Quiet. That’s the word that everybody would use to describe the situation on the dorms for a while. For some reason, the fights between Sehun and Baekhyun had been less frequent these days, only a jab here and there. Furthermore, they had seemed to lose some of the previous aggression.

“This is really weird!” commented Tao to Yixing in a low whisper, trying not to be heard which was not an easy task since Chanyeol and Luhan were facing each other off in a videogame and yelling at each other.

“What is weird? I see nothing weird!” replied Yixing surveying the room. Everyone was there, save for Kyungsoo, Junmyeon and Jongdae. The previous two were making dinner and Jongdae had just finished a shower and was, if Yixing would guess, dressing himself. Minseok was reading some article on his phone and Kris was helping him by translating parts of it. Sehun was attentively watching the game that was being played while Jongin was sleeping, his head nicely pillowed in Baekhyun’s plush tights while the other read some book and played with his locks.

“Sehun and Baekhyun hyung, they are being civil towards each other.”

“Isn’t that good? Maybe they have settled things between them.”

“I highly doubt that.” snorted Tao. “Ever since Baekhyun hyung got hurt, Sehun is a little different. He is not as passionate as he used to be in taunting and hyung, without people spiking his temper, is a little bit calmer; still a tiny hurricane but calmer.”

“Baekhyun has no reason to fight him off, so he doesn’t. He’s more mature than you would guess!” commented Yixing, thinking about the subject deeply.

“But Sehun isn’t so what changed?”

“Maybe because Baekhyun is injured?” asked Yixing tilting his head to point at the bandage wrapped against Baekhyun’s right elbow. “Or maybe it’s because he’s starting to like Baekhyun.”

“Are you kidding me hyung? If Sehun had three wishes the first one would be a large house for himself, the second one a big box and the third is Baekhyun hyung being sent to a deserted island in said box.”

“I am telling Junmyeon hyung not to let you watch movies anymore! Where did you get that from?”

Tao made a gesture with his hand to Yixing who was staring incredulously at him.

“Not the point! They are being civil!!”

“Tao, just let them be. Whatever fate has in store for those two it’s in its hands so, let it be.”

“YES! Beat that hyung!” yelled Chanyeol really loudly making a little dance on his seat.

“Yeol, lower the volume or you’ll wake up Jongin, please!” asked Baekhyun without removing his eyes from his book, petting Jongin when the other whimpered slightly in his sleep before turning his face to nuzzle Baekhyun’s stomach, smacking his lips in contentment.

“Sorry Baek!”

“TAKE THAT ER!”

“Luhan hyung!” exclaimed Baekhyun finally averting his eyes from his book. “Are you serious? I’ve just asked big foot to be quiet now you?!”

“You’re boring! When did you lose your funny trait?” asked Luhan with a pout.

“On the day you lost your manliness, let’s not go there!” replied Baekhyun with a raised brow.

“I would make you pay for that comment if you weren’t injured!”

“You and how many more?”

“That’s it…” joked Luhan standing up.

“Approach him and you’re dead Luhan; he’s injured, Jongin is sleeping and it’s actually semi quiet in here, so don’t you dare!” threatened Minseok making Luhan sit in a heartbeat.

“Good…” mumbled the oldest darkly turning again to his article, ignoring Kris’ impressed expression.

Their phone, or at least the phone on the dorm, rang loudly and Junmyeon yelled that he was going to get it. The shrill of the phone woke up Jongin who blinked his eyes softly once twice, while almost everyone around him cooed at his adorableness, and he wrapped his arms around Baekhyun’s waist, making the other chuckle.

Sehun didn’t really get it but, in a sense, he kind of did; ever since Baekhyun had saved Jongin’s behind from being severely scolded, the younger had developed a tendency to trail after the older, cuddling him as soon as the other was within arm reach, which was cute. The older dotted on the younger boy and let him nuzzle his heart out, whenever he wanted; it was watching an older brother with a much smaller sibling. Sehun wasn't really sure how he felt about that, especially considering the fact that if it wasn’t Jongin, it was Jongdae, since the two of them were at top of the other’s list, if not for Jongdae, Chanyeol or Kris or Tao, or everybody for that matter, with the possible exception of Kyungsoo who, despite having started to talk to both Jongdae and Baekhyun, had still a strained relationship with them, much to Jongdae’s disappointment.

“Slept well?” asked Baekhyun affectionately, closing his book and using a hand to get Jongin’s bangs from his eyes.

The younger nodded slowly before standing up and unceremoniously sitting on his hyung’s lap and resting his head against Baekhyun’s collarbone, eyes still closed.

“Are you still sleepy?”

“Yes… hyung’s warm and comfortable and smell’s nice. I like sleeping on you.” he mumbled drowsily before squeezing Baekhyun.

“You big baby!” joked Baekhyun.

“At least you like sleeping on him not with him, leave that to Jongdae.” mumbled Sehun, quietly.

Despite the low mumble, everyone heard the other uttered by the youngest.

“You know Sehun” started Baekhyun nonchalantly “there is a moment for everything, including making those little snarky comments that you like so much but are detrimental for you, since they are the reason that you’re going to end up old, shriveled and alone, to the point that not even bacteria will want to socialize with you, however there is a point in your life when you got to ask that single nerve cell that you possess when to draw the line. I would say this is it, especially considering how things with Jongdae and Kyungsoo are. You don’t have to like me, as you clearly don’t already, but when you’re going to insult me, or at least try to, leave others out of it.”

Well it had stung and Sehun felt bad for mentioning Jongdae, precisely for the reason that Baekhyun had just announced. The whole room went quiet after that and even Chanyeol and Luhan had stopped their game to look at them. Baekhyun had a furious aura around him and they were severely afraid that the tiny male would flip and punch Sehun again. The maknae, on the other hand, was standing very still on his place, stiff as a board but those who looked at him carefully, could actually see that his stoic expression was not that stoic, his eyes, subtly gazing at Baekhyun where the main clue. They were certainly all on edge but Jongin ended up saving the situation, pawing at Baekhyun’s shirt and asking him for cuddles, to which Baekhyun complied.

The situation seemed to get back to normal if not for the fact that a pale and shaky Jongdae, followed by Junmyeon and Kyungsoo, had entered the room.

“Jongdae? What’s wrong?” asked Baekhyun in concern as soon as he saw the other.

“Baekhyun I…” started the other shakily. “I got a call.”

“And…”

“It was Mrs. Shin…she told me… she…” Jongdae tried but the other wouldn’t come out of his mouth.

Everyone was on alert and even Jongin had sat up, confused and worried. However, Baekhyun seemed to realize what Jongdae was trying to say.

“No.No.No.NO!” he mumbled standing up and grabbing the other’s arms. “Tell…tell me that this is a joke!” he begged.

Tears started dripping from Jongdae’s eyes and it took him a while to be able to look the older in the eye and reply to him.

“Chunja died this afternoon.”

It was truly a horrifying moment for all of them to simply watch Baekhyun’s face go paler and paler by the second, especially when he dropped to his knees, eyes blank and unfocused. Sehun felt himself freeze; he more than anyone else, understood what this meant and his mind went as blank as Baekhyun’s expression.

“Baekhyun!” yelped Junmyeon crouching to catch Baekhyun at the same time that Kyungsoo wrapped an arm around Jongdae who was now sobbing quietly.

“No. This can’t be! I went to see her yesterday, I sang to her.” mumbled Baekhyun nonsensically, before he started clawing at his own chest. “I need air, I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe. I need air, I need air now.”

And with a jump he bypassed everyone put on his shoes and disappeared through the door.

“Jongdae explain!” demanded a shocked Luhan.

“Baekhyun and I volunteer at the children’s ward at the hospital. We go there and play with the kids, we tell them stories, we sing songs and generally just try to make the children in there a little bit happier, as you know. They already spend so much time in there that we thought it would be nice to just give them something in return. Chunja was a little girl that was there being treated for lymphoblastic leukemia. She was going through a rough time when we first got there, the treatments were still new, her hair was falling, the meds made her sick. Baekhyun helped her a lot, I might be funny and make them laugh but he just connects with them, he gets them, it if as if he understands their pain and she just grew attached to him and he grew attached to her. Unfortunately, the chemo wasn’t doing much anymore and she was degenerating fast. I went to see her with him yesterday and now she’s dead. Oh God!” he said choking up, crying so much that his lithe body seemed to convulse in Kyungsoo’s arms, while the other whispered words of comfort at him.

“Baekhyun hyung must be hurting so badly…” muttered Jongin.

“I’ll go look for him before he does something stupid!” declared Kris preparing to leave.

“Don’t hyung. Don’t bother. I’ll go after him.”

“Sehun?!”

“I know exactly where he is and if he does, in fact, manages to do something stupid, I’ll be the less likely to allow him so. You all just crumbled at the sight of him.” The maknae told them with a sigh.

“How are you so sure of that?” asked Minseok.

“I went to hospital once, well more than once, and I saw hyung play with her. I know where he is. He is on the place where she would like to be!”

Kris was about to protest but Jongdae made him change his mind.

“Let him. He’ll know where to find Baekhyun.”

Kris looked at the maknae and nodded.

“I trust you maknae, don’t screw this up and don’t mess with him in his state.”

“I won’t.”

He grabbed his coat, and another one for his hyung noticing that the other hadn’t took one with him, and quietly went out. He breathed the cold air, letting it almost freeze his lungs. He paused for a minute, almost regretting his spontaneous decision to run after his hyung but, despite what others may think, Sehun was quite faithful to his heart and his heart was telling him to go after his hyung, to run after him and try and help him in his pained state. So he did, therefore, he went.

Sehun arrived to SM building after a long walk; he greeted people here and there, pausing to listen shortly when he found their dance coaches, before arriving to a practice room that had music blasting. He walked inside and immediately noticed his hyung in the middle of the room, dancing wildly like he didn’t have a care in the world.

He saw Sehun in the room, since he looked at the maknae, but he continued to dance until the music faded and only then he turned to the maknae.

Baekhyun’s face was pale, his eyes seemed a little less sparkly than the usual and they looked a little bit although there was no trace of tears on his face.

“What do you want Sehun?” he asked with a tired voice.

“Nothing, everyone was worried at you, I just volunteered to come and get you."

“You? What a joke!” snorted the older. “Are you here to offend me some more?”

“No. I am not cruel like that; this is not an occasion to make any kind of remark. Loss is never a joke, not to me, not to you or anyone else.”

“How did you find me out?” asked Baekhyun trying to mask his shock at the other’s serious words.

“I’ve watched you with Chunja enough times to know that you always enjoyed dancing with her.”

“Oh yeah, you know about that.”

“I do. So I figured you would be here.”

“Yeah” replied Baekhyun looking to something with a faraway look in his eyes. “She wanted to be a dancer. Even at four years old she was just so determined to be a dancer. I asked her once. She told me time and time again that she would love to see you or Jongin or Yixing at a concert because you are all such good dancers and she enjoyed watching you all dance so much, in a way you were her idols, her inspiration. She wanted to be like you guys. Her dream was to be good enough to be on SM and just dance. Dance made her happy.”

“So here you are dancing.”

“Here I am dancing. I am dancing because that was what she did when she was sad; I’m dancing because she would’ve liked that; I am dancing for her.”

“So let’s dance. I’ll dance with you!” told him Sehun depositing both jackets on a bench and joying Baekhyun on the floor.

“Why?” asked Baekhyun confused.

“Because she was a little kid who didn’t deserve this; she had dreams and goals to achieve and yet, life was cruel enough to deny her that for some reason. So let’s dance hyung; let us try and achieve some of them; for her and for every little kid whose dream flutter away from them, for one reason or another.”

Baekhyun nodded silently and soon enough a song was blaring through the speakers and both of them were dancing. There was no choreography, there was no precise or sensual move; there was no need for it, it was all an unrestrained and heartfelt successions of body movements and they both understood that this was more than dancing, this was remembering, this was touching dreams. It was simply so much more; larger than life itself.

Sehun noticed that Baekhyun’s eyes were getting redder and redder as the songs kept on changing; when the final song on the playlist stopped, so did Baekhyun; he was left standing on the middle of the practice room, tears falling from his eyes in an alarming amount, lip caught between his teeth and closed eyes. It broke the maknae’s heart; this was the definition of grief, there was pain pouring from the other’s body in waves and Sehun could almost choke in it. The angst was so tangible that Sehun could close his fingers on it.

He tentatively let one hand find a spot on Baekhyun’s shoulder and, as soon as it did, the older let a sob be heard, while his body shook and vibrated with the force of it.

“She was so young, she didn’t deserve this. I tried my best and did all I could to help her but it was not enough, it wasn’t enough and I feel so pathetic and so little. Why does it have to be like this? Why her? She was so little; she had so much to live!”

“Hyung, truth to be told, sometimes life is going to be just as cruel, other times even crueler than this. Death is something that none of us can escape and some leave this world way earlier than they should and there is nothing that we can do about it. It will hurt, damn if it will, the pain will only be there but there will be a point of your life when you stop grieving and you try to be the best you can be, because of them and because you want them to be proud of you.”

“I don’t know if I can make her proud!” whispered Baekhyun “I never knew how to make someone proud!”

Sehun felt his heart being squeezed tightly when he heard the whispered sentence, it was not remotely funny to hear someone say something like that, to underestimate and undervalue themselves in that way. He cleared his throat a little, suddenly choked up, and he wasn’t sure if it was for Chunja or for Baekhyun, before speaking.

“Grieve first and then think about making her proud or at least prouder because I am certain that she was already proud of her oppa. How can she not be? You allowed her to dream when life didn’t and made her days a little bit happier. She must have been insanely proud of you.”

Hearing those words, Baekhyun started sobbing more and he covered his eyes with his hands, letting pained gasps and sobs fall from his lips in a rapid succession. Sehun pulled him against his side, letting the smaller sag against him, trying to comfort him in this moment of great pain. It was the least he could do at the moment.

It was nearing two a.m. when they arrived at the dorms, both feeling emotionally drained and tired. Baekhyun had cried for a long time, head nestled in Sehun’s shoulder that, never once, let go of his hyung and the rest of the time he spent looking blankly at the wall, motionless, almost vacantly, as if he was a shell, as if Baekhyun’s soul had taken a hike, leaving his body behind. Sehun still stood there listening to the steady sound of his hyung’s breathing, intercalated with hiccups, and decided, at one point, to drag the other back to the dorms. The others were warned that he was with Baekhyun and that they’ll be arriving late but, nonetheless, he felt that the older should rest. Baekhyun had followed him without complaining, letting himself be pushed by the younger, without saying a word and it was scary to see him look like that.

When they reached the door and Sehun picked his key to open it, Baekhyun’s hand on his wrist stopped him. He turned to the smaller male.

“I just wanted to thank you. You were a great help tonight, a great adviser and listener and I really appreciate what you did.”

Sehun nodded, speechless, and opened the door. They both entered on the hallway, hearing immediately the sound of footsteps from the upper floor rushing, probably in their directions. What Sehun didn’t expect was the soft kiss pressed to his cheek. He looked at the tiny male in front of him.

“I’m serious. Thank you.”

Those words where softly uttered to him and Baekhyun even added a timid, little smile in the end, before Junmyeon and Kris came running down the stairs.

“Baekhyun!”

The smaller male was enveloped in a tight hug by Kris while Junmyeon approached him.

“Is he okay?” he asked in a low voice.

“Honestly? No! But he will be.”

They both stood side by side watching as Kris took the younger upstairs, gently cradling him up to his side.

“I am really proud of you Sehun! What you did today, caring for your hyung like that. I am just really, really proud.”

Sehun nodded at his leader and averted his eyes to his smaller hyung. Never once he would imagine that the one thing he would want the most was to see a real smile in that tiny amount of bad news called Baekhyun.




A/N: See what I meant when I said it was emotionally draining? This was one of those er punch chapter that really took a lot of me while writing it!! Did you liked it? Was it good? If so, subscribe, comment and vote it up!

Also, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY NEXT MONDAY! Holy crap! I am getting old and I really can't believe that it's a week away!!!! How on Earth did time passed so fast?!