16.04.28 Thursday

Way back in mid January, I was discharged from IOP at the Emily Program. I have changed SO MUCH since before I went to Center For Discovery. 

I am now in 10th grade and I have made A LOT of new friends this year. I hardly had any friends last year and a lot of people hated me. I am very accepting of different people. I have decent grades now. The teacher that graded my 'ANA Shakespeare' poem last year has always supported me, and she tells me I look amazing every day.

2015: Starting to recover...         

Before: 70 Calories a day. Only fruit. Limited amount of water a day. Hours of excersize, but very tiredly and slow.

Now: About 2,000 calories (maybe a bit more)😋  I drink Juice, smoothies, soy milk, and many other things my eating disorder banned me from having. Still a lot of excersizing, but more studying. 

Before: All my money went towards laxatives and binge foods. Horrible migraines, random nose bleeds, coughing up blood, yellowing and peeling nails, yellow dry skin, bad teeth, chapped and bleeding lips. Passing out at school, gaunt, legs sore after walking up a flight of stairs. Bruising easily, drastic hair loss, red eyes, clogged throat. My voice made me sound like I was ill.

Now: I'm saving my money for college, extra money when I go abroad, and I'm not planning on getting plastic surgery anymore. I don't get nose bleeds anymore at all. My nails are very healthy. My skin is a LOT less dry and my skin has it's natural porceline tone and glow again.  Although I get tired because of all the studying at school, I have more energy and I focus a lot better. My hair is quite thick and pretty healthy (although it is quite dry because I have dyed my hair brown, then the tips cranberry, then ombre brown.) My singing is now much better.

Before: Last year I DID wear my make up, but I did not care much about looking really nice for school. I didn't even look at my face in the mirror at school to fix my makeup. It was all about being able to feel my bones. I just wore my hair up in a bun (my hair fell out in huge amounts) and wore very plain clothes. I just put on foundation and chapstick and tried to stay awake at school.

Now: I like trying new makeup trends from Korea and I dress my best every day at school.  I sometimes fix my makeup at lunch. I am inspired to do these things. 

Okay, I don't want anyone to get bored as hell.... hahaha

2015: my 9th grade year was the worst school year of my life. Through out that hell I lost over 20 pounds, even though I was at a below normal weight. This is NOT a 'Hot summer body weight loss!' Or an inspiration for you to lose weight. This changed my life forever. In a bad way. I arrived at Center for Discovery at a sick 95 pounds at 5'6. That is not normal for my ethnicity. I have not weighed myself in one year since I came home. My doctor told me I am now at 120, which is a lot better.

 😁

I don't see this site as a 'Girly' or fan fiction site anymore. Now, I see it as a site where you can write your stories. If you think I'm being stupid for posting this thing about myself on a FANFIC site, then anyone can suggest I take it down. I totally agree. This IS a fanfic site after all, but I kind of got carried away, I guess...

I am thinking about posting my story about my recovery journey, and all the amazing memories I have made.

I am keeping my name and everything like that TOTALLY anonymous. Sorry :(

I have made A LOT of progress. I know, I know... I DID THIS I DID THAT I really don't mean it to sound like that. I am just so happy that I've come this far in recovery. I would never imagine I would still be alive today. 

My eating disorder has robbed me of a lot of things. I had no fun with friends last year. I didn't really have any friends at my school last year. 

I am going to name part two 'Finding the Light.' Which will explaing my whole journey.

STAY STRONG