Sungmin finds herself more drawn to Kyuhyun day by day and her heart clenches at the helplessness she feels with the whole situation. She can’t disobey her mother and it’s not like Kyuhyun would like her back.

The girls were getting ready for evening class. Sooyoung, Hyuri and all the other day scholars were there too. They were all just talking among themselves when Tiffany mentioned the song SHINee’s Kiss Kiss Kiss.

‘Kyuhyun sings that one beautifully’, Sungmin couldn’t stop the words that left .

Sooyoung arched her eyebrow. She was always a cocky one. Hung out with the boys, coming to think of it, she was pretty close with Kyuhyun.

‘You really like his singing, eh Minnie?’

‘Yes, I mean we all do right?’

'Do you like him?' Oh god

'NO, what? I mean I like him as a person but not like that, what are you talking about?'

‘I don’t know, it looks like you may have a crush’, Sooyoung replied playfully, the other girls joining her on teasing Sungmin. ‘Our little Sungminnie……….. is in love…………’

Oh god, no, this was not good

And it wasn’t. Though they sometimes pair up their classmates and tease them in good humor, Kyuhyun apparently didn’t seem to think so. They daren’t but they made it a point to say something to Sungmin when he was in the vicinity. It made Kyuhyun ignore her, much more than the usual.

Well, who would want to get associated with a girl who had her name tainted, I guess. Sungmin couldn’t help but think bitterly.

2-1-13 – Sungmin’s dairy entry

It’s New Year but there seems to be no joy in the air. There is a lot of work pending in the academic front and also on the personal front but I can’t seem to be able to do anything. Physically and mentally I feel so exhausted. My head seems to be in a fit, hands are shaking making it so hard to hold my writing steady, I think I’m going to faint, but somewhere inside me I want to write. Write, yes that’s the only thing I seem to be able to do now. I want to continue writing those letters, they are something I want to accomplish, something done with real effort.

If I have taken any New Year resolution it’s to keep on writing.  To keep on writing with a hope that someday he would understand me.

2-1-13 Letter No. 4

Dear Kyuhyun,

Wishing you a happy New Year. Though I had mentioned I may stop after the last letter I realized that if I stop now then everything I wrote would be in vain. Whatever there is to tell should be told right? Today I’m gonna talk about something I had come to love after coming here – playing volleyball.

It was after coming to college that I learned to play. It was fun, going to the grounds every evening, it helped me forget everything in college and be in a different world.  I know I couldn’t play for the Sports meet last time. It was due to some foul play by a senior girl. We lost anyway. But I couldn’t help my tears falling then, I had worked up blood and sweat for this. So I wanna win one day, for the seniors who taught me to play, and for the college, I wanna win some day.

Regards

Sungmin

28-1-13 Letter No. 5

Dear Kyuhyun,

My letters explaining the past ended with the last one. I have talked about everything that has happened with me till now. Till now, I had a clear idea of what to write in every letter. But now I don’t have a particular topic. But what comes in our mind without getting any particular topic is a writer’s true imagination isn’t it?

I love your singing. I mean I have heard people who can sing better than you, but don’t know why I like your singing than theirs. Maybe it’s your voice. It’s so deep and warm. My dad’s voice is also a bit like that. He also sings, though not as good as you.  But I love listening to him. It brings back my childhood memories.

We have become closer haven’t we? Though there were some minor problems on the way I feel like we talk more to each other than in the past, don’t we? And I’m happy for that you know. Anyway I’m not getting anything more to say. So let’s stop this letter here.

Regards

 Sungmin

31-01-13

The class had gone on yet another tour. This time the place was a bit far way, almost 5-6 hours ride on the bus. As usual the trip was filled with laughter, jokes, songs and what not. Sungmin was feeling happy. She always liked being on tours, it was these tours that made her college life memorable, it was fun to be out with friends, even for a study purpose. And hey, then there are the songs. Since when did I turn such a music fan?

They were walking around in the bus and after a while they decided to settle down. Sungmin was sitting by the window and Kyuhyun apparently sat nearby. They were on the long seat at the back with Yunho and a few others. Sungmin felt giddy but her happiness was short lived.

‘Yah, move a bit, will you? I want to sit here,’ Sooyoung’s loud voice broke Sungmin out of her thoughts. She easily nudged herself in between Sungmin and Kyuhyun giving Kyuhyun a charming smile which he returned, though with less intensity.

Sungmin didn’t comment and turned her head to look out at the scenery. She didn’t have a say in this. They were far close than she was and frankly what could she say.

‘Why do you always sit with him? It’s annoying you know,’ Sooyoung who was apparently displeased with her silence, decided to prod further.

‘It’s nothing like that Sooyoung it wasn’t on purpose,’ Sungmin felt upset and tired.

‘Mmm, I hope so.’

Why can’t they just let her be?

The trip ended and they were on their way back. Sungmin was on the long seat again, Kyuhyun too though they weren’t sitting near to each other. Yunho, Onew and Hyukjae was standing nearby. They were planning which songs to sing.

Time went by and most of her classmates were falling asleep by now. Yunho and Hyukjae left early, Onew stayed a bit longer but then he left too saying he was exhausted. There was a shift in seats and Sungmin couldn’t comprehend how she ended up in that position.

She was in the middle of the back seat, her legs perched up on the two side seats that were in front of the back seat. Yonghwa’s was sleeping with his head on her one knee, and on the other Ryeowook was sleeping. On her left was Seohyun who was really exhausted and whom Sungmin was holding like a baby her upper body in Sungmin’s arms, trying to sleep. Seohyun’s head was on Kyuhyun’s lap who was now sitting on Sungmin’s right.

Sungmin let out a sigh. Aish these kids. Though she was exhausted like the rest she couldn’t bring herself to move. She stayed like that, a smile creeping to her face at the adorable faces of her sleeping friends. Kyuhyun was still singing though in a low voice. Sungmin felt something like content.

The bus was silent; almost everyone was asleep by now except her and Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun was talking to her about different songs. ‘Hey, have you heard this one, its really nice?’ ‘There is another one with a similar tune, I’ll sing that now’ ‘You like the lyrics, there is another song which has similar lyrics, wanna hear?’

Sungmin felt herself lowering her head onto Kyuhyun’s shoulder. He didn’t mind though, he just continued singing. It just felt natural and Sungmin couldn’t be happier. It felt like heaven.

After a while though she asked him to stop. He was exhausted and what was the idiot thinking singing for hours continuously? He didn’t stop though. He said sometimes it just feels to sing and he didn’t wanna stop. So Sungmin let him. It was only after his throat croaked and Sungmin felt him shivering that she made him stop. But by then they had reached back to the college. That’s 5 hours singing for you.

02-02-13 Letter No. 6

Dear Kyuhyun,

It’s been two days after out trip. Wanted to write about it when everything is still fresh in my mind. I really enjoyed that trip. If felt like our friendship had grown a lot. And I came to know a lot more about you. Haven’t I told you how much I love your singing? That ‘Musical Night’ was awesome.

That was also the day I realized you are a caring person at heart. I knew you wanted to sleep yourself but you gave me your arm to sleep on even if it must have felt comfortable. And it also made me happy.

Today’s exam was a disaster, I’m becoming really lazy these days I think. Anyway lets study better for the next exam right?

And another thing, you showed me that picture of your niece right? She is really cute you know, so much innocence in that face. When you speak about your family I can hear the immense love you have for them.

I wish I could show you these letters. But somehow it doesn’t feel right, like now the time isn’t right for showing. If for some reason you fail to understand me then all this would be for nothing, and our friendship may end, and I can’t bear that.

Regards

Sungmin.