Everything was so different from what he had expected. Leaving EXO.. he knew that there would be changes in his lifestyle, things that he would be doing which he had never done before. But he hadn't known that there would be so much difference. When before he had been told what to do and when, rarely getting an input in on what he wanted to do, what he preferred; now he would be asked by the managers on what he believed to be the 'most effective' or 'beneficial' choice from a list of options. 

It was scary at first, the responsibility of his life was put back on his own shoulders and he hadn't known how to properly handle it. But he got used to it. He was no longer surrounded by 11 other members whom he could fool around and have fun with. It was lonely. But he got used to it. He no longer had to attend lengthy dance practices and vocal lessons, which he was thankful for. His schedule was emptier but also fuller in a way. He wasn't forced into the same schedule so he had an endless list of opportunities to choose from. 

He could do anything he wanted, essentially. The idea both excited and terrified him. But he got used to it, becoming more and more adventurous with his choices. He no longer had to speak in Korean all the time and could instead focus on Mandarin. It was weird at first, he would unconsciously ask a question in Korean instead of Mandarin and be looked at weirdly by the managers. But he got used to it. 

He no longer had Minseok on his side. There was no one who he could rely on to be there, no one who would listen to him and smile at him, no one who would pat his back and hug him, no one who would say that he loved Luhan and kiss him. He couldn't get used to it. 

But he would have to. 

After all, this had been his choice. He had been the one who had decided to leave EXO. He had known this was going to happen. All he could do was accept the few minutes a month he would get to speak to Minseok. A few minutes filled with rushed 'how-are-you?'s and a game in which they pretended they were both doing fine. 

But, strangely, he didn't regret leaving EXO. Despite the loss of the members (Minseok), he felt healthier and more at ease than he had in the last year. Which was all he had ever wanted. 

That didn't mean that he was going to give up on Minseok. One day, when Minseok was free from EXO, when Luhan was free from acting, when they were both satisfied and the fans had settled down and the law suit had settled down and just everything was better, Luhan would find Minseok. And he wouldn't let go. 

But until then, he would focus on acting. And he hoped, well, he knew, that Minseok would focus on EXO. Because Minseok wasn't the type to half- anything. He was the type who would work hard and stay loyal till the very end. He would continue being 'Xiumin' and smile for the cameras. He would continue being Minseok, the eldest hyung, the one that the others could rely on. 

Luhan would focus on himself. He would remain happy, cheerful, determined. He would be all the things he wanted to be, without any barriers, without any restrictions. He would become one of the greatest actors in China, one of the greatest celebrities in China. 

But he wouldn't forget. He would go back. 

~~~
BYE!