Suddenly, Connie fond herself tearing up. All those texts, all those invites from her friends; she can't respond back to them with a whole heart. She felt as if everything was her fault, that if she just replied to them, they'd be okay. She thought to herself that maybe they hate her now. Maybe they've forgotten her after over a month of last texting her. Was it true? Were they all fed up with her not replying? She knows Lya hates when someone doesn't respond to a text. She knows Gummy missed her and is probably broken over the fact she didn't respond. Each text made her feel weaker and weaker as a person. She felt like a terrible friend, a terrible sister, to each and every one of the girls.

　Connie couldn't bring herself to text any of them back. She just couldn't. She wanted to, but she just couldn't bring herself to typing up a reply to either the individual members or the group chat. All she could do was just lay there in her own silence and crying over what she could have continued if she wasn't so selfish. Sure, she wasn't the only one who wanted freedom to go out with friends and not be questioned if she's in a relationship or not, but she was the first to come out about wanting to leave the group in order to marry. Then the rest of her members followed, revealing the huge secrets they kept lock inside their hearts, and soon enough they all came to the simple conclusion of disbanding.

　Sometimes being an idol is hard. The long hours of practicing and recording. The whole filming process of music videos and teasers. Their excessive diets before every comeback. Everything was a struggle for each and everyone one of them, especially towards the members who were deemed 'chubby' by netizens. Not only were diets the problem, but dating was another huge struggle for many of them. As of 2022, only Lya was the one to reveal she was in a relationship back in 2015. After her, none of the other members wanted to come out about dating. Many of them were in scandals, yes, but confirming it to be true was probably one of the hardest things to come to a conclusion about. You put your whole career on the line if you confirm that you're dating someone, especially if they're an idol as well.

　Many of them did date, like Eight, Joyce and Connie herself, but when they would be in a scandal, they would all deny it. Lya and Seungyoon was the only couple that many accepted with a light heart. Why? Because Lya was a maknae that many loved, and Seungyoon was someone who was the typical 'boyfriend material'. They did have their some haters, yes, but overall, they were accepted. But when news like Connie dating Aaron came into the limelight, it wasn't accepted with the exception of a few Connie stans. Because birracial relationships weren't a common scene in Korea, especially if it's an idol that everyone adored, they weren't a couple that was loved by many. But when Connie decided to confirm the news herself, it became a number one search for nearly two days.

　Soon that week, they decided to seperate as a group. And because of that, Connie always thinks they fell apart because of her, because of her relationship with Aaron. But she loved Aaron with all her heart. When you have to choose someone you love and something you love, what could you possibly choose?

　"Love," Aaron knocked on the door as he spoke with the softest voice. Connie quickly wiped her tears away, not even thinking that her puffy and pink eyes would give away what happened to him. He opened the door as Connie sat up with her back against the headboard. "My parents would like to meet up with you for dinner. Are you feeling okay to go? If not, I can just tell them you're sick."

　Connie shook her head, "Don't lie to them like that."

　"What about you, Connie," suddenly the tension in the air became more serious and had a frightful aura radiating from Aaron. She had a feeling this would go downhill and would just continue to dig deeper down. Aaron's face became serious as well while he sat on the opposite side of the bed, "Didn't you like to millions about our relationship?"

　They've discussed this a million times, but for some reason, Aaron can't grasp Connie's thought process as well as she wanted him to. Connie sighed as she put her phone back on the side table, "Hon'. It's not like I had a choice to if I wanted to tell the truth or not. My career was on the line, and you know better than any one else that our relationship isn't accepted in Korea."

　"I know, but," Aaron looked at his feet that were laying flat on the floor away from Connie, "Why did you choose to release it now? Why not back then? Why did it take you seven years to say that you were dating me?"

　"Aaron, we went through this a million times," Connie started to grow pissed off at her fiancé. She's explained to this to him a million times before, and he still doesn't get it. What else could she say besides what she always says? What does he even want to hear?

　He just sighed before getting up from the bed to head towards the bathroom that connected to their shared room, "You know, I sometimes wonder why you chose me when you were so much happier being with your members."

× × ×

　"Hello?"

　"Gummy," Connie couldn't keep in her cry. She was upset over what had happeend between Aaron that afternoon and, up until now, he hasn't returned home. Connie needed someone to talk to, but she just couldn't choose who was the right person to talk to about. She could have called her mother, but she might go on a rant. She could have called her good friend to drop by and talk to her in person, but she didn't want to call her up so late at night. That's when she decided to call Gummy who, at this time, was wide awake in Korea. "Gummy, it's nearly midnight, and Aaron's not back yet. Help me."

　Gummy sighed through the other end of the call, "Do you want to video chat with me? It might make you feel a bit better to talk about this face-to-face, or, at least, face-to-screen."

　Connie just nonchalantly nodded her head, followed by a quiet 'okay' under her cries. She plopped herself into her desk full of pictures with Aaron and her family, and all she could think of was why Aaron decided to leave until midnight. She knew that he was supposed to be back hours before midnight, but he isn't. What did Connie say to make him act this way? She didn't know.

　Once she opened her laptop and put her password in, she immediately saw a call coming from Gummy. Connie quickly wiped away her tears as she accepted the call. The first thing she sees is Gummy lying down on her bed, which meant she was video calling through her phone. She sent a small smile to her ex-leader, which caused Gummy to smile just as equally small as her. Gummy waved to the camera, "Hey, are you okay?"

　Connie wanted to say she was, but she could only bring herself to cry even more. She bent her head down in utter pain and confusion, shaking her head as a broken 'no' escaped her cries. She could hear Gummy sigh on the other end, feeling Connie's pain with her.

　Through all the years that Gummy knew Connie, she's never heard her so sad, so confused. But Gummy was someone who understood Connie the most, next to Eight, of course. But Connie always turned to Gummy for advice and help, especially when she couldn't figure out what to do.

　"Con'. You'll be okay," That's all that Gummy could say. This was something out of her reach, something that could only be fixed with time. "I know saying that... isn't helpful, but... That's all I can say to you. This kind of situation can only be fixed with time. Just... Just try to talk to Aaron when you can, okay? I really wish I was there with you to comfort you, but all I can tell you is that it'll take time. If he truly loves you, he won't be angry with you for too long, okay? Trust me. I've been in your shoes before with Sandeul, and I can tell you that your love for one another won't break you apart for something as petty as this."

　Connie inhaled deeply, wiping her eyes clean from her tears, "But... Aaron—"

　The door of her apartment suddenly opened and shut in a fluid motion which caused Connie to quickly say goodbye to Gummy, telling him that Aaron had finally come back. After hanging up with her, she quickly ran into the connected bathroom to wash her face from the dried up tears as best as she can. When she finished up, trying to play it off as if she was sick, rubbing her eyes when she left the bathroom, Aaron had opened the door.

　He was all drowsy and his eyes continued to bat in a quick manner. The stench of alcohol became evident to Connie nose, and all she could process in her mind was "You're drunk. Aren't you?"

　Aaron laughed as he walked towards Connie, swaying from side to side.

　He was definitely intoxicated.

　By a ton.

　"Aaron, how much did you drink," She caught him in her arms, putting him gently in their bed. She took a towlette from their bathroom, returning to his side, and wiping the sweat from his face.

　He looked at her with bloodshot eyes, only to blink and exhale an alcoholic breath, "How much do you really love me?"

　Connie was dumbfounded and taken aback by the sudden question coming out from Aaron's mouth, "What?"

　"I said," He tried to regain his stature, pulling himself to sit upright in front of Connie, "How much do you really love me?"

　"A lot, a whole lot, actually. Why are you asking such a question, Aaron?"

　Suddenly, Aaron started crying out of nowhere, but most likely, it was due to such strong emotions. Aaron was in the worst state possible as he was unsure as to what his future held with Connie, especially considering she seemed more down than when she was with her members. Even if Connie didn't truly talk about her members, Aaron could immediately tell she wasn't the same when compared to being in Korea. He always thought it was his fault, that he was the reason why Connie decided to leave Korea in order to live back in America with him. He felt like Connie was happier only seeing him a few days at a time, but Aaron didn't know that this was what Connie truly wanted. Connie wanted to be with Aaron since the very beginning. It was only because of the long adjustment process she had to face when returning to America from being in Korea for a long time. Connie just had to slowly get used to it, but Aaron didn't see it as that.

　Connie didn't know what to do, nor did she know what to say to him. She knew Aaron was upset, and she knew why, but it never came down to that simple question of if she loved him or not. Of course she did, and she did with all her heart, but Aaron just couldn't see past the fact that her personality made a one-eighty when she arrived in America. "Bab—"

　"I'm so sorry," Aaron suddenly pulled Connie into his arms, squeezing her in a tight embrace that made Connie gasp for air at the tightness. Aaron started to cry on her shoulder, which triggered Connie's emotions as well. "I'm so sorry for acting like this. I love you so much, and I just wish I wasn't selfish."

　Connie could only pat his back to reassure him everything was alright, that this all happened for a reason.

　To remind one another that they loved each other no matter what.

　Then, suddenly, Connie got a thought. A thought that she hadn't gotten since her departure from YTT. It's surprising that this thought never crossed her mind as she only focused on the now rather than the past. She was so focused with Aaron and their future that she didn't consider her friends, her sisters.

　Connie realized, and realized too late in her life:

I never got to tell my members how much I loved them.