The Evolution of Physical Contact

Part I

Possessive/Jealous

            It didn’t take long after joining Super Junior for the other members—and the fans—to figure out that I wasn’t that keen on physical contact.  Which was rather amusing because SM plopped me in the middle of an overcrowded dorm with a bunch of guys that couldn’t give a crap about personal space or privacy.  They walked around half — in Hyuk’s case—and listened in on all your phone calls.  And if you didn’t like physical contact, that was too damn bad, because there was barely any room to move around the place without rubbing shoulders without at least two other people at the same time.  It made the hotels we stayed in look like luxury suites…and they weren’t. 

            That being said, I made a bit of an exception for Ryeowook early on.  Oddly, it had nothing to do with the fact that he’s such a touchy-feely person.  We roomed together and were the same age.  After dressing in front of each other every day, sleeping in the same bed when on the road together, and even sharing food together (which I also don’t do, I’m such a germ freak), we grew close and I didn’t feel as weird about it as I did with the others.  I still felt a little shy about hugging him in public in the beginning.  He sure as hell never did, which is why there are so many pictures of us together, even then.  I certainly never pulled away from him, but it took time before I initiated things more.  I suppose that jealousy started it off, even if I wasn’t aware I was acting jealous.  Maybe I would have called it being possessive of my best friend.  But it was probably jealousy.

Recognition

            I don’t remember all the particulars of what was going on in the broadcast now.  All I remember is that I was wearing a hat of some sort and enough winter gear that it should have been somewhat difficult for people to recognize me without seeing my face.  But when you know someone well enough, you can recognize them from other clues: their body shape, their height, the way they walk or run, or the way they dress.  There’s something about them, when you know them well enough, that just stands out to you and you can recognize them from a great distance, even if you can’t see them clearly.  This is how Kyuhyun knew it was me.  And he ran for me, since I was who he wanted to see most, I imagine.  But I was not expecting the greeting I received.  I did not expect him to run up and