“Everybody’s bound to hurt you whether they want it or not at least find someone who’s worth these tears…”

                                         --- YURI

 

 

Yuri immediately stepped out of her car as she run towards the field of the park. She stopped her tracks when she saw a figure sitting on the bench. Even with the girl back facing her, Yuri knew for sure that it’s Krystal. It’s no coincidence that someone just decided to sit alone in the middle of the night at this cold night. She catches her breathes and walks slowly to the figure.

Even though she knew, it’s still a relief to her when Krystal’s figure comes into view, cause if she is not. Yuri doesn’t know where else to look. Krystal must’ve been in deep thought, completely unaware of Yuri’s presence.

Yuri stance herself in front of her, as Krystal finally realize Yuri’s presence when she slowly held her head up and saw her arm in front of her holding a handkerchief.

If it weren’t for the light that the moon is reflecting, Yuri wouldn’t notice the evidence of tears down her face, it was all dried but the visibility of it on her face is still there

Instead of taking the handkerchief, she cried “Yuri-ah…” as she grabbed Yuri by the waist, buried her face on her stomach and cries her eyes out

“I know…” Yuri utter as she gently rubbed her back “I know…”

 

They both lost track time on how long have they been staying like that. Until Krystal broke it.

 

“I stopped crying for a while now…” She said still her head on Yuri’s stomach and grabbing her by the waist “I just…” She sighed pulling her arms down still her head on Yuri’s stomach… “I’m too embarrassed to move”

“What? After all the things you pulled on me, you’re only embarrassed now?” she joked

Yuri felt Krystal smile “Yeah, just this one…”

“you should be ashamed then”

 

She deeply sighed as she pulled herself from Yuri “I’m pretty sure, you’re gonna think that I’m a crybaby”

Yuri smile, shaking her head “no, you’re not…” as she ruffles her hair and sits beside her “you’re actually tougher more than I thought you’d be…”

“really?”

Yuri nodded with a smile “and besides…” she continuous as she looked at the sky “What’s there to be embarrassed about crying anyway? Even the strongest person who ever exists also cries, even the happiest person sometimes cry… It’s not written but it’s a damn rule and there’s no exception from that…”

Krystal looks at her with so much admiration “Thank you…”

“There’s no need for you to thank me… I’m just stating a fact…”

“No… I mean, Thank you… Thank you for saving my life, literally” She starts still with the same admiration earlier “Thank you for being here with me when I needed a shoulder to cry on, when I needed an ear to listen, seeing me at my worst and not judging. For making me feel like everything is gonna be okay” as tears drops slowly “Thank you for letting me in, in your life…”

 “why do you have to say that while crying? Yuri smile as she wipes Krystal’s tears using her handkerchief “You’re making it look like I am forcing you to say it…”

Krystal chuckle “I’m just really thankful for your existence…” which made Yuri stopped for a moment

“Don’t ruin it…” Krystal pleads, thinking that Yuri might’ve said something funny again to which why she stopped “I’m having a moment…”

“I’m sorry..,” Yuri smiled “I didn’t mean to step in your moment… just, I haven’t heard that in a while also before you handed  it to me you might wanna hold that thank you for now.”

“Why?”

“I saw your sister…”

“I figured… you wouldn’t know if you didn’t”

“and we had small fight…”

Krystal raises her brow “small fight…?”

Yuri sighed “Fine… It wasn’t small and I actually slipped up and told her about you, I’m sorry…”

“its fine, I’ve been wanting to tell her that just I don’t see any reason to… I guess I should thank you…”

“Hey sis, you kinda hurt me for dumping me all the time, what’s so hard in saying that?” Yuri asked as if it’s the easiest thing to do “I’m pretty sure, your sister is not stupid to not get it”

“you’re making it sound easy but it’s not”  Krystal sigh “at least not for me”

“I don’t get you…”

“That’s fine… besides what’s there to complain, Tyler oppa is a good guy”

“Is he?”

Krystal looked at her confusedly “Why do you say it like he’s not? Do you know him?”

“no… that’s why I’m asking”

“I mean, he’s been nothing but good to me especially to my sister”

I am trying to understand everything even though I knew that most of his reason is a total lie. “Are you sure?”

Krystal’s confused face turns into suspicious “Is there something I need to know? I think you really know him”

Ever since we started dating, he became one on the top of my priorities but I never felt the same with him, it’s like I am some hobby on his free time. Yuri shook her head “No, nothing… just, I don’t really know the guy…”

“It’s not like you care who’s dating who…” Krystal pointed out “Tyler oppa is a good guy, my sister wouldn’t be happy if he isn’t”

I have always imagined my future relationship to be happy, to smile, to laugh, to make memories with that person and not to be constantly hurt and upset. “She isn’t” she whispered

“What? Did you say something?” Krystal asked “I didn’t catch it”

“I said it was cold…” As she pulled her coat on her body tightly “If someone saw us, they’re probably thinking that we are crazy for sitting here at the middle of this cold night”

Krystal chuckled “I need a quiet place… this place seems perfect”

“perfect for what?”

“for this…” as she took a box of ring

“Woahhhh, I knew it…” She gasped “When did you start liking me? I shouldn’t have been this good to you, I knew it would turn out like this…” Which made Krystal laughed completely

“I’m sorry, Ms. Kwon but you’re not my type”

“ouch!”

“you know who is it for”

“I helped you picked that, remember” Yuri told her “so why do you have to sit here and think about that ring?”

“I’m thinking of throwing this away” she said flatly  as Yuri stayed in silent “She will always be my sister, no matter what” Krystal exhale as took the ring out of the box as she stood up and ready herself to throw, when Yuri stops her

“Wait…”

“Why?”

“such a waste if you’ll just throw it” as she stand up “May I?” extending her hand with Krystal handing it to her “I know… just no reason for me to keep it”

“You said it’s only for your sister, right?” on which Krystal nodded

“Do you want to be my sister?” Yuri asked blatantly which obviously surprised Krystal “I mean, no matter how I think about it, I c----“

“I don’t need another sister…” Krystal cut her off “She’s more than enough…”

“Of course she is…” Yuri smiled “I guess that ends the validity of this offer…” as she handed her the ring

Krystal looked at the ring “I’ve always love to have a brother though”

Yuri frown “do I look like a man to you?”

Krystal shook her head as she smiled cheerfully “but you’re every bit of a brother I’d love to have”

“Not gonna happen”

“Whyyyyyyyy???” Krystal whined “you’re already fine someone calling you oppa”

And Yuri frown again “what?”

“Remember that last time we went out to eat at that new open restaurant, you went to the restroom and left your phone on the table… I saw it…” She confessed “you got a text from Sky, she calls you oppa on her text”

“you looked at my phone?”

“I said saw, not looked there’s a big difference… it appeared on your screen, I didn’t mean to see it” She explained “Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, opppaaaaaaa”

Yuri face turns sour “I changed my mind… I don’t want you as my sister” as she starts to walk

“yah, yah, yah!” Krystal runs to stop her “you can’t just change your mind like that…”

Yuri sighed helplessly “just don’t embarrass me for God sa----“

Krystal jumped off of her “I am so happy right nowwwwww!” she scream as she planted a long kiss on Yuri’s cheek

“Yahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!, that’s gross, get off me!”

Krystal laughing her heart out as she get off from Yuri “it’s yours…” took her hand and giving her the ring

 

Yuri sighed in relief when she got inside and no one’s around especially Jessica. She made her way to her room and as soon as open the door and turn on the light.

“Jessica?”

“you’re here, I’m waiting for you”

“My room is not a lobby” Annoyment was evident on her voice

“I’m sorry.. I just, I didn’t want the girls to see me…”

“Whatever it is that you wan----“

 “How is she?”

“She’s okay…” Yuri ease up “I drove her to their dorm, she’ll probably sleeping, I’m sure she’ll be fine tomorrow”

“Thank you…” Jessica smile weakly “I always thought I was number 1 when it comes to sister department but in reality… I am completely failing it”

“It’s a very long day for both of us so please…” Yuri said as she reached the door knob

“I broke up with him…” she utters before Yuri could pull the knob “I broke up with him”

Yuri turns to her “Do you know why Krystal kept quiet? That’s because she knows how much you love that guy… What do you think she would feel if she found out that because of her you----“

“He was cheating on me…”

Yuri looks at her in silent

“He was supposed to pick me up… and right after I cancelled to Krystal, he called me just to tell me that he can’t make it, emergency came up as always, and I let it slip.., how pathetic…” as she let out a dry laugh “then I just decided to go to Krystal’s dorm, she probably went home and continue our plan… and that’s where I saw him, In front or my eyes, he was kissing her…” as tears dropped from her eyes “Do you know what he told me? That he’s drunk and that he didn’t mean any of it, that he loves me.” As she wipe her own tears by her hand “It was tempting… It was so tempting to forgive him, to believe his lies, It was all so tempting but in that moment I remember someone once told me, don’t let his I love you trick you each and every time. The problem wasn’t him, it was you.

Yuri froze as she listen to her

“You keep making excuses for his bad behavior; you keep on accepting his lies, keep on giving him chances because you think I’ll get better.” As Jessica looks straight at her “that’s not love, that’s self-destruction, and you’re right, it’s not love anymore”

 

 

FLASHBACK

YURI’s POV

 

I looked at my watch, 08:30 PM, it’s still early but the dorm is already empty. We’ll dancing, singing, filming a talk show, variety show, concerts and everything for 2 whole months, 1 day break surely is a blessing, I just got back from visiting Sky and throwing my body on the bed at this early hour really is more than a blessing, I was in the living room on the way to my room when I heard a familiar voice, I guess, not empty after all

“You can’t make it?” Dismayed in her voice is evident “No, no, it’s really fine…I understand” she says but I bet if I could see her face right now, it’s the opposite.

I don’t see her but I’m pretty sure she’s in the hallway of the bedrooms, probably in front of her room

“Tiff is still here so…” eavesdropping isn’t my thing but I notice how her voice trailed, she’s lying “Maybe, we’ll just catch up the girls…” She probably didn’t hear when I went inside, even with her disappointment; her voice is loud and clear maybe thinking she’s alone so who cares.

I’m still in the living room,  for most days I would’ve gone to my room already, I won’t care.. I don’t really care, I mean that’s how I’ve been living my life but for some reason, I’m not in the mood tonight… So I left the dorm as quietly as possible

 

11:30 PM, I am standing in front of our dorm. It’s been over 3 hours since I left. She probably has gone to actually meet Tiffany or the other girls.

My throat is a bit dry so I decided to take water before I go to bed and that’s when I saw two bottles of wine at the table, two empty glass of wine to be more precise. Taking alone time, I thought.

Then my phone ring cue that it received a message, I took it out on my pocket as I read the message. It came from Sky.

“Please visit me again, I miss you ^_^” I smile at cuteness of this girl I am missing her already as I reply

“I will” as I put smiling emoji next to it, and put my phone on the table

As I was pouring water on the glass, I hear a footsteps and Jessica appeared. Surprised was plastered on her face, probably not expecting anyone or me to be home, as she walked straightly to the wine glass near the two empty bottles of wine.

 Well, surprised was mutual, I actually thought she’s already dead drunk on her bed from the two bottle wine but here she is, struggling to walk as normal as she could but obviously failing couldn’t blame her though if it was anyone they would be dead drunk.

We’re living together for almost 5 years now, but we are not friends, just simple colleagues but if you think about it we’re no better than a stranger.

I left immediately as soon as I finished drinking.

Took my jacket off as I put it in the laundry basket, I fumble my pocket as I search from my phone. That’s when I realized that I left it in the table when I read Sky’s message.

I sighed deeply as I went out my room and heard a glass shattering then followed by a scream “Seriously?!” as if the broken pieces of glass would answer

Jessica was already on the floor when I got into the kitchen, stupid enough that instead of getting a broom and a dust pan, she’s picking it up by her bare hand

I grabbed my phone and as soon as I got out of the kitchen, she groaned in pain “Arghh!”

I unknowingly sighed, She’s picking up the broken pieces while putting it on her other hand, did she really think she wouldn’t get hurt, stupidity at its finest.

I clutched my phone as I let out a big sighed and went back to the kitchen. Grabbed a tissue as I sit beside her

“Get up” I told her as I unroll some tissue “you’re getting yourself hurt”

Clearly shock as she look at me like a ghost appeared in front of her “n-no, it’s fine…”  as she fasten her pace in picking up the glass, so I grabbed her arm “you’re bleeding…” as I gently wipe a tissue on her hand to remove the little pieces of glass

I felt her tense as she tried do draw her arm “I don’----“As I tighten my grip and continue to remove the shred of glasses on her hand “you planning to have a cut all over your hand?”

I felt her ease a little “I-I can clean it up myself” she utters but still frozen on her seat

“you’re too stupid to think of getting a broom and a dust pan and ended up cutting yourself” As I let go of her arm, after removing the shred of glass  “what do you mean you can clean it yourself?” as I looked at her, she fell silent. That’s one of the rare moments where the “Jessica Jung” could not say anything or strangle me, what a sight to see

“I’ll clean it up, why don’t you get up and leave?” and instead of actually leaving, she slide herself on the corner, there could be pieces everywhere, if she’s lucky she won’t have to bleed on her back.

“Why are you doing this?” She asked leaning herself on the wall looking at me

“----“

“Am I a sight to see right now? You must really think I am pathetic”

“You are”

“I know…” She agreed, she must really feel bad right now, if it was another day or if it was another situation, we’ll be having a war

“who would’ve thought, of all people you’re the one who will see me like this” She mumbles “Don’t really know why if it’s good or not, either way… It’s humiliating”

The alcohol must have been taking effect on her “I have always imagined my future relationship to be happy, to smile, to laugh, to make memories and not to be constantly hurt and upset”

“I knew he was lying when he said that he had an emergency meeting earlier, he’s probably just meeting his friends why does he need to lie about it? It’s not like I will stop him”

 “Ever since we started dating, he became one on the top of my priorities but I never felt the same with him, it’s like I am some hobby on his free time,… scratch that, he’s been spending a lot more time playing golf than with me”

“I am trying to understand everything even though I knew that most of his reason is a total lie, he must have a reason, he probably didn’t want to upset me by telling he’s on a meeting or he’s busy with work or there’s an emergency each time he canceled one on me where in fact he’s just roaming around on God knows where and what he’s doing”

“And every time I tried to bring up every issue I have with him, one I love you from him and I’ll forget everything... back to square one” as she laughed in disappointment “Why am I like this?”

I’ve seen her cry when we debuted, when we first won, many times but I have never seen her as vulnerable like this.

I have no intention to become Jessica’s ears who will listen during this moment but I must have stopped midway cleaning listening to her, I am nowhere near done. I finished cleaning the glasses as I put back the broom and dustpan in its place, took a mop for the wine that’s scattered on the floor. And when I thought she’s done, here comes another again but this time it’s not about her boyfriend

 “Those words are something I cannot say loudly or more like I won’t, not to Krystal, to Tiffany or even to myself, it was always on my mind and finally letting all out tonight felt really good and the only downside, it’s with you. It could’ve been Tiffany, Sunny or anyone but you… Why does it have to be you?”

I take no offense, it’s not like I wanted to be here either.  As I turn to her and saw a look that I’ve never seen before.

“Can you please pretend tonight didn’t happen?” it was faint, like she was almost begging “I have never embarrass myself in front of anyone or anywhere before, just tonight, only tonight…  and just thinking about it is humiliating enough what more if you rub it on my face… So, please just forget everything, what you see, what you heard… everything that happens tonight”

“I don----“ I couldn’t finish what I’m gonna say, when her head fell down… She’s done for tonight.

 

I wash my hand after cleaning the floor then I looked at Jessica sleeping soundly on the corner.

“What a long day” I mumbled as I went to her, I kneeled to level with her “you shouldn’t go around drinking… at least left some sense in you to get home or to get in your bed,” I prepared myself as I slide both my arms in her legs and back

I gasped as I balance myself carrying her “you weight more than you look…”

 

Tiffany is her roommate, and it’s not that hard to know where her bed is and where is Tiffany’s. Pink is all over on the right side so everyone can pretty much guess.

I gently put her on the bed, as I was putting the blanket on her I notice the cut on her finger earlier.

The cut wasn’t deep and it’s nothing serious, I already wipe almost all of blood earlier but there’s still little dried blood. I fumble on my pocket, as I took the band-aid that Sky gave me for my face, and put it on Jessica’s finger.

Continue to put up the blanket as I sit beside and stare at her

“Never settle for someone who only love you when it’s convenient to them, don’t let his I love you trick you each and every time. The problem wasn’t him, it was you. You keep making excuses for his bad behavior; you keep on accepting his lies, keep on giving him chances because you think I’ll get better… that’s not love, that’s self-destruction”

When I was about to leave, tears just dropped from her eyes as if she just heard me but I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the case. I could bet that even if I slap her really hard she won’t even budge.  Her misery is probably chasing her, tearing up even in your supposed to be escaped from reality isn’t a sight to see, even from a stranger.

“Everybody’s bound to hurt you whether they want it or not” as she wiped Jessica’s tears using her thumb “at least find someone who’s worth these tears…”

 

END OF FLASHBACK

 

“at first I thought it’s just a dream, scratch that.. I knew its real, just I can’t accept that fact that it really did happen, so I pretended that it did not happen”

“Then just do so, I don’t really care...”

“I know…” she utters as she took a step

 

And when Yuri thought that Jessica will finally leave, her eyes widen at the next thing that follows. Jessica went to her and before she realized what’s gonna happen, Jessica already wrapped her arms around her

Yuri held her breathe, she couldn’t react or more like what to react. She froze as if Jessica’s arms were too strong to lock her out.

“I know it’s not in your nature and it’s not you…” Jessica mutters burying her head on Yuris’ “but can you please make an exception just for tonight?”

Is the long day finally keeping up to her? Is it Jessica’s scent?  Is it the embrace? Her voice? Or is it the fact that she can literally feel Jessica’s heartbeat that’s making her completely loosing it? She doesn’t know because it doesn’t make any sense, none of what’s happening make sense. Her thought couldn’t keep up, her mind went black.

“I feel like I’m going to break down anytime soon…” She trailed off, as Yuri felt warm gushing down her chest “and I really, really need someone to keep me from falling apart”

And in a heartbeat, Yuri moved her arms like she was just released from a unmoving curse and whispered “Exception granted” as she wrapped her in a warm embrace

And Jessica weeps as soon as those words came out.

Yuri stood there with her, securing her in her embrace, holding her so tight to keep every pieces of her together like how she asked her.

 

 

- Serenity