Myungsoo's point of view:

Bae's memorial day:

     It was finally Saturday morning, the day that Bae had died years ago. I woke up to the annoying sound of DongWoo's snores. I threw a pillow at his face, but of course, that did not wake him. That man could seriously sleep through anything. I got up from the floor and stepped out to the living room. I wasn't surprised to find SungGyu and WooHyun sitting on the couch. They were always the first to get up.

     SungGyu had to wake up early because he's the leader of course, but poor WooHyun had no choice to get up since he shared the room with SungGyu. WooHyun was too interested in his appearance, and it wasn't surprising either to find him applying a facial mask on now. He swore he only took care of his looks for the fans, but we all know that he can be real cocky at times. Who could blame him? I'll admit, he's a pretty handsome guy.

     I then walked over to the bathroom to find that there was someone inside.

Knock knock'

"Busy." Hoya stated, he sounded strained.

     Great. The bathroom probably reeked right now. The fact that there was only one bathroom for all seven of us always bugged me. By now you would have thought I was use to it, not having privacy, but I was still reserved around the members. Their was so much these guys had yet to learn about me. Including things about SunMi and I.

     SunMi knew me up to one point, but their was always one thing I had kept from her. Years ago I had day dreamed about one day confessing my love for her. I would have done anything for her and the fact that she moved away crushed every thing. It wasn't her fault, I knew that, but the fact that we lost all contact angered me. The first week without her was dreadful, she was my best friend after all. It wasn't the same without her around. The first month was excruciating. I got angry all the time and had no desire to go to school. My grades flopped fast and SunMi's absence was a big part of it.

     As our phone calls stopped, our text messages remained unanswered and our emails unsent, a part of me died. I became colder, serious, and more realistic about certain things. I grew up in a sense. I refused to participate in any childish act. I thought SunMi had forgotten about me, so I had to forget her. I focused more in school and eventually found something that I really loved. M U S I C.

     I found myself again through singing and dancing. Because of this I had met Hoya and DongWoo, and had came together to become part of INFINITE. That was around the time I met MinHee. MinHee seemed to have a hard time adjusting to our school. She was from the country side and she had barely moved to Seoul. I pitied her and for a while I thought I did like her. She had confessed her feelings towards me one night and I felt the need to be completely honest with her.

Flashback:

"Oppa, you know I like you right?" MinHee asked, looking at me from across the restaurant table.

"MinHee-ah."

"What? Do you not like me?" She asked.

"I do, but. . . I like some one else." I confessed.

"Oh? I didn't know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't ha-" I cut her off.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm an idiot really."

"Why?"

"Hmph, because she's gone." I looked down to the cup of coke sitting on the table.

"What do you mean?"

"She moved away a while ago and I just ca-" she interrupted me as she took hold of my hands.

"I'll help you forget." MinHee then stood up and leaned in across the table to kiss me.

Flashback: END

     I didn't expect her to do such a thing, but in that one kiss, I did forget. I thought that with MinHee besides me, I could forget SunMi. It had been around 11 months of dating MinHee when I had become real tired of it all. I was lying to myself, and it was completely unfair to MinHee. In those months, SunMi's ghost remained. I was constantly reminded and MinHee's presence started to annoy me. 

     MinHee got angry from time to time because I still couldn't love her properly. I couldn't even kiss her anymore. The only thing that kept me besides MinHee was the fact that SunMi had been the one to move on first. I needed to move on and yet I couldn't. Knowing that MinHee wasn't helping anymore, I broke it off with her. She was sad about the ordeal but she had no choice but to understand.  

     I believed that SunMi did not care for me anymore, but seeing as she came back and is still attached to me, makes me wonder if I was wrong. Why would SunMi refuse to leave me alone if she didn't care? She was obviously still attached to this friendship but at this point I still believed it was non existent. I was still regretting on even agreeing to go to Bae's grave today. Why did I agree to go?

     Even though I felt a responsibility to go with her, I was still unsure of what I was getting myself into. I didn't want her to stick around, but at the same time I didn't want her to go away. Seeing MinHee again was the only thing reminding me of how much I suffered these past years. I can't forget those four years of suffering just because SunMi showed up now. It wasn't in my nature to let things go so easily.

     As Hoya finally exited the bathroom, he quickly sprayed some air freshener. I walked into the bathroom and faster than light, I stepped out.

"Yah! What did you eat?" I asked as I tried to breathe again.

"Sorry, I think SungYeol played another prank on me." Hoya explained, holding his stomach.

"SungYeol again? Aish, I told him no more pranks." SungGyu yelled out from the couch.

     SungYeol was going to get it.

     I decided to skip showering, their was no way I'd be clean anyway with that stench hanging around. I walked back in to my room to find that DongWoo had already rolled over to my side of the room. I didn't bug him about it though, I let him sleep. 'What do people wear to memorials?' I asked myself.

     In the past years, not once did I ever go visit Bae, and now I wasn't sure why. It bugged me now that I know this was the first time SunMi went too. Bae must have been real lonely, and I felt I should have at least gone. Bae was my friend too after all, the three of us were always together. Bae was over protective of SunMi, and I was happy that Bae never allowed her to come near any boys. I was grateful to him for that, but then again who knows if she had a boyfriend now. She could have met someone in the states for all I knew.

     I quickly gave up looking for an out fit. I grabbed the nearest pair of black jeans, paired it with a black and blue checkered shirt and a pair of white vans. The cemetery was far from the city and I preferred comfort versus style. I needed to blend in with the crowds the best I could in a any way possible. I'm an idol for God's sakes. Once I was done contemplating and thinking about useless past memories, I headed out to meet up with SunMi at her grandparent's home. 

 

---

SunMi's point of view:

     Today was the day. The day I let go of any remaining attachment I had towards Myungsoo. I hoped that being next to Bae today would bring me more courage to do so. It wasn't going to be easy, I knew that, but it had to be done.

     Bae's grave was far from here. My grandparent's said they had visited Bae at least twice a year. This year they allowed me to go on my own. They said I had a lot to catch up on with Bae. They were right, but I felt bad that I was using Bae's memorial as an excuse to see Myungsoo one last time.

     I helped my grandma cook the food and dessert for the memorial. My grandpa also did his part by giving me a bottle of wine and soju. Who knows what kind of alcohol Bae would have liked. I laughed just imagining what Bae would have been like. He would have been 21 years old this year, and I'm almost sure he would have grown up to be a very handsome man.

     After I had the lunchbox ready, not only for Bae, but also one for me and Myungsoo, I went back to my room to get ready. This was a special occasion but at the same time it felt like I was going to a funeral. I put on a pair of dark blue jeans, black flats and a black flowy blouse. I let my wavy hair down and put on some makeup. Simple, yet elegant makeup. Myungsoo was late and I was starting to think he wasn't going to show up, until:

"SunMi-ah! Myungsoo's here!" My grandmother yelled out.

     I quickly grabbed my silver, coach brand, side purse and headed out to the living room.

"You came." I said to Myungsoo as I saw him.

"I promised I would." He said with a half smile.

"Here you go." My grandmother said as she handed me the lunch boxes.

"Thank you grandma. Let's go Myungsoo." I kissed my grandmother on the cheek and then motioned to Myungsoo to head towards the door.

     We headed out and took a taxi to the bus station.

"The bus leaves in a half hour." Myungsoo pointed out.

"Mm, It seems so." I said.

     I felt awkward being next to him for so long.

"Are you okay?"

"Uh? Yeah, of course." Crap, he could tell I was being a bit weird.

     We waited for that last half hour seated in silence. He didn't say another word and neither did I. He got up a few times to call the members of Infinite. I took the chance to call Jia.

Ring Ring Ring

"Hello?" Jia answered.

"Unnie!"

"Oh, SunMi!"

"Mm, how are you? I miss you."

"I'm great. Oh my God, I've missed you too! It's been crazy living in Japan, but how's Korea?" She asked.

"Korea is amazing, it's a lot different than I remember."

"And Myungsoo? How is he?" I wish she wouldn't have asked that.

"Myungsoo? . . He's fine, I'm actually with him right now." I tried to sound happy.

"Really? What are you guys doing?" She asked curious.

"We're going to the cemetery, it's Bae's memorial today."

"Oh sweetie, are you okay? You're not crying are you?"

"No, of course not," I laughed, "I'm okay, I swear."

"Mm, you better not be. So, how are you and Myungsoo getting along?" I couldn't lie to her.

"Well, honestly. Not so well."

"What? Why?"

"He insists were not friends anymore."

"What? But then why are you with him right now?!" She was yelling through the phone now.

"Jia, please. I can't explain it right now, but . . "

"But what SunMi? You know I don't like people messing with you." She was angry, really angry.

     She had always been over protective of me.

"I know, don't worry. I swear today is the last day I spend with him. Okay?"

"SunMi please take care of yourself. Promise me today's the last day."

"I promise unnie." I could keep this promise, right?

      It's what I intended on doing any way.

"Okay. SunMi, I wish I could yell at you more but I need to go to work now. Please, get rid of that scum Myungsoo. You still have me okay?"

"Thank you, Jia. I needed that. Have fun at work."

"Yeah right. Annyeong Chingu!"

"Mm, annyeong."

     Jia was strongly opinionated, but she was right. Her conclusion was just the same as mine.  My short conversation with Jia only made my decision that much greater. This has to end.

"It's time to go." He said as he stood over me and took the lunch boxes from my lap.

"Yeah, okay." I got up and followed him to the bus terminal.

     We were the first to board the bus. We sat at the very back, Myungsoo wanted to avoid any one from recognizing him. A couple of young girls got on the bus and sat a few seats away from us. I laughed at Myungsoo's disappointed face when he realized that they didn't recognize him. He didn't find it so funny though, I quickly held in my laughter the best I could.

"Are we almost there?" I asked after an hour.

     I was starting to get annoyed by his silence, this was not how I wanted to spend our last day.

"We're another two hours away." He stated as he continued to stare out the window.

"I don't remember it being so far away?"

"We were kids that's why. You slept through most of it anyway."

"Why don't I remember that?"

"Looks like you're quite forgetful." He looked at me then.

     I looked at him for only a second and then looked down at my lap. I was forgetful about many things, but not Bae or Myungsoo. They were the only two people I thought of everyday. I wish I could tell him that, but I wouldn't want to look pathetic in front of him now.

"Their's no point on remembering the past anyway." He continued and then looked away again.

"Is that what you truly think? It's better to just forget the past." I was still staring down to my lap.

"SunMi, if you could change one thing about the past, what would you change?" Myungsoo asked.

"I guess I would have never left Korea, I would have never left you. You or Bae." I looked up at him again.

     He was looking down at the floor now.

"Hmph, but their's no point to that is their? Remembering the past is useless when we know it can't change the present. You left and that's the end of it."

"The past itself can't change a thing, but you can. Remembering the past helps you make new decisions. I returned because of that past Myungsoo."

"I guess you have a point." He looked at me and smiled.

     I proved Myungsoo wrong but I doubted that changed anything.

"Who were you talking to on the phone earlier?" He asked suddenly.

"Uh? . . .Oh, my friend Jia."

"The one in Japan right?"

"Yeah."

"How does she like Japan?"

"She seems to like it, I suppose. Why?" I was curious as to why he was asking.

"Just cause . . I bet she misses you." He said.

"Mm, I miss her too."

"Did you miss me?" He asked, his question caught me off guard.

"I-" The bus driver interrupted me.

"Quick pit stop every one! 15 minute bathroom break and then we continue on."

"Let's get off." Myungsoo then said.

     I got up first and walked off the bus. Myungsoo headed to the bathroom as I stayed near the bus. I was trying to gather my thoughts again. Of course I missed Myungsoo but I didn't want to tell him something that was pointless now. I wanted to end this as easiest as possible. This was only making it harder for me. I got back on the bus and this time I sat myself by the window. As I sat there and waited for Myungsoo, I quickly tried to fall asleep on purpose so that I could avoid conversing with him.

---

Myungsoo's point of view:

     SunMi never answered my question and that only confirmed the fact that she didn't care about me. I walked away, using the bathroom as an excuse, just so that I could calm my rage. I was beyond angry and now I knew coming here with SunMi was a total mistake. After I was calm again, I walked back to the bus. I could see from afar that SunMi was already seated. I walked over to her to find that she had fallen asleep. I quietly sat besides her and I couldn't help but look at her. She looked so peaceful as she slept.

     Time seemed to slow as I watched her sleep. Those next two hours felt like an eternity. We were almost there and I felt as though I shouldn't wake SunMi up from her deep slumber. She must've been really tired.

"Last stop!" The driver announced loudly, causing SunMi to wake.

     Thank God I didn't have to be the one to wake her up.

"We're here?" She asked as she looked over at me, with her eyes half closed.  

"Mm, let's go." I said as I slowly got up.

     SunMi walked right behind me as we trailed off the bus. We walked over to the busy street and started walking towards the cemetery that was right behind those busy streets. SunMi didn't speak and I didn't want to have to ask the same question again just to get no answer again. So we walked in silence, in an eery, awkward silence.

---

SunMi's point of view:

     As we came closer to the cemetery, I felt as though my heart was ten times heavier. As we reached the gates I knew exactly where to look for Bae. I remembered the statue of an angel, I could see it from afar now. I half run up to the statue and like I remembered, there was Bae. I kneeled down in front of his grave marker automatically and cried. I was smiling like a fool and crying.

"Oppa, I'm here. . .I'm sorry it took me so long, but I am here," I talked down to Baes' tomb stone, "Oppa, did you miss me? . . . I missed you." My tears became heavier now. 

"Here." Myungsoo said as he handed me a tissue.

"Thanks." I took the tissue and played with it for a bit before wiping my tears with it.

"Hey Bae. Remember me? . . .  You use to say I was an ugly gremlin," Myungsoo chuckled, "Not so ugly anymore am I?" I laughed along with him.

"Oppa, are you happy?" I spoke to Bae again after a short silence. "You must be, right? . . . I'm happy Bae. Even now, I am happy." My tears returned.

     After my lame conversation with Bae, Myungsoo and I began setting the food around his grave. It was perfect for my first memorial. There was a bench a couple of feet down the hill and Myungsoo and I headed there to eat our food.

"Mm, this is really good." Myungsoo said as he took a bite of the kimbap my grandma had made.

"I'm glad you liked it." I smiled happily.

"Did you make it"

"I helped a bit." I was honest.

     We sat and ate for a while as it became darker. The sun would set soon and we needed to head back to the bus station before it was too late.

"Myungsoo, I think we should go now."

"Yeah, you're right. It looks like it's going to rain too." We both looked up at the sky.

"Let's go." I said as I started to pack up the left over food.

"I'll carry that." Myungsoo then grabbed the food from my hand and started walking up the hill.

     We stopped at Bae's grave one last time and said our good byes to him. I'd be back for sure, but with Myungsoo, never.

     We got to the bus station just in time. Like literally, the bus would have left us if we would have taken another 10 minutes to get there. We boarded the bus quickly and this time we sat at the very front. The bus was already full. Myungsoo took the window seat again and stared off into space. It started to rain, just like Myungsoo predicted. I was beginning to rehearse in my head what I was going to say to Myungsoo once we got off this bus.

"Myungsoo, this is the last time we'll be seeing each other."

"Thank you for today. It was a great farewell."

"You insist on pushing me away, so I'll stay away from you from now on."

"I'll back off so you can live better."

     My thoughts were a complete mess once again. I felt the clock tick in my head as it counted down the hours, minutes, and seconds for our farewell. I was dying of anxiety.

 

4 hours later: Back in Seoul.

"Myungsoo we're here." I said as I woke Myungsoo.

     He had fallen asleep an hour into the drive.

"Already?"

"Mm, you slept through most of it. Let's go."

"Yeah."

     We got off of the bus and headed out to catch a taxi back home. Apparently Myungsoo was going to stay at his mom's house today, so their was no need for our farewell just yet. The drive home was short. It was quiet too.

"Thank you." Myungsoo said to the taxi driver as we arrived home.

     We both climbed out and Myungsoo walked over to the drivers side to pay the fare. After he paid, he then walked towards me. 'Now or never' I thought anxiously.

"Thank you for coming with me Myungsoo. It meant a lot." I started to speak.

"Yeah, no problem. It's something I should have done long ago anyway."

"Myungsoo. . ." It was time.

"Yeah?"

"I'll back off okay?" I finally said.

"What do you mean?" He asked confused.

"I wont bother you again. Just like you said, our friendship is dead. I see that now." I looked down to the floor as I spoke.

"SunMi-ah."

"Thank you, for every thing." I looked up at him, and I was surprised he looked back at me.

     His eyes were light, all hostility gone.

"SunMi, I didn't expect you to give up so easily."

"Neither did I, but I had no choice right?" He didn't answer. "Good night Myungsoo. Tell the guys it was nice meeting them." I smiled at Myungsoo.

     I just realized that I probably wouldn't ever see the rest of INFINITE again, and a new wave of sadness hit me.

No more cute SungJong?

No more funny DongWoo?

No more silly SungYeol?

No more caring SungGyu?

No more adorable Hoya?

No more lusting over WooHyun?

     I started to walk away. I could feel my tears start to form and goose bumps build all over my body.

"SunMi, wait." Myungsoo said as he took hold of my arm.

     What could he possibly have to say now?

---