Crusty Love

We met for seven years
No one knew we would say goodbye this easily
however; we still separated
with the memories we built for a long time, now gone.

                                                                                 - Kyuhyun

Chapter 12 Seven Year of Love

Beside the two owner of love, maybe nobody can understand how hard to quit this feeling. Some people may think they can move on so easily or want them to complete the complicated love in order to avoid the pain. However, they will never consider how hard to quit the feeling of 7 years to love someone..

Kris Pov

Since I was born, the thing I usually saw the most was the high wall as a palace room which blocked me from the real world.  Many people were jealous me to be given a birth in wealth family but it was only their imagining about me because they weren’t me in the situation like a prison. During my childhood year, I never got any warmness from parents like the other children. You know how much I was jealous to those kids? They could go to have fun with the others in their neighbors while me, I am Li Jiaheng the price of a family, were currently sitting and studying in the living room to my parents’ schedule.  Sometimes, I felt like I was adopted not their real son because they never cared about me or came to ask me if I was going well. They just paid for nurses and tutors to look after me and educate me as they never spent their time to talk with me even a minute.

I saw the other children were given advices by their parents. I was so envy to them. I also wanted my parents spend the time like that to me too, like going to join the parents’ event in my school, eating dinner together in my birthday and Christmas, picking up their favorite clothes to me, playing sports together or etc. You wouldn’t believe, I told you such a cruel childhood memory to you. My parents were no different from cold monsters, as they would never spend their time to have chat with me because their time was money in business. Thus, they just gave a birth to this child, leaving him in a big jail in China. Day by day and day after day, I lived like soulless kid. Whenever my school called my parents to meet like the other kids, my nurses always went for it. I was shame to face my classmates, they said I was adopted so my parents didn’t pay attention to me much. The surprised thing you would pay your pitiful feeling to me, I met my parent once for 3 years. They didn’t even make a call to me. All I lived with, were my maid, nurses, and tutors.

In my birthday… the day, they had promised that they would come to cheer me up.. but nothing happened beside, I was standing in front of the porch and trying to see the shadow of the two people whom had given me a birth… Although it was cold in the winter day, I really hoped they left Korea and came back to China to celebrate my birthday together… unfortunately, it never came… it never came to me…

“CEO sent us your present, he is having a sudden meeting with Xi Enterprise.. so his present will accompany you for him, young master. But CEO said he would come to make up this in Christmas.. please young master understand him.” Mr. Zhen, my dad’s bodyguard was coming to me with a box of an expensive watch. I knew it was super expensive but who cared about that such a stuff??

“Leave me alone…” I took it and threw it through the window with a huge of my dragon mood. Meeting again, business again…? How could they do that to me?   

In the Christmas day, there were many families were having dinner together in this time while I was on the long table, blinking to the empty space alone in the big room. Didn’t they promise me to come to make up my birthday? What earth gave me such a cruel memory like this? I just wanted to be like the other kids whom always got parents’ tenderness. Was it hard too?

In the each of 14 years old, I was finally sent to Korea to attend the Elementary school there, according to my parents’ plan. They wanted me to build my education here to get along with Korean after they decided to process their business here. I firstly felt like the heave started noticing me now..  I would meet my parents and talk to them as long as I wanted it. However, that was just a stupid imagine. They still left me alone to pay attention to their company instead.  How could I say? I was so done to them.

Living as the hell to get family’s ignoring, I was used to now. I admitted that I was stronger enough to care myself and having fun without family. I joined school’s even and social work with the other schoolmates. Especially, it happened when I was accepted to be in basketball club, I met my 11 friends. We titled our group name as Exo for being weird like aliens, well aliens maybe a bit cool.

I told myself I was okay without family, but still sometimes I was jealous to Suho, my bestie. His family was also busy business people too, but they always spent their vocation together if the festival came. Suho’s mom always got up every early morning to cook breakfast for him in order cheering his day. Wasn’t it too good? I wanted like that too. No need to give me own cooked breakfast every day like him, but just once in my birthday was enough.

Suho pleased me to share some of his breakfast to me, but I refused it. I hated to be sharing the parent’s caring made. I didn’t need all those people’s pity. As long as I was strong enough, I didn’t need the care anymore. I loved to be a cold person who didn’t need love, care, pity or pretending, for my own sake.

But… but…. when that day came… as I remembered it was in my 16 years old, I refused all my past ideas in year ago.

Seriously I didn’t need love and care anymore?

Seriously I wanted to be alone?

Seriously I could be a heartless person like before?

The little girl in the same age like me, was currently sitting next to me with her cute blink. Her smile was like the sunlight in the evening, and I was sure I suddenly fell for that warm smile. I could be said that I wasn’t an easy guy to fall for somebody easily.. but this girl, she was something. She had special line to attract my heart beat.  Seeing her, returning me to the warm heart I had been when my grandma had been alive. She looked alike my grandma, the only one person whom had given me a love.

“I hate how to live with my aunt, she always uses me like a machine without stop, so I am sad here.. Do you see my sad face?” the girl turned to me, showing her own though- sad face but I looked it was funny instead of sad. How come a girl had such a stupid face? Haha… but wait.. who was this girl? As I remembered, I didn’t even know her before and she suddenly plopped her to sit next to me and told me to look at her sad face. Wasn’t it fun enough?

Scanning around her school uniform, I was sure she was a student in my school too. Or it was the reason she talked to me?

“And then why?” I tried to pretend thing as not interested in her, asked her to clear my curiousness.

“Because I am sad, so I am sitting here with my sad face… but I saw you look sad and you are sitting here too. This is why I’m coming to accompany you, sad guy. We are sad people, we should comfort each other.” said the girl.

“Huh??” I felt like my sunlight angel started talking alien language to me now, I didn’t understand what she thought.

“Don’t worry… you can share me some of your pain.. I am here to accompany you… According to your sad face, I know you hide your sadness so hard…. Let bring it out..” she patted my shoulder tightly.

I awaked a bit since it was my first touched from a girl… but wait… since when I was a sad animal in her eyes? She suddenly showed up and told me I was sad. Seriously?

 “I’m strong enough and I have no sorrow or pain to be shared too. I think you got wrong information..” I got up although I didn’t want to. I really wanted to sit back and looked at her face fully for getting warmness. But I couldn’t…. I couldn’t break out my price to become an easy guy to fall for unknown just a few minutes.

“Are you leaving now?” she asked innocently.

What was with this sad girl?

“Because it’s time to go home… I have nothing to stay here..” I told her.

“But… wait..” she suddenly grabbed my hand, giving me a serious stare.

I was speechless… I just looked into her eyes… her dark eyes… shared me the happiness…

“So if you don’t need me to be shared your problem… can you please share my problem too? You are the last person I see today… please don’t reject it T__T” she hugged my hand tight, raising it to touch her soft cheek.

“What?”

“Honestly, I was punished to clean the school pool with friends.. but they all escaped and left me alone.. the pool is big enough for 3 or 4 people to clean.. so I can’t do it alone. I am looking for the rest students here but I got nobody.. just only you here… please…” she begged.

“What???” I couldn’t get it when she just came to make a friend with the unknown so sudden for sharing her punishment. How this idea came up?

“Tomorrow, the teacher is going to check.. or I will got more punish… please please.. help me for being human in the same world and school.. I will pay you an ice cream next day..” she acted cutie to beg for my help.

I couldn’t hold my laughter with this girl’s action now, she was too cute.. Unknowingly, I really accepted her favor. I couldn’t believe myself that I am Li Jiaheng, a son of Wu Enterprise put down my price to share her punishment together. Maybe that was the begging between us…

“I’m Jung Sooyeon, or my English name is Jessica Jung.” She introduced herself.

Jung Sooyeon? What a cute name?

I pretended not to smile, just stayed in emotionless face to her… “I’m Kris…” I told her my English name, because Jiaheng was only for my family, the birth name which my grandpa had given to me.

It seemed like it was the beginning of us.. from the day I first met her and I had excuse to stay with her more day…

Next day, she really came to me and treated me an ice cream after the class finished. We laughed when we walked. My cold mountain was destroyed because of her sunlight smile. She was pretty when she smiled and I wanted it for me only. We started to be friend, and she usually shared her problems to me. Making me feel want to protect her, I promised myself that, this girl was the only one I would take care as I would never let her sad even once.

But some days, everything was changing. She avoided me. I didn’t know what happened to Sooyeon, she seemed hating me now. Or because she felt bored to me?

I was more pain when I saw she talked to the new face guy whom just transferred. I admitted that I was jealous so much.. I hated to see her sharing that smile to another guy beside me. It was for me… for me only… Days later, I became sick to be ignored. Yi Xing, one of my friend in my team told me to confess my feeling toward her or I might feel regret later if she would be taken.

Jung Sooyeon… Would you understand this man’s heart?

“I hate seeing you with another guy… so please..” I told her while I hid her in the library. It was the day, that I decided to confess.

“Why you hate my new friend?” she blinked innocently and continued “You and he are my friends.. so…”

“Stupid, I don’t want to be your friend…” I yelled out, releasing my anger unknowingly. I saw Sooyeon’s face was pale. Maybe she was scared of my evil anger? I just accidentally released it.

“I’m sorry.. I don’t mean to yell at you.. but I just want you to know how my feel to you..” I put her hand on my chest, as soon as she got her red cheeks. I could sense it, she was embarrassed.

“Can you please move a bit, Kris? I’m breathless..” she pushed me a bit, realizing me that I was too close to her.

I slowly moved out, but kept staring at her.

“Can you just give me your answer?” I asked her again.

“I think you are drunk, Kris. We are just elementary student, so you shouldn’t have drunk in this age or teacher would catch you..” the hell of her respond she gave me before she ran away from the library.

What? Drunk? How good she was pretending?? I confessed her but she replied I was drunk?

Like people said, the man’s first love sent him to the grave. I was too deep in this love… I was loyal to my heart as never giving up on this love. Although I was rejected, I still went to her. Watching her together with her friends, were also my happiness.

Somehow, I accidentally heard something from my classmates about Sooyeon and her friends. It was about argument. Her group didn’t like Exo, or my group and this was the reason she rejected me. I was so broken heart…

“You cut your heart from her, or your sickness will get worse..” Yi Xing patted my shoulder, comforting me. But… I still couldn’t get it… How could I not compare to her friends in her eyes? I didn’t believe if she refused me because of only the word Exo, beside she didn’t love me back.

So I made another chance for myself, and it was the last confess. I risked all my soul and love in this time… If she rejects again, it will be over for us. I would move on.

 And that day…. It was my last confess and also the day I admit, I lost her. It happened in Valentine day… I stupidly made chocolate to her as the girls… It was a chocolate from my heart….

"Sooyeon... Please give me a chance to be your heart guard.." I gave a chocolate box to her.

"............." she said nothing, bitting her low lip seriously and returning my chocolate box back.

"Why??" I almost cried since this was already 101 times she rejected me.

"I'm sorry... I don't like chocolate..." she sent me a serious glare again before she took her leave.

It was like my friends said… I would move on… She hurt me damn