broken!eunhae, angst

***

‘It’s impossible..’ I thought as I saw a familiar figure walked passed me. In second, I stood up and followed after him.

That messy-brown hair, that back that often piggy-backed me, that torso that I used to hug.. yeah, that figure must be HIM.

“Donghae!” I called him loudly.

The man before me stopped in sudden. His body stiffed. I approached him quickly and grabbed his wrist. Pulled him to face me.

Donghae widened his eyes as he saw my face.

“Eunhyuk..” he whispered.

I hugged him tightly. I missed him badly. But he wasn’t responding me.

I leaned backward and looked at him carefully. He looked at me with unreadable gaze.

“Hae?” I called him hesitantly.

He walked one step backward and turned his face aside.

“Hae... where are you these two years? I’m looking for you all the time,” I said.

Donghae took a glance at me then looked downward.

“Mian, Eunhyuk...,” he said, “I stayed abroad.”

“What?! But why didn’t you tell me before? Why did you just leave without tell me?” I feel anger in my heart.

It’s hurt, you know, when your boyfriend that you loved so much just left you in sudden and said nothing. It’s hurt to spend all of your days for wandering around to look for him. It’s hurt that along the days passed, your hope started faded away.

“Hae... tell me, please. Explain to me why did you leave me?” I pleaded as a tears formed in my eyes.

Donghae lifted his face and looked at me.

“I’m sorry, Eunhyuk. It’s just that I can’t keep on our relationship anymore,” he said carefully.

“You don’t love me back then?” I asked in disbelief.

“I loved you, Eunhyuk. I really meant it when I said that back then. But I found another person, Eunhyuk. And I can’t keep two-timing you anymore. It’s hurts me and him,” he said.

I gasped.

“Two-timing me? So that was the reason of all our canceled dates and all the times you ignored my call?” I asked furiously.

I clenched my fist tightly. It’s hurt, really hurt.

“Mian..” he said.

“Don’t you think that you are really selfish, Hae? You left me because you didn’t want to hurt yourself and that man, then have you ever thought about me? Have you thought that it’s also hurt me?!”

He kept silent. And it make my anger grew more.

“I looked for you, Hae! I always did that for these two years! Everyone told me to stop, but I never give up. After these times, you only said that you don’t love me and two timing me.. What do you expect me to feel, Hae?!”

“Eunhyuk..” he tried to reach me. But I moved away from his touch.

“We’ve been together for years, Hae, but now you broke me like this..”

“I didn’t mean that, Eunhyuk. I never meant to hurt you like this. I thought when I left you with said nothing, it would make yo easier to get over me,” he said worriedly.

“Hae, you are my first love and would be my last. I always thought that since we got officially dating. You taught me how to love, you taught me how to share, you taught a lot of things, Hae. Is the only one that feel that way just me?”

Awkward silence filled the air.

“I can’t believe it. I found you just to lose you again...” I said. I feel on my knees and sobbing hard.

He kneeled in front of me and hugged me. He caressed my back to soothe me down.

“Eunhyuk..” he called me as he lifted my face and wiped the tears that streamed down my cheeks.

“I’m really sorry,” he held my face, “But that’s the truth, Eunhyuk. My feeling was changed. And I can’t deny myself anymore. I can’t face you because of that. that’s why I left.”

I slapped his hand, “And then you happy, right? You are happy with that man while my life is miserable because of you!”

He was shocked that I shouted at him. I never the kind that would snap at people.

“I trust you for the years, Hae. And this is what I get for believing in you. If only I never met you..”

“Eunhyuk, please forgive me. I don’t mean to hurt you, Hyuk,” he pleaded.

“Then you should tell me back then. You should tell me that you didn’t love me anymore. So I can move on and don’t waste my times for nothing,” I said in flat tone.

My tears was stopped as I felt numb in my heart. It’s hurted me till I could feel nothing.

“Is it late if I told you that you can move on now?” he asked.

“It’s late, Hae. It’s late,” I said.

“Eunhyuk..”

“I don’t want to love anymore, Hae. I don’t want to get hurt. I’ve got enough,” i said coldly.

“It’s never late for finding a love, Hyuk,” he said, “Please, don’t give up.”

“No, Hae. Don’t force me to find another person or love. You better go, leave me alone,” I said.

“Hyukkie..”

“Don’t call me like that anymore, Hae. I’m not you’re Hyukkie anymore. Just go, Hae. It’s hurt me more if you stayed here longer,” I placed my head between my knees and burried my face there, hugged myself to keep me from broke down there and then.

“I’m sorry, Eunhyuk,” he said once more as I felt he moved away from me.

And my mind goes blank as a numb spread in my entire body. I don’t feel anymore. I don’t want to...