Luhan stood in front of the members, the boys who he had been his only companions in the last 2 years. The only ones whom he had been able to rely on. He had called this emergency meeting 10 minutes ago and the members had arrived, one by one. He glanced at their expressions. Sehun and Tao seemed curious, unsuspecting as they took another selfie together. D.O. was scolding a cheerful Baekhyun. Kai had a solemn expression on his face, dark circles under his eyes due to the lack of sleep he had gotten from his waist, which had been hurting him recently. Suho and Lay were also quiet, discussing something in a hushed tone. Chanyeol and Chen were strangely quiet, Chanyeol fidgeting with his pants nervously and Chen staring forward with a determined expression, his eyes focused somewhere behind Luhan. Xiumin was sitting on the side, smiling reassuringly at Luhan. 

Luhan took a deep breath. "Guys." He spoke up, his voice immediately silencing everyone. "Oh yeah! Hyung, what did you want?" Tao spoke up excitedly. Luhan swallowed discreetly. "Hyung, make it quick! I have to go for a vocal lesson." Baekhyun whined from the side. Luhan nodded. "Alright." He said. He sighed. 

"Before I tell you this, I want you all to know that this isn't because of any of you, the members and it is because of me; it's my choice. And I have made it after a lot of deliberation." Luhan started off. Baekhyun's teasing smirk visibly faltered and the boy's face paled slightly. Tao sank into Sehun, whose usual poker face looking concerned as he watched Luhan. Chanyeol let out a long deep sigh, his fidgeting stopping as the boy glanced up knowingly. 

"What is it?" Suho asked, the boy's complexion noticeably paler and his eyes panicked. Luhan took another deep breath and made eye contact with Xiumin. There would be no going back after this. He knew that. Once he said the next line, everything would be over. He looked at Xiumin. This is your last chance to stop me. 

Xiumin nodded instead of shaking his head and Luhan's mind cleared. "I'm leaving EXO." He announced, his voice firm and clear, void of any doubt or uncertainty. A terrible silence ensued for a few seconds as the members digested the news. It was only broken when Lay got up and walked over before hugging him. Luhan was surprised but quickly hugged back. Lay let go and smiled his sweet and caring smile. "I'm happy for you." The boy said softly and those words brought a smile to Luhan's face. "Thanks." He whispered back, not knowing how else to reply to the unexpected comment. 

Tao stood up and with quick, loud steps, he walked up the stairs and into his room, not even sparing Luhan a glance. Luhan sighed at the boy's retreat. "I'm sorry." He said to the remaining boys. "Don't apologize, hyung." Chen said, his voice calm as he walked over to Luhan and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, smiling slightly. "I understand. It's alright." The boy added. "You're not mad?" He asked Chen. 

Chen shook his head. "Being mad won't do anything." Chen said, shrugging his shoulders. Chanyeol got up as well. "I'm not mad as well, hyung. Just so you know. I'll be supporting you. Brothers forever, right?" Chanyeol said, a small but reassuring smile on his face as he ruffled Luhan's hair. Luhan grinned. "Brothers forever." He repeated, feeling so grateful for the 3 boys. Sehun was crying a bit now and stood up. "Hyung." The word came out in the form of a choked sob. Luhan smiled at the young boy. "Oh, Sehun, come here." He said, holding out his arms. Sehun collapsed onto Luhan sobbing and pleading him to not leave and Luhan just patted the boy's back, unsure of what else he could do. 

Sehun's sobbing stopped soon and the boy pulled away, looking slightly embarrassed about his reaction. He muttered something about going to the bathroom and left quickly. Chanyeol followed him, nodding to Luhan once before he left. D.O. chose that moment to get up, stretching slightly. "Well, looks like it's time for dinner. Should I cook some hanwoo for you, Luhan hyung? Since these are your last few days with us?" D.O. asked kindly. "Kyungsoo..." Luhan trailed off. 

D.O. smiled and shook his head. "It's okay hyung. I'm glad you told us." He said softly and gave him a quick hug and pat on the back before walking to the kitchen. Baekhyun stood up with a determined glint in his eye. "I'm not going to let them stop me from contacting you." The boy announced. Luhan smiled. "Thanks Baek." He said. Baekhyun nodded. "I know, I'm awesome." The boy said cheerfully, fakely. Luhan smiled again. Baekhyun's smile slipped slightly. "You're really leaving?" The boy whispered suddenly, sadly. Luhan nodded. "I'm so sorry." He said. Baekhyun gave a painful smile. "It's okay, hyung." He said. Luhan sighed, knowing it wasn't. He was just about to speak up when Baekhyun sighed. "Uh, I should probably go for my vocal lesson." He said softly, turning away and walking towards the door. "Wait, Baek!" Chen called out as he and Lay followed the boy out. Now, it was only Kai, Suho and Minseok left. 

Kai sighed. "I knew you were going to leave." The boy admitted into the silence. Luhan glanced up, shocked. "You did?" He asked incredulously. Kai winced. "Yeah. I wasn't completely sure, but I had an inkling." The boy added. He stood up, taking a deep breath. "Well, I'm going to miss you, hyung. You know that right?" Kai asked, softly, placing a hand on Luhan's shoulder. "I know. I'm going to miss you too." Luhan replied sincerely. Kai gave another smile and turned to walk to the kitchen. "See you later. Let's dance together before you leave." He called out, his voice slightly shaky and his shoulders hunched, as if he were about to cry. He walked into the kitchen and the door was shut. 

Suho was glancing upwards, twirling a key chain around his fingers with a blank expression on his face. "Joonmyun-ah." Luhan softly called out. Suho let out a 'hmm' in response. "I'm sorry." Luhan said. The twirling stopped. Suho glanced at Luhan, his eyes emotionless. "It's okay, hyung. We'll take care of the mess, just like we did last time. It's just another mistake that I made as a leader." Suho said calmly. Luhan shook his head. "It's not your fault!" He protested immediatelly. Suho smiled softly. "I should have been a better leader." The boy said regretfully as he stood up. Luhan grabbed him by the shoulders. "Joonmyun. It's not your fault. Please. Don't blame yourself. It was the management. Not you!" Luhan said with frustration. 

Suho smiled sadly. "But I should have done something. You should have been able to ask me for help instead of being forced to leave." Suho reasoned. He patted Luhan's shoulder. "Don't worry. I'll be fine. You just take care of yourself." Suho said with a tone that was weary and exhausted. He turned and walked towards the direction of Tao's bedroom. His shoulders were hunched and heavy. Luhan felt despair for his leader. "Joonmyun-ah." He called out. Suho stopped but didn't turn around. He inclined his head to show he was listening. 

"Let's talk once more, before I leave. Just the two of us." Luhan suggested. Suho turned back around and his eyes looked slightly more like the cute dongsaeng Suho had been during their trainee days. "Of course, hyung." He smiled before walking away. 

As the last person left, Luhan sighed. He turned and caught Minseok gazing at him. "I did it." Luhan said numbly as he walked forward and collapsed on the seat next to Xiumin. "I'll take care of them. Don't worry." Xiumin promised. "Minseok." Luhan said. "Tao might be a bit upset but I'm sure he'll get over it soon enough-" "Minseok." "And Baekhyun seems upset but I'm sure he will be alright-" "MINSEOK." 

Xiumin froze, his eyes widened as he gazed at Luhan. "Sorry." The older boy muttered. Luhan shook his head. "Don't apologize." He replied. A comfortable silence began between them as Luhan thought about the members. He had known leaving would be hard. He knew it would be difficult to leave his brothers. But it was only now that he truly understood what he was doing. 

"Oh god." He said softly. Xiumin turned to him and without a word, pulled the boy close so that Luhan's face was in Xiumin's shoulder. It was then that the tears fell from Luhan's eyes as he sobbed out apologies and worries. Xiumin held him close, patting his back comfortingly in a way only Xiumin could. Luhan breathed in the scent that only Xiumin seemed to have, an attractive and pleasant scent that was so familiar. 

What am I going to do without you?

~

If Luhan had glanced at Xiumin then, he would have seen that the older boy, was also crying. Silent tears falling from the elder's eyes as he blinked rapidly, wanting to stop but unable to. Xiumin gazed at Luhan's head through his tears.

What am I going to do without you?

~~~

Angstyyyyyy

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