A/N: Hey, everyone!

SUPER LONG and CHAOTIC chapter ahead of us! :P

Enjoy!

With so many members, the Super Junior kitchen was already normally cramped and full when everyone sits down together for a meal. Add five DBSK members to it and there wasn’t any room to drop a needle.

Well, alright, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but you get how close to exploding the room was with so many people packed in it.

DBSK and Super Junior have already finished eating the wonderful dinner made by Jaejoong and Ryeowook, and they were all just chatting and catching up with each other happily. The obvious exception to this was Changmin, who was still eating. It’s not that he ate slow or anything like that- it’s more like he was already eating through his seventh helping of everything. Kyuhyun sat beside him, giving him a look at that was both judgmental and disgusted, but there was also a fond glimmer in his eyes.

Junsu paused from his conversation with Eunhyuk and turned to his maknae. “Are you still not finished eating, Min?”

Changmin popped a huge shrimp into his mouth and said, while doing an impersonation of a chipmunk with his cheeks stuffed full like that, “Of course not, hyung! Look at how much food there still is! And I haven’t even had dessert yet!”

Right. Of course.

So, after about another hour later, when Changmin had finished all the remaining food (the serving dishes were so clean and sparkly that they probably didn’t even have to be washed anymore, if only Ryeowook wouldn’t have an aneurysm about it) and had eaten his share of dessert (which was five times more than everyone’s else share put together), did the DBSK and SJ dinner technically finish.

“So… whose turn is it to do the dishes?” Leeteuk asked the big question of the night, turning to look at his bandmates.

“Yewook’s, I think,” Kibum answered his leader.

Since everyone had gotten together, chore assignments were reorganized so that the couples do it together. Of course, that meant that it took much longer to get the chores done, but no one would complain against it. Not even the leader, Leeteuk, since he also enjoyed the “private time” he got with Kangin when they’re actually supposed to be vacuuming the living room instead.

“But I already did the cooking tonight!” Ryeowook protested. “Let Eunhae do it!”

Eunhae was next on the ‘kitchen cleaning’ duty after Yewook.

“I wanted to spend time with Hyukie, hyung,” Donghae pouted at Leeteuk. It was the pout that let him get away with anything and had Leeteuk greatly battling with his sense of fairness.

“Well-“ Leeteuk began to say uncertainly.

“Oh, please,” Kyuhyun cut off his leader, rolling his eyes. “You already spend too much time with him as it is!” The evil maknae was not about to forget seeing Eunhae making out on the couch that afternoon any time soon.

“Let the evil maknaes do it!” Eunhyuk quickly suggested to his leader, scowling at Kyuhyun and Changmin, who was seriously focused on the last traces of ice cream off his spoon so that it would be sparkly clean like the rest of dishes.

Kyuhyun glared at his hyung and Changmin paused in mid-, his tongue flat against the spoon.

‘Do not turn red! Do not turn red! Do NOT turn red!’ Kyuhyun chanted in his thoughts. ‘There is no reason for you to turn red!’

“Yah! My turn to do the chores is still far!” Kyuhyun shouted.

“But we’re all too busy tonight,” Siwon said, wrapping his arms around Kibum.

“You mean you’re all too pathetically in love! Just because I don’t have a love life doesn’t mean I get to pick-up after your chores so you guys can have !”

But all the others were already murmuring agreements to Eunhyuk’s suggestion.

“I think it’s fair, since it means that Changmin would help, too,” Yunho said thoughtfully. “I mean, it’s not fair if Super Junior does all the cleaning, we ate, too. Changmin can be our representative.”

“I am not going to be your 'representative' in chores!” Changmin snarled. “You want to help, do it yourself!”

“Teukie hyung, don’t make them do this to us!” Kyuhyun whined and pouted at Leeteuk. He was not above acting cute if it would get him out of chores! Changmin did the same thing with Jaejoong.

Kangin and Yunho quickly covered Leeteuk’s and Jaejoong’s eyes before they can succumb to the power of the maknaes. How such evil creatures could act so innocent and cute, their hyungs will never know!

“You evil maknaes clean this up,” Heechul, taking authority from his position as second eldest, said in a tone of finality.

Kyuhyun and Changmin glared at the injustice of it all as their hyungs stretched and made to get up from their chairs.

“AFTER EVERYTHING WE’VE DONE FOR YOU, THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY US?!” Kyuhyun yelled indignantly.

“You mean after all the numerous pranks you’ve pulled on us? Yes, this is how we repay you for that,” Ryeowook answered, sticking his tongue out at his only member who was younger than him.

“You wouldn’t be with Yesung hyung right now if it weren’t for us!”

Well.

That got everyone’s attention for sure.

“What are you talking about?” Yesung and Ryeowook asked together.

Kyuhyun and Changmin looked at each for a few moments, seemingly communicating with their eyes. They both nodded a bit and turned to face their confused hyungs again.

“Well, we didn’t plan to do the big revelation now, but since you’re bullying and taking advantage of your maknaes right now…” Changmin said slowly.

If the hyungs weren’t so intrigued, they would have scoffed. Bully the maknaes? It was more like the maknaes bullied the hyungs.

“You idiots should know that it’s Changmin and I who are behind each and every couple’s getting together,” Kyuhyun finished for Changmin.

The hyungs jaws fell on top of the table upon hearing that.

“So, you really shouldn’t be ordering us around,” Changmin continued.

“Yeah, in fact, after what we’ve done for you, you should be serving us,” Kyuhyun glared again.

“I- we- what?!” Junsu managed to stutter out, which pretty much summed up the thoughts of everyone at the moment.

“We played matchmakers on you,” Changmin rolled his eyes.

“YOU DID WHAT?!” Jaejoong suddenly shrieked, getting over his shock.

That had Changmin quickly backtracking. It was never a good sign when Jaejoong shrieked like that. “Er- uhm, I mean-“

“SHIM CHANGMIN!”

“It was all Kyuhyun’s idea!” Changmin shouted shrilly, pointing an accusing finger at his best friend who was now glaring at him instead. “He made me do it! He came up with that stupid idea! He forced me into it, hyung!”

Sungmin giggled and made sure that no one but Shindong heard him. “Changmin’s ‘whipped’ already, and they’re not yet even together!”

“Thank you for that, Changmin,” Kyuhyun gritted through his teeth, annoyed.

Yoochun rolled his eyes. “Yeah, because your wimpy best friend could totally physically force you into something.”

“Well, he-“

“I AM NOT WIMPY!”

“Everyone, calm down!” Leeteuk said loudly, trying to restore order. “Let’s all be calm and rational and get to the bottom of this, okay?”

The Super Junior leader then turned to the evil maknaes. “Now, explain this- this- matchmaking more, you two.”

“Did you idiots really think you can get together on your own?” Kyuhyun asked rhetorically, rolling his eyes at the mere thought of how the hyungs used to dance around each other but never really did anything about it.

“So, you’re saying that-“

But Kyuhyun launched into speech, cutting off Leeteuk. “We were sick and tired of how you guys just won’t get together! We came up with the idea to just match all of you to make everyone’s lives easier! We had to come up with all those plans to get you idiots together! We had to deal with your idiocy that made the matchmaking thing doubly hard for us! We had to spend our free time thinking and putting our plans into action! WE BROUGHT EVERY COUPLE HERE TOGETHER. And now we’re still the ones who need to wash these dishes?! I don’t think so! Not happening, hyung!” He even slammed his fist on the table for good measure to emphasize his point.

A few minutes of silence as it took a while for the hyungs to absorb what Kyuhyun had ranted at them.

“You- you mean to say that those- those situations where we became couples didn’t happen naturally?” Siwon asked eventually.

“Duh,” Kyuhyun said. “I mean, it’s not like you guys had the brain power to get together on your own. Of course it had to be the evil genius maknaes who are behind it!”

Changmin nodded fervently at that.

The hyungs were still too surprised by the revelation to be offended by the insult to their intelligence levels.

“Oh,” was all that Siwon could reply to that. He paused, then said, “Well, okay, I guess Kibum and I will do the dishes tonight.”

“Say what now?!” Kibum shouted at his boyfriend.

“Bummie, if what they say is true, we can’t make the maknaes wash the dishes! We owe them!” Siwon said earnestly.

“If you want to be a noble prat about it, don’t drag me along,” Kibum sulked, folding his arms across his chest. He was so not in the mood to wash mountains of dishes tonight! He had been in the 'mood' for something else, thank you very much.

“This is all just an elaborate prank on us, isn’t it?!” Eunhyuk managed to find his voice again. “This is ‘matchmaking’ thing is an elaborate set-up, isn’t it?!”

“Well, maybe,” Kyuhyun smirked. “But the point is you still got together because of us. Like what Siwon hyung said, you owe us.”

“Well, thank you, then, I guess?” Ryeowook said in a hesitant, somehow feeling that the maknaes are asking for way more than a simple ‘thank you’.

He was right.

“’Thank you’ is nice, but monetary payment is better,” Kyuhyun said, smirking along with Changmin.

Yoochun gulped fearfully at this. He had a feeling that this was what the evil maknaes were talking about when he intruded in their talk earlier. This was that plan they were coming up with! And not only was his wishful thinking of not being included not granted, but apparently the maknaes were planning against all of their hyungs! They were doomed.

“Monetary payment?” the hyungs all repeated in bewilderment.

Kyuhyun then produced folded sheets of paper from his pocket and handed them around. “This is for Sibum… And here’s Yoosu’s… Yunjae… Yewook…”

And so on, until each pair had a piece of paper.

“What the hell is this supposed to be?” Kangin demanded as the couples unfolded the pieces of paper to unveil long price lists.

“Your bills, duh.”

“Bills?” the hyungs spoke as one again.

“Well, when you avail of a service, you have to pay for it, don’t you?” Kyuhyun grinned widely.

“You guys didn’t really think our matchmaking services were free, did you?” Changmin asked rhetorically, raising an eyebrow.

The hyungs all stared at them again.

Kyuhyun had handed Hanchul’s paper to Hankyung first, and Heechul snatched it from him now. He took one look at its contents and screeched, “YOU LITTLE BRATS ARE ACTUALLY CHARGING US?!”

“Nothing’s free in this world anymore, hyung,” Kyuhyun stated calmly.

“So, you two didn’t do it just out of the goodness of your hearts?” Siwon frowned, now suddenly disappointed at the maknaes. Though why he was actually disappointed, nobody knew. He really should have expected something like this from the evil maknaes.

And his boyfriend rightfully said skeptically, “What ‘goodness’?”

“What ‘hearts’?!” Eunhyuk added.

“Say what you will, as long as you pay us.”

That statement from Kyuhyun had Jaejoong’s legendary temper making itself quite known. The lead vocalist stood up and slammed his hands down on the table. “FIRST, YOU PLAY WITH US AND NOW YOU’RE CHARGING US?! I WILL KILL YOU, CHO KYUHYUN!”

“Hey, that’s our baby!” Leeteuk spoke up, glaring at Jaejoong for threatening Kyuhyun. The Super Junior leader was right now torn between wanting to scold Kyuhyun for pranking (there’s no getting around it, the matchmaking really is a prank, no matter how the evil maknaes put it) them or acting on his “mama bear” instincts and protecting his maknae.

Kyuhyun cringed in pain and embarrassment at the word ‘baby’. He glared at Changmin, who was now laughing at his expense.

Kangin, however, was on Jaejoong’s side. “Yah, Jungsu! Let him kill that evil maknae!”

Leeteuk shifted his glare from Jaejoong to Kangin, but Kangin said angrily, shoving their own list under Leeteuk’s nose so that the leader can take a good look at it, “Have you seen this?! They’re making us pay $5,000 for the ‘Matchmaking Fee’. $5,000!”

(A/N: Prices are in dollars because I don’t know the Korean Won equivalents/conversions.)

“Actually, hyung, that’s not exactly right,” Kyuhyun told Kangin unexpectedly, the evil smirk on his face widening even further. “What’s actually written there is ‘$5,000*’. Don’t forget the asterisk.”

Sure enough, the first thing on each list –right at the very top, so there’s no way you can miss it- was “Matchmaking Fee- $5,000*”.

“And what does the asterisk mean?” Hankyung asked carefully, feeling that they wouldn’t like whatever it means.

“If the price has an asterisk, you need to pay both of us the amount,” Changmin explained, his evil smirk matching Kyuhyun’s perfectly.

“So, for the ‘Matchmaking Fee’, each couple needs to give $5,000 to me and another $5,000 to Changmin,” Kyuhyun announced triumphantly.

The hyungs’ mouths fell open in shock.

$5,000 TO EACH OF THE MAKNAES?!

Leeteuk turned his head sharply to Jaejoong. “I’ll let you kill my maknae if you let me kill yours.”

Because Leeteuk still couldn’t bring himself to harm his own maknae, but really, $10,000?! Kyuhyun was totally asking for murder with that price, so he’d let Jaejoong do it for him. And, as a bonus, Leeteuk can kill Changmin instead. He has no qualms about that one. The deal would totally be a win-win for him.

Jaejoong was too angry to speak, though. He opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, ready to let the two evil maknaes have it, but he just couldn’t form the words.

“ARE YOU TWO NUTS?!” Eunhyuk demanded. It wasn't usually like him to shout like this (Super Junior usually leaves all the shouting to two eldest members), but this was insane! He and Donghae weren’t going to pay the evil maknaes a whopping $10,000 in total just for a ‘Matchmaking Fee’! “THERE ARE PROFESSIONAL MATCHMAKING AGENCIES OUT THERE AND THEY DON’T CHARGE NOWHERE NEAR YOUR PRICES!”

“They may be professional, but we’re the best,” Kyuhyun sniffed loftily.

“That doesn’t even make any sense!” Yesung said, scratching his head in confusion.

“Wookie, I think Yesung hyung is saying that you’re not worth $10,000,” Kyuhyun told Ryeowook, all the time smirking evilly at Yesung.

Ryeowook gave Yesung an injured look.

“I didn’t say that!” Yesung wailed, panicked. He quickly pulled Ryeowook into a hug. “I love you, Wookie! Everything’s worth it if it means I get to have you!”

“Excellent!” Kyuhyun nodded. “So, that means you’ll have no problem paying $5,000 each to me and Changmin, then, Yesung hyung?”

Yesung scowled at him, but didn’t say anything, afraid that it will upset Ryeowook again.

“By the way, don’t forget that the ‘Matchmaking Fee’ is only the beginning,” Changmin said casually. “There are more… fees… there, since we needed more… resources… to get each couple together.”

All the hyungs’ eyes quickly went back to their lists.

“’Babysitting’,” Yesung read on their list. Then, he saw the price beside it and his eyes widened dramatically. “$3,000?!”

“I didn’t know that Yewook already had a love child,” Heechul, distracted from his own list, smirked at them.

Yesung choked on the air and Ryeowook blushed.

“I wouldn’t have charged for that one, actually, but Kyuhyun insisted on that price,” Changmin told Yesung.

“Well, looking after turtles is a bit different than babysitting an actual kid, that’s why it’s that expensive,” Kyuhyun said dismissively.

The truth was that he was still harboring ill feelings towards Ddangkoma and decided to take it out on poor Yesung instead by charging him a lot of money for it.

Yesung’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when he realized what Kyuhyun had said.

“IT WAS YOU TWO WHO KIDNAPPED MY TURTLE!” Yesung accused them angrily. It was rare for Yesung to get seriously angry, but his beloved turtle was something that he was very protective off. It made him ill to think about her left alone in the company of the two evil maknaes. “HOW DARE YOU TAKE HER LIKE THAT?! DO YOU KNOW HOW I FELT WHEN I SAW THAT SHE WAS MISSING?!”

“You lose her all the time,” Kyuhyun pointed out.

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT! IF I FIND OUT THAT YOU TWO HURT HER-!” Yesung threatened.

“We’re not psychopaths, hyung,” Kyuhyun rolled his eyes at the accusation.

“Wouldn’t surprise me if you were,” Eunhyuk muttered loudly.

Kyuhyun just ignored Eunhyuk.

Of course, after how Ddangkoma seduced Changmin, Kyuhyun was more than willing to hurt her, but he knew the turtle’s ‘Changmin oppa’ wouldn’t l