jessica was the only one who was not paying attention to the party. She was there but she did not want to be there. It would look utterly wrong if she were not to go though. Besides, it was a respectful thing to do to celebrate the day a prince was born.

Sadly, because of Jessica's rule it was only the royals and Unimonians who had been able to attend to Prince Kim Jaejoong's birthday. He was quite aware that the kind, nice and respectful people, unlike Queen Jessica, there were others who cared of the royals and would've been honored and pleased to join everyone there to celebrate Jaejoong's seventeenth birthday. There were others who were as happy as he was. He knew there were more good people instead of him. There were others who cared too.

He had spotted the birthday boy. He had wanted to talk to him but he realized his lover was not at all heading anywhere near him. Before any assumptions or thoughts ran in his head, he noticed whom Jaejoong had gone towards. It was Prince Leeteuk and his family. This discovery had made Yunho smile. He shrugged off any odd or uneasy feelings he had a while ago. It did not matter obviously. 

After greeting the family, Jaejoong had turned to be surprised to see his boyfriend. He smiled and so did Yunho. The two young males walked towards each other and embraced each other tightly. They indeed had missed each other even if it had been a day since they have seen each other. There was never a time when they did not miss each other.

Yunho knew they had to be in love.

God had desetine them to be together forever.

That they were truly meant to be.

Yunho had tried, he really had. He had closed his eyes tight and used his imagination. He tried looking at a life without Jaejoong. His father had told him that the person you truly love is the person you can see with you for your entire life. Yunho had thought and tried thinking of anyone else but he was not successful. He tried thinking of falling in love with a friend since that wad who his lover was now: a best friend of his. There was so many friends of his: Kangin, Leeteuk, and many more.

Kangin and him were like brothers and that relationship was the same between him and Leeteuk. It was brotherly, not someone he saw himself touching and kissing. He loved his friends as if they were family, but he did not yearn for them. He was not nervous while speaking to them. Jaejoong had made him feel different and become different as they stayed together. Their relationship had brought in a lot of light into the world of darkness he did not know he had in his heart and mind. 

“I'm happy you're here." Jaejoong leaned in to his lover's ear with a smile on his face.

Yunho chuckled lightly and pulled away with his arms wrapped around Jaejoong's waist. He could see others staring at the corners of his eyes but he neglected them. His focus was not on them though. He was paying attention to the most precious jewel in the world. Nothing could replace it.

“There is no excuse to not attend." Yunho said with a cheerful smile. He ran his hands up and down the beauty's back and wished to kiss his lips and he did indeed. Jaejoong leaned in the kiss and was the one to pull back to look at his lover. Yunho placed his hand under Jaejoong's chin to lift it up a bit. “What reason is there to not be happy today?"

Jaejoong's heart sank by the words his lover. 

What reason is there to not be happy today? 

Jaejoong definitely had a reason to not be happy today. It was his birthday bit there were small reasons to why he was happy right now. The choice he had to make before the day ended was set in his mind. He could not distract himself from this choice he had to make. He was debating on which one to choose and it was no help that he was enclosed by many other people. The people he was surrounded by were happy and had no clue what was going on in his head. They had no clue what he had to decide. 

“Jae? Jae?" The Unimonian Prince snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the voice of his lover. Jaejoong could hear the worry in his tone, so he smiled sweetly to hope the worry of Yunho erases or at least decreases before he made more of a fool of himself. He could not have someone—anyone worry about him today. Right now he could only worry about himself.

ღ ღ ღ

Seconds turned to minutes and minutes turned into hours. The party had went on and so had the day. But no matter how many people he saw and their happiness, it did not make him happy. He was still worrying and he was debating about his choice in his head while he was being distracted by people talking to him and chatting on and on and telling him how happy and proud they are to be there. He did not know if he was happy that they were there or not. He was happy they were here, besides Queen Jessica, but perhaps a different time? 

Perhaps when he was not pressured?

Maybe when he did not have to make a big decision to an important matter?

A different time would have been better than now.

Jaejoong had dismissed himself and made his way towards his own chambers after the "gift opening" session which he wished would have gone faster than it had gone. He noticed Queen Jessica had watched him head to his rooom and this he did not acknowledge or care. He did not care what caught her interest. Her honesty was something that had caught his attention, but besides that she was a cruel and lousy ruler. He wondered who was a better queen: Queen Jessica or her sister? Perhaps neither? 

He made it to his balcony and looked down. He heard the voices and laughter of the guests to this "somewhat special" ocassion, but he tried tuning them out as best as he could just for it to turn futile. What use was there when they were everywhere and there was more than one? It only seemed like an impossible task indeed. He had been too distracted with trying to ignore the voices of the visitors, that he almost did not hear the sound of his bedroom door open and the sound of loud shoes behind him. But he heard them and whomever entered his room. He spinned back to see the Asian Commonwealth Queen right behind him.

"What do you want?!" Jaejoong hissed at her in annoyance. He crossed his two arms and glared at her in disgust. She was not a pretty thing in the inside, that he knew well.

Jessica smirked and placed her two arms on her hips, something she loved doing which was something majority of the princes have seen her done. Usually when she has a plan or is going to get something she wants—or plain success of herself. Jaejoong could see the wheels in her head turning and turning like clockwork. He wondered what was going on in her head.

Nothing good likely, Jaejoong thought in his head.

"I saw the scene between you and Prince Jung Yunho...it made me quite sickened. But who am I to judge?" Jessica said in a mocking tone that Jaejoong wished he could shut her up. He did not trust her words. Her words were laced in much more than a joking or mocking tone; something more that he did not understand.

"And you watchd? How was it?" Jaejoong asked sarcastically, not at all wanting to deal with the woman any longer. But he could not just literally kick her out, besides he wanted to know what her point was here. Why had she came to him? What was so important?

Jessica simply shrugged, not at all affected by Jaejoong's bitterness as if she had expected much from the teenage prince. "Nothing worth it, to me. I would not allow it to last. But I can see that young man has been wrapped around your fingers quite tightly than you would believe. He does not see it either—but who would? You, yourself, did not see it."

"My wish and desire is not to control him." Jaejoong said.

Jessica nodded her head and a look of sympathy crept on her face and this had made Jaejoong annoyed. He did not want or need her pity. "Saddening it is for you to say such things. Many people demand for power, more than I have. It is a quite surprise though: you have so much power over him though you do not use it. You have his heart in your own palms."

"He has mine as well." Jaejoong said sternly.

"Perhaps he does, but that is not why I am here. My question was answered and I do not need a lesson of it, now do I?" Jessica said, sounding annoyed.

"No, I suppose not. But you can use a lesson or two on many things if I may say." Jaejoong said, taunting her.

"You may not, you brat!" Jessica hissed.

"I already did though." Jaejoong said, pleased but he noticed Jessica's expression changing as well. He wondered if perhaps he should have allowed her to continue on or not. 

"How long?" Jessica asked, changing the topic immediately. 

Jaejoong had a thought or two about what she was referring to, but he was not for sure and he did not ask since he did not want to look stupid or something. "Why do you wish to know?" He thought perhaps this question would irritate her and in the same she would be more specific. 

Jessica rolled her eyes and released an annoyed sigh. “Just tell me! What can I do? I have no magic of any sort that would curse you and your ‘lover’.”

Jaejoong continued to glare at her and that did not leave his face—the deadly glare he would continue on to stare at her with. “We’ve been in love ever since the first time we saw each other. Is that specific enough for you?”

Jessica looked annoyed but she shrugged the irritation off since her question was answered luckily. “So young it seems and it is quite a surprise—Prince Kim Kangin and Prince Park Leeteuk were the same but they ended. Very sad isn’t it? Truly sad indeed.”

Jaejoong felt the hairs on his neck prick up. She was speaking so lightly of the two friends of his who had fallen in love young like Yunho and him and who had started dating like them. And sadly the two did not last, why they did not last was something neither Yunho nor Jaejoong knew.

Why did she bring them up? Jaejoong thought in his head. He did not like such topic.

He pitied both Kangin and Leeteuk—they did love each other, everyone could see it and hoped the two would have an everlasting relationship but it had not gone that way sadly. Jaejoong would not ask neither of them since it would not be appropriate and it was none of his business—it was no one but theirs and theirs alone.  He would not pry into whatever happened since that would not be a good friend at all.

“It is indeed a sad thing, I pity them, but why have they been brought into this conversation? Plus, why do you care? Their relationship, neither does mine and Yunho’s, having nothing to do with you at all.”

“No, you’re right. It has nothing to do with me, but everything to do with you four alone and only. But…I have thought of many things and I think you would like to hear of them I can assure you.” Jessica explained.

Jaejoong seemed a bit interested in what she had to say. What things that she thought had anything to do with him and Yunho?

“Like what?” Jaejoong asked, curious.

Jessica sighed deeply and shrugged simply as if it did not matter. “Something not as small as you think—not everyone knows of your relationship and you better hope it never leaks anymore. The small scene would be simply meant it was merely a friendly embrace is what others will believe which is good enough and that is all it will be known of for now and that’s for the best.”

“What do you mean?” Jaejoong asked in confusion. He only understood a small portion of where she was getting to and what she truly meant.

“You both cannot continue on with this relationship at all.” Jessica said simply with a anger laced in her tone and her expression as well.

Once again, why does she care? Jaejoong thought with a grudge on the queen. She had no right to say such things.

“And why not?” Jaejoong asked.

Jessica felt challenged and she spoke on. “You both are heirs to your own realms. Both people of both realms will be expecting another heir—one conceived with your blood. The Jung bloodline shall continue on and so shall the Kim’s. Do you wish to disappoint your people and your parents?”

He had forgotten about his parents once this conversation had started. It had not concerned them and they had not been mentioned until now.

Thinking about disappointing his people was different than his parents. Perhaps they had already disappointed him? He only had them, two people, against his people who were thousands. He did not wish to fail either one of them. It would be a disappointment to him if he were to fail someone or many others.

I do not wish to fail anyone ever, Jaejoong thought deeply in his head.

“I do not wish to fail anyone in any life.” Jaejoong said.

“Then you must choose to let go of your love or not. Yunho should be quite aware of this—someone must’ve told him, probably his father or stepmother by now. It is different between Prince Kim Yesung and Prince Park Ryeowook or Prince Jung Siwon and Prince Kim Kibum, a quite different situation indeed. Yunho, Kangin, Leeteuk, and you are not in that situation sadly which is something you all should know by now.

 It is only foolish for no one to know about this. You all have been trained and groomed to be rulers and in order to continue on with the ruling of your own you must have your own kin—children, heirs or heiresses.” Jessica explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the entire world.

Jaejoong’s heart had sunken once more; the second time in one day. He had thought the only bad and pressuring  thing happening was the choice making. It seems like there were two things he had to decide on. All of the heirs were being expected of highly and no one would respect them or look up to them if they did make a mistake or wrong someone. Jaejoong did not want Yunho or him to fail. 

We cannot fail our people nor our parents. We must do right than wrong, we must not disappoint anyone, Jaejoong thought in his head with fear and sadness welling up inside of him. 

Jessica leaned closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder and sent him another sympathetic look. "I'll leave you to think all you want. In your position it is not...something easily to take and accept." The queen exited Jaejoong's room afterwards. 

Jaejoong's tears finally fell. He had hoped they would not fall today since he thought there was no reason for them to. Jaejoong did not think today would be a day to cry. Like everyone thought, he too had thought it would be a happy day as well. He would confront his parents and they would answer his questions. His friends would visit and they would have a good time. Yunho would be with him and everything, every nightmare, would decrease all because of his lover. Sadly, being with him would make things worst for the both of them and for everyone.

Our last, Jaejoong thought in his head before breaking into hard, loud sobs and falling onto his knees. This was more harder than he would have expected and wanted. But his lover had been right: none of this would be straightforward and simple. It would be the exact opposite. 

ღ ღ ღ

He had to stay calm.

He was aware that it would be quite an embarrassment to burst into tears in front of every man and woman, old and young, at the party. He knew he was breaking by time and he could not stop it sadly. There was so much pressure he wished he could release and he could not entirely release it all saddening enough it was for him.

Long ago, he was able to see the masks on the people who worked in the castle known as his home. Years ago, he was able to see that no one was being utterly honest with him. Once upon a time, there was that time when the pressure and weight was lifted off of him once he spoke to his lover—Ziroian Prince Jung Yunho. That was then and now was now.

He had to find Yunho without completely becoming a mess. Perhaps Yunho would understand? Maybe he too felt there was something wrong with them being together? He did not know! Jaejoong had not felt anything wrong with their relationship besides the fact that not everyone would agree but not everyone would dislike the closeness of theirs. They were both aware of that type of opinion…

Maybe they did know about needing an heir? Perhaps they were aware that they both had separate realms of their own? Maybe they did know but they just decided to avoid that fact? They knew they would have to have an heir or heiress, but they just yearned for each other only and no one else? Even if their dreams, wishes, and fantasies were for them only to be together…it would have to fade away.

Jaejoong had stopped crying when he realized he had no time to sob. He ran out of his bedroom and tried to look for Yunho. There was no better time to tell him besides now. If he allowed this to drag on it would only be harder for the both of them—harder for Jaejoong to accept it and tell him. Besides, Jaejoong liked that he was the one to know about this fact—it would have been extremely painful to Yunho to have to let go and accept this news.

It seems like tonight there will only be one person I will fail, Jaejoong thought as one last tear escaped from his right eye. It was Yunho or his parents and people and he had already made his decision. 

ღ ღ ღ

Jaejoong had found Yunho outside looking at the Ocean and at the shining white moon from above. He believed his lover could sense there was someone there and by the corner of his eyes, Jaejoong knew Yunho could see who it was if he had noticed already.

Yunho turned away from the beautiful glistening water and sparkling stars and moon to look at something more beautiful. He was happy to see his lover but noticed the slight sadness in Jaejoong’s eyes. It made him worry and he knew now he would question Jaejoong instead of waiting later on or a day later.

The two were finally close to each other and Yunho could see a tear stain on Jaejoong’s right cheek. His eyes looked a bit puffy and red; he must have been crying and wiped away his eyes to not have anyone notice his crying.

Yunho took his lover’s hands in his own and whispered softly. “Jae, what is wrong? Do not say you weren’t crying because I could see your eyes and they are not full of happiness and joy like they should be.”

Jaejoong had wiped his eyes as best as he could so no one would notice. But did he really think he could fool Yunho? The two knew each other well and understood each other unlike all of those people inside still enjoying a party that was likely over by now—they were just waiting for 12:00 to strike. The last time Jaejoong had checked, the time had said: 11:25. He still had time left.

Jaejoong smiled sadly and his voice cracked a bit. He could not hold it as much as he thought he would be able to. “We…heirs and heiresses are expected of so much.”

Yunho was confused. What was his lover talking about? He was quite aware of that but what did that have to do with him being sad? Yunho did not understand at all, but he nodded his head. Jaejoong was not wrong about them being expected of so much that people could only imagine what they were truly expected of. They would never completely know or understand since they were not them.

“Yes, I understand.” Yunho said, softly and gentle to not startle his lover.

Jaejoong blinked more than once before answering and speaking more. “People can only imagine our suffering and what we are expected of. Others do not truly understand what we sacrifice and what we have to lose in order to be fine.”

What we must sacrifice and lose, Jae? What are you saying? What do you mean, my love? You are confusing me dearly, Yunho thought in his now aching head.

“Jae…” Yunho did not know what else to say. His expression was clear enough to Jaejoong that he was basically confused.

But Jaejoong did not stop. He went on.

“In life things are not easy; they only get harder every obstacle. Every step you take is nothing but a risk you are willing to take. There is an obstacle…of ours…and I…I sadly cannot continue on with it. It must end without any more pain.” Jaejoong explained, tears spilling from his cheeks and onto the ground and his clothes.

Yunho was completely confused.

He did not like the tears falling and when he tried to wipe them away from his lover, Jaejoong moved a step back. What was this? Why was he rejecting him?

“J-Jae…please talk to me. I am, I am so con—” Yunho was cut off by Jaejoong.

“It’s over.” Jaejoong said and there was a silence.

Things were going to quick or too slow, Yunho did not know. He did not understand what was happening. He did not understand why it was happening to begin with. What was Jaejoong saying? Why was he saying it?

“W-what’s o-over?” Yunho asked, he had a clue to what he meant but he wanted to be for sure. He did not want to have belief in something he had no extra facts or accurate answers about.

“Our relationship…is over, Yun.” Jaejoong whispered.

Yunho slowly turned away and looked at the water and his own reflection. He saw the sadness on his face and in his eyes. He felt anger and sadness well up in him. He had confessed…he had kissed him…he had given him his heart and all of him and…he gives up on them?! How dare him!?

“Y-Yunho…” Jaejoong called out.

“Why Jae...why Jaejoong…” Yunho muttered.

“Yunho…”

Yunho wheeled around. “WHY, JAE, WHY?!” He yelled with anger on his expression and tears pouring from his eyes. He stared at Jaejoong with sadness and anger. He could not hold these feelings. It was quite impossible to do so.

“I loved you! I was loyal to you and I would’ve never betrayed you ever! Never would I have done such things to you! Why Jaejoong, why would you break us?! Are we not worth fighting for? Why would you not love me? Why would you betray me? Why would you do this, Kim Jaejoong, why?!” Yunho yelled at the top of his lungs.

Jaejoong shuddered by the loudness and the words of his now former lover. He had ended it. He had betrayed Yunho. He had become disloyal to him and stopped loving him. Yunho would hate him forever and he could not help but understand him. He would hate himself to if he was in Yunho’s position. It was not Yunho’s fault—not even Jessica’s.

Jaejoong had ended it.

“Why?” Was the last thing that had come out of Yunho’s mouth before storming away from Jaejoong.

I’m sorry Yunho, I really am, Jaejoong thought in his head before crying harder and harder.

It was all his fault.

But it did not matter at all anymore.

This was his choice to make.

And he had made his choice. 

ღ ღ ღ

11:45

Jaejoong was in pain. He felt numb. The happiness and joy he had once had—the feelings he had once felt were completely drained out of him. He was still sad, but anger was welling up in him as well. And he was not angry at Yunho and he had no time to think or care about Jessica. He was mad and himself, and his parents.

It took him a minute or two to gather some sort of strength he managed to grasp. He knew he would have to regain his full strength in a day or week; it did not matter to him. He took a deep breath and ran from where Yunho and he had looked at each other one last time with nothing but each other holding them back.

I had something holding me back, he did not, Jaejoong corrected himself in his head. The last time they had nothing against them was hours ago before Jessica had told him anything.

He had entered the castle and retraced his steps back and went to the Unimonian library where he found no one but empty tables and books full of shelves. He had heard voices and laughter of the guests, who had come, in the ballroom. His parents were probably somewhere else and he did not stop his search. He entered the throne room to get to another room just to see his two parents sitting on their thrones.

He stared at the expressions on their faces. His father, King Shin Young, looked as if he was waiting for something but was not at all being patient about it. As for his mother, Queen Min Jun looked nervous and anxious but she seemed pretty calming.

“Umma, appa…you are here because?” Jaejoong asked, impatient. He showed his amount of patience when he crossed his arms.

His father was the one to answer first and lift his head up to look at his son and his wife followed afterwards. “My dear son, we are waiting for you. We wondered how long it would be until you would answer your question.”

Jaejoong did not say anything to his parents since he knew they were waiting and he enjoyed the fact that it would annoy them. They likely wanted him to say something. But he understood well enough that they were also getting back at him for his actions in trying to pry into their secrets or lies. It concerned him and he was aware of that.

They knew that as well.

“It is almost the end of the night, Jae. You must choose.” Queen Min Jun said in a tauntingly. Jaejoong wished she would not have to remind him of something he did not want to be reminded of.

You must choose.

Jaejoong stared at his parents—not stare, but glared. He would not show them happiness and would not show the care of their waiting or patience. They would not test his thought—he would not allow them. He needed to figure out what they were hiding or why.

“I guess today is a day of choosing and making decisions.” Jaejoong said not knowing whether or not they would take that a joke or not. He wondered how he actually took it.

“Jaejoong, what do you wish to know?” King Shin Young asked.

Jaejoong did not hear them. He did not care about them. His mind had been distracted—he had distracted himself by memories and recalling something.

Why Jae...why Jaejoong…I loved you! I was loyal to you and I would’ve never betrayed you ever! Never would I have done such things to you! Why Jaejoong, why would you break us?! Are we not worth fighting for? Why would you not love me? Why would you betray me? Why would you do this, Kim Jaejoong, why?! Why?

“Why…” Jaejoong muttered under his breath as he too wondered why he had broken them up. But that was a question he already had the answer to.

“What?” His two parents asked in unison.

Jaejoong looked at his parents directly and shook his head to erase his thoughts. He straightened his back.

“I want to know why.” Jaejoong whispered and they heard.

He asked me why and I did not answer, I will ask why and I get to be answered, Jaejoong thought in his head as he controlled himself from breaking into tears. He would find out why his parents had kept something away from him. 

“We wanted to keep things from going horrible. We did not want you hurt or anyone else. There were more people involved in this secret we’ve kept from you. Telling you earlier would’ve made things quite complicated.” Queen Min Jun explained her eyes glassy and her voice cracking.

He did not say anything. He wanted them to continue on. Jaejoong had already broken down and now it was their turn.

“This would’ve harmed you and two other people. Everyone would’ve known and there would’ve been so much commotion. Please know that we love you and we wanted to protect you and anything else we could.” King Shin Young said. Jaejoong nodded his head and allowed it to set in him.

I now know why, Jaejoong thought in his as a single tear fell from his cheek and landed on the throne room floor. 

12:00 A.M.