For the first 2 months, he had been emotionless, blank. He didn't want to cry in front of his dongsaengs or appear weak so he did everything normally, going about the trainings and schedules like he always did. Jongdae had been worried and had tried to see if everything was okay. Minseok had insisted he was fine. He wasn't though, not really. Everything he did reminded him of Luhan, everything he looked at, everything he heard. He hadn't realized how much he had relied on Luhan until Luhan had left. 

It was maddening. He would go to the kitchen in the morning and unconciously make two cups of coffee before realising that Luhan wasn't there. He would feel a constant emptiness wherever he went because there was no one holding to him, no one wrapping an arm around his shoulder, no one holding his hand, no one whispering silly jokes to him. He would play soccer with Minho but it wasn't the same and there was no one that Xiumin could rely on passing the ball to anymore. Luhan had been a rock, someone stable, someone who was always there; someone to be a pillar as he went through the stresses of life as an idol. But Luhan was gone and he was drowning. 

It was only during the fourth month that he began to smile again, little and shy smiles as he called Luhan again and they talked. Luhan told him about how his health was much better and how he was happy. He told Minseok that he missed him and Minseok had told him that as well. The conversation had been short but it had been enough. They had both hung up feeling satisfied. 

And Minseok told himself that if Luhan was healthy, if he was happy, it didn't matter that they were separated. He told himself that they would meet up again, one day. He told himself this so many times that soon, he believed it and no longer felt that bothered by the fact that 'they're' coffee trips became 'his' and that 'they're' bed became 'his'. 

In the 5th month, he was stable. He was able to smile and laugh with the others freely. He hung out with other people; Baekhyun, Joonmyun, Jongdae. With their comeback approaching, Minseok didn't have enough time to talk with Luhan but then again, Luhan was apparently busy with his own promotions and movies. Minseok still had moments when he would miss the boy, when he would long to be with the boy. but it wasn't so bad. He could handle it. 

One day, Baekhyun had commented on how fast Minseok had recovered. Minseok hadn't known how to reply. He didn't really have any other choice but to move on for now. There would be no use in wishing for something that wouldn't happen anytime soon. But it would happen. One day. And that was what kept Minseok going. The faith that one day, they would be together again. He had wanted to say all of these things to Baekhyun. But instead, the only thing he said was "It wasn't a goodbye. It was a 'see you later'." 

And Baekhyun had understood. Minseok knew he had. He had seen it in the way the boy has smiled, a soft and gentle smile with happy eyes as he nodded. "Okay, hyung. Okay." 

No one really talked about Luhan. Especially around Minseok. They felt the loss of the cheerful boy but they moved on just like they had with Yifan. Joonmyun became a better leader, not bothering with concepts like bonding time anymore. Instead, he channeled his energy towards promotions and talking with the managers on how to improve their schedules rather than accepting everything. Baekhyun became a better singer, practicing more and more to perfect his vocals. Chanyeol became more social, appearing on more and more shows. Jongin practiced his dancing more despite his injuries and surprisingly, Jongdae joined him as well, claiming he didn't want to be considered as the member who couldn't dance. Yixing became more open about his feelings and began to take part in activities rather than sitting quietly like he normally would. Kyungsoo's acting career bloomed and the boy was busy learning lines and practicing his acting. Sehun became more social as well, talking more than he normally would, as if trying to cover up the absence of the two members. 

But perhaps, the most significant change was in Zitao. The younger boy rarely smiled these days and did everything with zombie-like movements, lacking his usual enthusiasm. He would reluctantly perform the wushu moves and he seemed to be gathering injuries more frequently than ever, having to visit the doctors at least once every week. 

And so, Minseok kept himself busy taking care of s. He would be there when Joonmyun had to vent out his stress and worries about being the leader and pat the boy's back as well as helping him with whatever he could. He would make warm tea (with honey) to soothe Baekhyun's strained throat after the boy had been practicing for too long. He would listen to Chanyeol who would constantly worry about whether he was making a good impression and whether this line is suitable or whether this smile makes him look creepy. He would visit the dancing studio when he knew that Jongin and Jongdae were there to hand out towels and water as well as offer encouragment. He would help Yixing with his Korean, teaching the boy words and phrases that the tutors would often neglect to mention. He would listen to Kyungsoo rehearse his lines and answer truthfully when the boy asked him whether it sounded realistic enough or whether the boy was potraying the character's emotions properly. He would let Sehun slip into his bed late at night and hug the maknae as the younger boy cried about missing Luhan and Yifan. He would take care of Zitao, paying him more attention than the others, making sure the boy was eating enough, making sure the boy was comfortable. 

But, sometimes, when he was tired from the dancing and working out he had recently been doing, when he was feeling like crying, he would selfishly wish that there was someone who would take care of him. Specifically, Luhan. 

He needed Luhan to hold him and whisper that everything would be okay. He needed Luhan to give him towels because he knew that Minseok sweated too much. He needed Luhan there.

But he wasn't and there was nothing Minseok could do but adapt and remember those extra towels and look at Luhan's pictures, in which he looked so much more healthier and reassure himself that everything would be fine one day. He would hold on to the hope that they would be together again one day. 

It was all he had. 

~~~

Okay, so I might not finish this by the end of this week (it's ing sunday). 

Sorry. 

Another chapter from Luhan will be coming up before (maybe???) an epilogue and then it's the end. 

So, ya. Thank you for all the sweet comments. It means a lot!

Bye!