“Ohhh, gotta go gotta go!” I race through the halls if the house, already fumbling with the zipper of my pants.

Whyyyyy did I have three cups of soda, two cups of water and a bottle of juice? Why did i think that was smart?

“Jungkook! No running in the house!” I hear my mother scold me as i pass the laundry room.

“It’s an EMERGENCY!!” I yell back and almost topple over the twins in the middle of the living room floor as I divert my attention.

“Oppa! Come play with us!” My little sister Minah looks up from her place on the floor and gives me the poutiest set of pouty lips ever seen on this pouty planet.

So, I stop, because come on, who can resist that face.

“Oooo, hyung was running in the house~ He’s gonna get in big trouble Minah!” Shut up Jungho.

“Shut up I'm Dum!” She hits her twin brother on the shoulder, then looks at me, flashing me a thumbs up. Atta girl I smile and flash her a thumbs up back, adding a little wink.

“Minah! Language! And stop calling your brother names! His name in Jungho!” Jungho smirks in victory, while Minah just rolls her eyes.

She’s such a sassy lil thang…

I stand there thinking about how she’s gonna get in so much trouble from sassing her teachers out in school when realize I'm still hopping in place because,

Hey, i still need to go pee..

“Sorry Minah, oppa has to go potty right now. I’ll play with you later okay?” And then I’m off again.

After getting lost (how? I do not know. I have lived in this house since i was six. I am an eighteen year old MAN now. I should know where the bathrooms are located.) about three times, i finally locate the bathroom next to office room.

“Ahhhhh.” I sigh as the built up fluid in my bladder was finally released. As I stand there, I look around the small space.

Hmm, I don't think I’ve ever been in this bathroom.

We only have two bathrooms…

The first thing i notice is the small window over the shower, and i start to get really paranoid about someone looking in on me as I urinate.

Calm down head. It’s over looking the backyard, no one is looking.

I close my eyes and roll my shoulders, getting into a more comfy position as i start humming a song to get my mind off of the window.

Why are there even windows in the bathroom? Do people want themselves to be looked upon as they bathe?

“Howly guacamole! How are you still going?” My eyes pop open at the very sudden voice that is most definitely not mine and therefore should not be in this bathroom with me

“WHAT THE-MOTHERER!” I startle so hard, body twisting in fright.

Urine sprays erratically across the walls and floors.

“!” I hurry to right myself, grabbing my ding-a-ling and aiming at the toilet once more.

It's quiet as the sound of my peeing fades into a light trickle. I keep my head down and shuffle to the side a bit, so my back is facing the window, just in case someone really is there.

“Are you done?”

, someone really is there, I wasn't ing imagining it !

I tuck myself back into my boxers quickly before spinning around, almost slipping in a puddle on the floor.

Dammit, so gross.

“Who the ing hell are you!” I yell, glaring into bright chocolate eyes and if they weren't pretty.

Why is it always the pretty ones that are crazy?

Chocolate eyes widen in surprise, eyebrows rising behind deep brown bangs.

“Wow, you're hot.” Jungkook gasps.

The audacity!

“And well endowed.” Boy in the window winks cheekily.

Jungkook gasps again, hand slapping his chest in offense.

I am feeling just so violated right now.

“Why are you even-” I cut myself off, because nope, I am absolutely not having a conversation with the creepy stalker in the window.

Just walk away, Jungkook. Just walk. Away.

I gather up all the dignity I had left after the embarrassing Pee incident, straighten out my shirt (which we, had wet, yellow stains at the bottom. Ew, I touched it!) and move to walk out the bathroom.

I’ll wash my yucky hands in the other bathroom.

Where I have privacy.

“Wait, wait where are you going? We were having a nice conversation here. Hey! It’s rude to walk away from a conversation!”

So over it.

And with an air of finality, I turn my back on the Weird Dude and walk out the bathroom, making it a point to slam the door behind me.

So now here I stand, bottom of my feet soaking pee into the carpet beneath me.

This is so embarrassing…

I shuffle my way through the halls of the house, taking care to make sure no one sees me in this moment of distress, looking around the corners before following through.

Like a ninja.

Jungkook the Ninja.

More like, Jungkook the Yellow-Stained Ninja at the moment.

I’ll go back and clean the bathroom tonight. When creepy stalker boys are snug in their bed and dreaming of kidnapping baby unicorns.

I swear, clean clothes have never felt so good as they did the moment I slipped my old, urine stains shirt from over my head and slipped a new, clean, tinkle free, shirt.

I am a CLEAN MAN! HAlleLUjah!

I quickly change out of my other soiled clothes, feeling like I was walking on clouds as each dirty piece of cloth was removed and replaced by heavens gift to poor-boys-who-accidently-made-a-mess-of-their-peepee-because-of-creepy-people.

Which is what he was.

A PBwAMaMoTPPBCP.

Pity him.

“Jungkook! Come open the door for our guests!” Guests? What guests? I heard nothing about more humans coming to our humble abode.

Or a doorbell.

I hurriedly slip on a pair of clean socks, stumbling through the doorway of my bedroom and flinging myself down the stairs.

“Minah!” I call out to the small ball of sass. I see her sitting at the dining table drawing flowers on her brother’s arm. Her wide eyes look up from her masterpiece to look up at me.

“Hey Minah, do you think you could go and bring the bathroom cleaners up into oppa’s room while he opens the door?” She nods eagerly and hops off the stool and dragging Jungho behind her while she sets off to do her job. I smile and make my way to the door, straightening out my shirt and pants before opening it with a flourish, a bright, welcoming grin on my face.

“Hello! Welc-”

“Wow, you’re even hotter without a piece of glass separating us.” I gape at the Creepy Stalker Dude, who gets hit upside the head by his mother for making such an inappropriate comment, standing on my front porch.

He brings his hands out from behind his back and reveals bathroom cleaner and rag.

“Hi! We’re your new neighbors. Need help cleaning up?”

I really feel like crying and dying of embarrassment.

I thought heaven loved me.