Crusty Love

If you love two people in the same time,

choose the second one because if you really loved the first one,

 you wouldn’t fall for the second person.

Final Chapter

2 years later

I’m okay without you. I do well without you. Sometimes, I meet my friends for a drink even smile. There are a lot of comfortable things about being alone. There is no need to dress up. There is no need to wait for your call. There is no need to be pain because of you.

Day by day, the times go by and by but why is it that I think of you even more baby.

Though we break up, I guess it’s not over. Thought it hurts, I guess it’s not over. I didn’t know the strong memories you left behind were this tough. Should I give a call to you right now? Should I ask you to meet me right now? What should I do? What should I do?

You can’t come back and I’m going crazy, so what should I do? Tell me now.

2 years passed by unknowingly. It’s already 2 years, yes it’s already 2 years… I knew it’s 2 years, I have been dying with my ing heart. He really left me and never come back. It’s already 2 years, I have been all alone here, reminding to my stupid action in the past.

I just realized that I lost an important thing since the day when he took a step away from my life. Sending a Divorced request and left me behind without needing my respond. He is really a cruel idiot. He said he didn’t want to see me pain, but he left a huge pain to me in the end.

Since when I told him I chose him because of a pity? Since when I told him I wanted to back to Kris? That was all his imagines and he made his own decision to divorce me off in my birthday. How cool!

I was sitting in a coffee shop where was in Jeju province after avoiding from my work. I made my own decision to leave the council meeting between my dad’s company and his partner. Of course, I’m a currently working for my dad’s company in business communication as diplomat. These days, I’m really sick of doing those projects and prepare the contract hardly. But after I heard that, the company which would be our partner is Wu Enterprise which is belong to Kris’s family I gave it away to Krystal and ended up making my own vocation here. It was not meant I hate seeing Kris, but every time I see him my pain memory about that night will be recalled again.

These two years, I tried my best to move on and forget all what happened in the past and including my birthday party. I admitted myself I was fine since I made myself become busier. But still, fate kept annoying me even I came to the province already.

The song of “G.Na – Tell me now” was currently played in a shop, I was sitting. It awaked the pain in two years ago now. I didn’t want to be pissed but I really hated myself when I could do nothing… I was blind and I had no right to see him anymore.

Flashback 2 years ago

~ After you read this letter, it meant I am leaving already. Don’t look for me because I don’t want to see you yet.  I have been dying to think what the best present I should give you and I finally found it. I picked up the freedom present for you. Because of our marriage, you are tired already. I’m thankful for everything you did for me. I hated to see your hidden pain. Please be selfish to choose a love, don’t choose a pity one. – Luhan.

“Xi Luhan..” I held the paper tightly and turned to catch a gaze with Kris.

I didn’t know why things became like this. Reading this last message, I realized that I was losing a thing now.. a very important thing in my life.

“Haaaaaa………” I couldn’t help myself to scream out all my pain now, my legs were weak and they couldn’t stand anymore, as I plopped myself to sit on the floor.

“Sooyeon… be okay.. Sooyeon.. I’m here..” Kris shook my shoulder when my soul wasn’t here anymore.

“You know Kris… What are the difference between you and Luhan?” I suddenly asked emotionlessly.

“…………..” Kris said nothing and he just waved his head.

“Wu Yifan would cry if he is pain and after cry, he would be relief. Wu Yifan knows how to be pissed and release his anger. But Xi Luhan is different. He never cries even once, no matter how much the problem or pain clogs in his heart. Xi Luhan didn’t know how to be mad or disappointed somebody. He loves hiding his thoughts. Do you think how can this kind of guy exist in this world? Do you know which his heart was made from? A stone? A rock? How he could be alien like this?”

“You pitied him?” he asked.

“That what I thought before I saw this divorced request paper but now I just realized it.. I can’t really lose him… I’m sorry..” I pushed him away, and ran out.

…………………..

“Luhan… Luhan… where are you? Xi Luhan, how can you do that to me? How can you…” I didn’t bother to be embarrassed anymore, crying out while I was finding all travellers who would fly to China but I found nothing. He wasn’t here anymore…

“Luhan… why are you so bad? You promised me not to leave but you sent me a divorced paper in my birthday.. How could you…” I sat on the floor and cried all my regret.

…………………

Present

It didn’t mean I couldn’t go to him. Just I don’t want to interrupt his career. He is doing fine now and maybe finer than me.

I walked out from the coffee shop, turning to the left corner and leaving the highway. I enjoyed walking in a small block more because it calmed my heart in peace. I passed many stores till LG shop which was showing the soccer program on its new modern LCD inside the mirror wall.

Noticing, it’s the international game between Chinese and Korean soccer as the two captains of each teams were people, I knew.

Luhan stood for China against with Minho whom stood for Korea. Although I wasn’t going to him, I kept updating his new anyway.

Luhan increased his popularity now. No one could expect that he allowed by his family do join one of the famous Chinese soccer clubs and he made a lot of money because of his outstanding skill in soccer.

Auntie was a current CEO of Xi Enterprise in China, and also the best partner with Mr. Xi after their companies were combined together. In fact, that place should have been Luhan’s. However, Auntie aunt started considering her son now, and let him do his soccer career for years before he started officially run their company.

Luhan for now, he looked fresher and hopeful in his goal. I have been watching his games too.  Seeing him beside the TV was enough for me. I shouldn’t have gone to interrupt his career.

It was long time already. I didn’t even contact that family includin