The Most

            The music was blasting and I could barely hear myself think anymore.  We were in the middle of dance practice for our upcoming fan meets and concerts, when somehow, I heard my phone ringing from against the wall.  I stopped dancing and ran for it because I knew it was going to be Kyuhyun.  Practice was supposed to end at around ten o’clock and it was already past midnight.

            Shindong threw his hands up into the air and glared at Leeteuk.  “How come we get to stop so Wook can answer his phone but not when I ask for a break?”

            “You ask every twenty minutes,” Eunhyuk replied.

            Leeteuk sighed, walking over to the stereo to turn off the music.  “Because he’s married and Kyuhyun is probably wondering where he is.  If practice would have started on time, we would be done already.”

            “Again, I’m sorry!” Siwon apologized wiping the sweat from his forehead.

            I miraculously managed to pick up my phone in time to answer it before it went to voicemail.  “Hello!”

            “About damn time you answered!” Kyuhyun cursed.  “I’ve called four times!”

            I smiled, despite knowing he was ticked off at being ignored.  It was nice to know that he worried about me when he couldn’t get ahold of me.  “Sorry.  It’s loud in here.”

            “You still at dance recital?”

            I laughed at his wording.  “Yes.”

            “Are you leaving anytime soon?”

            “The way we’re going?  Probably not,” I honestly admitted. 

            “You’re not going to see me again tonight if you stay there much longer.  Not awake, at least.  I have to get up early tomorrow.”

            I leaned against the wall and rested my head against the coolness.  That was always the problem.  Kyuhyun worked during the daytime for his enlistment, but the other members were mostly available late at night to practice together, since Siwon was often filming during the day and some of the others would do shows or shoots during the day.  I’d been trying to come in to do photos and song recordings when Kyuhyun was at work, as much as possible, but most of our group projects were on nights and weekends.  It cut into the time that Kyuhyun and I got to spend together.

            “I know.”

            “Tell the hyungs you’re heading home for the night!”

            “I can’t do that!”

            “Yes, you can!”

            “No, I can’t!  I just got back.  I can’t be acting so selfishly.  Are you trying to get the whole group mad at me?”

            Some of the members kept looking over at me, realizing that I was arguing with Kyuhyun over the phone.  It wasn’t their damn business what we were talking about, although it was impossible to tell them as much.  They thought everything was their business.  Donghae was trying to be sneaky and kept creeping closer, pretending he needed something near where I was standing.  Yesung was much more brazen and just walked over and tilted his head towards the phone to listen in.

            “Are you trying to make me mad?  I haven’t seen you in days, aside from saying good-bye to you in the mornings, when you’re actually home!”

            Yesung looked at me and shook his head.

            I shoved Yesung away from me.  “Get the hell out of here!”

            “What?” Kyuhyun asked.

            “Not you,” I quickly assured him.  “I was talking to Yesung.”  I scowled at my hyungs and walked closer to the door, away from the group. 

            “I was starting to wonder,” Kyuhyun admitted.  “It’s like you’re psychic sometimes.”

            “Psychic?” I questioned.  I could hear him slamming a car door.  He must have just gotten home, but I’d assumed he’d called me after already getting home and finding out I wasn’t there. 

            “You always seem to know what I’m doing, even when I don’t tell you.  It’s a little scary sometimes.  I’ll figure out how you do it someday,” he simply said.

            None of it made any sense to me.  “Look, I’m sorry that practice has run later than we anticipated.  I probably won’t be home for a long time yet, the way we’re going.  But I don’t have anything going on tomorrow night.”

            “It’s going to stay that way too,” he told me.

            I smiled.  He could be a little overbearing sometimes, but it was cute when it was because he wanted to spend more time with me.  “I promise it will.”

            “I mean, I thought you said that you missed me the most.”

            He was throwing my own words back at me.  Last weekend, when we were all in Macau, the MC asked me who I had missed the most when I was gone.  I should have lied.  So many of the fans were chanting for me to answer Yesung.  But for some reason, it felt wrong to lie to them at that moment.  Hadn’t I spoken about Kyuhyun in nearly every letter I’d sent my fans?  I missed him so much while I was gone.  I still did. 

            I felt my eyes start to sting.  Perhaps I hadn’t been sleeping enough because I suddenly felt a little emotional.  After confessing that I had missed Kyuhyun so much, I was the one whose schedule was messing with our time together.  The guilt was starting to get to me.

            “…I do miss you the most.”

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