Pain was all he felt. Agony was a different pain, more extreme but he did not think he could compare this pain with that one. No. He was probably wrong about what pain he was feeling. He knew it was nothing physical, but mental and emotional. He was worried about his brother. He was worried about Siwon as well. Both were suffering in different ways and no one would ever know how much the pain was.

Kangin knew Kibum was suffering through physical pain in his head since fire had hit him hard even though it was utterly an accident. But he was also suffering through some type of amnesia. It , Kangin believed. But what would he know? It was probably more painful and horrible than he or any other person would be able to imagine. He had no clue what it was like since he had all of his memories. He remembered everyone who was in his life. Kibum could not sadly.

"One day he might regain his memories, hopefully. Sadly for that to happen it is nothing we doctors can do about it. For now it is only hope." The doctor had told them, both Ziroian and Amiopian.

King Bae Wook and Queen Ji Yeon had gone to see for a second time about their youngest son's issue but it was not any different from what the previous Royal Doctor had told them. Only hope and praying, and wishing could fix what had happened to Kibum. This did not make things easier even though everyone was dealing with it.

Kangin knew it must be hard for one person—Prince Jung Siwon. No one blamed him for what he did; he was merely trying to protect the younger prince just to accidentally aim and hurt the wrong person. The attacker who should have been hit was caught but that would not make things different. The capture of the attacker would not awaken Kibum from his amnesia. The attacker being put in his right place would not bring back memories to the young prince.

Kangin was very much aware to what was told to Siwon by his father and stepmother. He was there with his parents when they were being told what was wrong with Kibum—why he did not know Siwon. Why he did not remember him.

It did seem best for Siwon to not deal with it. The feelings between the two were strong and their bond was meant to be together than a part. But Kangin agreed with his parents. It was for the best for both princes; Kibum and Siwon would continue on with their lives. Kibum would not get better if he was pressured and Siwon would be wasting his time trying to make someone remember who he was.

It was wrong for both of them. Kibum would not understand it and would feel stressed and would likely want nothing to do with the arrangement. Plus, Siwon would not be getting anywhere. It was best for Kibum to remember on his own with no one doing things drastic. It seemed right and better that way.

The sadness of it all made Kangin shut down quickly. He was mad, angry. He did not like the feeling at all but it seemed to have corrupted his mind. He wanted someone to talk to and by doing that he had asked for Leeteuk, his "boyfriend" to come over to visit which the other did not recline and seemed to find it perfectly fine to leave and visit. The two were sitting where they were when they were talking about the avoiding mode King Il Hoon and Queen Ji Ling were in when it had to do with their youngest son.

"I'm so sorry about what happened to Bummie." Leeteuk said as he sat right beside his lover.

Kangin had been quiet and now he opened his mouth to talk full of displeasure. "Yeah...it is indeed horrible. I wonder how this will turn out for him."

Leeteuk smiled softly and placed a hand on his lover's shoulder. "It will be okay. Everyone can get through this."

Kangin looked into the other's eyes and saw innocence. There should be no reason for anyone to hurt this innocent, angelic soul. He found no reason and he would be despised at whoever thought it was perfectly fine and that there was a reason to do something bad to him. He would never find peace with that person, ever.

Honestly was something everyone liked. Loyalty was very much valued. Honesty and loyalty were things Leeteuk valued indeed. Kangin wanted to tell him. He always had. There was every reason for him to tell him. He would now because it was the right thing to do. It concerned Leeteuk and if it did than it was meant for him to know.

"Teukie...I have something to tell you." Kangin said, in a tone of exhaustion.

Leeteuk's attention was completely on him. "What is it, Kangin?"

Kangin felt nervous. He had not thought about ever telling him and he did not want to. But what if there was not a time like this at all? Perhaps this would be his only shot to tell him? If so, Kangin would want him to know.

This...this was a mistake, I know it was… I...I want nothing to do with it!

Those words were not for him but they felt like swords at his skin. Whoever they truly were he hoped they lived a good life. He could not do much besides pray and hope. But he hoped and prayed his family would be okay and safe just for things to go different.

"Your...your mother she ..." Kangin's words had trailed off since he did not know if he could say it. It was something no one could simply say especially in the way he was going to say it. "She doesn't love Wookie."

Leeteuk's eyes had widened and his head turned away from Kangin. This was not something you take simply in your head. Leeteuk removed his hand from Kangin's shoulder and folded his two hands.

“What are you talking about?" Leeteuk asked his voice almost as quiet as a mouse's.

It felt different now that it was out. There seemed to be nothing much to be kept hidden from anyone. If it was some sort of lie or secret it seemed to be lifted off his shoulders right after he had released it from his mouth. Everything was fine now. Leeteuk knew.

"Your mother...doesn't care about—" Kangin was cut off.

"Don't say that! You're....you're wrong." Leeteuk said with a cracking voice and glassy eyes that he would not reveal to Kangin.

He's avoiding it, Kangin thought in his head.

Leeteuk was not taking this to consideration. He had talked to Kangin about this once and it just made perfect sense that Queen Ji Ling had no care for Ryeowook; it was the reason to why she was avoiding her own flesh and blood.

Kangin nodded his head. "Yes. It is true, Teukie."

"No...No, you have no idea what you're talking about!" Leeteuk said as he stood up from where he sat on the rock.  

Kangin was not wrong Leeteuk was. He was just telling his lover what was the truth. He was telling him why Leeteuk's parents were being this way towards Ryeowook.

"I do, Teukie. This is what they feel! Can't you see that?" Kangin said.

Leeteuk's back was facing his lover. Kangin could hear the small sobs he did not ever wish to hear. This sight confused him really. His innocent lover slowly turned to look at him. Leeteuk's eyes were red and puffy and tears were continuously cascading down his two cheeks. The innocent orbs Kangin had previously been looking at were full of sadness.

"You don't know." Leeteuk whispered and turned away to walk away. But before completely leaving he stopped and that was when Kangin had chased after him. "Leave me alone." That was a clear sign to Kangin that what there once was...was no more.

As he watched Leeteuk leave a new type of pain had corrupted him. This had nothing to do with what Kibum and Siwon were going through nor did it have anything to do with amnesia. He wished he could forget these feelings, they were not pleasant and he wished they would fade away. For a second he wondered why everything had gone so wrong. What had he done?

Was he wrong?

Or was Leeteuk wrong?

Who had not understood?

The memory of Leeteuk's saddened eyes made him feel guilty and so had the tears that cascaded down his face. The words and tone that was released from Leeteuk had been something Kangin remembered and confused him.

Leeteuk denied his parents not loving or caring about Ryeowook. It was quite painful to accept the fact that your own parents had no care or love for someone you admired or loved. Leeteuk and Ryeowook were brothers and their parents were not paying any attention to him at all...Kangin saw something had had not seen before.

Who would want to hear the fact that their parents did not love them anymore? Who would be able to continue to live on knowing that the people who once loved you...would not love you anymore? A pain it must be. A feeling that Kangin knew he likely would never feel. Now he felt even guiltier.  As he stood with no one there tears were shed from him and the tears did not land on anything or anyone besides the ground. He had hurt his lover. It was indeed his own fault.