The journal has been gathering dust for a few days now since Tao has put it back in his room instead of carrying it around in his bag and he hasn't written a word in it for a solid week now. 

Kai enters Sehun's room to look for something when his eye is snagged by the thick, leather bound jounral resting on Tao's study table. There is something captivating about it, something that urges him to pick it up and flip through the pages. He reads the first entry, smiles at Sehun's typical statement, then hurries along the more personal entries by Tao because he doesn't want to pry. The final page catches his eye again. Only two words are written. 

Kai (reading aloud): Dear Diary...

He thinks it sounds rather...  as if he is going to share a secret. Casually, he wonders what he would write if he had to. With everything that is going on right now, with everything he's facing alone, writing in a journal sounds like a good idea - it is a safe place to vent without fear of reprisal. Seating himself in Tao's seat, he stares at the page in front of him, feeling all his emotions rise up. 

He's too sensitive these days, pushed far beyond the point of sanity and its overwhelming. Stressful. He has no one, literally no one, to help him right now. Moreover, he's scared. What if... what he suspects is true? How would he face his Shadow? How would Luhan react? More than that, how would the other Legends react? 

It's tiresome, thinking about it over and over. That's all he's been doing these days, worrying his head off while trying to hold his ever increasing power in and its slowly driving him past the edge. For some reason, tears blur his eyes - dammit, he's only a cub after all even if he acts mature. Sniffing a little, he picks up the pen resting on the table. Thinking for a moment, chewing his bottom lip, he finally comes to a decision and leans forwards, writing out a single sentence. 

What is wrong with me???

He stares at the words, pondering. Yet, he can't think of any other words to add - this single sentence captures everything that's eating him alive. Throwing the pen down, he leans back and holds in his breath as the sudden surge in his power threatens to leak from his link to his Shadow. He'd rather no body know about this. At least until he's ready. 

The door clacks open and Sehun enters, jumping on his bed without looking around. He thinks its Tao who's sitting there, so he throws a pillow at Kai's head. Kai reacts by baring his teeth, momentarily scaring the cub. 

Sehun: Kai! Damn you scared me! (sitting up) What're you doing?

Kai (taking a deep breathe to calm himself down): I was looking for my pens that you borrowed and forgot to return.

Sehun (thinking): Oh those...? I think they are... 

Hanging his head down the side of the bed, he stretches his arms out to check underneath it and grabs something. 

Sehun (straightening triumphantly): Aha! Here you go!

He throws an extremely dusty pouch at Kai, who catches it before making a disgusted face. 

Kai: What is this?

Sehun: I put all the pens and pencils in this - your things should be here as well. (lays on his back) Man, was it tiring today or what?

Kai doesn't answer as he gets up to leave. His eyes linger on the sentence he's written down before he shuts he journal. But the words continue to roam inside his head. 

'Dear Diary, what is wrong with me???'